10. An unexpected snow storm is falling over Washington, DC that may just continue all night. I still love a good "snow day".
9. Work is going pretty well. That always makes me happy.
8. Baby Benjamin is doing great! He's only been with us six weeks and it's as if he's always been here. How wonderful!
7. Su on maternity leave means wonderful dinners every night. Fortunately she loves to cook and cooks well, so having time to really plan and prepare dinner makes all of us happy.
6. Danny is a CONSTANT source of delight and laughs. Just the things he says and does. We may have to start calling him Larious. Cuz he's so hilarious.
5. Valentine's Day is coming up I am bound and determined to come up with a really romantic idea to celebrate it. It's challenging with two little ones, but it can be done.
4. We just came home from a little gathering with neighbors that was a hodge podge of giggling children and laughing adults. We have fabulous neighbors and I am beyond grateful that we live where we do.
3. Danny has been going to bed like a dream of late (knock on every piece of wood in the world). But as I type this he's peacefully sleeping in his "big boy bed" in the next room and it just feels awesome to know that he is so comfortable and happy there.
2. Now that Ben is here, so much seems "back to normal". Pregnancy has its share of challenges, fears and emotions (for both of us), so now that we can just be us again, is wonderful. I feel like Susanne and I are "home" again in some way I can't explain. It's great.
1. Last but not least, after figuring out that my mom had a pretty nasty bacterial infection that she's now been treated she is finally on the mend after breaking her hip two weeks ago. Falling and getting badly hurt is just no fun period, but it turns out that mom was under much more stress from this infection than anyone knew. It is the most wonderful sound in the world to hear your mom, who you were afraid might never be well again, sound like her old self.
Truly blessed. Yup. Keep snowing heavens! Keep snowing! -Monica
Tuesday, February 02, 2010
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Glad you asked
It is a really fascinating experience to share that we have just had a baby, because for many people, this news is wonderful, yet a bit confusing. I mean look at us. We are two women. How did we do this?
Our close friends and family of course know exactly what process we went through to have our sons, but others who are not so close, often ask the best questions. Not malicious questions, just curious.
For example, “who’s the father?” Once we explain that the boys have no father but two mothers, often we see the "blank look" so sometimes we share a bit more about how we used donor to conceive our children. Oh no. More wheels figuratively spinning around in people’s head trying to figure out what that really means. And I just know that there are those who end up thinking “well they must have just called up one of those cryobanks and said “hey, send us whatever you got there—any donor will do!” Well that or even more outlandish ideas. How can I say this? Um NO!
I can’t imagine what else goes on in their confused little heads so sometimes a little more information is in order.
Here is an excerpt from an e-mail I sent to a friend last year who really truly wanted to understand how our family came to be. He encouraged me to share this with others as he found it fascinating, so I’ve decided that now is as good a time as any to share it. Enjoy!
_____________________________________________________
“…Anyway, your questions about our donor are no problem at all. Someday I'll probably even do a post about it because I think it's interesting to others as well. When Su and I first talked about having children, we both were very much leaning towards adopting a child. We'd both worked in Latin America and knew others who'd adopted kids from Guatemala so that seemed sort of logical to us. We signed up for a class at a clinic here in DC called Whitman Walker. The class was called “Maybe Baby” and is for gay people who are trying to learn all about the many options to have a family.
It was one night a week for about 8 weeks and we learned about adoption, alternative insemination, known donor, unknown donors, legal stuff etc... It was fascinating and as a wonderful aside we made some great friends who we are still close to.
By the time we finished the course we both ended up agreeing that there was no reason we couldn't try to have a baby using a donor. Susanne had always figured she'd have children one day—I never did have the “biological clock” thing and also since I’m a lot older than Susanne, she was the logical one to carry any baby we’d try to have. So, we arranged for some medical screening of hormone levels etc... and she was deemed super healthy by the reproductive endrocronologist we went to.
So...then the big decision became whether we would ask someone we knew to donate semen or select an anonymous donor who we'd never know or meet. We both have some awesome male friends who we could have asked, but after much introspection, we feared that any known donor we could choose would, of course, feel connected to our baby. And that was something that was not okay with either of us. Any child she gave birth to would be our baby-no one elses. So we started exploring the various cryobanks around the US.
On those sites you basically can search for donors who fit whatever profile you want. Hair color, ethnicity etc. Then for free you can read a short profile of the person and read a short paragraph they wrote in response to a question like "why did you decide to become a donor." You get to see a lot of details about their age, eye color, blood type etc... on this short profile. It was very interesting how easy it was to kick potential donors out of the mix because they couldn't write well (not that I'm so great a writer but that's not the point.)
Anyway, we decided to select someone with qualities similar to me so our baby would sort of look like both of our sides of the family. We narrowed it down to two and then picked the one that we both agreed seemed "right". We only had a number to identify our donor by.
Then we paid about $15.00 for a long profile with not only his full medical history and school history including GPA and other standardized test scores (like GMAT.) It included his and his entire immediate family's medical history which was great and it turned out they were a very healthy bunch! We then had the option to buy a picture of our donor as a toddler. We didn't do that right away, but later did. He's adorable, and that mop of hair you see on Danny's head? It's the exact same hair except for the color. (You can’t get a picture of an anonymous donor as an adult. This prevents walking down the street and seeing some guy and going “Dude!”)
We also purchased an audio profile of our donor being interviewed. He sounds like a really nice happy person and our plan is to share with Danny everything we have on the donor.
It’s termed “anonymous” because the donor does not want to be found later. One of the best questions we get asked is “what if you kid grows up and dates someone who it turns out is a progeny of that donor?” (They don’t ask it quite like that, but that is what they mean.) Well, the odds of that seem pretty darn small, but I tell them that we purposely chose to use a cryobank from a different state to reduce that possibility. I’m guessing statistically that the odds of that “dating scenario” happening would actually be much higher in an insular small town than in our situation, but who knows? As a friend once told me “mama’s baby, daddy’s maybe. ;-)
We definitely know that we want our children (if we are blessed with another child) to be a full sibling to Danny so when Su was pregnant with Danny we purchased extra vials of "our donor" and put them on ice so to speak (in a facility designed for such a thing.)
There are several way to conceive. “In vitro” is what everyone thinks of which is when the egg and sperm get together in a dish and are then implanted in the woman’s body. This is a method most often used when there are severe fertility problems. We didn’t have a fertility problem. We had a lack of sperm problem until working with the cryobank. So with a doctor’s assistance, the semen we chose was inserted into Su’s uterus at the exact right time during her cycle. It took lots of timing and tracking, and it did not work every time we tried. But when it did work, wahoo!
____________________________________________________________
I wrote all of this before Benjamin was even conceived. Wow! Now we have TWO gorgeous sons!
It's kind of funny that we sort of say we "adopted some sperm" to have Danny and Benji.We know that they have half siblings somewhere out there but are not interested in trying to meet other families on what are called voluntary sibling registries. Perhaps the boys will want to do that when they get older. Totally their call.
Alrighty then. Just felt in the mood to share. –Monica
P.S. I am very grateful to our donor for becoming a donor. Yes, they are paid to do so, but go through very rigorous testing and it can’t be that fun. I just can't imagine my life without my two amazing sons, so again, grateful is the word when I think of most when I think about this.
Our close friends and family of course know exactly what process we went through to have our sons, but others who are not so close, often ask the best questions. Not malicious questions, just curious.
For example, “who’s the father?” Once we explain that the boys have no father but two mothers, often we see the "blank look" so sometimes we share a bit more about how we used donor to conceive our children. Oh no. More wheels figuratively spinning around in people’s head trying to figure out what that really means. And I just know that there are those who end up thinking “well they must have just called up one of those cryobanks and said “hey, send us whatever you got there—any donor will do!” Well that or even more outlandish ideas. How can I say this? Um NO!
I can’t imagine what else goes on in their confused little heads so sometimes a little more information is in order.
Here is an excerpt from an e-mail I sent to a friend last year who really truly wanted to understand how our family came to be. He encouraged me to share this with others as he found it fascinating, so I’ve decided that now is as good a time as any to share it. Enjoy!
_____________________________________________________
“…Anyway, your questions about our donor are no problem at all. Someday I'll probably even do a post about it because I think it's interesting to others as well. When Su and I first talked about having children, we both were very much leaning towards adopting a child. We'd both worked in Latin America and knew others who'd adopted kids from Guatemala so that seemed sort of logical to us. We signed up for a class at a clinic here in DC called Whitman Walker. The class was called “Maybe Baby” and is for gay people who are trying to learn all about the many options to have a family.
It was one night a week for about 8 weeks and we learned about adoption, alternative insemination, known donor, unknown donors, legal stuff etc... It was fascinating and as a wonderful aside we made some great friends who we are still close to.
By the time we finished the course we both ended up agreeing that there was no reason we couldn't try to have a baby using a donor. Susanne had always figured she'd have children one day—I never did have the “biological clock” thing and also since I’m a lot older than Susanne, she was the logical one to carry any baby we’d try to have. So, we arranged for some medical screening of hormone levels etc... and she was deemed super healthy by the reproductive endrocronologist we went to.
So...then the big decision became whether we would ask someone we knew to donate semen or select an anonymous donor who we'd never know or meet. We both have some awesome male friends who we could have asked, but after much introspection, we feared that any known donor we could choose would, of course, feel connected to our baby. And that was something that was not okay with either of us. Any child she gave birth to would be our baby-no one elses. So we started exploring the various cryobanks around the US.
On those sites you basically can search for donors who fit whatever profile you want. Hair color, ethnicity etc. Then for free you can read a short profile of the person and read a short paragraph they wrote in response to a question like "why did you decide to become a donor." You get to see a lot of details about their age, eye color, blood type etc... on this short profile. It was very interesting how easy it was to kick potential donors out of the mix because they couldn't write well (not that I'm so great a writer but that's not the point.)
Anyway, we decided to select someone with qualities similar to me so our baby would sort of look like both of our sides of the family. We narrowed it down to two and then picked the one that we both agreed seemed "right". We only had a number to identify our donor by.
Then we paid about $15.00 for a long profile with not only his full medical history and school history including GPA and other standardized test scores (like GMAT.) It included his and his entire immediate family's medical history which was great and it turned out they were a very healthy bunch! We then had the option to buy a picture of our donor as a toddler. We didn't do that right away, but later did. He's adorable, and that mop of hair you see on Danny's head? It's the exact same hair except for the color. (You can’t get a picture of an anonymous donor as an adult. This prevents walking down the street and seeing some guy and going “Dude!”)
We also purchased an audio profile of our donor being interviewed. He sounds like a really nice happy person and our plan is to share with Danny everything we have on the donor.
It’s termed “anonymous” because the donor does not want to be found later. One of the best questions we get asked is “what if you kid grows up and dates someone who it turns out is a progeny of that donor?” (They don’t ask it quite like that, but that is what they mean.) Well, the odds of that seem pretty darn small, but I tell them that we purposely chose to use a cryobank from a different state to reduce that possibility. I’m guessing statistically that the odds of that “dating scenario” happening would actually be much higher in an insular small town than in our situation, but who knows? As a friend once told me “mama’s baby, daddy’s maybe. ;-)
We definitely know that we want our children (if we are blessed with another child) to be a full sibling to Danny so when Su was pregnant with Danny we purchased extra vials of "our donor" and put them on ice so to speak (in a facility designed for such a thing.)
