Crowding one week old already!

It’s hard to imagine one that a week ago today we were just having a regular old Sunday. We read the paper, went to church and for some reason decided that it would be great to go to a “greasy spoon” sort of restaurant to eat. We found a place on U street that totally fit the bill and ate a really great breakfast of eggs, hash browns, toast, bacon etc… Then all we had left for the day was a long-planned baby shower being thrown by our neighbor at 3:00.

Little did we know that Su’s bag of waters had already broken and that Danny would be with us before too long. Fortunately at 38 weeks a baby is considered full term so we were very excited to learn we'd meet our little guy sooner rather than later. Of course we had no idea that we’d have a son. We purposely did not find out the baby’s gender when we had our ultrasounds, but it just seemed that every old wives tale including the “ring on a chain dangled over the mama’s pregnant belly” pointed to us having a girl. So were we surprised? Yes. Were we disappointed? No way. It’s fantastic!

I’m not sure when Su will post the longer saga of Danny’s birth so I’ll let her do the honors, but I will let you all know that our natural birth plan at our local birth center went perfectly until the very last stage of labor. It’s a long story but we were transported to Washington Hospital Center where our baby was delivered via C-section. As Su mentioned earlier, it wasn’t the birth we imagined but the final outcome was more than we could ever have dreamed of! I think we are both still processing everything and have both been moved to tears at different times this week. They are tears of joy and gratefulness. We both feel SO blessed!

Danny has so far proven to be a sweet little guy. Maybe all parents believe that their babies are how shall I say?—perfect?—but really he’s amazing. I guess all newborns are intoxicating. All of our senses are so aware of every part of Danny. I really “get” that gazing at your baby for hours thing now. I love watching him watching us watching him. Sometimes for fun he'll open just one eye which makes us call him our little pirate "aaarrrggg!" He seems to love hearing us chatter and sing to him (when we are not cooing at him like love sick little morning doves!) He even smiles at times which is ADORABLE although I've been told this is just a wee bit of gas. No matter, he's freaking ADORABLE! He seems to disdain getting his diaper changed though. Like he thinks we're going to let that go if he complains enough? Funny little fellow eh?

As I write, Su and Danny are sleeping upstairs. We’ve been up every couple of hours with him and as much as I wish I could help Su with the feeding part, right now that’s not something I can do. (Not that it’s stopped our boy from trying to latch onto lots of parts of me! ;-) There will be plenty of time to help with feeding him expressed milk later. The breast feeding has been going great. The hardest part I think has been for Susanne to get moved into either a good sitting or lying position at times. Having the C-Section was major abdominal surgery and although she is healing well, it still really hurts to move in certain ways. This too will pass of course, but I’m just trying to do everything I can to help her get up or shifted properly. Gosh, one thing about hospital beds—they can really do that work for you!

Alrighty then I hear the family stirring upstairs. Time to go. I'm excellent at changing diapers and swaddling now. I wonder if I can put that on my resume? Have a great day everybody! –Monica

P.S. There really are more photos on the way, including some that feature his lovely dark hair!

If you're happy and you know it...

Su is going to publish a detailed account of the story of "birthing Danny", but for now we are happy to share a moment that makes us both smile. It's our family finally getting to go home from the hospital yesterday. That feels nice to say, "our family". Danny is the littlest one lest there is any confusion! ;-) -Monica

We're Home!!!

Finally! After a long week we were finally able to bring Danny home from the hospital on Friday afternoon and have now spent about 24 hours getting settled in. As we're sure you've noted from the picture, Danny is absolutely perfect, and we are SOOO happy to have him here with us. As you'll be guessing from the mention of "hospital" and the fact that it has taken us five days to write our next post, Danny's arrival and first few days weren't quite what we imagined they would be. I did start writing up the birth story and will try to post it shortly to fill you in on all of the details. For the moment though, let me just say again how grateful we are for Danny's healthy and happy arrival, for all of the fantastic well-wishes we've gotten from all our family and friends, and in particular how grateful I am for Monica and all of her love and support, her hard work and her great blog posts over the past week and over the past nine months! Thank you, honey! --Susanne

A picture's worth...well you know...

Daniel's vital statistics are: 6 lbs. 13 oz. -- 19.5 inches -- 100% adorable!

More to come later. -Monica

It's a Daniel!

Susanne and are delighted to announce the birth of our son Daniel who was born at 8:53 am EDT on May 28th! Our son is 6 lbs.13 oz and 19.5 inches tall and unbelievably gorgeous!!!

Pics and birth story to follow (whan we have time:-)
-Monica (and Susanne and Daniel)

Harley's two cents...

Hello there everyone. Allow me to introduce myself. I'm Harley--the handsome and rather large cat to the right in this photo. And I guess I should introduce our other cat CJ. She's the one hogging the camera lens here. We have the good fortune to live with Monica and Susanne and if they can remember to give us food and water and periodically clean our litter boxes, we are pretty happy cats. (What is up with Monica always cleaning out the litter box lately? This has been going on for months. And let's just say she's not as good at is as my wonderful Susanne is.)

Anyway, I'm writing today because I have this sense that something is "going on". I'm not sure what exactly, but I think Monica and Susanne will soon be bringing home some new kitten or something. They keep calling it a baby, but that's what they called CJ when she first came too.

Now, I have no problem with a little more company--I guess. Although… hmm….Monica has been home all day today (something about taking the day off) and I have to tell you it's been a bit annoying. Let's face it. Daytime is when I sleep, so today was nuts. Susanne came home for lunch too which is unusual (but since I LOVE her it was fine.) Then Monica spent the whole afternoon working on some mixed CDs. How can I say this? She stole my peace. I think she's going to bring them to the Birthing Center? (whatever that is.) And get this--she was getting all choked up making the CDs--it was really rather ridiculous. Again, I'm just a cat trying to catch a few zzzzz's here.

Truth be told, the only really positive thing I've experienced lately is that CJ and I now have bunk beds. Mo and Su call it a bassinet but hey, it’s got a top compartment and a bottom basket so as far as I’m concerned it’s just another great place to stretch out and sleep whenever I feel like it.

I wonder what this new kitten will be like? Oh…what am I worried about? How could they possibly love any other living being more than me??????? ;-) Have a really nice Memorial Day everyone. Say…any advice? My beloved Susi seems to have put on a few pounds (right around her middle like me) and I’m wondering if I should say something. Then again, look at me. Who am I to talk? Hasta luego! –Harley

Precious

For some reason lately when I get on the train I find myself looking at people’s faces trying to imagine what they would have looked like as a baby. Conversely I find myself wondering what our baby will look like when he/she is an adult. It’s sort of silly maybe because I don’t even know what our baby looks like yet, but I do find myself really looking at people in a different way.

I also think about how each person was once someone’s precious one. Am I too much of a Pollyanna? Do I believe that every baby born was treasured and wanted and loved by someone? I guess I do. At least I deeply hope so. -Monica

Multiply "Mom" by the power of two!

This is a picture of a card we got from our friend Stacey last week. We feel so...so...exponential! -Monica and Susanne!

Aber ich spreche nicht Deutsches!

We often joke that Susanne likes to create things and I like to maintain the things she creates. For example, our blog. Susanne figured everything out and designed what you see here today (and our archived Verizon site). She also added the "ticker" and the counter--things which would never have occurred to me. But when it comes to actually using the blog—that would be me.

You see after she’s had her creative fun she’s not so interested--she's off to new challenges. In addition to not posting on our blog very often, she’s also not as into reading other people’s blogs as I am. Truth be told she often doesn’t even read what I write figuring I’ll just tell her about it anyway (which I always do ;-)

So I was surprised last night when she started talking about a cool blog she’s been enjoying called Journey of a Co-Parent. It’s written by a couple in Germany who have an adorable little boy named Nicolas. One woman is Canadian and her partner is German. We periodically get “comments” from them on stuff we’ve written and I think that piqued Susanne’s interest.

