Danny in the Windy City

While I was at a conference in June for work, Su and Danny had a great time exploring Chicago. What a fun city! Especially since my niece and her husband and 9 month old live there and were wonderful hosts. We'll definitely be going back. Danny was mesmerized and so were we. -Monica

Getting to "glowy"

Since announcing the news that we are expecting our second child at Christmastime, I haven’t written much about it. Why? Well let’s see? Danny keeps us going 100 mph, we are both extremely busy at work and, maybe after going through the miscarriage last year we are both a bit nervous. I’ve heard this described at “one foot in, one foot out”. You want to be happy and celebrate and be all “glowy” but then a tiny part of your brain keeps telling you to watch out.

On the brighter side, Su is entering her 16th week and we’ll actually start to see more definitive proof soon that baby number two is really planning to join us. We do periodically look at books and other info regarding how the baby is developing as these weeks roll along and, just like when Su was pregnant with Danny, once in a while I’ll see something that really gets me excited. Like today I read that at 15 weeks even though a baby’s eyes are still fused shut they can react to light—if you shined a flashlight on Su’s belly the baby would most likely turn from the light. That seems pretty real right?

I know that little ear buds are already formed so I’m sure he or she is turning away quite often from Danny squawking and other fun sounds ;-) By the way, we’ve decided that while “en utero” to call this baby our Crumpet. It comes from the fact that babies are measured “Crown to Rump” at this stage which always cracks me up.

Don’t worry. I looked up Crumpet to make sure there wasn’t some awful other meaning (besides delicious pancake like treats) and in fact, in Britain it’s said that it’s a nickname for someone who is intelligent and good looking. Whew. The proverbial "smart cookie".

Yup. We are getting a little more excited each day. Today our Crumpet should be about 4 inches long. Here is a pic that shows the development of a baby at 15 weeks. Cool huh?

True story

So this morning at breakfast Danny was acting both cranky and devilish. At one point he was sitting at the table screaming at the top of his lungs for no reason whatsoever.

"AH!"

"AH!"

"AH!"

We tried ignoring him. but we do have a row house and thought it pretty unfair to the neighbors to keep ignoring, so we then tried cajoling and distracting him...you know, everything in the book.

Finally I looked at him and said (perhaps a bit crankily)

"Danny, are we going to have to start paying Jenni double what we pay her to put up with this kind of behavior????"

His face transformed into utter sadness and despair.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" he sobbed and sobbed until I scooped him up and held him tight.

So Jenni, sorry to let you know that Danny seems to not favor this suggestion.

Or maybe he thinks we should pay you TEN TIMES what we pay you now.

God love him.

Sigh. I shouldn't be so hard on our little lamb. He was awakened in the night by loud thunder which really shakes him up. Unfortunately I haven't yet figured out how to stop the thunder. No wonder he woke up on the wrong side of the crib today. Any suggestions on how to help with this fear gentle readers? -Monica

'Nuf Said

Could I feel more tired this morning?

A word of advice to those dedicated to designing good public restrooms.

Supersonic hand dryers like this Dys*n's machine sound pretty much like Beoing 747s taking off, so maybe you could consider installing them as far away from the baby changing stations as possible?

Just a thought. -Monica

P.S. For those of you not familiar with these amazing hand dryers, you'll know what I'm talking about the first time you encounter one. Effective? Absolutely. Loud? Unbelievably!

-M

So sad

Yesterday I worked from home, but decided I needed to run down to my office to get some important papers I wanted to hand deliver to someone at another agency. Once I was done, I got on the Metro and headed home but for some reason I was curious to see some construction that was going on behind our house so I stayed on the Red Line for one extra stop to get a better view. Once I got to Fort Totten I simply got off my outbound train and crossed the platform to catch the inbound train back home.

About an hour or so later I got a CNN alert on my blackberry that there had been a train crash in DC on the Metro. What I saw on TV horrified me. A terrible accident between Fort Totten and Takoma Station. 70+ injuries and at least 9 dead. A train struck an idling train at full speed and the striking train basically ended up on top of the last car of the struck train.

You know, I remember that I was in the first car of the train I was riding yesterday and was thinking about how cool it was that there was a window behind the driver so you could see the driver and the track ahead. I thought how Danny would love it and silently filed away that next time we rode the Metro we'd sit in the first car so he could see everything.

Please keep all of the victims in your thoughts and prayers. Just regular people doing regular stuff. Just like all of us every day. -Monica

P.S. Danny keeps saying "choo choo uh oh" whenever he sees the TV or radio. He's so right.

Baby Goggles

Thank you to all who sent us happy notes and comments regarding the news of Su's pregnancy. We are really excited and, just like last time, I propose at least 7 new baby names every day, and Su vetoes them. But the baby has to have some sort of name so I remain optimistic! Actually we do have a few that we both like. It's funny when you have a kid and realize later that you couldn't imagine him or her with any other name. I think Danny is just right for our number one son. It just fits!

Speaking of Danny, he had a great time this weekend visiting his Pop Pop in Richmond and going to two different birthday parties (happy day Amanda and Oscar!) Tomorrow his Nana will fly back from Europe so he's going to be a pretty happy camper.