There are several way to conceive. “In vitro” is what everyone thinks of which is when the egg and sperm get together in a dish and are then implanted in the woman’s body. This is a method most often used when there are severe fertility problems. We didn’t have a fertility problem. We had a lack of sperm problem until working with the cryobank. So with a doctor’s assistance, the semen we chose was inserted into Su’s uterus at the exact right time during her cycle. It took lots of timing and tracking, and it did not work every time we tried. But when it did work, wahoo!
____________________________________________________________
I wrote all of this before Benjamin was even conceived. Wow! Now we have TWO gorgeous sons!
It's kind of funny that we sort of say we "adopted some sperm" to have Danny and Benji.We know that they have half siblings somewhere out there but are not interested in trying to meet other families on what are called voluntary sibling registries. Perhaps the boys will want to do that when they get older. Totally their call.
Alrighty then. Just felt in the mood to share. –Monica
P.S. I am very grateful to our donor for becoming a donor. Yes, they are paid to do so, but go through very rigorous testing and it can’t be that fun. I just can't imagine my life without my two amazing sons, so again, grateful is the word when I think of most when I think about this.
Our house--early this morning
Danny picks up the remote while watching Sesame Street.
Mama: "Are you going to change the channel?"
D: "Yes, I news."
M: "You're going to watch the news?"
D: "Yes, I love news."
Hah!
Mama: "Are you going to change the channel?"
D: "Yes, I news."
M: "You're going to watch the news?"
D: "Yes, I love news."
Hah!
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Wake me up when the photo shoot is over okay mom?
Our Ben doing what he does best. Relaxing. Ahhhhhh.....
One day Danny will look at this in disbelief
Yes it's true number one son. You fit perfectly on our first step. You are precious. -Mommy
On the home front
Well, I'm back from visiting my mom in MN. It's been a week today since she fell. She ended up with a partial hip replacement (which I think means the whole left side) and as of Saturday moved to a transitional care facility to do physical therapy so she can move around and remain independent. Unfortuately though she has continued to be plauged by nausea, even now after she is off the stronger painkillers. Until she can stay nourished she can't really begin working hard on her PT and, or course she feels very tired and weak. I spent as much time with her in the hospital and the transitional care place as I could, but of course now I am home, thousands of miles away.
It is a great help that my siblings are there--particularly my sister who is a public health nurse who works a lot with families with relatives needing care like mom does. She is a great advocate. I can call and talk to mom, but she tires really quickly and I don't want to bother her. As you can tell, I find it all frustrating and worrisome.
She asked a lot about Danny and Benji when I was with her which was nice. Nothing like little kids to lighten things up right.
For example, the next story I'll tell her will be about dinner last night.
Danny likes to say "not" instead of "don't want". (For instance he'll say "I not get dressed")
So last night as he and Su were both drinking milk with dinner, we moms thought we'd be clever and model the right way to say this.
Monica to Susanne - "Honey, would you like more milk?"
Susanne - "No, I don't want more milk"
Monica to Danny - "Sweetie, would you like milk?"
Danny to both moms - "I have milk" (followed by puzzled face then a big grin)
I'm sure you all could hear us both laughing from wherever in the world you read this blog. -Monica
It is a great help that my siblings are there--particularly my sister who is a public health nurse who works a lot with families with relatives needing care like mom does. She is a great advocate. I can call and talk to mom, but she tires really quickly and I don't want to bother her. As you can tell, I find it all frustrating and worrisome.
She asked a lot about Danny and Benji when I was with her which was nice. Nothing like little kids to lighten things up right.
For example, the next story I'll tell her will be about dinner last night.
Danny likes to say "not" instead of "don't want". (For instance he'll say "I not get dressed")
So last night as he and Su were both drinking milk with dinner, we moms thought we'd be clever and model the right way to say this.
Monica to Susanne - "Honey, would you like more milk?"
Susanne - "No, I don't want more milk"
Monica to Danny - "Sweetie, would you like milk?"
Danny to both moms - "I have milk" (followed by puzzled face then a big grin)
I'm sure you all could hear us both laughing from wherever in the world you read this blog. -Monica
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Post surgery
Well I'm relieved to report that according to my mom's surgeon, the surgery went "perfectly". I actually just got a call from one of my sisters and she was able to put mom on the line. It was scary to hear her sound so tired, but she says she feels fine, actually can't feel anything. This actually makes sense since she is still under sedation.
Of course all she wanted to do was ask about Danny and Benji and I promised I'd bring some new photos for her when I fly in to see her day after tomorrow.
Whew. I feel very relieved. She's not out of the woods yet, but she just cleared a very big tree. -Monica
Of course all she wanted to do was ask about Danny and Benji and I promised I'd bring some new photos for her when I fly in to see her day after tomorrow.
Whew. I feel very relieved. She's not out of the woods yet, but she just cleared a very big tree. -Monica
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Sleep well mom
Today I got the call from one of my sisters that on some level I've always dreaded. I knew right away that something was wrong, so even though she politely asked if it was a good time to talk, I immediately asked her what was wrong.
Mom had taken a fall and unfortunately broke her hip. She'd just finished a "joints in motion" swimming class (good for you mom!) but on her way out to her car in the icy parking lot she fell. She's still pretty surprised that she couldn't just get up after she fell. She remembers feeling a bit dizzy and wondered whether her blood sugars were low and reached out to rest a second on a car. Then she was on the ground. That's never a good thing, and particularly not when you are 78 years old.
Thankfully there were people outside who saw it happen and immediately came to help. This all happened at around 1 pm CST (she is in the Twin Cities). The plan as we understood it was for her to have surgery this evening, but it's been delayed because the on call surgeon got pulled into some other surgery.
So we wait til the morning. My brothers and sisters were with her most of the evening and are heading home now. She is getting continuous pain medication which gives me great comfort. Even better, it gives her great comfort.
So now we wait. I've already booked a flight to get home at the end of the week.
Sleep well tonight mom. Just sleep well. We love you. -all of us
Mom had taken a fall and unfortunately broke her hip. She'd just finished a "joints in motion" swimming class (good for you mom!) but on her way out to her car in the icy parking lot she fell. She's still pretty surprised that she couldn't just get up after she fell. She remembers feeling a bit dizzy and wondered whether her blood sugars were low and reached out to rest a second on a car. Then she was on the ground. That's never a good thing, and particularly not when you are 78 years old.
Thankfully there were people outside who saw it happen and immediately came to help. This all happened at around 1 pm CST (she is in the Twin Cities). The plan as we understood it was for her to have surgery this evening, but it's been delayed because the on call surgeon got pulled into some other surgery.
So we wait til the morning. My brothers and sisters were with her most of the evening and are heading home now. She is getting continuous pain medication which gives me great comfort. Even better, it gives her great comfort.
So now we wait. I've already booked a flight to get home at the end of the week.
Sleep well tonight mom. Just sleep well. We love you. -all of us
Whoopsie!
Danny got a nice thank you card in the mail for a donation he/we made to Children's Hospital this year during Advent. But as you can see, his thank you card got into a scuffle with a mail sorting machine somewhere along the way.
Nice of the USPS to say they were sorry when it came delivered in the special plastic pouch, but ouch! Thank goodness it wasn't something of more value, like a check or something. But that being said this is probably the worst I've seen after receiving close to a million pieces of mail in my life. Not a bad percentage.
Oh no! Danny's only gotten something like 20 things in the mail in his life. That percentage just jumped mightily! :-)
Embiggen to read the "mea culpa". -M
Nice of the USPS to say they were sorry when it came delivered in the special plastic pouch, but ouch! Thank goodness it wasn't something of more value, like a check or something. But that being said this is probably the worst I've seen after receiving close to a million pieces of mail in my life. Not a bad percentage.
Oh no! Danny's only gotten something like 20 things in the mail in his life. That percentage just jumped mightily! :-)
Embiggen to read the "mea culpa". -M
Sunday, January 17, 2010
A whole month of Benjamin!
Caption this.
My vote goes for Ben thinking "Matching PJs. Oh horrors! They are making us wear matching PJs!"
You can actually have fun looking at about 20 or so pics of Benjamin's first month by clicking on "Benji's first month" slide show. He's growing like a weed--we think he's nearing the 10 pound mark (can you say "sleep through the night soon?)
Our Benjamin. He's a bit of a character so he fits in very nicely around here ;-)
Happy first month birthday baby. We love you! -Mommy and Mama
P.S. They are only in matching PJs cuz we got these cute outfits from a dear friends. We don't anticipate too much "matchy matchy" but we'll see ;-)
Friday, January 15, 2010
Who me? Worry?
Yesterday two year old Danny stealthily crept up on his tiny brother, toy screwdriver in hand. Fortunately I was not in the room or I would have had a heart attack. Susanne who was in the room, explained to me later how Danny gently laid the tool into the sleeping baby's hand.
This is a good sign right? -Monica
This is a good sign right? -Monica
Thursday, January 14, 2010
He's electric!
Come January 2011, you can expect to see little Benjamin too that's for sure. My mom thought the photo of Danny's hair like this was hysterical. "How'd you do it?" she asked. As I recall we didn't have to do anything. Static electricity just loves the boy ;-) -Monica
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
If you're thinking about helping with Haiti relief, do it now
Yesterday's earthquake in Haiti couldn't have happened in a worse place. Haiti is one of the poorest countries in the world, and this quake hit only a few miles from Port-au-Prince--the country's capital.
In 1998, after Hurricane Mitch hit, I went to Nicaragua to help with disaster relief. It's heartbreaking to see the results of such devastation, but I learned something while I was there. That is, that everybody wants to help, but they don't know how. Boat loads of clothes and goods were shipped there, many of which were diverted from those who needed them most due to some pretty blatant corruption. And frankly, a lot of goods that people donated were not even needed or helpful.
If you want to help I recommend you donate money. Money that can be intelligently used to purchase goods and services there that will not only help people in need, but will help get the local economy back on track as quickly as possible. Here is a list posted in the NY Times today of organizations that will take donations that will be used immediately in Haiti. We just donated to the Red Cross. If you're thinking of helping please just do it right this second. Agencies can only plan based on what they have available to them. That's where we can all help by making a donation now.
Please keep the people of Haiti in your prayers. I can't imagine the pain, terror and anguish that tens of thousands of people are suffering this very moment. May God grant them peace. And help now. -Monica
In 1998, after Hurricane Mitch hit, I went to Nicaragua to help with disaster relief. It's heartbreaking to see the results of such devastation, but I learned something while I was there. That is, that everybody wants to help, but they don't know how. Boat loads of clothes and goods were shipped there, many of which were diverted from those who needed them most due to some pretty blatant corruption. And frankly, a lot of goods that people donated were not even needed or helpful.
If you want to help I recommend you donate money. Money that can be intelligently used to purchase goods and services there that will not only help people in need, but will help get the local economy back on track as quickly as possible. Here is a list posted in the NY Times today of organizations that will take donations that will be used immediately in Haiti. We just donated to the Red Cross. If you're thinking of helping please just do it right this second. Agencies can only plan based on what they have available to them. That's where we can all help by making a donation now.
Please keep the people of Haiti in your prayers. I can't imagine the pain, terror and anguish that tens of thousands of people are suffering this very moment. May God grant them peace. And help now. -Monica
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Working it
Apparently while I was gone from work for the last three weeks, the world continued to spin without me. Oh, I knew what was happening as it was spinning, as I couldn’t help but peek at my Blackberry from time to time, but I’m pretty proud of myself for staying out of things.