So last night Susanne was asking me if I’d read Sarah and Bebe’s blog (which I had) where there was a great post with interesting comments on kids learning more than one language. We’ve been talking about the same issue for our baby who we hope can absorb German, English and Spanish so it was a timely topic. Forgetting for a moment that I don’t really understand German, Susanne began talking about some of the stuff on Bebe’s German language site, asking me if I’d read that too. It was really funny! Keep in mind now that I don’t speak much German at all, so it really cracked me up.

So…since we are both now such avid readers, at Su’s suggestion we’ve added their blog to our side bar. We hope you enjoy it as much as we do.

Oh, and I just have to add that even though Susanne has biologically played a key role in creating the little life growing inside her, we’re going to “maintain” the baby together. Right honey? ;-) -Monica

Thank you...

First of all, thank you, thank you, thank you to all who came to our baby shower yesterday. Our friend Emily hosted a WONDERFUL party, and we are thrilled with all of the delightful gifts which will ensure that our little son or daughter is well equipped to begin life outside of the amazing place he or she now calls home.

Sometimes I am in awe of how great our baby’s life already is. “En utero” must be such a warm, snug, comforting place. Do we all on some level yearn for that place? Seek it?

One of my favorite poets, Ibrahim Hafiz, explains my thoughts on this far better than I ever could.

We are
Like lutes
Once held by God.
Being away from his warm body
Fully explains
This
Constant
Yearning.

Baby, your life will be different once you’re out here with us--it's no womb out here in the world. Even so, we hope we can help you come to know that no matter where you are, you are still held by God--just like you are now. There is no warmer, snugger or more comforting place than that.

Love, your Moms

Anticipation...

When I was a kid one of my favorite times of year was Christmas. The day itself, but also the anticipation of what was to come. You see, in early December every year, a Sears and Roebuck catalog would arrive in the mail. It was very big and thick—hundreds of pages as I recall—and I can remember going through it page by page with my brothers and sisters.

There were guitars and drum sets and wagons and catcher’s mitts. Sears Toughskins jeans and bicycles and Candyland. A cornucopia of epicurean delights.

I would sort of glaze over and just imagine what life would be like with all of these treasures. (I sometimes have this same feeling when I look through the SkyMall magazine on airplanes).

I don’t think I became a conspicuous consumer. (Case in point, I’ve never actually bought anything from a SkyMall magazine.) We only got one or two things each anyway since there were so many of us and that was fine. And as I got older I began to really understand the “reason for the season”.

But I still love anticipation--like what we are experiencing now. Boy? Girl? Who knows? As far as I’m concerned our baby is a gift that will be like Christmas in June (or possibly May.)

Oh, and I loved Christmas Day as much as I loved dreaming about it. No matter what I got. Happy Friday everybody! -Monica

Happiness...

Happiness is—all the winter clothes already packed away until next year!

If I ever doubted the concept of “nesting” before, I’m a true believer now. I came home from a meeting last night to find my darling Susanne tuckered out, and completely surrounded by storage bins neatly packed with every sweater we own. Did I mention we usually get around to putting our winter stuff away in say, July?

Wow…this nesting thing may actually mean that our house will soon reach the very APEX of neatness and organization!

And, if my calculations are correct, we won’t see this neatness and organization again until approximately 2025. Bring it on little baby, bring it on! -Your loving mother, Monica

April flowers...;-)

Well, apparently April flowers bring May showers. At least when you have a baby on the way. Yesterday Susanne's wonderful friends at Bread for the City threw us a shower and I think they managed to buy us everything on our Target registry. Well...almost everything. Thanks you guys. For the presents, and Susanne's favorite peanut butter chocolate treat. Mmmmmm...we'll be treating ourselves to little snacks for days to come!

We have 3 more showers coming up in the next few weeks. Believe me. It sure seems more and more real that a little baby will soon be with us.

Today I'm in a class all day (and typing this while on a break.) Guess I'll write more later. Have a great day! -Monica

Just the way it is

For those of you not familiar with the concept of lesbian families giving birth to babies, I'd like to point out an interesting fact. Those of us who are the non-biological moms have to adopt our children. Now I suppose I should just be grateful that the District of Columbia allows for second parent adoption (not all states do.) But jeez!

We have to get letters of support from friends to "sing my praises" and try and articulate why I should be allowed to legally adopt my child. Then we'll have to submit to a homestudy before a judge will rule on my worthiness to adopt this child whom I've loved since before it was conceived. It seem almost ironic that if Su were raising the baby alone or with a man the baby would live in the exact same house. But since I'm in the picture we have to be scrutinized. To me this makes no sense at all.

And...if a straight woman is married to a man and gets pregnant, the baby is his in the eyes of the law. It's not about who the "father" is (could be the milkman right?) The child is the son or daughter of the spouse. So since I can't be a legally married spouse, I have to be scrutinzed for my worthiness to parent my son or daughter. (Did I mention that adoption cost a boatload of money too???)

I bet there are plenty of homes in this country where there are "legal" moms and dads who would not look very impressive were social workers to come and check things out. Who wouldn't look like they could be very good providers if a judge reviewed their finances. Heck who don't even really want to be parents but they are.

When, God willing, our child can be legally connected to me, he or she will benefit there is no doubt. We can travel without my having to carry papers to prove it. All legal questions of order of precedence etc...will be unquestioned. I can use benefits from my job that will be better than the ones Su has available to her. It's all good for our baby.

Until that time, I guess in the eyes of our society I'm just that woman who lives with Susanne who is going to help out a lot with the baby. Yes, something is not quite right with this picture. Think about that the next time you get to vote on legalizing gay marriage. Go figure. -Monica

Top 5 for May 2007

Top 5 things I think about when I'm having trouble sleeping lately. I've actually been sleeping pretty well, but once in a while...


5. That either Su or the baby would not be okay. I’m sure I’m in good company with this fear, as I can’t imagine any partner not having some trepidation about this. No sense wasting energy on this. Whatever happens, happens. We've controlled for everything we can, so in the off, off chance there is a problem, we’ll learn all we can and move forward from there.

4. That life will now always required lugging more stuff. Hey…I’m the one who went to Peace Corps for two years with two small duffel bags and a backpack. Every thing I owned once fit in my old Ford Escort when I moved from St. Paul to Boston to start grad school. Su and I have traveled to Europe and South America with one bag each. I think having the baby with us will require perpetual lugging for a long time to come. Just something I think about.

3. That the daily routines I so love will no longer be. A calm hour of coffee and the Washington Post before I have to even think about getting ready for work. Weekend drives with just me and Su doing errands, chatting about nothing, making impromptu decisions to change our plans and do something else. Might be a little harder with the baby.

2. That I will be so in love with my son or daughter that I’m going to HATE ever going back to work. That 3 weeks I'll take off will fly I'm sure.

1. That Su and I are going to be a great team! We both have different strengths and personalities and together I think we will be pretty darn good at making sure our baby has a beautiful life. Now if we can only make sure that Harley and CJ are good team players too ;-)

-Monica

Taking Care of Business

Susanne and I had a lovely visit last night with Mikki and Kelly and their beautiful little girl Bailey. We learned that the trick to having a calm and sweet infant, is to invite people over. The whole time we were there (and a few other friends also came by) Bailey slept, well, like a baby. She was awake when we first arrived and perked up as we were leaving, but she didn't really cry a peep (just slept and cooed and smiled) for the whole 2 hours of our visit. As you will learn on Mikki and Kelly's blog, apparently one week old Bailey reserves her real crying for the middle of the night. ;-) Congrats again ladies. She's precious!