I had a thought this weekend being around so many families with children. I was watching the parents watching their kids. Of course a huge part of this watchfulness is safety. Wouldn't want to lose them or let an accident happen right? But there is another part of this watchfulness. It's pure pride in that child. Their beauty, grace, intelligence, elegance, strength...whatever you see. Cuz when that kid is yours, you see it all.

I think it's like we all have "baby goggles". And unlike "beer goggles" we never wake up the next day wondering why we ever thought the object of our admiration was so cute.

Baby goggles. A permanent door prize of parenthood. I submit for your inspection Exhibit A. Have a great day everybody! -Monica

Most Wonderful Time of the Year…

Want to know a secret? Of course you do. Who doesn’t want to know a secret?

Ok. Here’s a hint.

What’s light and sweet and makes Su gain weight?

What’d you guess? Angel food cake? Gelato? Pop Rocks?

Well, technically although all are good answers (and are making me hungry) I have a better answer.

A LITTLE BROTHER OR SISTER FOR DANNY!

Yes, we’ve been holding out. We found out in mid April that Su was pregnant, but decided not to tell a soul until we saw the baby’s heartbeat on ultrasound at 6 weeks.

With a huge sigh of relief we immediately called our parents, and over the past few weeks have shared our happy news with a few friends.

Yesterday after visiting our midwife as we come to the end of the first trimester, and hearing the wonderful “thump, thump, thump” (160 bpm) of the baby’s heart, we decided to break our happy news here.

Su has been feeling pretty good—better then she remembers feeling with Danny. In fact it was getting to the point that we were both wondering if there was really a baby in there at all any more since she’s not showing and been feeling pretty goodl. So yesterday’s heartbeat was very exciting for the both of us.

Yes, this Christmas promises to be a great one. Due date Dec. 24th. Ho, ho, ho!!!

-Monica

Just call me Percy

Oh dear.

I never knew this before we had Danny, but apparently when I'm thinking deeply about something, or puzzled, I purse my lips.

I'd never noticed this before because I generally only look in a mirror to see if my hair is deranged or to see if my shirt is stained with toddler goo. I don't look long enough to see my mannerisms.

Recently though, Danny started pursing his lips. I thought it looked pretty silly so I sort of innocently asked Susanne where she thought he'd picked it up from.

“Oh.”

Puuuurrrrrsssseeeee. He's like a little mirror of me. Only way cuter! -Monica

Don't you ever miss the good old days?

Just to be clear. I'm NOT talking about being nostalgic for those good old days when Danny was a baby. I'm talking missing those good old days when I was a baby! How can it only be 2:00 now? Will my "to do" list ever end? -Monica

Found-one hollow leg

And this hollow leg is a perfect size for a two year old. Yes, Danny has been eating us out of house and home for going on two weeks now. I honesly pondered whether he'd eaten more in the past 14 days than he'd consumed in the past two years. Hmmm....I wonder if we'll see a growth spurt? If so, I figure he'll be about 5'6" tall when he gets home from Jenni's tonight ;-)

Sorry for the break in blogging. I had to go to Chicago for a week for work and Su and Danny joined me there. It was a lot of fun. But now I'm trying to get caught up on a zillion things. Ah life!

Have a great day everyone. I'll blog more when I get a chance tomorrow. Oh, and if you haven't been following the adventures of XBoxforNappy (see the bottom link on our sidebar) he and his wife just found out they are pregnant after more than two years of trying. He's a wonderful writer and will be a wonderful dad. Congrats Xbox. You know you really will need to trade in your Xbox for diapers now right? -Monica

File under the heading "huh?"

For a program I am involved in for work we decided to do a registration with the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office. So we did a lot of paperwork and then one day we got an official letter letting us know that it was now registered.

But here's the funny part. In order to maintain the registration for the full 10 years allowable, we have to file a declaration between the fifth and sixth anniversaries of the registration date...more mumbo jumbo...failure to file the required declaration by the end of the grace period will result in cancellation of the registration.

Okay, so in 2014, I have to remember to renew the paperwork. Does anyone out there remember that I have a slight case of the "anxieties"? Will my electronic calendar really send me a reminder like I asked it to?

Maybe I'll tie a little string around my finger. For the next five years. Hmmmm???? Maybe not. -Monica

Two year old stand up comedy...

Seriously. I'm working from home today and Danny and I were looking through the our recent pictures to select one to post, and when he saw this one he could no stop laughing. I think maybe it's because both he and the duck have bills. ;-) Come to think of it, that is pretty funny. (He is still laughing by the way!)

And I was especially pleased that he said pointed to Susanne's pic and said "mama" and to himself and said "me". Maybe the callling me "me" phase is over? Sure hope so. -Monica

I guess it is all about me…

So Danny has listened for months and months to the both of us saying “this is mama” and “this is mommy”.

But just to make doubly sure he got the difference we’d say it sort of affectedly like, “this is mama” and “this is momMY”.

Which if you think about it sounds exactly like “momMEEE!”

So now guess what his new name for me (mommy) is?

Yup.

Me.

Or rather MEEE!

So when he wants my attention or wants something from me he points my way and says ME.

You have no idea how confusing this can be. Oh Lord. I think I liked it better when I was Mamaca. -Monica

Danny and Oscar keeping it real...

Real fun that is!

Truth and Reality

(For the 4th annual Blogging for LGBT Families Day I'm posting an edit of a something I wrote earlier this year. Have a great day everybody!) -Monica

When we read stories to our two year old son Danny that have a mommy and a daddy in them, we always change the words to say mommy and mama instead. We read this idea in a book on gay parenting (sorry I can’t remember which) and think it makes great sense.