My plant at work however did not continue to spin too well without me. It’s a rubber tree plant and I know it will recover from its giant thirst but it is one unhappy plant right now. I know this because as I watered it this morning it sucked up water like the Little Shop of Horrors plant screamed “FEED ME! FEED ME NOW!” I probably should have mentioned the plant to my wonderful co-workers who most certainly would have taken care of things. But short of coming into my workspace you don’t really see it on the windowsill, so no one knew. I must admit I keep glancing over at it now. It seems, well, angry with me. Or maybe as it absorbs the water it perks up and moves ever so slightly. Damn my peripheral vision!
Danny was not happy at all to learn that I would be going out the door before him this morning. “No work Mommy, no work!” I actually sort of agreed with him, but that whole bringing home the bacon thing makes it sort of imperative. I also caused great anguish for the child by breaking his Kashi waffle in half at breakfast. It was one of those days. Not as bad as the time when he wanted a sponge to wipe his new play kitchen down with, and I (horrors) wet it before giving it to him. He was very unhappy and it was near impossible to explain that it's not really possible to just "unwet" a sponge.
I am happy to cut him some slack though. He’s been though a big transition in the past few weeks. Case in point. Su’s mom drove to our house from South Carolina the day the baby was born (Dec. 17th), and was with us until around New Years. In the meanwhile we’d returned from the hospital with the baby. So the day Nana drove off, Su and Danny and I went outside to wave goodbye as she drove off, Danny very happily called out “Bye bye Nana. Bye bye Baby”. Yup. He thought she was taking the interloper with her. When we explained to him that the baby was staying he was not pleased. Not pleased at all.
But he’s coming around. Last night he laid on the couch with Benji and actually coached him on how to get his thumb into his mouth. Much giggling ensued and it was great fun to watch.
Alrighty then. I have to get back to my long list of things to do. Before my rubber tree plant scares me again! -Monica
My plant at work however did not continue to spin too well without me. It’s a rubber tree plant and I know it will recover from its giant thirst but it is one unhappy plant right now. I know this because as I watered it this morning it sucked up water like the Little Shop of Horrors plant screamed “FEED ME! FEED ME NOW!” I probably should have mentioned the plant to my wonderful co-workers who most certainly would have taken care of things. But short of coming into my workspace you don’t really see it on the windowsill, so no one knew. I must admit I keep glancing over at it now. It seems, well, angry with me. Or maybe as it absorbs the water it perks up and moves ever so slightly. Damn my peripheral vision!
Danny was not happy at all to learn that I would be going out the door before him this morning. “No work Mommy, no work!” I actually sort of agreed with him, but that whole bringing home the bacon thing makes it sort of imperative. I also caused great anguish for the child by breaking his Kashi waffle in half at breakfast. It was one of those days. Not as bad as the time when he wanted a sponge to wipe his new play kitchen down with, and I (horrors) wet it before giving it to him. He was very unhappy and it was near impossible to explain that it's not really possible to just "unwet" a sponge.
I am happy to cut him some slack though. He’s been though a big transition in the past few weeks. Case in point. Su’s mom drove to our house from South Carolina the day the baby was born (Dec. 17th), and was with us until around New Years. In the meanwhile we’d returned from the hospital with the baby. So the day Nana drove off, Su and Danny and I went outside to wave goodbye as she drove off, Danny very happily called out “Bye bye Nana. Bye bye Baby”. Yup. He thought she was taking the interloper with her. When we explained to him that the baby was staying he was not pleased. Not pleased at all.
But he’s coming around. Last night he laid on the couch with Benji and actually coached him on how to get his thumb into his mouth. Much giggling ensued and it was great fun to watch.
Alrighty then. I have to get back to my long list of things to do. Before my rubber tree plant scares me again! -Monica
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Friday, January 08, 2010
Thursday, January 07, 2010
Wish I could stay home longer...
Darn it! Come Monday I'll be back to work which had me feeling a bit bummed. I've really enjoy this time at home for a few weeks with Benji just like I did with Danny two years ago. It's been restful and actually pretty productive. The baby has spent most of his time blissfully sleeping or nursing so we've had plenty of time to reorganized some spaces, go out shopping and still have plenty of time for cuddling.
I will say that being able to take Danny to Jenni's most days, just like he is used to, has been a blessing. God love him, but he is a bundle of energy and it works out very well for him to play his little buddies Oscar and Miles rather than bouncing off our our walls (and infant) all day. We really feel like we've been able to have a mellow and sweet time with Benjamin this first few weeks. Very nice. And, we are also really excited that my mom and brother will fly in for a short visit tomorrow.That will be a nice way to end my "vacation".
Benji is growing wonderfully and weighs around 8 1/2 lbs now. He still reminds us very much of Danny as an infant, although he is bigger. His pediatrician commented the other day that he seems very long limbed which doesn't surprise us, and even though his feet are not fat, the are so long that they are the exact same length as our friend Stacy's five month old daughter. Yikes! Danny, always been described as "long and lean" by the docs, and we suspect that Ben will be even taller as he gets bigger.
What else can I tell you about Benji? He is quite strong. He loves to have his hands up around his face and although swaddling worked quite well with his brother at this stage, Benjamin will have nothing to do with it. Like his brother, he really prefers the over the shoulder carry as opposed to any other mode of transport and comforting. If you add some nice firm pats on the back he is in heaven. He does however, have a bit of a "witching hour" in the evening where he just loves to cry no matter how you try to comfort him.
He is just a day shy of 3 weeks old so the only smiles we've seen have been courtesy of some gas in his belly, but we expect to see some real smiles soon. He is very engaged (when he is awake) and checks out everything with his piercing blue eyes. Danny's were also blue as an infant but they changed to brown so we would not be surprised to see the same with Benji. He has darker and wavier hair than his brother which is really cute.
Alrighty then, back to enjoying a few more days of relaxation with Su and the baby. She'll be able to stay home with him for several months for which we are very grateful. (She is so lucky!)
Anyway, I'll end with a pic of Danny singing a lullabye to his "bruder". VERY LOUDLY as you can see! (His godfather Luis gave him this guitar for Christmas and he has become a bit of a rock star 'round here.) -Monica
I will say that being able to take Danny to Jenni's most days, just like he is used to, has been a blessing. God love him, but he is a bundle of energy and it works out very well for him to play his little buddies Oscar and Miles rather than bouncing off our our walls (and infant) all day. We really feel like we've been able to have a mellow and sweet time with Benjamin this first few weeks. Very nice. And, we are also really excited that my mom and brother will fly in for a short visit tomorrow.That will be a nice way to end my "vacation".
Benji is growing wonderfully and weighs around 8 1/2 lbs now. He still reminds us very much of Danny as an infant, although he is bigger. His pediatrician commented the other day that he seems very long limbed which doesn't surprise us, and even though his feet are not fat, the are so long that they are the exact same length as our friend Stacy's five month old daughter. Yikes! Danny, always been described as "long and lean" by the docs, and we suspect that Ben will be even taller as he gets bigger.
What else can I tell you about Benji? He is quite strong. He loves to have his hands up around his face and although swaddling worked quite well with his brother at this stage, Benjamin will have nothing to do with it. Like his brother, he really prefers the over the shoulder carry as opposed to any other mode of transport and comforting. If you add some nice firm pats on the back he is in heaven. He does however, have a bit of a "witching hour" in the evening where he just loves to cry no matter how you try to comfort him.
He is just a day shy of 3 weeks old so the only smiles we've seen have been courtesy of some gas in his belly, but we expect to see some real smiles soon. He is very engaged (when he is awake) and checks out everything with his piercing blue eyes. Danny's were also blue as an infant but they changed to brown so we would not be surprised to see the same with Benji. He has darker and wavier hair than his brother which is really cute.
Alrighty then, back to enjoying a few more days of relaxation with Su and the baby. She'll be able to stay home with him for several months for which we are very grateful. (She is so lucky!)
Anyway, I'll end with a pic of Danny singing a lullabye to his "bruder". VERY LOUDLY as you can see! (His godfather Luis gave him this guitar for Christmas and he has become a bit of a rock star 'round here.) -Monica
Monday, January 04, 2010
Ahhh...success!
"Yes! I've finally found my right thumb mom, but something seems to be wrong with this left eye now."
Friday, January 01, 2010
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Just a sec!
When Susanne went into labor with Benjamin eight days before her due date, I remember feeling an initial sense of control and calm. It was about 5:30 in the morning on December 17th, and I wasn’t too surprised to see her up already and walking around. The last few weeks of pregnancy make it pretty hard for any pregnant woman to sleep comfortably, so seeing her up was no big deal.
Until she mentioned that, although she wasn’t sure, she thought she might be feeling contractions. This was unusual. She never had much in the way of Braxton-Hicks contractions with any of her two pregnancies so this really made me sit up and pay attention.
And I knew exactly what to do. As the birth partner, the best help I could offer now was to time and record every contraction. I remembered perfectly that I’d need to note the time one began, the duration, and the number of minutes before the next one started. And I was ready. Sort of.
You see with Danny’s birth in 2007 I did this just fine using a watch I’d purchased in 2001 to run my one and only marathon. It was one of those high tech gizmos with all kinds of functions including a stopwatch function. In fact I own two of those watches since during my training for the marathon I’d lost one and replaced it, then eventually found the first one. So timing contractions with Danny back then was a breeze.
Fast forward to two weeks ago when I realized I need to get hopping and start timing. “Hmmmm…” I wondered out loud. “Honey, do you know where either of those two watches are?”
I had no idea you see. Su, in between rather painful if short contractions (at least early on), gave me a few good ideas and I spent a good 15 minutes looking everywhere—to no avail.
This was ridiculous. Surely we had another watch with a second hand right? But we didn’t. You see, we don’t wear watches. We actually use our electronic devices to see what time it is, and they don’t have second hands. Neither does any clock in our house, and you can be sure that Su was not going to labor in the kitchen so I could use the the microwave timer.
While I continued my frantic searching we came up with two solutions. Su remembered that her ipod had a stopwatch app. Which actually sort of worked except that by the time you tapped the right things to start it again, several seconds had already elapsed and we realized that this was not the best solution.
Then I found this annoying stopwatch that I’d gotten as a freebee at a conference. I’m surprised we still had it, as my recollection, it beeped at all hours of the day and night and drove us both mad. But my super efficient wife did her magic and made the annoying stopwatch actually work properly so I could proceed in my duties. Benjamin was born later that day so these contractions were indeed the real thing.
The moral of this story is that all of you out there who are partners of expectant women should take this as a cautionary tale. Make sure you’ve got a timing device. Seriously. Oh, and those two awesome watches I mentioned I owned? Still haven’t found them. And now that I think of it, if they were new in 2001 and I know I used one of them in 2007, how sure am I really that either still has any battery life now that it's almost 2010?
Baby Benjamin, I hope you can forgive me. It won’t be the last time I’ll beg for you indulgence. Love, Mommy
P.S. Couldn't resist. Pictured below, the boys.
Until she mentioned that, although she wasn’t sure, she thought she might be feeling contractions. This was unusual. She never had much in the way of Braxton-Hicks contractions with any of her two pregnancies so this really made me sit up and pay attention.