So...I thought I'd share something that I find fascinating. My fabulous wife is probably the most adaptable person I've ever known. She's almost 36 weeks pregnant (and glowing by the way) and when she can't bend down to pick up a small item up, she simply uses her toes like one would use a trash picker upper and nimbly puts the items wherever she wants. Case in point--this morning we were getting our dirty clothes all together to be washed and several stray socks were retrieved in the manner described above. Su's really not had any balance problems thus far either so it's actually sort of amazing to see her "take care of business" with such ease.

That's my Susi. Ever resourceful AND agile. Gotta love her! -Monica

Time Clocks... (are there any other kind?)

Can it really be May 9th already? It seems like every day lately is filled with fun things to do--errands to run and appointments to make. Everyone says that Su and I should just savor these last few weeks while awaiting the arrival of our baby, and I guess I can honestly say we are. Tonight we'll meet Kelly and Mikki's daughter and later this week friend's Lara and Rob's new son Toby. Later this week we've got a ball game and dinner with a former boss of mine who we adore. Oh heck. There's more stuff too, but the point is we are having fun!

It's funny. I was just thinking this morning about the fact that I never remember thinking I had a "biological time clock" ticking inside of me. I spent most of my adult life figuring that I just must not be meant to get married and have children. I couldn't imagine that life. Of course it took me until my really late 30s to figure out that the reason I couldn’t imagine that kind of life was that I wasn't really attracted to guys. So the white picket fences and the Bluebirds of Happiness flying around seemed like someone else's story.

My story was being alone, flying off to distant lands to work (Guatemala, Nicaragua, Cuba). Don't get me wrong. I've always loved children and I figured if it was God's will, then someday I would raise children. I just didn’t know what that would look like.

Then I met Susanne and my whole world changed. As we said in our wedding vows “you have filled my world with meaning—you have made me so happy, and I treasure the magic that is you.” I thank God EVERY DAY for my precious wife. How did I get so lucky?

So about that picket fence. Well, we don't have a white picket fence but we’ve got something better. We live in a lovely house surrounded by bamboo and flowers and sweet dear neighbors.

As an example, Mrs. P, an elderly neighbor originally from the Caribbean lives a few houses down, who when the weather is nice, we see all the time tending to her lovely garden. Mrs. P. always wishes us a blessed day and when she sees one of us without the other she ALWAYS asks “where’s your lady today sweetheart?” It’s so dear. And she’s just one of so many neighbors on our little cul-de-sac that make us feel part of a family. A diverse, energetic, supportive and loving family. I guess this is the my proverbial white picket fence I never knew I could have. A "fence" of people who make us feel safe and protected but also add such beauty to our existence. Yes, we love this white picket fence of humanity we're surrounded by.

And as for Bluebirds of Happiness? They are right outside our window. Along with the cardinals and other birdies. Just ask our cats. They love to “chat/chatter” with them all day long. ;-)

So, I guess officially now my biological time clock IS ticking. It's like a whole new "us" is going to be born soon too. A lot will be different, but a lot will probably still be the same. I’m sure, for example, that our lives will still be filled with lots of cheese. Come what may. So come on little baby...when you’re ready we can’t wait to meet you!!!! (There’s cheese out here!) I predict our child will love Wallace and Gromit!!!! -Monica

Danny's First Year

Danny's 12th Month
Danny's 11th Month
Danny's 10th Month
Danny's 9th Month
Danny's 8th Month
Danny's 7th Month
Danny's 6th Month
Danny's 5th Month
Danny's 4th Month
Danny's Baptism Day
Danny's 3rd Month
Danny's 2nd Month
Danny's 1st Month
Danny's 1st Week

Another milestone

We found out about a year ago that our friends Em and Zach were going to get married on “Cinco de Mayo” '07. They’d decided on Kansas for a location (where they's met at KU) and when we found out we were due in June, we let them know that we’d be there. Unless we couldn't. It just seemed very far off in the future back then.

So this weekend we had a wonderful time in Lawrence, KS. The wedding was beautiful and tons of fun and Susanne traveled with no problem at almost 35 weeks (the direct flight from DC to KS was about 2 hours). So anyway, when we arrived home last night I suddenly realized that this trip was the last big milestone before the baby will arrive. From here on out we'll be traveling for at least 3!

And since babies can arrive at week 37 and be considered full term, it is possible that in just a short two weeks we could be moms!!! We think it would be better for the baby to stay in a bit longer (well maybe I should speak for myself—I’m not the one gestating our little one!) But we guess it would be a good idea to get prepared just in case the baby makes an early appearance. We are not worried about being prepared to welcome the baby, more we are thinking about being prepared to transition our work over to others. I'm only going to be out for 3 weeks while Su will take off 6 months. She's been working a long time to get her team ready to carry on without her but is anyone really ever ready? I guess we both just realized that we should clean or desks up a bit and start getting things in better order.

We spent some time at thrift shops and bookstores this weekend while in KS and picked up a book that was highly recommended to us by our Birthworks instructor. It’s called “The Happiest Baby on the Block” by Dr. Harvey Karp.

It was really neat and the author believes that babies in their first three months really need what he calls a 4th trimester. It’s an easy to read book where he talks about the value of swaddling, jiggling and making shushing noises (among other things) to help calm a baby down. Apparently there is a calming reflex that can be activated with the right tricks. The idea is to replicate some womb experiences to help kids feel soothed. We really liked it and I fully intend to practice swaddling with an old cabbage patch doll of Su’s (umm…I wasn’t really into Cabbage Patch dolls myself as a kid). Apparently neither of our cats seem like they’d be into my experimenting, so I’ll just try it out on the doll ;-)

Alrighty then. Back to my “to do” list that has 20 tasks on it still. And I really think I’m ready to be off work for several weeks in the near future????? -Monica

Welcome Bailey!

Congratulations to our friends Mikki and Kelly who became the proud mothers of Bailey yesterday (check out Our Little Honey) We are both very excited for our friends whom we met when we all took a class called Maybe Baby, to learn all about options for lesbian women to become moms. Again, congratulations you two. Can't wait to meet our baby's little friend ;-)

Susanne is now heading toward week 35 and we are starting to think we should get a bag packed or something. At 37 weeks one is considered full term and some people have babies even before 37 weeks so we are getting more excited about the impending arrival of our little sugar pie. The baby is still kicking away and on Tuesday had a heart beat of 14o which is quite in the normal range. Susanne has continued to see that chiropractor and is sleeping better at night.

Work has been really busy for both of us and tomorrow we leaving on a jet plane to go to a friend's wedding. Su can still fly without needing any special doctor's permission up until 36 weeks so we'll be okay. Alrighty then--Onward and upward. -Monica

On the road...

Greetings from beautiful Williamsburg, VA. I am attending a conference for work, and although it's been for the most part a bit ho hum, I did get really excited about a presentation I saw from one of the top IT folks at Adobe. He talked about a next generation of internet where the we'll be able to do tasks with wizards (like we can do now) but the interface will look a lot more like our desktops with draggable folders etc... So for example if you were on a website trying to find out if you were elegible for certain benefits, the more questions you answered, the platform would narrow down the programs you could apply for and display folders. With one click you'd be applying and scheduling meetings with case managers. (It really is the stuff of science fiction in that regard ;-) But I love stuff like that. Coming up with ideas that really help people accomplish their tasks online. It's just that creative part of me I guess.

Of course being away for a few days on a trip like this has its fun side, but in all honesty I HATE being away from my sweetie. I've been glued to my cell phone for the last two days on the off, off chance that Susanne might need me to come back right away (I think all expectant parents go through this.) We are 7 short weeks away from our due date, and although the chances are slim that a problem could arise, I am ready to jump in the car and be back to DC in less than 3 hours.