It is possible to find stories that talk about families having two moms or two dads, but they are pretty rare. Todd Parr’s “The Family Book” is a great example, but it’s the exception not the rule. You see, we want Danny to know that that even though our family is not the same as a lot of other kids’ families, it’s valid. It’s is true.

Truth. You may ask, “If you value truth, why would you lie to Danny by saying there are two moms when there are not? Isn’t he going to realize that you’ve been lying to him when he can read on his own?”

Well, let’s take a look at this concept of truth in our world. Remember the Brady Bunch? What a fun show! (I can only imagine how all those kids out there who had step moms and step dads loved that the Brady’s were all step siblings.)

But let’s peel our onion back a little further shall we? Robert Reed played Mike Brady. The quintessential wonderful father. He was so handsome, so wise. Go on--admit it--you loved him. He was a great dad. But in real life Robert Reed was gay. And closeted. He was not free to live a truthful life, much less portray a character that was true to himself on that show. Can you imagine if they’d done a show about two dads coming together to “form a family—that’s the way they all became the Brady Bunch”? Forget Mike and Carol! Go Mike and Darrell! No, that was not an option then. (Sadly, not even now I don’t think.)

And what about Maurice Sendak? He wrote a children’s story that is generally regarded as a classic of American illustrated children's literature--“Where the Wild Things Are”. Mr. Sendak came out of the closet when his partner of many years died in 2007.

He's been quoted as saying that he didn’t think he would have been a successful author, particularly of children’s stories, if people had known he were gay. So you know that our star of “Where the Wild Things Are”, little Max, did not have two same sex parents. Because even if Mr. Sendak would have loved to have written a story where he and his beloved partner were the parents in that tale, he could not have. "Society" would not have allowed that truth to be told."

So where was I going with this? Oh. Truth and reality. When Danny’s old enough we’ll explain to him why we changed “daddy” to “mama”. I think he'll understand that we wanted him to see that our world is not as "abnormal" as some might think. Quite the contrary actually. In closing I'll say that one thing that always rung true to me was the though that "our values, beliefs and behaviors are "caught" not "taught"." We'd like our son to "catch" an understanding of the world that is inclusive of all. And that's the truth! -Monica

In my dreams...

Our DC area just got something like 8 inches of rain this month and one happy result of this is that we've not had to water our vegetable garden beds at all. Everything is coming in beautifully, and this all got me to thinking that if Mother Nature can intercede like this and virtually eliminate a daily task for us, then mabye we should hope for more.

Like maybe a periodic mighty wind that could blow though the house and put everything back where it should be? And wash and fold the laundry too? I'm just being greedy right? -Monica

Thanks for my Kinderbike Pop Pop!

Danny's grandfather (Su's dad) got Danny a German balance bike for his birthday. It has no pedals so kids learn to run along to get some momentum then sit on their seat and learn to balance and ride.

He's just a tad too short for it yet, but at the rate he's growing he'll be off to the races soon. Of course this means he now has to wear a helmet which he is not crazy about. As you can see in the pic we need to do some more adjusting of the strap so it actually protects him.

As Danny would say "Tatoo Pop Pop." (Thank you Pop Pop.) -Monica

He's just the sweetest little thing!

Yep. Danny's the big "oh two" today. Happy birthday son! Here is a list of a few of our favorite things:

• he still says "OH!" instead of "yes" (it's so feaking adorable.)
• conversely he says "NO" quite clearly ;-)
• when he wakes up he likes to call out "Hi!" Over and over again. Again adorable.
• he loves to be outside. He calls it "bye" because that's what someone ususally says when they go outside.
• speaking of "bye" he likes to call his favorite purple blanky "bye" (or is it "buy" or "by"?) Don't know where that one came from.
• His sippy cup is his "bow" (sort of like bow-wow) We think he's sort of saying bottle.
• Airplanes and helicopters are still "cacas"

And then there are all the real words. Every day it's something new and even though he's not as talkative as some other kids he is extremely communicative. Now he's surprising us by thowing in some German words even though Su always feels like she doesn't speak to him enough in German. Believe me, if something is too hot to eat, it's "heiss".

Happy birthday little Daniel. You make us both so happy and proud. Kisses! Love, your moms.

Glasses Scene Investigation

So on Sunday I carefully put my new $200 pair of progressive lenses in their special case and left the case on my nighstand.

A few hours later I went to find them and was perplexed to see the case at the foot of the bed. Opening it, I was pretty unhappy to see that my glasses were not in it.

I suspected that toddler Danny had been doing some "exploring" when I wasn't looking. So I did some exploring of my own and spotted the glasses by the closet door. Whew.

Walking downstairs I joked to Su that I was going to do some crime scene analyis on the tiny finger prints all over the lenses to crack the case, and then realized that one of the lenses was perfectly clear.

Or as Su much more accurately put it, the lens was actually missing from the frame. OH NOOOOOOO!

Danny was napping (not that he would have been able to tell me where it was anyway) so I got down on all fours and tried to think like a two year old. I crawled everywhere. Everywhere I tell you. This went on for about 10 minutes. (Does anyone see the irony in looking madly for a lens when you can't see particulary well without the lens?) Anyway...