And I knew exactly what to do. As the birth partner, the best help I could offer now was to time and record every contraction. I remembered perfectly that I’d need to note the time one began, the duration, and the number of minutes before the next one started. And I was ready. Sort of.
Fast forward to two weeks ago when I realized I need to get hopping and start timing. “Hmmmm…” I wondered out loud. “Honey, do you know where either of those two watches are?”
I had no idea you see. Su, in between rather painful if short contractions (at least early on), gave me a few good ideas and I spent a good 15 minutes looking everywhere—to no avail.
This was ridiculous. Surely we had another watch with a second hand right? But we didn’t. You see, we don’t wear watches. We actually use our electronic devices to see what time it is, and they don’t have second hands. Neither does any clock in our house, and you can be sure that Su was not going to labor in the kitchen so I could use the the microwave timer.
While I continued my frantic searching we came up with two solutions. Su remembered that her ipod had a stopwatch app. Which actually sort of worked except that by the time you tapped the right things to start it again, several seconds had already elapsed and we realized that this was not the best solution.
Then I found this annoying stopwatch that I’d gotten as a freebee at a conference. I’m surprised we still had it, as my recollection, it beeped at all hours of the day and night and drove us both mad. But my super efficient wife did her magic and made the annoying stopwatch actually work properly so I could proceed in my duties. Benjamin was born later that day so these contractions were indeed the real thing.
The moral of this story is that all of you out there who are partners of expectant women should take this as a cautionary tale. Make sure you’ve got a timing device. Seriously. Oh, and those two awesome watches I mentioned I owned? Still haven’t found them. And now that I think of it, if they were new in 2001 and I know I used one of them in 2007, how sure am I really that either still has any battery life now that it's almost 2010?
Baby Benjamin, I hope you can forgive me. It won’t be the last time I’ll beg for you indulgence. Love, Mommy
P.S. Couldn't resist. Pictured below, the boys.
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Oh the layers we'll wear!
I was just thinking...
Daniel was born in late May 2007 and the day he came home from the hospital it was 102 degrees outside. Hot, hot, hot.
Benjamin was born in late December 2009 and the day he came home from the hospital is was in the low 20s. Cold, cold, cold.
Which has caused me to realized that summer babies don't require much more to wear than a diaper, a onsie and a recieving blanket. And they actually find the chill of regular diaper changes refreshingly cool (cold mommy hands and all).
But winter babies have got it rougher. You've got your diaper and your onsie of course. Then you've got your warm sleeper or outfit (for night and day). And when it's time to go night night, a warm and cozy sleep sack gets added. And maybe even another receiving blanket. So diaper changes are not only unrefreshingly cold for our December boy, they take a lot of time!
Benji is handling it quite well though I'd say. I'm the one regularly cursing the little snaps that are maddeningly arragned just to drive me mad--especially in the low light of night time.
Wonder what other observations will come to light as the days pass? Only time will tell. Have a great day everybody! -Monica
Daniel was born in late May 2007 and the day he came home from the hospital it was 102 degrees outside. Hot, hot, hot.
Benjamin was born in late December 2009 and the day he came home from the hospital is was in the low 20s. Cold, cold, cold.
Which has caused me to realized that summer babies don't require much more to wear than a diaper, a onsie and a recieving blanket. And they actually find the chill of regular diaper changes refreshingly cool (cold mommy hands and all).
But winter babies have got it rougher. You've got your diaper and your onsie of course. Then you've got your warm sleeper or outfit (for night and day). And when it's time to go night night, a warm and cozy sleep sack gets added. And maybe even another receiving blanket. So diaper changes are not only unrefreshingly cold for our December boy, they take a lot of time!
Benji is handling it quite well though I'd say. I'm the one regularly cursing the little snaps that are maddeningly arragned just to drive me mad--especially in the low light of night time.
Wonder what other observations will come to light as the days pass? Only time will tell. Have a great day everybody! -Monica
Monday, December 28, 2009
Time flies when you are having fun...
Hi everybody. Sorry for the delay in getting up some more pictures of our lovely lad. We've decided that since we did a one week slide show of Danny, and then a monthly one until he was a year old, it only seems fair to do the same for his brother Benji.
So, we hope you'll enjoy "Benji's First Week". They are posted in Shutterfly and you don't need to log into anything to see them. Just follow the prompts from "view album".
Benjamin is doing great. He's steadily gaining back the weight that most babies lose in the first few days of life. His temperament is very sweet so far although when he does get cranky it's usually in the evenings. Nothing that a quick dose of the elixir of the Gods won't help (yes, that is breast milk.)
We are all doing fine as a matter of fact and enjoyed taking Benji to Christmas Eve service. I won't say he upstaged any other baby that night, but he was very much the focus of much "oohing" and "ahhing" from the wonderful friends we've made at Luther Place.
Alrighty then. To end this post, I'd like to challenge those of you who don't think Benji looks like Danny to pick which boy is which. The correct answer can be found in the slide show. Have a tremendous day everybody! -Monica
So, we hope you'll enjoy "Benji's First Week". They are posted in Shutterfly and you don't need to log into anything to see them. Just follow the prompts from "view album".
Benjamin is doing great. He's steadily gaining back the weight that most babies lose in the first few days of life. His temperament is very sweet so far although when he does get cranky it's usually in the evenings. Nothing that a quick dose of the elixir of the Gods won't help (yes, that is breast milk.)
Alrighty then. To end this post, I'd like to challenge those of you who don't think Benji looks like Danny to pick which boy is which. The correct answer can be found in the slide show. Have a tremendous day everybody! -Monica
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Back home with our two boys
Everything is going great. We did manage to have Benji in the midst of one of the biggest blizzards we’ve seen in DC in a long time, and were basically trapped at the hospital which went into a big lockdown at 2 pm on Saturday. This means that the thousands of workers there could not leave and had to bunk down and take over shifts for those who could not get in. Patients were also basically prohibited from being discharged as the city had declared a state of emergency. The roads were horrible. In a way it was kind of a cool, “we are all in this together” sort of mentality and it was fun hearing everyone tell their story of how many hours they’d been there. One nurse joked that it was sort of like a slumber party, except with no music, and bland food.
We actually arrived there on Thursday not even knowing a storm was heading our way. By Saturday though, there were 18” of snow on the ground and it was still falling.
We were not concerned about being trapped there for two reasons. The first being that Benji was born via an unplanned C-Section so Su needed a few days to recover. And secondly, becaue Danny was in good hands with his Nana who got here from South Carolina before the first snow fell. Good timing Benjamin! I was actually able to get home every night except one to put Danny to bed which I think helped, and he did a great job on the night that I was unable to get home because of the storm (thanks Nana!)
Back to Benji. I think it is safe to say that his birth was rather stressful. He was stuck very much like his brother Daniel had been, and after hours of pushing, it was decided that for the safety of the baby it would be best to do the C-Section. It was not the birth we imagined, but it was the birth we got, and I know that we are both just so grateful that he’s okay and that Susanne is okay too.
The baby also had jaundice which is pretty common but it also means that he had to be nursed every two hours to keep up his hydration. He was also put under big lights in the nursery for about 20 hours. The lights work to break down bilirubin in the blood. We knew the procedure since we'd gone through the same thing with Danny, but you do forget how tiring it can be. Since you time the feedings to be two hours apart from the start of one feeding to the start of the next, you don’t get much rest. I can’t complain though. I’m not the one who had major surgery and then has to do this over and over again on little rest. I’ve been there every minute, but Su’s job is much harder, bless her heart. She is amazing.
We are still doing the feedings every few hours but everything is just easier now that we are home.
Anyway, just wanted to post a bit more about the birth of our beautiful little boy. Happy Holidays everyone. We are happy as can be that Benjamin came in time for us all to celebrate baby's first Christmas this year! Yes! -M
Friday, December 18, 2009
Welcome sweet boy--we've been waiting for you!
Su and baby are doing fine. She can tell the birth story later. Happy day everybody!!!! -Monica & Susanne & sons
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Monday, December 14, 2009
Keeping busy. In the best possible ways...
He hasn't managed to open the box of gumballs yet thank goodness. But he's got the "machine" all taken apart and loves it even though the little door mechanism where the candy comes out out snaps his finger like a turtle.
This morning his first words upon waking were "gumballs mom!" He is a single minded little guy like that. We're not actually going to let him have gumballs we've decided. Maybe some more healthful snack can come out instead. We'll see.
Hope you all had a great weekend too. -Monica
P.S. In case you're wondering, no sign of the baby coming anytime soon.
Friday, December 11, 2009
Last night at 10:46 pm
“Aaaaand…breathe.”
“Good, that was excellent. Just relax now.”
“Ready? Here we go again…”
“Three, two, one…okay—stop, stop.”
“Last time now honey. You can do it!”
And with those words, Susanne and I finished filling in the blind cc section of an empty draft e-mail that is now ready to send once the baby comes. Su was holding down the Ctrl key and selecting the names, and we agreed to stop and add groups after about every twenty names so she didn’t accidently let go of the Ctrl key and lose everything we’d been selecting. It’s a lot of pressure to keep holding down that key without slipping up. So it was good to relax in between sets to get ready for that next group of names.
You didn’t think we’d had the baby already did you. ;-)
-Monica
“Good, that was excellent. Just relax now.”
“Ready? Here we go again…”
“Three, two, one…okay—stop, stop.”
“Last time now honey. You can do it!”
And with those words, Susanne and I finished filling in the blind cc section of an empty draft e-mail that is now ready to send once the baby comes. Su was holding down the Ctrl key and selecting the names, and we agreed to stop and add groups after about every twenty names so she didn’t accidently let go of the Ctrl key and lose everything we’d been selecting. It’s a lot of pressure to keep holding down that key without slipping up. So it was good to relax in between sets to get ready for that next group of names.
You didn’t think we’d had the baby already did you. ;-)
-Monica
Thursday, December 10, 2009
May I have this dance?
Those of you who follow this blog have surely figured out already that I am crazy about our boy. Seriously, our Danny makes me laugh, makes me beam with pride, and makes me feel all mushy and dreamy inside like 95% of the time (well except for those times that he’s testing my patience of course.)
Yes, he is a gift beyond compare to both me and Susanne.
And as I think about this, I think about something our friend Erin mentioned when her second child was born earlier this year. She said that she never realized how hard it would be to no longer just be a mom to her older toddler daughter. That relationship had to change once little brother came upon the scene. Erin, if you read this feel free to correct my memory of this, but I think you communicated something about how in a way the family had to grieve the loss of the life you’d had with just mom, dad and little AG. Of course now months later, AG probably can’t remember what life was like without her wonderful little brother, but I think that you were on to something with your use of the word grief to express how it felt in transition.
Danny has had our undivided attention for his whole life. Well. Maybe not undivided, but he has only known a world in which we are not too distracted by anyone or anything else. This of course will change soon.
He’ll be a great big brother and we’ll work on strategies to make sure he still gets lots of attention and love but this life that we have known together is going to shift gears.
Yesterday he was home sick after running a fever in the night. I happened to be rereading our copy of the “Happiest Baby on the Block” and was reminded that the same techniques that make babies feel content work for big people too. That’s why swinging in a hammock or listening to the ocean feel so soothing. Danny was starting to get cranky but but really needed to take a nap, so on a whim, I up and did something I haven’t done in a very long time. I hoisted him up onto my left shoulder and holding him tight, started swaying back and forth just like I'd done so many times when he was a baby. We do plenty of rocking in the rocking chair now as he’s grown, but I can’t remember the last time we danced like this.