I just got off the phone with my lovely wife however and all is fine. Tomorrow I will be back in town and all will be right with the world again. Also our friends Mikki and Kelly are at the hospital now and will welcome their daughter Bailey into the world soon. We have the honor of "guest" posting their happy news when we hear from them.

So...here's a whole lot of positive energy to Our Little Honey!!!! -Monica and Susanne

abc@defghi.jkl

Remember in the old days (like 10 years ago) when companies would start out small and give employees e-mail addresses like sue@coolcompany.org? Then they’d hire another Sue. Then there would be Sue1 and Sue2 and then Sue3…hmmm…soon there were problems. So they’d have to totally revamp the e-mail system to add last names which meant you had to tell all your business contacts your new info. There weren’t even aliases so the “bad” old address would get forwarded to your new address. Fun!

So the new protocol was “first initial.lastname@...” This also presented problems when the organization got too big. Because even though they'd make you start being 1, 2 and 3 etc...again, no one rememberd that and they'd just type in the persons first initial and last name and send, send, send. When I worked for an international organization there was a country director working half way around the world who had my same first initial and last name, and let me tell you, I got some e-mails that were really meant for that guy’s eyes only. Confidential stuff that his volunteers really thought they were sending to him. I’d of course forward them on to him, but it was really not cool at all.

Also then if someone was named Cindy Hill she’d end up with an address like chill@xyz.com. Sam Tinker would be stinker@xyz.com, or true story, my friend whose first name started with a “B” with last name Allgood became Ballgood@xyz.com. Needless to say she REALLY, REALLY didn’t like that. Anybody else have any funny ones?

I wonder if one day we’ll just look in a camera and think of the person we want to send an e-mail to, and it will magically get to them.? Or, what the heck, skip the writing the e-mail part. Yeah, I’m looking forward to the future. ;-) -Monica

New traditions waiting to be born...

I was thinking this morning about all of the fun ways that family traditions from both my family and Susanne’s family will come together for our baby. I guess that’s the way it usually is with families but since I’ve never been a parent before I’d never really thought much about it until today.

When Su was a child, on her birthday she always had a present waiting for her on the breakfast table on that special day. There was cake and other stuff later too, but that was her fondest memory. What a neat idea—I can’t think of a better way to start a birthday!

For me, my favorite birthday memory was that the birthday kid (there were 7 of us) would get to go to Snyder’s Drug store with our dad on our birthdays, after he got home from work. I think there was some sort of price limit ($5.00?) or something, but we could pick out whatever we wanted from the toy aisle within that limit. Being one of so many, it really was a treat to get to ride with JUST dad (ie…no other kids) all the way to the next town over and then experience the rapture of picking out whatever we wanted. That trip to Snyder’s will always be a wonderful memory for me.

Since there were 9 total people with mom and dad, square Pepperidge Farm cakes which very easily cut into 9 equal pieces, were also a part of our tradition. The birthday kid got to pick the flavor. Chocolate with chocolate frosting. Some things never change ;-)

So, I think our baby is going to luck out. A breakfast surprise AND the special trip to the store. And just because our baby will have two moms rather than a mom and a dad? Doesn’t seem to be a deal breaker as far as I can tell. We’ll ask the baby in a few years okay? Have a great day everybody. -Monica

Brought to you by the letter "e"

Greetings friends and family. Hope it’s a nice day wherever you are. Here in DC it’s a gorgeous day. 70 degrees and sunny. Today Susanne and I went to the Birthing Center for a checkup and she is officially 33 weeks pregnant! Everything was fine at this morning’s visit and it won’t be too much longer before we become parents. We can’t wait!

Su is finally getting some relief from the hip pain she’s been experiencing at night. She’s gone to a chiropractor several times now who is specially trained to work with pregnant women. The doc also has 5 children of her own so that give her a bit of credibility right there too ;-) The first recommendation was to get a wedge pillow to support Su's belly while laying on her side. That has helped a lot, as have some of the other stretches and manipulations.

The best trick Su has discovered through, is laying on her side and letting her top leg drop off the side of the bed a little bit. She really can’t roll off, but this position stretches her hip right where she needs it. Here’s to sleeping through the night! (Well almost through the night. Nature does call you know—and not just for the pregnant one ;-)

Let’s see? What else is new? Um…the letter “e” on my keyboard is fading away. I find this interesting as all the other letters look fine. Do I use the “e” so much more than the other letters? Do I strike it particularly savagely? Hmmm…?

Did you know that the keyboard that we all know and love today could be much more efficiently laid out? Instead of typing 70 wpm we could all type 150. But will we learn the new system? No way. We like the way we do it now. Do you know why the letters are located where they are on keyboards? You see, back in the old days when you’d type, a metal rod with the letter embossed on it would rise up and strike the paper. (There was messy ribbon involved too.) Anyway, often these rods would get jammed up and you’d have to stop and “unstick” them to continue typing. So someone figured out the most commonly used letters and placed them strategically so that they’d be coming from the ends of the typewriter rather then the center which caused fewer letter collisions. This was like 100 years ago (I’m guessing on that number).

Again, if we would be open to learning a new way to type, we could be much more efficient. Of course if we in the U.S. were really open to being efficient, we’d use the metric system too. Just another example of doing things the way we always have.

On the bright side, even if my letter “e” fades away to nothing, my brain still knows exactly where it is ;-) -Monica

Baby Shower Fun

Well this weekend Susanne and I were delighted be treated to a baby shower by our friends Bob and Nancy. They invited a circle of friends whom I'd met about 6 years ago when I participated in a group called Always Our Children at a local Catholic Church. Most of the people in the group were parents of gay children and came every month to talk about their experiences and feelings and to talk about ways to deal with the Church's attitude toward homosexuality. Although most were parents of gay children a few of us were gay adults and it was a wonderful forum to talk and process what we were all going through.

I came to treasure these wonderful people--they loved their children so tremendously and yet really needed to reconcile what they'd always learned about homosexuality with what was going on in their children's lives. They say that when a parent finds out their child is gay, they often go through stages of grief. They have suffered the death of the dreams they had always had for their kids and are terrified for their well-being, safety, and sometimes for their immortal souls. So these folks had some difficult things to deal with and I consider their kids exceptionally lucky that their parents worked through their feelings and have always embraced their kids even when it was hard to do so.

I got involved in the group because a gay friend who worked with me attended the group, and encouraged me to go too. I'd realized I was gay, but was really frustrated by my church who wanted me to be who God created me to be, but couldn't accept that that could mean being gay. I was angry at my church's discounting of who I was, and being able to share with these wonderful people helped me tremendously. (I've since left the Catholic Church and Su and I are members of a very affirming Lutheran Church now.

When I met Susanne my Always Our Children friends were thrilled. And yesterday to be surrounded by such genuine love while holding the hand of my beautiful, pregnant wife I felt so peaceful. We heard what was going on with all of their children--both their gay and straight children. They got us wonderful gifts of toys and clothes for our child and I guess I found myself wishing that all gay people could experience what we did yesterday. We'll see them all again at our baby's baptism and I know that the light they shared with us yesterday will be with us again then.

On a different note, I'd meant to blog about a funny thing from last week. We were on our flight to Minnesota and two 12 or 13 year old girls were in the seats across the aisle from us. They had a laptop computer and a word document open with a pretty large font. They SILENTLY had conversation the entire trip. One would type then turn the computer to the other and she would reply--in writing. They were both really fast and accurate typists by the way and we could easily see what they were writing. Stuff like

"Who do you think Rachel should go out with? Tom or Teddy? I see her more with Teddy because he likes to go out and do stuff and Tom is just too lazy I think. Do you want to get ice cream when we land? I luv the rocky road stuff."