I found the lens about 12" (yes inches) from where I'd found the frame. It was undamaged.

HUGE sigh of relief.

My hero Susanne got the lens back into the frame.

HUGER sigh of relief.

I know there is a lesson learned in here somewhere. I'll know it when I see it. -Monica

It's raining, it's pouring, the old mommy's wetvaccuming...

We had a wonderful birthday party yesterday for Danny which I will write more about later. Unfortunately inclement weather casued us to move inside which was fine. But then throughout the night the inclement weather (aka torrential rains) drove all of our new mulch in the back yard down into our stairwell which clogged the drain. Rut Roh. The water welcomed itself into our basement via the gap at the bottom of the back door.

Thankfully our neighbors have a wet vac that we used to vaccum several gallons of water out of carpet. Also thankfully nothing of value was on the floor (except of course 2 boxes of kitty litter which are now two boxed of clumped kitty litter.) I am exhausted now. Do you know how many times you have to vacuum and vaccum to get that water up? Oh well.

What a memorable birthday number two Daniel! To end on a brighter note, this is a pic taken last week while visiting my mom in Minnesota. What a charmer this boy is right? -Monica

Remember

Another Memorial Day weekend. Stores will have sales, lots of burgers will be grilled, and some of us will visit the graves of loved ones who fought for their country.

You know, I hate war. I truly think that there are better ways of resolving conflict than to go to war. I never want my son to fight in a war—and honestly I don’t know too many mothers that do.

But all this being said I have the deepest respect for those who have served in the armed forces. When I was back in MN last week I visited my father’s grave and was reminded by the words on his headstone that he was a veteran. He fought in Korea. Technically it was not a war. There was no declaration of war—it was the “Korean Conflict”, but I think if you ask anyone who was there, they will tell you that it was a war. And it was hell.

Dad and I visited the Korean Memorial on the mall in the 1990s and he said it was really well designed because it was so near the airport. Every minute or so he’d hear another plane overhead and get startled again—“very experiential” he said. Looking at the life like images of the soldiers walking he was brought back in time. He told me it was so cold there. Many people think Korea is hot and sunny like Vietnam but it at a much higher latitude than that. While there we overheard a kid saying “what’s this Korean War thing?” My dad turned to him and said “didn’t you ever see *MASH?” Yep. That was my dad.

I remember a teenage boy in our neighborhood went off to Vietnam when I was a kid. He never came home. I remember thinking he was a real grown up—maybe 19 years old. In retrospect he was just a baby. How sad. I remember seeing his name engraved in the wall in Washington and I could just picture his mom. How do you really ever say goodbye?

I guess you just pay your respects. Here are some words from the original order that enshrined Memorial Day after the Civil war.

“Let pleasant paths invite the coming and going of reverent visitors and fond mourners. Let no neglect, no ravages of time, testify to the present or to the coming generations that we have forgotten as a people the cost of a free and undivided republic.

If other eyes grow dull and other hinds slack, and other hearts cold in the solemn trust, ours shall keep it well as long as the light and warmth of life remain in us.

Let us, then, at the time appointed, gather around their sacred remains, and garland the passionless mounds above them with choicest flowers of springtime; let us raise above them the dear old flag they saved; let us in this solemn presence renew our pledge to aid and assist those whom they have left among us a sacred charge upon the Nation's gratitude—the soldier's and sailor's widow and orphan.”

Happy Memorial Day everybody. And thank you to all who have served. -Monica

2 years old next week -- don't blink!

Wordless Wednesday

Awesome idea

So...if "they" can make seedless watermelon, do you think "they" can make poopless cats?

But, who are "they" anyway? ;-)

-Monica

So I'm thinking this morning that someone should invent a way that we can all get a vacation after our actual vacations so that we can recover from our vacations.

Except wouldn't that just be an endless cycle of vacations? I can think of worse things.

In closing, our 5 day visit to Minnesota was fabulous. Danny saw lakes and cows and and Chinese Dance and loved the Children's Museum. And since my family lives near the MSP airport, he also saw more "cacas" than he ever dreamed existed.

But Su and I are tired. And at work. I'm sorry, did I have a point? Will write more tomorrow. Have a lovely day everybody! -Monica

Doh! I Could Have Had an XY!

This morning in the letters to the editor of my favorite newspaper, a writer finished his rant over the horror of the possibility of same-sex marriage by writing:

“As for the argument that the supporters of the bill want only the same legal rights everyone else has, they already have it: the right to marry someone of the opposite sex.”

Oh My Gosh! How thoughtless of me. I could totally be legally wed right now if only I could live a lie and marry someone who is male. Brilliant! Yes, this living a lie thing must be the answer!

After all, I’m sure my lucky “Mr. Right” would not have any problem with the fact that I would not be attracted to him. And as a bonus for him, he’d get to spend his life with a very depressed me. Hmmmmm????? That is so not a pretty picture. But what else can I do?

Oh boy! I can’t wait to tell Susanne that even though she and Danny mean everything in the world to me, since I’d like the legal right to be married, I’m going to have to take off now and find myself a man. Golly, I’m sure glad I saw that letter to the editor this morning.

Wait. Hold on a dog gone minute. Now where did I read that living a lie wasn’t a very Christian way to live? Hmmmm??????