Our big 27 pound "big boy" melted into my arms and was fast asleep in minutes.
And even though he seemed to get heavier with every passing minute, I couldn’t stop myself from dancing with him just a little while longer. -Monica
P.S. A pic of my very first dance with our number one son on the day he was born in 2007.
Yes, he is a gift beyond compare to both me and Susanne.
And as I think about this, I think about something our friend Erin mentioned when her second child was born earlier this year. She said that she never realized how hard it would be to no longer just be a mom to her older toddler daughter. That relationship had to change once little brother came upon the scene. Erin, if you read this feel free to correct my memory of this, but I think you communicated something about how in a way the family had to grieve the loss of the life you’d had with just mom, dad and little AG. Of course now months later, AG probably can’t remember what life was like without her wonderful little brother, but I think that you were on to something with your use of the word grief to express how it felt in transition.
Danny has had our undivided attention for his whole life. Well. Maybe not undivided, but he has only known a world in which we are not too distracted by anyone or anything else. This of course will change soon.
He’ll be a great big brother and we’ll work on strategies to make sure he still gets lots of attention and love but this life that we have known together is going to shift gears.
Yesterday he was home sick after running a fever in the night. I happened to be rereading our copy of the “Happiest Baby on the Block” and was reminded that the same techniques that make babies feel content work for big people too. That’s why swinging in a hammock or listening to the ocean feel so soothing. Danny was starting to get cranky but but really needed to take a nap, so on a whim, I up and did something I haven’t done in a very long time. I hoisted him up onto my left shoulder and holding him tight, started swaying back and forth just like I'd done so many times when he was a baby. We do plenty of rocking in the rocking chair now as he’s grown, but I can’t remember the last time we danced like this.
Our big 27 pound "big boy" melted into my arms and was fast asleep in minutes.
And even though he seemed to get heavier with every passing minute, I couldn’t stop myself from dancing with him just a little while longer. -Monica
P.S. A pic of my very first dance with our number one son on the day he was born in 2007.
Wednesday, December 09, 2009
Not even remotely capable it seems...
So Danny loves remotes. Oh the joy of pushing buttons! But unfortunately, when he does, I am often reduced to a blubbering mass of total confusion. Let's see? Something about something needing to be on Channel 3, but make sure that the VCR/DVD player is on (or off?) and that the Line 1 or Cable button is properly pressed on the grey one. Or is it the black one? No, no! This TV has a "universal" remote except that it's not very universal.Or is that the one upstairs? Argh!!!
Okay. I think I got it.
I don't got it.
And this ladies and gentlemen is why I knew Susanne was the one for me.
Thank you honey for once again making everything right with the world. And Daniel? If you're going to insist on tracking those remotes down no matter how carefully I think I've hidden them from you, it's time for you to sit down with mama and learn the secret of "fixin' the problem". Clearly I'm a lost cause, but I have a lot of hope for you son. Love, Mommy
P.S. Sounds like my great niece ittle Johanna will need to stay in the hospital a bit longer. Maybe home Thursday? Let's hope so.
Tuesday, December 08, 2009
Feel better baby
Rest well sweetheart. Hopefully whatever the problem is will get figured out and addressed right away.
Her grandmother (my sister) did say that the only even remotely humerous thing to come out of this is when they gave the baby some morphine because of the intense pain she was in, she started sucking her favorite thumb and with a dreamy smile announced that her "thummy was nummy!" (She also then began laughing which sounded sort of like a snorting pig, but she probably won't want to remember that part of the story when she is older.)
The docs think they know what the problem is and how to treat it. Please keep Johanna and her family in your prayers. I hear she is doing better today, but she is one very sick little girl.
Cousin Danny sends hugs and kisses baby. Aunties too. Love, Monica
My pre New Year's Day resolution
I've always thought it interesting how New Year's Day resolutions have such a special place of honor in our lives. Interesting because most January 1st resolutions have to do with getting healthier or losing weight, when ironically most of us have just spent the last month eating and drinking way too much rich stuff. Ah...the holidays!
So. In order to make January a little less stressful for myself (especially with the wee one soon due to make an appearance) I've decided to adopt one simple resolution today, December 8, 2009.
I will be a "cat burglar". Let me explain. You see several years ago I took a W*ight Watcher's class. Our instructor was a real character. She had a very high pitched voice and a very stiff affect. I'll never forget her explaining to us that when we go to holiday parties, we all have to be "cat burglars". We need to "case the joint" when we go to a party and understand what every single food choice is there before we even pick up a plate.
Then and only then could we help ourselves to a plate of food. The unspoken being that fruit, vegetables and fish dishes etc...were probably going to be a better choice than the double cheese lasagne with Death by Chocolate Fudge Layer Cake.
I'll never forget her prancing around the room trying to demonstrate how we could sneakily check everything out at an imaginary party. But as rediculous as her little demo came across, it was actually a very valuable lesson.
Case in point. I just came back to my desk after attending my very first Holiday Party at work. I forgot to be a "cat burglar" and ended up eating two big (okay fattening) sandwiches and some cookies before it dawned on me that I didn't even pick up one healthy item.
So. I am committed. I will take a few minutes to inventory every offering before I pick up my plate for the rest of this season. And I will not weigh one pound more on January 1st than I do today.
Wish me luck! Meow!!! -M
So. In order to make January a little less stressful for myself (especially with the wee one soon due to make an appearance) I've decided to adopt one simple resolution today, December 8, 2009.
I will be a "cat burglar". Let me explain. You see several years ago I took a W*ight Watcher's class. Our instructor was a real character. She had a very high pitched voice and a very stiff affect. I'll never forget her explaining to us that when we go to holiday parties, we all have to be "cat burglars". We need to "case the joint" when we go to a party and understand what every single food choice is there before we even pick up a plate.
Then and only then could we help ourselves to a plate of food. The unspoken being that fruit, vegetables and fish dishes etc...were probably going to be a better choice than the double cheese lasagne with Death by Chocolate Fudge Layer Cake.
I'll never forget her prancing around the room trying to demonstrate how we could sneakily check everything out at an imaginary party. But as rediculous as her little demo came across, it was actually a very valuable lesson.
Case in point. I just came back to my desk after attending my very first Holiday Party at work. I forgot to be a "cat burglar" and ended up eating two big (okay fattening) sandwiches and some cookies before it dawned on me that I didn't even pick up one healthy item.
So. I am committed. I will take a few minutes to inventory every offering before I pick up my plate for the rest of this season. And I will not weigh one pound more on January 1st than I do today.
Wish me luck! Meow!!! -M
Monday, December 07, 2009
Preparing
Su is not a big fan of the "pregnant belly shots", (or any photos of herself in general) but I finally got one that I think she won't hate!
I maybe got one picture of her when she was pregnant with Danny, and here is one I snapped this weekend "backstage" at the children's Advent Play rehearsal at our church. Hard to believe there are only 18 days remaining until the baby is due. We spent a lot of time this weekend getting things ready though, because big brother here decided to come out about 2 weeks early, so as far as we are concerned, this baby could come at any time now too. Su sorted tons of clothes and washed up the ones we'll need for baby. The car seat and bassinet are all set up, and I made several of our favorite meals that are now in the freezer ready to be heated up in a jiffy.
It's really odd to plan for an event without knowing when it will happen exactly right? Looks like I'm going to have to keep practicing patience. Argh! I'm not very good at that! -Monica
I maybe got one picture of her when she was pregnant with Danny, and here is one I snapped this weekend "backstage" at the children's Advent Play rehearsal at our church. Hard to believe there are only 18 days remaining until the baby is due. We spent a lot of time this weekend getting things ready though, because big brother here decided to come out about 2 weeks early, so as far as we are concerned, this baby could come at any time now too. Su sorted tons of clothes and washed up the ones we'll need for baby. The car seat and bassinet are all set up, and I made several of our favorite meals that are now in the freezer ready to be heated up in a jiffy.
It's really odd to plan for an event without knowing when it will happen exactly right? Looks like I'm going to have to keep practicing patience. Argh! I'm not very good at that! -Monica
Thursday, December 03, 2009
Actually there really is a stupid question…
Remember that saying “the only stupid question is the one that doesn’t get asked?” Well, as it turns out, that’s a bunch of hogwash. How do I know this? Judge for yourself…
Last night as Su and I snuggled, I was really enjoying feeling the baby wiggle and move. Every time I’d press gently on her belly the baby would respond in kind. It was really sweet.
Then suddenly, my hand was actually airborne for a moment, courtesy of an amazingly hard kick or hipcheck or who knows what.
In shock, I looked at Susanne and asked in the most incredulous tone you can imagine,
“Honey, did you feel that?????”
I rest my case. It was indeed, quite possibly the stupidest question I have ever asked in my life. At least up til now. ;-)
-Monica
Last night as Su and I snuggled, I was really enjoying feeling the baby wiggle and move. Every time I’d press gently on her belly the baby would respond in kind. It was really sweet.
Then suddenly, my hand was actually airborne for a moment, courtesy of an amazingly hard kick or hipcheck or who knows what.
In shock, I looked at Susanne and asked in the most incredulous tone you can imagine,
“Honey, did you feel that?????”
I rest my case. It was indeed, quite possibly the stupidest question I have ever asked in my life. At least up til now. ;-)
-Monica
Wednesday, December 02, 2009
Danny and his Nana
Danny has fun reading "Potty Time with Elmo" with Su's mom (aka NANA!) over Thansgiving. Hey...is it just me, or does it look like he is not taking this "learning how to use the potty" thing very seriously? ;-)
Tuesday, December 01, 2009
Yes!
Today the DC City Council took the first of two votes to decide whether to pass legislation to allow for gay marriage in the District of Columbia. I'd written a post in October about my disappointment that the Council Member who represents the ward where we live was in opposition to the bill before it was even presented. I even included a bit of the e-mail exchange I'd had with him back then trying to get him to consider being a co-sponsor of the bill at that time. He did not ultimately sign on as a co-sponsor in October and I felt bad, but since such a majority was in favor of the bill, in a way his vote wasn't important. But to me it was. He knew me and my family and maybe I took it a little personally.
So as I watched the hearing live online this morning, I actually started to cry when he began speaking because he was explaining that after a lot of deliberation, he'd changed his mind! He actually voted "YES" today! I got Su on the phone once I realized that he was providing a rationale for voting "yes" and so we both heard him vote "AYE".
I am so happy! I know that he's going to get a lot of pushback from some of his constituents, but his remarks regarding discrimination were excellent. I'm sure they will be published later but for now all I remember is that he said he could not vote to discriminate against people.
I just wrote him a note to thank him. I had not idea that he was going to vote "yes". What a wonderful thing it was to see and hear! The measure passed today by a vote of 11 "yes" votes to 2 "no" votes. -Monica
P.S. After the final vote around Dec. 15th, the mayor has already said he will sign it and then it will go to congress for a 30 day reveiw before becoming law (if congress doesn't do anything to stop it). Wow!
So as I watched the hearing live online this morning, I actually started to cry when he began speaking because he was explaining that after a lot of deliberation, he'd changed his mind! He actually voted "YES" today! I got Su on the phone once I realized that he was providing a rationale for voting "yes" and so we both heard him vote "AYE".