It was hysterical. They even wrote LOL for Laughing out Loud which you'd think might make them actually laugh out loud, but it didn't. Yes, we are definitely looking forward to those 'tween years. Oh my gosh, I just LOLed. Out Loud. Really! ;-) -Monica

Experiments are good

Hmm...can you put a chart into blogger? I'm thinking of setting up a site to keep all my Peace Corps buddies appraised as to who is coming to our reunion this summer and thought a chart would be perfect. Let's see....


This chart is a test

If I can copy and paste


I want to see





Into Blogger

Ummm....obviously my experiment was sort of a failure. Onward and upward. I'll make lists instead! -Monica

And we're back...

We had a good time in Minnesota. Fun with family, wonderful music (my sister’s Sweet Adeline quartet AND the fabulous Celtic Woman) and a chance to meet little Johanna who is my niece’s 3 week old daughter. She’s a cutie pie and seeing and holding her makes me even more excited to soon become a mom!

Su handled the flying very well though we are glad we planned a direct flight rather than one of our typical budget-shopping multiple-leg flights. We’ll fly once more to our friend Emily’s wedding in Kansas in early May and after that we’ll be traveling for three! (If we think we have to pack a lot of stuff now...well...)

We were home with my mom the day that the horrific murders happened at Virginia Tech, glued to the TV. What a nightmare. I can't imagine what it must have been like to be there. I have lots of other thoughts on the media "armchair quarterbacks" and our health care system particularly in regard to mental health, and gun laws, but I think I'll keep them to myself right now.

I pray for peace for the victims of these senseless murders and for the family of the murderer who I'm guessing could never have imagined this. Who in his right mind could? -Monica

Pretty as a Picture...

Well I just had to post this picture. You may have noticed that we don't put many pictures of ourselves up, but I figured this one would serve the dual purpose of showing off how beautiful my wife is, AND showing the adoration of Harley the wondercat.

So even though some might say the bright glow about his eyes comes from the reflection of his name tag as the sun strikes it just so, I disagree. I swear so Harley reminds me more of a dog than a cat in the way that he adores her. There is no "aloof" in this cat when she is in the room.

I think Susanne looks beautiful in this picture. A couple of weeks have gone by since I took it, so our baby is dominating the spotlight even more now. It's truly a beautiful thing to witness.

Let's see? What else? Oh right. We were watching the Nationals game last night on TV (they actually won!) and at one point the announcer mentioned that some guy was on the DL.

Now I've followed baseball for a long time, so I know all about the Disabled List, but I've got to say, for a split second I thought that the announcer was saying that this guy was on the Down Low. And I swear I don't watch very much Oprah or Dr. Phil!

Have a great weekend everyone. -Monica

Celtic Women

Our dear mother turned 75 this month and my two sisters have done a marvelous job of making sure that it's a birthday to remember. Months ago Alice had the idea of getting tickets to go see Celtic Women performing live. Mom LOVES them and has only seen them on TV.

This plan soon morphed into me and Susanne traveling to join the fun, so next week basically a whole bunch of Celtic Women will go see the Celtic Women. My sister Mary and her eldest daughter have seen to all of the dinner plans before the show and it sounds like it's going to be a fabulous night.

For those of you who don't know about the Celtic Women, here is what Wikipedia says:

Celtic Woman is a musical ensemble comprised of five Irish and one New Zealand female. The group's repertoire ranges from traditional Celtic tunes to modern songs. To date, the group has released three albums, Celtic Woman, Celtic Woman: A Christmas Celebration and Celtic Woman: A New Journey, and have undertaken a number of world tours. The foundation for Celtic music's popularity outside of Ireland and Europe was previously set by artists Enya and Clannad, along with stage shows Riverdance and Lord of the Dance. To this end, Celtic Woman has been referred to as "Riverdance for the voice".

Get ready to dance ma--with your voice that is ;-) Happy Birthday Mom. See you soon! -M

P.S. And we get to see two week old little Jojo!

Ode to Harley

Take special note of the the fear of vacuum cleaners. And the barf gland. And the adoration of just one spot on the bed. And...

Hallo!

When I went to Guatemala in 1987 as a Peace Corps Volunteer I couldn’t really speak any Spanish. It was pretty painful, but after three months of intensive language training I headed out to the little town of Quezaltepeque and was able to ask things like “where is the bathroom?” and “how much does that food cost?” You know, the basics. It definitely got better over the two years I was there, but I remember how hard it was to learn.

So now flash ahead to 2007. My wonderful partner Susanne is gifted at foreign languages. In addition to speaking fluent Spanish (when we went to Guate a few years ago she was mistaken as being Guatemalan once—I am comforted by the fact that it must have been her dark hair that fooled them while my red hair was a dead give-away that I was not really Guatemalan. Oh and her Spanish is excellent while mine is now sort of good.)

Anyway, where was I? Oh yes, Susanne is also a native German speaker. When she was three her family moved to the U.S., so in reality she’s a native speaker of English too, but when she talks with her family it’s pretty much in German. In fact when we are in Germany, it’s assumed she is a local based on how fluent she is. But I’m not jealous of her adeptness at language. Definitely not. ;-)

So since we met, I’ve been immersed—sort of—in German. I hear her end of the phone conversation and can usually tell the story she is telling because I caught one word of it. And I can say endearing things like “good morning my little sleepy hat!” (yes they say “hat” not “head”. So cute.) But I’m always asking how to say things and Susanne is forever patiently explaining AGAIN, how to say what I asked her about last week AGAIN. I think my brain may be full.

So…our thought is that our baby will learn Spanish and German and English. And if that’s the case I’m going to have to get better at German. So I’m trying out a few new phrases. But Susanne’s not cooperating in teaching me how to say them. For instance… “your turn honey” or “the baby’s crying honey”, or that old standby, “what? I can’t hear you honey!”

Maybe our child will teach me in a few years! Guten Tag jeder. ( I love Babel Fish!)

Springtime is in the air...

Well, we survived the super cold temperatures at the baseball game on Friday night, but our poor Nationals are abysmal this year. It's still fun to go to the games though.

Today we had an orientation to the new birthing center where we'll be giving birth, and one thing they do which is kind of neat is group the families who are all expecing at the same time into sort of communal meetings. Each pregnant woman has her regular visit a Certified Nurse Midwife, but then everyone gets together to discuss what's going on. We both really like this concept and it's neat to form connections with others who are in the same time frame that you're in. Today was a general orientation so the people we met today are all due at different times (it was a first visit for all), but from now on we'll be with other June moms. Fun.

Spring is really trying to spring here in DC. the leaves are green, the flowers are in bloom. It's just really, really cold. Hopefully this will get better very soon. Alrighty then. Back to whatever it was I was doing. Onward and upward!

P.S. Happy Birthday Grandma!

To Do...

1. Find a new birthing center. Check.
2. Post something to our blog. Check.
3. Have a nice Easter weekend with my family (Susanne and baby.) Will do.

So I heard someone this morning say they had a 2 month old. Does that mean I can start saying I have a – 2 month old? (Or does that just sound like I have a 2 month old who is sort of negative? ;-) Maybe it sounds better if I say it aloud? "I have a minus 2 month old!" No. Not gonna work. Grrrr...

We toured a local birthing center yesterday and are pleased with what we saw and learned. Looks like that loose end is tied up which is quite a relief.

In a few hours we’ll be heading to the Washington Nationals baseball game. Weather predictions are for rain and snow showers this evening. Cold. Low 28F. Winds N 5-10 mph. Chance of precipitation 80%. It might be fun. We might be the only ones there! Happy Easter everyone! -M

P.S. What are the odds that a St. Bernard will come through the stadium with hot chocolate?