-Monica

Newspaper reading--a participatory sport

It was bound to happen. I grew up in a family where reading the paper at the breakfast table was a way of life. You know, stuff like "Oh My Gosh! Can you believe what this (fill in the blank) just wrote about (fill in the blank)?

Su is a more quiet reader, but it looks like our little Danny is going to hold his own just fine. This morning he grabbed the front page away from me and proceeded to "explain" what he thought of a picture of cars and people on bicycles. As you can see he is quite opinionated about everything. (He also liked the pics of the space shuttle.)

I may have to make sure he only sees the "Kid's Post" section and the funnies from now on. There was more than one picture this morning I needed to quickly cover up as he turned the pages. But I'm thrilled to see he likes the paper. Let's hope we still have papers to read in the years to come. -Monica

Before and after

He liked the clean shirt and the cold drink of water, but I think he would have passed on the whole 5 minutes of haircutting adventure if he'd had a choice. He did great, but the buzzing shaver was, how can I say this, not his friend.

But he looks so adorable right? -Monica

My name is...and I'm calling from the Internal Revenue Service

Yup, I just got a call from a guy and that's what he said. I happened to be in a meeting with several of my senior managers, but when my cell rang and showed "unknown caller", I stepped immediately to the side of the room to take the call.

You see, to me, "unknown caller" doesn't mean "unknown caller" it means "the police calling from the scene of the accident", or, I don't know, "the IRS".

Now why would I worry about the IRS? I'm very law abiding, do my taxes with the greatest of care, and am basically guitly of nothing. Nothing I know of at least.

That and a few years ago I got a letter in the mail from the IRS that said I owed $19,000 in back taxes for the previous tax year. It was all a big mistake because somehow money that was actually non taxable income from the sale of my house (we picked Susanne's house to keep) got reported as income to the IRS after I opened up some sort of investment annuity. I never really understood the whole mess.

After some calls it got straightened out, but I was on pins and needles waiting for that official letter to come absolving me of all culpability. I'm not one to bank on anything like "a guy named Norman told me on the phone on Friday that I don't have to pay that $19,000 and it's all a big mistake."

So back to today's call.

Yes, the gentleman was calling from the Internal Revenue Service. But he was calling to ask me about a program I run for my agency. Seems he wants to get some training and heard I could help him.

Wheewwwww. Am I breathing again yet?

-Monica

Four reasons to feel positively gay today!

From today’s National Public Radio

D.C. Council OKs Same-Sex Marriage Legislation

From today’s Bangor Daily News

Maine Governor Signs Same-Sex Marriage Bill

From today’s Washington Post

House Panel to Take Up Parental Leave Act

From today’s Government Executive Magazine

Tide May be Turning in Favor of Domestic Partner Benefits

A very nice weekend indeed

This weekend we had a great time. Danny's little friend Bailey turned two and her parents had a party at a place called My Gym. Happy Birthday sweetie--thanks for inviting us to your wonderful party! Danny had so much fun!

Anyway, while there, we were fascinated to see that his main interest was in grabbing a little basketball and trying over and over again to toss overhand into the child-sized basket. We can't quite figure out where he learned about basketball, but I must say I'm pretty excited about this development. I've played and coached my share of this fine sport, and can't wait to teach him how to pick and roll, shoot jumpshots and maybe play a little defense (that's the part I never really excelled at. ;-)

Oh, and this weekend we also learned an amazing bit of trivia about a miracle fruit. The miracle fruit plant (Synsepalum dulcificum) produces berries that, when eaten, cause sour foods (such as lemons and limes) consumed later to taste sweet.

Wow. I guess there are all kinds of cool potential applications of this fruit, particularly making awful tasting medicine better.

And I can't quite wrap my brain around how to capitalize on this part, but you see, Danny loves bitter and sour stuff. I don't think they taste bad to him. Honestly he will beg and plead until you give him your lime or lemon from your water glass in a restaurant. He'd eat the rind too if we'd let him.

As it is, we don't like to give him too many acidic things because we worry that it could damage his teeth, but gee, isn't there some way that we could take advantage of this? Miracle fruit. Miracle boy? Suggestions welcome.



Here's a pic of our little guy at around age 7 months after he "talked" us into giving him a pickle while out to eat. See what I mean? Is this the face of a sourpuss? I think not! -Monica

Springtime in DC

As seen through the eye of Susanne's camera. Seems to be that time of year when everything is blooming. Gorgeous right? Happy spring everyone! -Monica

So it wasn't even Friday when I wrote TGIF?

Calgon! Take me away! I guess last night's post should have said thank God it's ALMOST Friday.

I rest my case. -Monica

Seriously...TGIF

So I get home from work, change into comfy clothes and realize that our stinky boy needs a new diaper.

Mission accomplished. I then plop down on the bed with him chatting with Susanne for, I swear to God, at least a minute before I realize that Danny is contentedly playing with an entire leg of his green pants.

The pants that he's wearing.

Hmmm??? Something is not right here.

Su and I both burst out laughing as we realized that our boy has been dressed like this since the diaper change. And neither of us noticed!


As I said, thank God it's Friday! -Monica

People let me tell you 'bout my best friend!

Su's first cousin Patrick has been visiting us from Germany and it's been great. Danny adores him, he's funny and sweet, and try as we might, there seems to be no way to talk him into staying with us forever to be our "manny".

Stupid university.