I am so happy! I know that he's going to get a lot of pushback from some of his constituents, but his remarks regarding discrimination were excellent. I'm sure they will be published later but for now all I remember is that he said he could not vote to discriminate against people.
I just wrote him a note to thank him. I had not idea that he was going to vote "yes". What a wonderful thing it was to see and hear! The measure passed today by a vote of 11 "yes" votes to 2 "no" votes. -Monica
P.S. After the final vote around Dec. 15th, the mayor has already said he will sign it and then it will go to congress for a 30 day reveiw before becoming law (if congress doesn't do anything to stop it). Wow!
An Advent Adventure!
Danny was delighted this morning to find colorful bags tied up with pretty ribbons cascading down the staircase. We told him it was the first day of Advent and that every day from December 1st – December 24th he’d get to cut a ribbon and open a new bag!
Needless to say, Advent is now his favorite time of the year.
Susanne did a fabulous job sewing each little bag and coming up with clever little gifts for each. Don’t tell him, but he’s going to be seeing some matchbox cars, chocolate Santas, little story books and other fun presents in the days to come. Some gifts are practical, some are whimsical and some are gosh darn delicious so every day will be an adventure! Fantasic job honey!
I love the “green” aspect of sewing the bags so they can be reused each year. This advent “calendar” idea is one that Susanne’s family did when she was growing up and I love seeing such a wonderful tradition passed on to the next generation.
Without further ado, here’s Danny’s first day of Advent.
Needless to say, Advent is now his favorite time of the year.
Susanne did a fabulous job sewing each little bag and coming up with clever little gifts for each. Don’t tell him, but he’s going to be seeing some matchbox cars, chocolate Santas, little story books and other fun presents in the days to come. Some gifts are practical, some are whimsical and some are gosh darn delicious so every day will be an adventure! Fantasic job honey!
I love the “green” aspect of sewing the bags so they can be reused each year. This advent “calendar” idea is one that Susanne’s family did when she was growing up and I love seeing such a wonderful tradition passed on to the next generation.
Without further ado, here’s Danny’s first day of Advent.
Monday, November 30, 2009
Memory of memories
I got to thinking the other day that if blogs that many parents keep stand the test of time, some incidents will surely become a part of our children's memory of childhood.
But the thing is, a lot of our memories of childhood are not really our memories. They are the stories that were told enough times that they became sort of folklore. In our family for instance I once had to go to the doctor to get my stomach x-rayed because my older sister reported that I'd eaten a roofing nail. Apparently when I realized all of the concern this seemed to engender, I happy corroborated the story and the rest is history. There was no nail. But I got a heck of a lot of attention which was pretty precious in a large family.
But I was young. Maybe three or almost three. And although I could swear to you that I remember the event is detail, I really don't remember it at all. I just remember what the others told me.
So, I wonder if there is only so much room for these family stories in our collective memories. Will our babies too think they "remember" these things? But think of the difference in volume. I have probably 3 or 4 stories that have stood the test of time and are "Monica stories" in my family's "folklore". Danny has at least 100 on this blog already.
And what of the fact that often siblings have very different memories life in their households. If a blogger tells a story and no one is there to challenge it or correct it, is it rendered "the truth"? Isn't all truth relative to one's own experience anyway?
Did I mention that I have a reputation in my family as being an "embellisher"? Every story I tell is a bit more grandiose and colorful than what really happened. Or so it is said. Keep that in mind little Daniel, as you one day read this blog. Or worse yet when someone you have a crush on learns all kinds of embarrassing things your mommy wrote about your with a simple search on the WayBackMachine.
That's all I've got to say today. But tomorrow, fortunately, is another day! -Monica
P.S. Not to say that I think blogging is in any way a bad thing. It's really just a diary. A web log to be exact (that's where the word "blog" came from.)
But the thing is, a lot of our memories of childhood are not really our memories. They are the stories that were told enough times that they became sort of folklore. In our family for instance I once had to go to the doctor to get my stomach x-rayed because my older sister reported that I'd eaten a roofing nail. Apparently when I realized all of the concern this seemed to engender, I happy corroborated the story and the rest is history. There was no nail. But I got a heck of a lot of attention which was pretty precious in a large family.
But I was young. Maybe three or almost three. And although I could swear to you that I remember the event is detail, I really don't remember it at all. I just remember what the others told me.
So, I wonder if there is only so much room for these family stories in our collective memories. Will our babies too think they "remember" these things? But think of the difference in volume. I have probably 3 or 4 stories that have stood the test of time and are "Monica stories" in my family's "folklore". Danny has at least 100 on this blog already.
And what of the fact that often siblings have very different memories life in their households. If a blogger tells a story and no one is there to challenge it or correct it, is it rendered "the truth"? Isn't all truth relative to one's own experience anyway?
Did I mention that I have a reputation in my family as being an "embellisher"? Every story I tell is a bit more grandiose and colorful than what really happened. Or so it is said. Keep that in mind little Daniel, as you one day read this blog. Or worse yet when someone you have a crush on learns all kinds of embarrassing things your mommy wrote about your with a simple search on the WayBackMachine.
That's all I've got to say today. But tomorrow, fortunately, is another day! -Monica
P.S. Not to say that I think blogging is in any way a bad thing. It's really just a diary. A web log to be exact (that's where the word "blog" came from.)
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
To all the "funny e-mail" forwarders out there...
It's called a "blind cc". That way when you forward what you think is a hilarious e-mail, no one has to wade through a long list of your friends, your friend's friends and your friend's friend's friends e-mail addresses.
You know. To read your "funny" e-mail.
But don't stop sending them. Much like I have a hard time admitting that that from time to time I actually read the National Enq*irer, I also must admit I enjoy your "funnies".
Happy Thanksgiving everybody! -Monica
P.S. The Reader's Digest dramatic rescue stories always make me cry too. How do they do that?
You know. To read your "funny" e-mail.
But don't stop sending them. Much like I have a hard time admitting that that from time to time I actually read the National Enq*irer, I also must admit I enjoy your "funnies".
Happy Thanksgiving everybody! -Monica
P.S. The Reader's Digest dramatic rescue stories always make me cry too. How do they do that?
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
My Rubik’s Cube Theory
So perhaps those of you who already have more than one child can help me out with a theory that I'm incubating. (Pun intended).
My thought is that having one child keeps you busy but at least there are several options that are available for different scenarios if there are two parents in the mix. You kind of negotiate things like “you take Danny food shopping and I’ll take care of this other task”. Or “how about if I blah, blah blah…and you blah, blah, blah.” You know, simple things like that.
But with more than one child to coordinate, I have a sense that things can get exponentially more complicated.
This thought came to me last week when Su and I took Danny to Home Depot to get some wood and stuff to make his loft bed. We needed a truck, but since we hadn’t arranged for anyone to watch Danny (it was a Federal Holiday) we also needed to take him. Our friend with the truck was happy to lend it, but she needed to pick someone up at the airport. So of course we said she could use our car. Then we realized we’d need to figure something else out since there was no way to get a car seat in the truck.
Luck had it that we were able to borrow yet another friend’s car and off we went—me and Danny following Su who was in the pickup on this great adventure!
We bought tons (I want to say literally) of lumber and plywood. We were in a bit of a hurry to get the borrowed car back home when, just as we were ready to head to the check out area, Danny required a diaper change. (Let’s just say it was a stinker).
Not wanting Susanne to be doing any unnecessary lifting etc…my plan had been to push all the heavy stuff to the checkout area, leave him with her to pay while I went to get the truck, then I’d load up the truck and finally walk back our borrowed car with Danny to head back home again in tandem.
But now he was in serious need of a diaper change. I felt stumped. The bathroom was seemingly a mile away and it made no sense for Susanne to deal with Mr. Squirmy Wormy “I HATE getting my diaper changed on those little fold down tables”, so we decided I would take him to the bathroom.
In the meanwhile, (again, we were in a bit of a hurry) Susanne pushed the heavy cart up to the front, paid, and then went out to get the truck (did I mention it was pouring rain outside?) She’s very quick to point out that she is not an invalid. Which I agree is true, but I also really don’t think she needs to be lifting (or even pushing) anything heavy when she's 8 months pregnant when I can do it for her (which she also agrees with to a certain extent, and just a certain extent.)
Long story short, I realized in this moment of “what do we do now?” that with two babies life is going to be more complicated than it is now. I know Danny is almost 2 ½ and can help more and more, but I have a feeling that there will be a lot more discussions and options on the table about who needs to do what and when (and how and where.)
There. Those are my rambling thoughts for the day. Parents of more than one? (or anyone for that matter?) Any insights? -Monica
Monday, November 23, 2009
I got nothing...
Been trying to think of what to blog about, but I've run out of time. Must go home. Yeah!
Tune in tomorrow. Who knows what could happen between now and then! -Monica
Tune in tomorrow. Who knows what could happen between now and then! -Monica
Friday, November 20, 2009
The dawning of awareness...
The little guy loves to sing and play music. He takes our Swiffer moppy thing and holds it like a guitar, then pretends he's singing into a microphone (he gets that from me because I sing in front of a microphone with our group at church every Sunday.)
He likes me to either accompany him with either our drum, my real guitar or like today on his little toy keyboard, which has always been fun.
Until today. You see, as I tapped out the "ABC" song, followed by "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" and then "Baa Baa Blacksheep" it all became clear.
THEY ARE THE SAME EXACT SONG. Sure the rhythm is different for each but they are the exact same tune. Go ahead, give them a hum.See what I'm saying?
What next? The sun doesn't actually come up each morning like Danny commands it to? Wait? Didn't Galileo have a theory on the earth revolving around the sun? So rising and setting are just sort of figments of our imagination? Oh, this just gets worse and worse.
So many deep thoughts. So little time. Have a great weekend everybody ;-)
-Monica
He likes me to either accompany him with either our drum, my real guitar or like today on his little toy keyboard, which has always been fun.
Until today. You see, as I tapped out the "ABC" song, followed by "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" and then "Baa Baa Blacksheep" it all became clear.
THEY ARE THE SAME EXACT SONG. Sure the rhythm is different for each but they are the exact same tune. Go ahead, give them a hum.See what I'm saying?
What next? The sun doesn't actually come up each morning like Danny commands it to? Wait? Didn't Galileo have a theory on the earth revolving around the sun? So rising and setting are just sort of figments of our imagination? Oh, this just gets worse and worse.
So many deep thoughts. So little time. Have a great weekend everybody ;-)
-Monica
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Say what?
Su and I like to think we do a pretty good job of translating Danny's burgeoning English, but this week we both had moments where we had to pause.
The first was when he was running excitedly around while contruction of his new bed was going on yelling "kicking butt! kicking butt!" Huh?
But apparently he was yelling "fixing bed! fixing bed!" Ohhhh.... (Good use of the gerund though buddy!)
Then last night when we were driving downtown to get Su, I suddenly stopped my singing mid-note after hearing what I swear sounded like "shut up! shut up!". I will admit I felt a little shattered. We always used to tell our mom not to sing when we were kids and I guess I was now getting my just desserts.
To be sure though I asked "what did you say?"
"Sun up! Sun up!" Awesome. He was just mad that the sun had gone down for the night!
And now, back to my favorite song. -Monica
The first was when he was running excitedly around while contruction of his new bed was going on yelling "kicking butt! kicking butt!" Huh?
But apparently he was yelling "fixing bed! fixing bed!" Ohhhh.... (Good use of the gerund though buddy!)