Skoal!

I was reading an article in the Washington Post about a local 97 year old who decided that it was time to get the high school class ring she’d always wanted. Yes, you read that right. She's 97 and graduated in 1937. It’s a really sweet article, and I was thinking about when I graduated from high school I didn’t really care about getting a class ring, but what I really loved was my kelly green letter jacket.

Gosh, I loved that coat. It had all kinds of emblems and stuff on it and as the years went by I could add new things like additional letters for sports and stuff like “choir” (yes we could add our choir patches.)

This all made me think of how funny it would be if federal agencies were like high schools. Employees could get letter jackets and affix stuff to like their credentials or performance appraisals scores. Can you imagine? Hey there? I see you are CISCO certified. Dude!

Of course each agency would have to have a mascot too. I think NASA could be the Astros and the USDA the Packers. NOAA would be the Hurricanes and the FAA would of course be the Flyers. Hmmm...the DOT Racers? The U.S. Fire Administration Flames? Should I really go on? Have a nice day y’all! -M

The sociology of a bit of cloth

Dinner with friends M&K last night was delightful as always (although a bit stressful for my sweetie trying to get through DC traffic on "peak Cherry Blossom day". ) But once we were all together we engaged in nonstop laughing. Then this morning I got to sleep in a bit. I had to report for jury duty you see and was very excited to be excused very early on without having to even go before the judge for selection like last time. What a relief!

If you're wondering why I've posted the picture I have here, it's because when I was on the train today I found myself staring at and thinking about the ties men wear. I wrote yesterday about dressing little boys up in suits and so today I got to thinking about the utility (or lack thereof) of ties today.

I've decided that since men tend to be stuck in a uniform (at least if they work in offices in places like DC) their tie is sort of the last resort for adding creativity and style. But I also think that ties for men are kind of like the breast feathers on male birds. They broadcast something--men actually seem to preen at times as they adjust their ties before speaking.

I worked with two men in my agency who were fairly senior level. One, whom I'll call Jim, spent a ton of money on his clothes and wore things like braces (never ever call them suspenders.) His buddy George on the other hand bought his clothes at a department store off the rack (apparently this was unfathomable to Jim). Anyway, someone once commented that Jim spent more on his ties than George spent on his suits. The funny thing was that they were both offended but for different reasons. Too funny.

There was a commercial for the Washington Post "personals" a few years ago where a man and a woman end up at her door after what appeared to be a successful first date. She seductively grabs his tie to pull him closer for a kiss. But alas...it was a clip on and it snapped off in her hands. You should have seen the look of horror as she turned and fled. Again, I guess there must be something in men's ties that broadcast something.

I actually learned how to tie a man's tie when I was a kid. I rememeber watching my dad put his on every day and it seemed pretty easy so I asked him to show me. I practiced it a few times and I realized it was easy. I've never worn a tie--I apparently avoided Madonna and Cyndi Lauper for that week in the 1980s although I think that there is photographic evidence that I did have an ascot in 4th grade.

But on the day of my dad's funeral nearly 5 years ago, my youngest brother admitted to me that he didn't know how to tie a tie. He's always worked with his hands and just somehow avoided having to ever wear one. I took the tie he'd borrowed and put it around my neck to get it started, then put it over his to make it fit right. Neil looked so grown up and handsome. It was quite touching for me I could almost picture my dad watching this whole scene. Of course that might have been just the tears that we were both crying.

So in review. I don't really understand why men have to wear ties. I do think they can look really nice, though but I'm sure that I'd sure hate to wear one every day. And lastly, "preen" is a really funny word. -Monica

Our little…

Susanne and I were talking this morning about how little boys and little girls are socialized so differently in our society. Think about how little boy outfits are all about sports or trucks while little girls outfits are more along the lines of Strawberry Shortcake and Barbie.

“Snips and snails and puppy dog tails” are what little boys are made of while little girls are made of "sugar and spice and everything nice." Or so they say...

I was thinking about the phrase “my little man”. You hear this often enough especially when someone has dressed a little boy in a miniature coat and tie or other such "adult" clothes. It sounds so cute to make him into our little man. With girls? When dressed up we may call her “my little lady” (which sort of seems so prim and Victorian) but never “my little woman.” Is it because if a little girl dresses like an adult she is sexualized, but if a boy dresses like an adult he is not?

Hmmm….I’ll have to think more about this. I'd like to think that we’ll raise either a son or a daughter in the same way, but I’m not sure that is possible. And what is a snip? I should definitely find out if we end up with a boy right ;-) -M

Wahoo!

Today is April 2, 2007 and I have at least 5 reasons to be grateful.

5. Friend Jill sent us the CUTEST little colorful ladybug mobile for the baby's crib. It's perfect in the nursery!
4. It's opening day for the Nationals (and 75 degrees and sunshine!) We'll be there.
3. After the game a bunch of us are barbequing!
2. The baby was making us both laugh last night as he or she seemed to demand to find out what was so funny on America's Funniest Home Videos. The question came in form of little kicks!
1. My sweet Susanne is feeling much better--seems like her cold is just about over. Wahoo!!!

P.S. The pic above is of RFK stadium and our seats are right about here on the third base line. Play ball!

Tis the season

So as much as my darling Susanne loves me, here is the true picture of what she's been reaching for late at night in bed.

Yes, she's "somehow" acquired a nasty headcold. You see I was MISERABLE all last week, and just when I finally started to feel better, she started getting the sniffles. The sniffles are now the SNIFFLES! I do carry a certain amount of guilt over this.

We've been running the humidifier at night which has made our room into a veritable steamy jungle (we do have many plants) and we're hoping she can recover without having to take any medications.

In our developing birth plan, one of my jobs is to NOT suggest pain medications (she can ask for them at any time, but I'm not to encourage it.) I'm not so sure I'll be any good at this though based on how many times I've asked her if she wants cold medication (the safest kinds.)

Get better soon honey. I hate to see you so miserable. Love, Monica

P.S. Just to give you an idea of the magnitude of our colds, last week while walking near a gaggle of tourists in an underground Metro tunnel, I blew my nose and a startled child who couldn't see me behind her asked "mommy, is that an elephant?"

Once in a Blue Moon

"Once in a blue moon" means very rarely, because it’s unusual that a full moon will occur twice in one calendar month. So whenever two full moons do occur in the same month you call the second one a "blue moon". Turns out that this May we'll have two full moons—one on May 2nd and the second on May 31st.

Our little one is due to make his or her entrance into the world on or around June 11th. I think it would be really cool if the baby could speed things up and come along on May 31st. Wow, a blue moon baby. Seems very “when the moon is in the 7th house, and Jupiter aligns with Mars” don’t you think? Not sure I'd like the initials our kid would have if we called him Blue Moon though. BM. Hmmm....

Susanne probably likes this idea better than my other brilliant idea though, which is to have the baby wait until July 7th to make an appearance. 07/07/07. Now that’s a cool birthday huh? We’d have to name the baby Septima or Septimo though right? ;-) -Monica

Formation

Now that's a word you don't hear very often. Formation. When I was right out of college I got a job teaching at a wonderful Catholic high school in MN. The nuns often spoke of the formation that the girls underwent as they went through their 4 years of high school. During this time so many things happened in their lives and in their development--mentally, physically and spiritually. I was only 21 when I started teaching so my 9th graders were only 7 years younger than me which is pretty funny in retrospect. I didn't know it at the time, but I would only teach there 4 years before leaving to join the Peace Corps. So in some respects I went through a formation too.