Seriously though Patrick, when you get back home and see this, I hope you'll remember all the wonderful times you had with us and Danny especially this trip to the zoo where he practically pulled hairs out of both sides of your head.

You are always welcome here with us. See you next year in Deutschland! -Monica and Su and Danny (who is really, really, going to miss you!)

Wash with like colors...

Clearly my inner domestic Godess is not manifesting itself very well during these years of child-raising. So???? I get the cold water part of this, but really--like colors? If I wash it with the whites do I risk the pinkest jersey ever? Not to mention the pinkest load of whites ever?

Or do I go with washing it with the darks and watch my white and red pinstripes fade to a pinkish grey.

Life is so hard sometimes people. -Monica

P.S. I really was faced with this dilemma on Sunday. I met the challenge with inertia. The jersey waits alone in the basement. Unwashed. Unworn. But not forgotten.

Oh dear...

So technically my summery capri pants, that we got out of storage in answer to this DC heat wave, still fit.

But for some reason I keep having this vauge memory of watching the Incredible Hulk when I was a kid. You know. That show where mild mannered Bill Bixby transformed into Lou Ferrigno?

Oh that's just silly. These pants fit me just fine. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to extricate myself from this chair to go get something to eat.

On second thought, I'm not really hungry. -Monica

Dawning awareness...

I do not have allergies. I repeat. I do not have allergies.

So why then, for the last three springs, has it felt like I've been swallowing tiny pieces of jagged glass whenever I step outside?

But this makes no sense. I am not an allergy person.

Time to rephrase. I apparently have allergies. I apparently have allergies. (Thank goodness for Cl*ritin). Oh geez. What's next? The heartbreak of psoriasis? -Monica



P.S. I wrote yesterday about our friend Cornelius nearing the end of his life. Sadly, but not unexpectedly news came last night of his passing. Good night sweet prince.

Dance

When I worked at Peace Corps I met a sweet friend named Laurette. Then I met her wonderful husband Cornelius, and had the honor of greeting them at the airport when they arrived home from overseas with their newly adopted daughter. This was about 10 years ago. How time flies.

I remember when they were trying to adopt they ran into troubles because Cornelius had previously had cancer. He’d been in remission for a long time, so they were beyond thrilled when they finally got the go ahead to adopt their beautiful girl. For several years all was good. Heck, all was great!

But over the past three years Cornelius and his family have been visited anew by this arch enemy. This cancer. And every time he’s miraculously made a comeback.

But today, he is in a hospital room surrounded by his family, dying. The doctors have told them that it won’t be much longer now. The pneumonia he contracted last week has been too much for his weakened body. Laurette wrote last night that "Cornelius is resting comfortably with his baby and her stuffed animals snuggling close in his bed."

I’ve been so sad all day just thinking about him and everyone who loves him. Thinking and praying.

I keep remembering something that Laurette and Cornelius once shared with us. It was that every year on their wedding anniversary, they both put on their original wedding clothes and dance around their living room.

At the time I was just amazed at the idea that their clothes still fit them, but the more I thought about it the more I was amazed that they were just so darn romantic.

So Cornelius, I pray for peace for you today and always. And for another dance with your beautiful wife someday. -Monica

Mama bye bye? Mama bye bye?

Apparently my lovely wife has heard Danny repeat this question about a zillion times since I left DC on Sunday morning to go to a conference.

I'm still away and when I return Wednesday, there is a slight chance that I will no longer be the apple of his eye. Seems he's been getting grumpier and grumpier with his questioning over time.

I don't travel much for work, but when I do I miss Su and Danny terribly. You'd think I'd be taking full advantage of this opportunity to sleep soundly at the lovely hotel where I'm staying, but I haven't. The first night I woke up twice thinking I heard Danny cry a bit, and this morning I'm up well before the crack of dawn because fluffy pillows are no substitute for the warmth and comfort of my beautiful wife.

All this being said I can't wait for tomorrow. For hugs and kisses and, I'm hoping, Danny's joyful shriek of "Mamo" (which sounds suspiciously similar to "Melmo" (yes his favorite Sesame Street friend). Heck I'd settle for his latest variation on my name, the very clever "Mamaca".

Whatever. Just so he is thrilled to see me. We haven't taught him yet how to hold a grudge, so I'm very hopeful!

See you soon loves! -Monica

Doggonit!

Do you remember Max the dog in How the Grinch Stole Christmas? How excited he was to sit on top of that sleigh?

See, this is our problem with Danny. When he acts up, we put him in timeout on the living room steps--just like "the books" recommend.

And for his part, he sits there with a happy grin beaming at us.

It's rather hard to continue to be sore at him. What a boy! -Monica

Dream a Dream indeed!

If you haven't had a chance to see this clip yet, I highly recommend you do. It's from a show called Britian's Got Talent (much like American Idol as I understand it) and shy, rather awkward woman named Susan Boyle stunned the judges (including Simon Cowell) with her rendition of "I Dreamed a Dream" from Les Miserables.

Maybe it's just my love of the underdog that has made me simply adore this. Watch the judges and the audience. It's awesome! -Monica

I think I can, I think I can...

So I’m not saying my job is totally boring because it’s not. But yesterday the most exciting 5 seconds of my day—those precious moments where I felt most alive and engaged—were when I was waiting to see if I’d guessed the right password on a web app I don’t use often.