Then last night when we were driving downtown to get Su, I suddenly stopped my singing mid-note after hearing what I swear sounded like "shut up! shut up!". I will admit I felt a little shattered. We always used to tell our mom not to sing when we were kids and I guess I was now getting my just desserts.
To be sure though I asked "what did you say?"
"Sun up! Sun up!" Awesome. He was just mad that the sun had gone down for the night!
And now, back to my favorite song. -Monica
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Big Boy Bed!
This weekend marked a new stage in Danny's life. Life in a "big boy bed". He not only moved into it, but actually helped make it. Sort of. That task actually fell to Susanne and her dad. I am relieved, I must admit, that Danny seems very interested in all this planning and measuring and building. I'd really like him to be as handy as Su and her parents, and it appears he is! He even had his own little tool kit with him at all times to help and thought it was really fun to take down the crib.
The bed is actually a small loft that was designed so that we can easily take it apart and move it from the little room Danny is in now to the larger room he will share with his new sibling starting next summer. It's got about 36" of space underneath to play (which he is loving) and guard rails that conform to all the safety standards.
Su had scoped out how much it would cost to buy such a bed online, and they were amazingly expensive. So she found some basic plans which she altered to fit our needs and diagrammed everything. Then we bought and lugged home all the 2"x"4s and 4"x4"s and plywood we'd need in our neighbor's truck. Then Danny's PopPop came up for the weekend and the sawing and the drilling and the bolt ratcheting etc...began in earnest.
I was in charge of keeping everyone fed and watered and also getting Danny out of the house for some long stretches so they could work without distraction.
And how has Danny adjusted to his new "big boy bed"? He is so proud! We've had to adjust some of our night time routine but he's been cool with it. And he's slept through the night without waking up once most nights since it went up. First thing in the morning he says "Danny has big bed!" Seriously, this new twin mattress has got to be a lot more comfortable than the very firm infant mattress he's been on since he went into the crib. No wonder he's sleeping so well.
We still have to affix some handles to help him climb up better. The steps are a bit too wide for him to grab on well enough to lift himself, but other than that it's awesome. I will admit that I have been nervous that he might fall out, but Danny was never one to even climb out of his crib. He could have for months now, but just didn't want to. He prefers to call for one of us to come get him. Let's keep thinking that way little guy okay? Once the new handles are in place he'll be able to get in and out on his own which makes me feel better too. His cousins in Germany had similar beds at the same age so I feel less and less anxious about him falling every day. And now, with no further ado, here are a few pics.
P.S. Great building job family!
The bed is actually a small loft that was designed so that we can easily take it apart and move it from the little room Danny is in now to the larger room he will share with his new sibling starting next summer. It's got about 36" of space underneath to play (which he is loving) and guard rails that conform to all the safety standards.
Su had scoped out how much it would cost to buy such a bed online, and they were amazingly expensive. So she found some basic plans which she altered to fit our needs and diagrammed everything. Then we bought and lugged home all the 2"x"4s and 4"x4"s and plywood we'd need in our neighbor's truck. Then Danny's PopPop came up for the weekend and the sawing and the drilling and the bolt ratcheting etc...began in earnest.
I was in charge of keeping everyone fed and watered and also getting Danny out of the house for some long stretches so they could work without distraction.
And how has Danny adjusted to his new "big boy bed"? He is so proud! We've had to adjust some of our night time routine but he's been cool with it. And he's slept through the night without waking up once most nights since it went up. First thing in the morning he says "Danny has big bed!" Seriously, this new twin mattress has got to be a lot more comfortable than the very firm infant mattress he's been on since he went into the crib. No wonder he's sleeping so well.
We still have to affix some handles to help him climb up better. The steps are a bit too wide for him to grab on well enough to lift himself, but other than that it's awesome. I will admit that I have been nervous that he might fall out, but Danny was never one to even climb out of his crib. He could have for months now, but just didn't want to. He prefers to call for one of us to come get him. Let's keep thinking that way little guy okay? Once the new handles are in place he'll be able to get in and out on his own which makes me feel better too. His cousins in Germany had similar beds at the same age so I feel less and less anxious about him falling every day. And now, with no further ado, here are a few pics.
P.S. Great building job family!
Monday, November 16, 2009
Drawing near...
With the baby due on Christmas Day, it seems like Christmas is far away, and yet almost here at the same time. In 6 weeks Susanne will hit that milestone of 40 weeks, but actually a baby is considered full term at 37 weeks. And 37 weeks is only 3 weeks away. Wow. Danny made his grand entrance into the world at 38 weeks so the baby coming a bit early would not be that surprising.
Are we ready? I many ways I think so. Baby clothes? Check. Stroller/Carseat? Check? Sleeping and changing area? Check. Tons of infant friendly items? Again check.
But are you ever really ready? How can you feel like you already know someone, this tiny bundle of joy, completely and perfectly, and yet also feel like a complete stranger is coming into your lives and will forever change life as you know it?
How can you wish every minute that the baby would just get here already, and in the next moment be thinking that it's incredibly important to savor this time in our lives where Su and Danny and I have a rhythm and pace that is good and comfortable?
We know that everything will change, and that we'll have a new "normal", but it will take some getting used to.
The best part is that we know that the change that is coming is distinctive. It's the difference between knowing that there is a bill in the mail for you for a million dollars, versus knowing there is a check in the mail for you for a million dollars!
My last thought on this is that for me, the baby coming at Christmas time has been very cool because there are so many indications that sort of prepare you for that special day (at least those of us who are Christians.). We are entering into a time of waiting for Jesus's birth--advent. It's all very symbolic and awe-inspiring. And so our waiting is sort of in parallel in my mind.
You know, I've seen the TV commercials hawking Christmas already and they have not touched my heart. Store decorations too. They are artificial to me. But this morning, bringing Danny to Jenni's, I saw a house with a Christmas wreath on the door. Not a big garish display of reindeer or a Santa Snowglobe or anything. Just a simple wreath--and in that moment I truly felt in my heart that the season of Christmas is drawing nearer. For real.
And that made me smile and feel an excitement I've not yet felt. Our baby's time to come and be with us is truly drawing near now. And as hard as change can be, this change is the most welcome change I could ever imagine. Our own little lamb from God! How blessed we are. How awesome. -Monica
Are we ready? I many ways I think so. Baby clothes? Check. Stroller/Carseat? Check? Sleeping and changing area? Check. Tons of infant friendly items? Again check.
But are you ever really ready? How can you feel like you already know someone, this tiny bundle of joy, completely and perfectly, and yet also feel like a complete stranger is coming into your lives and will forever change life as you know it?
How can you wish every minute that the baby would just get here already, and in the next moment be thinking that it's incredibly important to savor this time in our lives where Su and Danny and I have a rhythm and pace that is good and comfortable?
We know that everything will change, and that we'll have a new "normal", but it will take some getting used to.
The best part is that we know that the change that is coming is distinctive. It's the difference between knowing that there is a bill in the mail for you for a million dollars, versus knowing there is a check in the mail for you for a million dollars!
My last thought on this is that for me, the baby coming at Christmas time has been very cool because there are so many indications that sort of prepare you for that special day (at least those of us who are Christians.). We are entering into a time of waiting for Jesus's birth--advent. It's all very symbolic and awe-inspiring. And so our waiting is sort of in parallel in my mind.
You know, I've seen the TV commercials hawking Christmas already and they have not touched my heart. Store decorations too. They are artificial to me. But this morning, bringing Danny to Jenni's, I saw a house with a Christmas wreath on the door. Not a big garish display of reindeer or a Santa Snowglobe or anything. Just a simple wreath--and in that moment I truly felt in my heart that the season of Christmas is drawing nearer. For real.
And that made me smile and feel an excitement I've not yet felt. Our baby's time to come and be with us is truly drawing near now. And as hard as change can be, this change is the most welcome change I could ever imagine. Our own little lamb from God! How blessed we are. How awesome. -Monica
Friday, November 13, 2009
Of all things seen and unseen
If you see me walking around today, I'll most likely be shaking my head in disbelief over the latest in the saga of the District of Columbia's City Council's attempt to pass legislation to allow for same sex marriage.
You see yesterday, the Catholic Church announced that if the law passes they will end its contracts with the DC government. You know, those contracts that help them feed the poor. This article and this article in today's Washington Post give great overviews of what's going on.
So let's see if we can sum this up? The Church would not have to let gay people get married in their churches. They would not have to let gay couples rent their properties for ceremonies or parties. But as the article cited above says " they would have to obey city laws prohibiting discrimination against gay men and lesbians"
Yes, you read that right. And so "Church officials say Catholic Charities would have to suspend its social services work for the city, rather than provide employee benefits to same-sex married couples or allow them to adopt".
Funny how the Church did not give this same ultimatum when Connecticut approved gay marriage. Hmmm...could it be that DC is so small compared to other such places, the Church saw it as a good place to make a point? Then they should make their point everywhere. But they won't. That would not be good for the bottom line.
And in all honesty whatever your opinion on whether gay people should have to opportunity in this society to marry and adopt children, I hope that you can agree that there is something inherently wrong, dare I say unchristian, about using the poor as pawns in a something that is no game.
The DC City Council to their credit does not appear interested in negotiating with such strong arm tactics. They will find the money (roughly 20M per year) elsewhere to continue these social services in some way shape or form. But who suffers in this kind of transition? I think you know.
You know the Church over time has completely changed its views on usury and slavery. So maybe all we need is more time for it to change its views on this. But that won't happen soon I'm afraid.
You know, I thought I was as disappointed as I could ever be with the Church when I left it 5 years ago. But I was wrong. -Monica
You see yesterday, the Catholic Church announced that if the law passes they will end its contracts with the DC government. You know, those contracts that help them feed the poor. This article and this article in today's Washington Post give great overviews of what's going on.
So let's see if we can sum this up? The Church would not have to let gay people get married in their churches. They would not have to let gay couples rent their properties for ceremonies or parties. But as the article cited above says " they would have to obey city laws prohibiting discrimination against gay men and lesbians"
Yes, you read that right. And so "Church officials say Catholic Charities would have to suspend its social services work for the city, rather than provide employee benefits to same-sex married couples or allow them to adopt".
Funny how the Church did not give this same ultimatum when Connecticut approved gay marriage. Hmmm...could it be that DC is so small compared to other such places, the Church saw it as a good place to make a point? Then they should make their point everywhere. But they won't. That would not be good for the bottom line.
And in all honesty whatever your opinion on whether gay people should have to opportunity in this society to marry and adopt children, I hope that you can agree that there is something inherently wrong, dare I say unchristian, about using the poor as pawns in a something that is no game.
The DC City Council to their credit does not appear interested in negotiating with such strong arm tactics. They will find the money (roughly 20M per year) elsewhere to continue these social services in some way shape or form. But who suffers in this kind of transition? I think you know.
You know the Church over time has completely changed its views on usury and slavery. So maybe all we need is more time for it to change its views on this. But that won't happen soon I'm afraid.
You know, I thought I was as disappointed as I could ever be with the Church when I left it 5 years ago. But I was wrong. -Monica
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Requited
I had a little e-mail conversation the other day with one of my favorite bloggers. Xbox4NappyRash, an Irish guy who lives in the Netherlands, shared a tremendous amount of information (in a most entertaining way) about his and his wife’s two year journey of trying to conceive (also known as TTC).