My "kids" are now in their late 30s. I've kept in good touch with many of them. They are doctors and lawyers and television producers and everything in between. They have wonderful children who I get to see when I go "home" to see my family in MN. And I'm thinking about them today because I keep thinking about the formation I've been undergoing for the past many months. I feel like it's not just our baby gestating and growing in Susanne's womb...in many respects I feel like I'm changing too. I can't explain it except to say that it's all good. Formation doesn't have to be a painful tug or twist. Sometimes it's just the gentlest of notions. That's all for now. I've got to think a bit more about this. -Monica

Surfing SUH

So last night the baby wasn't just kicking. He/she was dancing with broad sweeping motions--sort of like the waves of the ocean. I, of course, found it fascinating.

Susanne? Fascinated isn't quite the word she'd probably use to describe it--especially when she'd finally found an oh so comfortable position. We are not complaining mind you.

Tonight we go to our Birthworks class again. Should be a very interesting discussion considering that half us us have to find another place to have our babies since our birthing center is closing. What are the odds of a place being open for 25 years but suddenly closing with little notice 11 days before we are due? See, this is why I never bet on anything ;-) Have a great day everyone. Today is 70s and sunny in DC and I can't wait to finish up and get outside. -Monica

Introducing Johanna Nicole

Hi everyone. No pictures yet of our newest family member, but last night around 1:15 my niece Tara gave birth to her third child--little Jojo. She was 7 lbs 4 oz, and 20 inches long. Her big sister 6 year old Cassie tells me she has dark hair and some red spots on her face cuz she got "pushed out". Yup. That sounds about right. We are delighted that all came out well and Johanna appears to be healthy and strong.

Back at the home front, Susanne and I went in for her 28 week check up this morning and she had to do the glucose challenge test. We'll hear in a day or two if the blood tests show any gestational diabetes or anemia but we are hoping for the best. The baby's heart was beating away at 130 bpm--quite within the normal range but on the low side of it which made our midwife remark that folk lore has it that boys usually have the lower heatrates. We'll see. We are feeling more and more like it's a girl but we figure we have a 50-50 chance of being right whatever we guess ;-)

Speaking of 50-50 chances...I took a prep class all last week on Project Management and on Friday took a 200 question test which through the grace of God I passed and I am now a Project Management Professional or PMP. The best part is I never have to take the test again. I'm relieved it's over and glad that I passed the test.

Since I wasn't keeping up with my e-mail all week it wasn't until after the test on Friday that I noticed that we'd gotten several e-mails from friends about the fact that our Birthing Center is now going to close before we deliver. What a bummer. High malpractice insurance costs and the fact that they don't get reimbursed well by insurance costs led to the decision. We are now exploring other options, but are not going to get too stressed out by this. We can continue our pre-natal care there for now. Life just tosses you lemons sometime so you have to make lemon chicken I guess.

That's all for now. Hope all are well and that wherever you are, spring is in the air. -Monica

Bring it on! (The weekend that is)

Ah yes. Friday. What a wonderful word it is no? I guess that it wouldn’t make a very good baby name, but none the less, it makes me happy. This weekend Su and I have lots going on—buying a gift for a friend who is getting married soon, painting some furniture, getting more things for the nursery and also preparing for Su’s aunt and uncle from Europe to arrive. They’ll stay for a week and they are the best kind of visitors. They already know what they want to see, they can independently find their way to those things, and they are just overall very fun.

One wonderful thing they are doing is bringing the baptismal gown that all of the children on Susanne’s mom’s side have been baptized in for generations. It will be wonderful to see our child carry on, and enter into, that beautiful family tradition.

Having family visit won’t keep me from blogging much next week, but the week-long class and Project Management test I’ll be taking next week most likely will. So…if you don’t hear from us til next weekend, don’t worry. All is well. Hasta la vista! -Monica

Deep (but quick) thought...

Doh! I’ve got to get going and I forgot to blog today. Will anyone miss us?

What I’m trying to say is, “if a blog stagnates in cyberspace and no one is there to read it, does it really stagnate?”

Isn’t “stagnate” a great word? Although I must admit my favorite word is “murmur”.

Oh, look at the time. Until tomorrow. -Monica

Let's review...

1. Eat well

2. Stay hydrated

3. Plan your work, then work your plan

4. Stretch properly

5. Be aware of your breathing

6. Keep track of everything

7. Relax

8. Pace yourself

9. Remember what you learned

10. Envision the glorious finish!

Wow, this sounds so much like everything I did to prepare to run my one and only marathon in 2001.

But it also sounds like everything we are learning in our birthing class.

Huh...maybe all we really need to know we learned in kindergarten! -Monica

Drumroll please...

We present, at the ripe old age of 27 weeks of gestation, our son or daughter who is shown here at yesterday's sonogram---yawning. We'd gone back for this sonogram because last time the baby was in a transverse postition making it hard for them to see some views of the heart, and we were thrilled to learn yesterday that all the heart views they saw this time were just fine.

In addition to seeing the heart beating away at 145 bpm, we were excited to see our little June Bug yawning and yapping away (the technician even drew a little arrow where you can see the baby's open mouth. Susanne wondered aloud how our little one could seemingly have my talkative genes without any direct genetic connection ;-) Just lucky I guess!!!

We had a much better technician this time and explained to her how disappointed we'd felt with our previous experience and true to her word she told us what we were seeing at all times.

On the home front we are FINALLY done with our room renovations with the last bits of shoe molding going in on Sunday. We set up the crib and darn if that little room isn't starting to look like a nursery. Fantastic. Maybe we'll post a photo or two later. But nothing can beat the photo on this post. Have a great day everyone! -Monica (and Susanne)

A new favorite sport!

So last night we tried a new idea we’d just read about. You put a piece of tissue paper on the pregnant woman’s belly and you can really detect every little movement. It was fascinating. When our cats sit on the window sill all day watching the birds we call it “television for cats”. When I lay on the bed watching a tissue paper on Su’s belly for an hour we call it “better than television!”

It was really fun! Then my mom called from Minnesota and I told her all about it. She had 7 babies so certainly experienced her share of kicking. When I told her about this fun new sport she perked up right away and said she had fond memories of our kicks too—she’d put her ashtray on her belly and watch it pop around. Ugh…

In her defense, they didn’t know then that smoking was harmful. I wonder if years from now people will marvel at the things we didn’t know. Like 20 years from now our kid saying "Moommm, I can’t believe you used to clean your ears out with Q-Tips when you were pregnant with me!” You never know ;-)

Anyway, to close today I want to include a link to a fun little spoof video called Greaser Babies. (As in "is the word, is the word..." Set in a day care center. My favorite is “You’re the Baby I Want!” Enjoy! –Monica

Play Ball!

In spite of our chilly weather here in DC my thoughts have turned to baseball! I’m not a rabid fan or anything, but Susanne and I have enjoyed going to about 10 Washington Nationals games a year with friends, and look forward to bringing our baby with us when we attend games this summer.

Baseball holds a special place in my heart. As a kid growing up in MN I was a Twins fan. Tony Oliva, Cesar Tovar, Harmon Killebrew…I loved them all. I remember watching games on TV with my sister Alice, and once every summer our little park and recreation center would bring a busload of kids to Met Stadium. You’d better believe we were on that bus.

A perfectly groomed ball field is a splendor to behold I think. What’s the best harbinger of springtime? The crack of a bat I say. Apparently this love of baseball skipped a generation with my parents because they weren’t very interested in it, but both our maternal and paternal grandmothers (Dodgers and Red Sox fans respectively) used to follow the game too, keeping track on scorecards while hunched over their little radios.

The reason I started thinking about baseball is that the book I’m reading now had a little paragraph about a character feeling successful and how it felt like slamming a home run and rounding the bases in a victory trot—thousands of eyeballs basking you with glory. I played fastpitch softball through high school and college, but there was no leisurely trotting. You see there were no fences. I could tag the ball but then I had to run like a mad woman to stretch it into a homerun, usually with a close play at the plate. And I wonder why I’m anxious a lot ;-) Yes, I definitely think trotting while basking is a far better way to do it.