Like most, I have way too many passwords, and try as I might, I sometimes lose track of them. That’s when I resort to guessing.

This was to get into a travel system we use in my agency. I only had three chances—three strikes—and I’d be out. Then I'd have to contact the site to get a whole new password which is an annoying hassle. Ugh.

So I made my first guess. WRONG!

Okay. Let’s try guess number two. WRONG!

My adrenaline surged. I leaned forward in my seat and oh so carefully tried my final answer.

The screen went into that waiting pattern. The little world spun round and round in the corner of my screen.

Then this.

WELCOME TO THE XYZ TRAVEL MONICA!

I’m embarrassed to say I actually threw both fists into the air in a little victory “dance” and whispered “yes!”

Maybe today I’ll try and figure out how I can put someone on hold and bring another caller on the line. It seems so easy when someone else does it. ;-)

A very happy Easter it was!

Psych!

I haven't had a chance to write this week about how really excited Susanne and I are about the exciting news coming out of Iowa, Vermont and our home town the District of Columbia in regard to legislation to either allow for gay marriage, or in the case of DC, to allow people who are legally married elsewhere to have their marriages recognized here. To learn more about some of the details of these issues read here.

One thing you'll note if you take a look at the link above is that another measure was approved the same day. It was introduced by DC Councilmember Phil Mendelson's and deals with determining parentage for domestic partners in DC.

This is a big deal. In a nutshell, if we were to have another child, by virtue of our Domestic Partnership Agreement, I would be listed immediately on our child's birth certificate. We could give the baby either of our last names, so we could immediately give him or her mine. With Danny, he had to carry Susanne's last name until I could legally adopt him at 6 months. In fact since we took him on a visit to Germany as a younger infant he needed to get a Social Security card in order to get a passport--both of which had to be done with Su's last name that was later changed. What a hassle to redo all of that stuff!

It's hard to explain how frustrating it is to have to prove that you are a worthy parent with home studies by social workers, court dates etc...all the while having virtually no legal standing to care for your little baby until a judge says "yes" (and that's not a guarentee!). Sadly in the eyes of the law, you are a complete stranger to that child.

If this new legislation passes, our second child, should we be so blessed, would be our child LEGALLY from its very first breath. How exciting. Not to mention saving thousands of dollars on adoption costs. But since the cost of the adoption basically gets reimbursed as a credit at tax time, I am less concerned with the cost than I am by the prinicple of the matter.

So, we'll have to see how this all plays out since legislation passed by the DC Council is subject to review by the U.S. Congress due to DC Home Rule (don't get me started.) We are just so excited that little by little change is coming. Yes! -Monica

Oh Snap!

For Christmas this year Susanne got her wish--enrollment in a digital photography class. She's always been a very good photographer, but she wanted to learn a bit more about F-Stops and lighting and composition and stuff like that. As you can see from the photo here she did very well. Of course it helps to have the most adorable model in the world I always say!

Congratulations honey! Great job! -Monica

Tough call...

I work in an organization in a federal government agency that focuses on a couple of different things, including a section of the Rehabilitation Act that deals with IT accessibility.

So even though most of the questions I deal with come from other federal colleagues, because it is in the broad area of disability, sometimes I get questions from the general public, and I do my best to try and point them in the right direction.

This morning a call was transferred to me from our front office, and it was a gentleman who had been disabled by a stroke but was recovering. He was clearly looking for help. As I started to listen to his story, I could tell right away that this man was in deep despair. I knew that I could offer him no assistance in terms of our program, but that was beside the point as he continued.

He’d lost his job and was going to lose his home to foreclosure in two weeks. He felt like he’d been tricked by a shady lawyer and so ashamed that he'd let his whole family down. He began to cry as he told me that he didn’t think he could go on anymore.

We talked (I mostly listened) for about 15 minutes and during that time I looked up the number for the toll free suicide prevention hotline, and also an organization in the city where he lived that offered free counseling for people nearing foreclosure.

I found that I was all choked up as I spoke with him. I like to think that he felt that I was empathizing with his pain and I was.

I told him that I was going to give him two numbers to call and asked him if he had something to write them down with. I remember from my years as a first aid instructor reminding students that when people are very distressed they need very concrete direction.

I asked him if he would do me a favor and promise me that the second we got off the phone he would dial the 800 number to talk to a counselor about how he was feeling like he couldn’t go on. I asked him to promise me, because a promise is a very concrete and powerful thing.

He promised me he would. After he’d talked to them , I said, then call the local number for the foreclosure counseling. I also told him that the first place he was going to call was probably going to have some even better ideas that I didn’t know about.

As we were about to hang I up I told him “God Bless”. And I meant it more than anything I’ve ever said before.

I’m so grateful that there are toll free numbers for suicide hotlines, poison control centers and rape crisis centers. I don’t think I could ever do that kind of work, but I’m grateful to all you folks out there who do.

This whole experience also just makes me livid at those who have caused the economic mess that we are in today. I'd like to see all these AIG and other Wall Street bigshots have to listen to the calls that the suicide prevention line gets all day. Maybe then they'd see what they have done. -Monica

The eyes have it!

So I think that all people who examine other human beings for a living should be taught the dangers of saying “hmmmmhhh?” as they examine their patients.

This morning during a routine eye exam (okay I hadn’t had one in years) my optometrist after looking in one eye and then the other and then back to the first eye again, opined “hmmmmhhh?”