They finally saw their dream come true last spring when they found out they were pregnant (due a month after Su), and as I’ve read his blog in recent months, I’ve noticed two things.
1. He is the happiest guy in the world; and
2. For some reason, his commenters seem a bit less plentiful and a bit less humored.
For instance he wrote about his wife going to a prenatal fitness and well being class a while back and he got lots of comments from people aghast that he wasn’t at the class too. He clarified that he’d be going to some meetings later but again, these were not the kind of comments Xbox used to get. This is just one of a few examples I’ve noticed of a little more judgment and a little less cheering.
So it got me thinking that the difference is that he was one of the few men in the blogosphere who blogged honestly and painfully about the ups and downs of TTC and while he did so he was a hero! His identity was that of the super guy who “communicated” and “shared his feelings”. Now he was some sort of Neanderthal who was probably going to camp out in the hospital waiting room passing out cigars and never once change a diaper.
As he blogged during the two years of trying, he basically also continually failed at attaining all that he and his wife wanted. A baby. They were so “unrequited” for so long. And on some level that made it fun to go back for more.
After all, isn’t it human nature to keep watching unrequited love? Remember the show Moonlighting? Or today we have shows like Bones and NCSI. If Dr. Brennan and Agent Booth got together would Bones still hold its same appeal? What about Tony and Zeva? (Do I watch too much TV?)
My point is, when Xbox and his wife got pregnant they kind of took on a new identity in the blogosphere. Instead of TTC they are Expecting.
His blog posts are still so clever but infused with great happiness where as before they ranged from hope to bitterness and angst to despair (and back again). So this shift to happy Xbox has been an adjustment for many. And probably for some, too painful to read as they still struggle to get pregnant. Or maybe for some the suspense is gone now so it's time to move on? I don't know. But I do know that I still love to keep up.
For his part, he’s shared that “you can't control other people, you can influence what they get to read about you, but that’s not the whole truth, never is.” He also said that he’s no angel, but no devil either.
I think he’s gonna be a really great dad. -Monica
They finally saw their dream come true last spring when they found out they were pregnant (due a month after Su), and as I’ve read his blog in recent months, I’ve noticed two things.
1. He is the happiest guy in the world; and
2. For some reason, his commenters seem a bit less plentiful and a bit less humored.
For instance he wrote about his wife going to a prenatal fitness and well being class a while back and he got lots of comments from people aghast that he wasn’t at the class too. He clarified that he’d be going to some meetings later but again, these were not the kind of comments Xbox used to get. This is just one of a few examples I’ve noticed of a little more judgment and a little less cheering.
So it got me thinking that the difference is that he was one of the few men in the blogosphere who blogged honestly and painfully about the ups and downs of TTC and while he did so he was a hero! His identity was that of the super guy who “communicated” and “shared his feelings”. Now he was some sort of Neanderthal who was probably going to camp out in the hospital waiting room passing out cigars and never once change a diaper.
As he blogged during the two years of trying, he basically also continually failed at attaining all that he and his wife wanted. A baby. They were so “unrequited” for so long. And on some level that made it fun to go back for more.
After all, isn’t it human nature to keep watching unrequited love? Remember the show Moonlighting? Or today we have shows like Bones and NCSI. If Dr. Brennan and Agent Booth got together would Bones still hold its same appeal? What about Tony and Zeva? (Do I watch too much TV?)
My point is, when Xbox and his wife got pregnant they kind of took on a new identity in the blogosphere. Instead of TTC they are Expecting.
His blog posts are still so clever but infused with great happiness where as before they ranged from hope to bitterness and angst to despair (and back again). So this shift to happy Xbox has been an adjustment for many. And probably for some, too painful to read as they still struggle to get pregnant. Or maybe for some the suspense is gone now so it's time to move on? I don't know. But I do know that I still love to keep up.
For his part, he’s shared that “you can't control other people, you can influence what they get to read about you, but that’s not the whole truth, never is.” He also said that he’s no angel, but no devil either.
I think he’s gonna be a really great dad. -Monica
Saturday, November 07, 2009
Scared straight
Remember that TV show where they took troubled kids into jails and scared the heck out of them in hopes that they'd stay away from a life of crime? It was called "Scared Straight".
This weekend a longtime friend who was in Americorps with Susanne came for a visit. She's at one of those watershed kinds of moments in her life where she's ready for a change (job, probably location etc...) and drove up to spend a weekend with us to talk through some of her options.
Her name is Constance (not really) and she's got a very serene life. Two cats, lots of peace and quiet but a job that doesn't really work for her. After approximately 12 hours with us, including Danny and a couple other toddlers on the block she suddenly realized that some things about her life were actually pretty good. And peaceful.
Constance, we totally get you. Little kids are demanding. And awesome. And exhausting. And amazing. And, well, you get the drift.
We are so glad you came to visit. Sometimes stepping away from life for a few days helps you realize what you've got .
Excuse me. I've got to go and extract Danny's blanket from the refrigerator. Love, Monica (and Su)
This weekend a longtime friend who was in Americorps with Susanne came for a visit. She's at one of those watershed kinds of moments in her life where she's ready for a change (job, probably location etc...) and drove up to spend a weekend with us to talk through some of her options.
Her name is Constance (not really) and she's got a very serene life. Two cats, lots of peace and quiet but a job that doesn't really work for her. After approximately 12 hours with us, including Danny and a couple other toddlers on the block she suddenly realized that some things about her life were actually pretty good. And peaceful.
Constance, we totally get you. Little kids are demanding. And awesome. And exhausting. And amazing. And, well, you get the drift.
We are so glad you came to visit. Sometimes stepping away from life for a few days helps you realize what you've got .
Excuse me. I've got to go and extract Danny's blanket from the refrigerator. Love, Monica (and Su)
Thursday, November 05, 2009
My imaginary want ad...
Seeking out spontaneous friend who lives far away to text me while I’m in a boring meeting to say “I just flew into DC--wanna get lunch in an hour?” Friend must be one of those people that goes way back, and totally makes my day.
I love it when my daydreams come true!
Thanks for getting in touch with me today Amy! As always it’s wonderful seeing you, and I’m so touched that you found time to see me during your quick work trip out here. I love surprises like this!
Amy and I have been friends for a long time now, and we share something in common. We both have uber accomplished spouses. Her Matt is a brilliant lawyer, marathoner, mechanic, chef etc., etc. My Susanne is fabulous at everything else (and could totally beat Matt in a cooking contest I say!) Or so our ongoing “argument” goes. They are both cute as can be too.
I would like to add, however, that even though Amy talked highly of Matt’s next project plan to build a garage with a hydraulic lift, she had to concede defeat when I told her that Susanne grew 17 million brain cells for the baby yesterday.
What a fun lunch! Thanks again Amy. Catch you in Minnesota next time! –Monica
P.S. Hugs to Matt and the kiddies!
I love it when my daydreams come true!
Thanks for getting in touch with me today Amy! As always it’s wonderful seeing you, and I’m so touched that you found time to see me during your quick work trip out here. I love surprises like this!
Amy and I have been friends for a long time now, and we share something in common. We both have uber accomplished spouses. Her Matt is a brilliant lawyer, marathoner, mechanic, chef etc., etc. My Susanne is fabulous at everything else (and could totally beat Matt in a cooking contest I say!) Or so our ongoing “argument” goes. They are both cute as can be too.
I would like to add, however, that even though Amy talked highly of Matt’s next project plan to build a garage with a hydraulic lift, she had to concede defeat when I told her that Susanne grew 17 million brain cells for the baby yesterday.
What a fun lunch! Thanks again Amy. Catch you in Minnesota next time! –Monica
P.S. Hugs to Matt and the kiddies!
Tuesday, November 03, 2009
Just Another Sunshine Day...
Fact: When I was away from home for 3 nights last week, two year old Danny slept pretty peacefully each night and Susanne actually had to WAKE HIM UP by 7:30 to make sure he got something to eat before going to Jenni’s.
Fact: When I have been home for the other 877 nights in his life, he has been known to begin his supplications at around 4:00 am. (Oh and by the way, with the baby due next month, I've been getting up nights with Danny as necessary. Happy, happy, joy, joy!)
“Mommy! Mama! Mommy! Mama!”
“Num Num! Num Num! (Yes, this means Yum Yum or "I'm hungry people!)
“Sun up! Sun up!”
“Choo Choo Mouse! Choo Choo Mouse! (This is a Mickey Mouse cartoon).
“Boo Boo. Danny Boo Boo.” (He does not really have a boo boo. He is crying wolf.)
MOMMY? MAMA? OUT! OUT! DANNY OUT!”
Best case scenario? He stops his litany after 3 or 4 words and drifts back to sleep. And sometimes I can soothe him with a quiet word and a well placed blanket or even rock him back to sleep in less than a minute. But sometimes, (and this is especially true with this week’s daylight savings time change) there is no stopping the escalation.
Like this morning. He really didn’t eat much for supper last night so his cries for food were actually believable. So I decided to take him downstairs and give him a banana and some milk. This has been known to be the magic elixir. But this morning he was not willing to simply relax into my arms to go back to bed. But up we went anyway.
So began the 20 minutes of full on crying and fighting with the door in his bedroom as I refused to let him out. I sat on the floor with his favorite blanket and eventually he came over to me and collapsed into my arms and finally let me lay him down. He was up again an hour later at 5:30 really ready to start his day. Yawn.
So where was I going with this? Oh right. He slept so great when I was not home. What does it all mean? Is it me? Oh, and by the way, I think he’s starting to believe that he can command the sun to come up. So far it has every morning, much to his delight ;-) -Monica
Fact: When I have been home for the other 877 nights in his life, he has been known to begin his supplications at around 4:00 am. (Oh and by the way, with the baby due next month, I've been getting up nights with Danny as necessary. Happy, happy, joy, joy!)
“Mommy! Mama! Mommy! Mama!”
“Num Num! Num Num! (Yes, this means Yum Yum or "I'm hungry people!)
“Sun up! Sun up!”
“Choo Choo Mouse! Choo Choo Mouse! (This is a Mickey Mouse cartoon).
“Boo Boo. Danny Boo Boo.” (He does not really have a boo boo. He is crying wolf.)
MOMMY? MAMA? OUT! OUT! DANNY OUT!”
Best case scenario? He stops his litany after 3 or 4 words and drifts back to sleep. And sometimes I can soothe him with a quiet word and a well placed blanket or even rock him back to sleep in less than a minute. But sometimes, (and this is especially true with this week’s daylight savings time change) there is no stopping the escalation.
Like this morning. He really didn’t eat much for supper last night so his cries for food were actually believable. So I decided to take him downstairs and give him a banana and some milk. This has been known to be the magic elixir. But this morning he was not willing to simply relax into my arms to go back to bed. But up we went anyway.
So began the 20 minutes of full on crying and fighting with the door in his bedroom as I refused to let him out. I sat on the floor with his favorite blanket and eventually he came over to me and collapsed into my arms and finally let me lay him down. He was up again an hour later at 5:30 really ready to start his day. Yawn.
So where was I going with this? Oh right. He slept so great when I was not home. What does it all mean? Is it me? Oh, and by the way, I think he’s starting to believe that he can command the sun to come up. So far it has every morning, much to his delight ;-) -Monica
Monday, November 02, 2009
Bee Happy!
Yup. Just Bee happy. Danny sure was this Halloween! Happy autumn everybody. -Monica (and Su and Danny)
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