Baseball is a great analogy for life. Sometimes you nail the pitch and, crap, it is right at someone. You’re out. Other times you hit this embarrassing blooper and it drops for a hit. Go figure. But no one every tries to hit bloopers. You’re always trying to connect, and I think that’s true about life. In Spanish you call an outfielder a “gardener” (jardinero) cuz all you do is stand out there in the grass. So there is a relaxation element as well.

And baseball is the only major sport without a clock. Nothing artificial impacting the outcome. And whether you’re on offense or defense you’re always thinking—strategizing. You get to use physical strength and grace together with strategy and courage.

I hope that love of baseball doesn’t skip a generation with our baby. Oh…I know what song I’m going to sing to Su’s adorable belly tonight! -Monica

Read(y) or not

Our Birthworks class was very fun last night. We met 10 other people who are all expecting babies soon too. The instructor did a great job of putting us through a process to get to the heart of what some of our overall fears and thoughts are about birth and delivery.

Su and I have both read and discussed some things but we definitely learned some new and interesting things last night and look forward to the next sessions. The other folks in the class seem really nice and traditionally the group meets one last time after the final baby is born so all the parents and kids can celebrate. What a cool idea huh?

One of the things we all first individually wrote down and then debriefed were those things that relax us. Su and I both had reading listed near the very top and not surprisingly, I included on my list listening to music while Su listed listening to NPR. Oh horrors if she gives birth on a Sunday since all we get is "Stained Glass Blue Grass" which neither of us really like. I promised her I’d download some podcasts of “This American Life” we’ve not heard before just in case ;-)

Anyway, on the way home we talked about reading. We are both usually in the middle of some sort of novel or mystery and if we are smart, when one finishes a book the other one reads it next so we can quickly return it to the library or put it in the box to donate. This works pretty well except for like this weekend when we were chatting at dinner and I said something like “I don’t really like the vigilante justice sort of books—like the one where the woman CIA director poisoned the…”

“STOP!” I think I saw her eyes say this before the word came out. It turns out that this was the very book she was in the midst of and hadn’t quite gotten to the poisoning part yet. Ooops!

Anyway, I shared with Susanne that my favorite place to be in a book is in the middle of it. That’s when I feel most engaged. I don’t like starting a book because I want to be hooked right away, and that doesn’t always happen. And I don’t like when I’m nearing the end of a book because I sort of feel like I’m mourning the fact that it will be over soon. I wonder if this is analogous to anything else in my life?

Something about taking this class is making us feel more and more like our baby is almost here. I just read on the Baby Center e-mail we get that the baby is about 2 lbs now and that it should more than triple its weight in the next 3 months. Pretty amazing. And a two pound baby of course means that our baby now weighs the equivalent of 8 Quarter Pounders with Cheese!

Huh, look at that. Lunch time already. And I’ve got myself a little “lunch date” with David Baldacci. Until next time everyone. -Monica

Life is But a Song...

So every day Susanne drops me off downtown and I walk about a quarter mile to my job cutting through Lafayette Park in DC. This is what I see every day, and every day I think about that time that will come when the current administration will say goodbye. (To which I’ll silently wish them good riddance.)

Well this afternoon I was invited to a luncheon for EMILY’s List where I got to hear speeches by several women senators including Amy Klobuchar from Minnesota, Clare McCaskill from Missouri, Hillary Rodham Clinton from New York and the Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi. They were all very good and I found myself wondering if people develop good speaking skills when they get involved in politics or if it's the other way around. Speaker Pelosi cracked everyone up when she said the question she gets asked most is what is it like being Speaker of the House.

“What’s it like being Speaker of the House? It’s FANTASTIC being Speaker of the House!” she quipped.

I loved it. I’ve never aspired to political office, and I’m not even sure yet who I’ll support for President in 2008, but in that room of over 1000 women this afternoon I felt really proud. Like if life were a musical everyone would have been singing a little of Helen Reddy’s “I Am Woman Hear Me Roar” and “Free to Be You and Me”.

I'm glad I got the chance to go and I think I'll hum those songs when I walk down Pennsylvania Ave. tomorrow! -Monica

Sweet!

Well operation “Celebrate Susanne’s Birthday in Style” was extremely successful. We relaxed, played Scrabble, dozed, read books, were surprised by a Fedex delivery of birthday goodies (you are the best M&K!), rested, cooked a delicious meal, slept some more, watched blue jays, cardinals and red-headed woodpeckers play, went to a rustic local restaurant, curled up in front of a roaring fire and were reminded again of why we fell in love with each other (all of these things in no particular order.)

We ended the weekend with a once in a lifetime treat of dinner at the Inn at Little Washington. If any of you have ever heard of it, you’ll understand why it’s a once in a lifetime treat. I personally had never heard of taking out a mortgage to pay for a dinner for two. (Just kidding—but barely.) It was truly very decadent, and we had a wonderful time. Happy Birthday sweetheart!

Now we are back to the real world and tomorrow will take our first childbirth class. It's a program called Birthworks and we are looking forward to it. The instructor is a lesbian woman who gave birth at the same birth center that we will and we think that bodes well for an affirming experience. We'll also enjoy meeting the others in the class who will be due around the same time we will. Talk about shared experiences eh? Which reminds me...

Special congratutions to Maverick-Mama whose link is on our side bar. Her son was born yesterday and we are very happy for both mom and her new son.

We got a comment from MermaidGrrrl about the "belly rubbing" phenomenon I posted about the other day. We totally agree. Some people just can't seem to help themselves--they just love the feel of new life. To life! -Monica

Another Pregnancy Milestone!

So Susanne had her first experience of a stranger rubbing her belly yesterday. She works at a social services organization where lots of clients come in for different services and a woman who was waiting to get into the medical clinic asked Susanne if she were pregnant.

“As a matter of fact I am” Su smiled.

The woman then rubbed Su’s belly and asked how far along she was. Su admits she was taken by surprise by this unexpected invasion of her abdomen. But the woman's intention was positive so Su felt okay about it. (Although if a man had done the same thing she’s not sure if she would have been so comfortable with it.)

Now back to the belly rubber's question. Su’s initial reaction was to say “25 weeks.” But who talks like that? (Those of us with these pregnancy tickers I think). Quickly she calculated.

“4 ½ months.”

“It’s a girl then!” the stranger proudly announced for all to hear.

Su told me all about this as we were driving to meet friends for dinner. “But honey”, I questioned her “you must be more than 4 ½ months no?”

We thought about the whole 2 week window thing whereby when you are two weeks pregnant you’re actually 4 weeks…it’s all so confusing. So…since the baby is due in early June and it’s now early March, we now think we are closer to being 6 months pregnant.

Hmmmm...we wonder if the fact that Su's farther along than she thought would have made this woman shout “it’s a boy then!” ? ;-)

Another funny thing about the belly rubbing incident is that Su was convinced that when clients finally started noticing she was pregnant she’d actually be asked “are you getting fat?” So this was much better!

Ah…tomorrow Su and I are heading for the hills to go to our favorite B&B. I can feel my blood pressure dropping already. It’s so wonderful. When you go to this place you have a gorgeous cottage all to yourself. The owner lives in a big house up the road a piece and other than that it's just you and Mother Nature. Such an incredibly romantic place with a wood burning fireplace, the sounds of the Shenandoah river outside our window, starry, starry nights, wonderful food and this weekend, a VERY special birthday to celebrate. Ahhhh…this could be the best weekend ever. Me and and the love of my life and our little place kicker. Life doesn't get much better than this. –Monica