Turns out that it’s no big deal. So what if one optic nerve (actually bundle of nerves) looks a lot different from the other? I have no other risk factors for glaucoma (including perfect pressure) and he emphatically told me “I don’t think you have glaucoma”, but still, did he need to do the “hmmmmhhh?" We'll check again in 9 months to see if everything is still looking okay. Unsymetrical, but okay.

You know, it wouldn’t have been so bad if he’d been uncommunicative during the whole exam, but he was one of those peppy “you’re doing great!” kind of guys.

So, anyway, after my anxiety raged for a moment or two I was fine. Turns out my right eye is near sighted and my left eye is far sighted. That explains a lot about my recent vision strain. Looks like I’ll be getting what are called progressive lenses (sort of bifocally with no line.)

Ah, another day, another $200. -Monica

So baby pandas think this bamboo stuff is yummy?

Gentle Danny, gentle...

I honestly don't know which is more impressive. The fact that Su captured this shot of Danny discovering a butterfly on a flower, or the fact that the butterfly was still there when he got this close.

Another billionth of a second and it would have just been a picture of wings lifting off! -Monica

Perceptive eh?

When you look at this logo what do you see? (Okay, scroll down a bit now.)













While driving past our local Goodwill story recently we learned that Susanne sees the letter "g", while I see half of a smiling face.

What does it mean??? Inquiring minds want to know! -Monica

Aw mom... Not the camera again!

Meme! Otherwise known as look at me, me!

Oh boy! Jenni over at Oscarelli tagged me for this six random things meme. I’ve never been tagged before. Great! That will be my first random thing about me!

The RULES:
1. Link to the person who tagged you.
2. Post the rules on your blog.
3. Write six random things about yourself.
4. Tag six people at the end of your post and link to them.
5. Let each person know they’ve been tagged and leave a comment on their blog.
6. Let the tagger know when your entry is up.

Six Random Things About Me.

1. I’ve never been tagged before! (Well I guess technically I have now.)

2. From 1994 -1996 I lived in Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. I was a civilian with the Justice Department and was helping the thousands of rafters who had fled Cuba, and were intercepted at sea. One funny story is that I would sometimes accompany people on flights to Florida once they’d been granted parole. When the flight attendant would start the safety speech in Spanish and mentioned the personal flotation devices, you know, “in case of a water landing”, just about everybody on the plane (seriously) would start looking under their seat to try and check out it out. Made sense if you think about the fact they’d fled on rafts, but it was very comical to see happen.

3. When I delete words when I’m typing I prefer to go to the beginning of the word I don’t want and hit the delete key, rather then going to the end of the word and hitting backspace.

4. In second grade I got a mix of A’s, A+’s and A-’s on my report card. I told everyone I got “crooked A’s”!

5. When I was about six I wrote a letter to The Quaker Oats Company asking if my brother and I could be cereal tasters at their company. I assured them that my dad could drop us off an pick us up every day (apparently I thought it would be a short commute between the Twin Cities and Chigago). Anyway, someone wrote back and told me that I could apply for a job when I was 18 and they sent us coupons for free boxes of Quisp and Quake Cereal. I was in heaven! Come to think of it, I don’t know why I didn’t write more letters like that!

6. Here's something random. I never realized til now how hard it is to come up with these random things about myself. Thank goodness I only needed to do six of them (as opposed to that Facebook "25 things about me" AND found a way to make my numbers 1 and 6 here basically about nothing. Cheers!


I'm tagging:

1. Beth at Beth and Eric Down Under

2. Amy at Bugaloobrenny

3. Strawberry and Nutella at 1 in Vermillion

4. Stimey at Stimeyland

5. Casey at Half as Good as You

6. Sarah at Journey of a Co-Mom

What we have here is a failure to communicate...

This is catfood.

This is a floor without catfood strewn all over it.

Can someone out there help us explain to Danny why cat food is for cats and not for strewing? (And yes that is a real word--I checked.)

He knows that it is a no no and in fact now repeats back to us "no, no" while waggling his finger as if to show us that he gets it.

But still he strews. Twice now in the last 12 hours.

Parenting 101. Remove the temptation from the child's reach. Divert the child's attention.

Parenting 201. You can't remove everything from the child's reach at all times. You can't divert a child's attention at all times.

I think we’d better stop auditing these imaginary classes and figure out what to do here.

-Monica

I April Fooled myself today!

Yes, I'm that silly.

I sat down to log into my computer at work like I do every day. User ID. Password. Just like I do every day.

But it didn't work.

I tried it again. Thoughts of the dreaded April Fools Day C*nficker virus filled me with a sudden and terrifying sense of doom.

One more time slowly, checking to make sure my CAPS LOCK was not on.

It was all over. I was absolutely convinced that every cent of money in every account gone. Every password to every thing I'd ever logged into in my life was surely now in the hands of some terrifying enemy.

Then my brian recognized something so small. So tiny.

Apparently my 10 letter last name that is incorporated into this combination of IDs was a little short today. I SPELLED MY OWN LAST NAME WRONG! I forgot an entire letter to be exact.

Geez! It's not like I haven't typed it approximately 7,223,999,876 times since the dawn of the computer age.

But oh the relief when I got into my system.

So April Fools Day to you. To all of us!

-Monica