We had a ZOOPER time in MN last weekend!

 

Our perfect 10...

Now, I don't think of myself as particularly superstitious, but maybe on some very deep level I am.

So can I just tell you on this 7th day of October 2010 the following trivia?

Ten days from now, in the tenth month of the tenth year of the century, our little Benjamin will turn ten months old!

Okay, okay. It would have been cooler if he actually turned ten on 10/10/10, but we were not having babies back in the year 2000, so this will have to do.

Have a great day everybody! -M

I got the "first Thursday morning" blues

Seriously. What is it with the first Thursday of every month? I am always pretty aware when the first Thurday rolls around as I have a standing meeting of a Federal Council that I report out at. And in the past 6 months it has become increasingly clear that the day is cursed.

I think 5 out of the last 6 months I've had to call in rather than attend in person because of any number of random things. One Thursday we had a flooded basement that I spent hours vaccuming up with a wet vac. Another Thurday I was really sick. Last month on the first Thursday we spent the morning at our bank changing all of our accounts after having our house burglarized the night before.

So I was not shocked when our poor Danny had a rough night last night with his ear aching. Ever since we flew back from seeing my mom who is not doing so well back in Minnesota, all of us have been a bit under the weather. I prepared to get him in to the doc as he's been sick for several days, but it seems a miracle might be occuring. He is feeling better. We ended up sending him to school and I am now leaving my office to travel to another federal building to appear in person.

Of course I won't be shocked when the school calls. Cuz they will right?

Onward and upward I say. -Monica

PS. Update--the meeting happend with nary a call from the school. The times they are a changing! I can feel it in my bones.

Why Oh Why???

Why don't we call a toothbrush a teethbrush? (Or a hairbrush a hairsbrush?)

Why aren't naps mandatory in the workplace?

Why is Smart Popcorn not such a smart choice?

And last but not least:

Why does Danny always need, AT THAT VERY MOMENT, any toy that Benji is holding?

If anyone knows the answer to these questions, you are far wiser than I. -M

When Good Things Happen to Good People...

It’s been nearly three weeks since that day on Danny’s first field trip when an accident happened that could have turned out very badly (but thank goodness didn’t).

The great news is that Danny seems fine both physically and mentally.  I, on the other hand, have been having a harder time I will admit.

I tend to process my feelings by talking and writing about them, so here is a bit of my thinking from an e-mail conversation I had with my friend Amy recently.

“I keep coming back to a fundamental question of the strength of my faith. My son was spared a horrible fate-horrific injuries or even death. So I am beyond grateful. Understandable. My faith is renewed right?

But what if he had suffered terribly or died? I cannot really imagine finding that same renewal of faith. In fact, quite the opposite.

So what kind of a Christian does this make me? A fair weather fan of God? I never thought I could ever doubt all that God has done in my life was anything but his (or her) wise and benevolent plan for me to learn and grow and love him or her more.

So can you really love God more than you love your dear child who, after all, is a gift from God? And if you don't think that is possible, do you really love God at all? Maybe I'm just too black and white about this all but there it is.

You know I keep thinking back on an experience I had in Peace Corps lo those many years ago. An evangelical group came to the town near where I lived and a young American couple told the story of how their baby had been so sick, but now he was healed. This experience had made them so dizzy with delight, that they were “born again” and dedicating their lives to going to revivals like this to spread the good news.

And yet even then I couldn't stop thinking “but what if your baby had died?" How can you tie all of your faith into that stroke of luck (or divine providence?) that your baby was now thriving and not writhing?

So I think I've had this sort of seed of uncertainty in me for a long time regarding anyone who seemed too zealous. Too "faith-filled" I guess. It just seems so conditional. I know the word evangelize has the word “angel” in the middle and I like to think angels were with Danny and me in that moment. But that's a whole other stream of thought.

I also do understand that this pain that I am every so grateful to have avoided (Danny’s possible agony) is exactly the same pain that God asked his beloved son to suffer for us. I used to think more about Jesus' unbelievably courageous decision to accept his father's will, but today I'm asking "what kind of a parent does that?" So yes. I'm feeling angry at God. Maybe not angry. Confused and troubled.

But I know that God still loves me and my family. I just want to be able to love back in that same way at all times.

What's life without a periodic crisis of faith after all, right? Don't worry, I'll find my peace. Just have to keep thinking about this.”

Amy of course wrote me some wonderful and wise thoughts, and she along with Susanne and others have helped me slowly reframe my thinking. And it is getting better. Slowly but surely. -M

No looking back. Or maybe even forward...

I can just imagine Benji thinking "I have seen the enemy, and the enemy is this railing."

Seemingly to his keen mind, all of these safety measures/features are simply  barriers to his complete and utter freedom.

Not that I'm terrified or anything. Gulp. -Mommy

Dear Blog,

Hi there. How are you? We are doing okay my dear Susanica Blog. You know, I want to apologize for being so out of touch lately. I'm very sorry that I've been ignoring you. I never meant to. Things just got so busy you know...

Seriously t's not you, it's me dear blog. I know you sit out there in cyberspace patiently waiting for the latest news on what's going on. And day after day lately I fail you.

Now, now. I know that you're feeling a bit worried that you heard through the cyber-grapevine that  I post a thing or two on Facebook once in a while, but don't be jealous. Facebook means nothing to me!  After all, years from now when we want to look back on the history of our lives, you're the only one we'll be able to depend on. Facebook is fleeting and the history just disappears in an instant. But you! You're so steady, so stable. Do you have any idea how often I look back to remember what happened when? How Danny hit some milestone in September of '07 and to reread it again years later makes me smile all over again? That's just one of a million examples!

Don't worry dear Blog. I'm ready to recommit to you again today. Because you help us narrate what, at least to my mind, is a grand story. Thanks for hanging in there with me friend.

Love, Monica

Good news. Right?

So my mom's blood work and MRI results all came back as normal. Which is a great relief, but also keeps us wondering just what is going on. She's gotten confused and weaker, her speech patterns have changed and she's just all around moodier.

Of course she's in a very stressful situation. She wants to go home and isn't able to until she can do some things on her own like use the restroom. She had to leave assisted living because she needed much more help then that place was able to provide and is now in a nursing home for the time being.

Suffering a second hip break in one year has been awful. And ironically it's her knee (which has already been replaced once) that gives her the most pain.

We'll see her soon enough. But not soon enough if you know what I mean. -M

MRI

I don't know much about MRI scans. But I believe they allow doctors to look at what's going on inside of the body--stuff like tumors and strokes etc...

Our mom had one this morning and we won't know the results for another day or two. Ten days ago she was doing so well we actually thought she was going to be discharged home after weeks of rehab for her broken hip, but now, it's a whole different ball game.

In a nutshell, she's not doing well. And we are all beyond worried. Let's hope that either the MRI or the other tests ordered Friday give clues to some very treatable problems. Otherwise, well, we just don't know.

All we can do now is wait. -Monica

He's been out now as long as he was in!

Yup. Our little Benjamin is nine months old today! Seems like this nine months has flown by so fast--much faster than the pregnancy (at least in my humble opinion).

As you'll see in this slide show, sometimes he looks like a little baby and sometimes he looks like real a little boy. Mind boggling I must say. We love you little dude. You and that amazing big brother of yours.

Love, Mommy and Mama

P.S. A sneak preview of the show. These were taken on our trip to the Stasburg Railroad in Pennsylvania last month!

Point or Click? Or not so fast...

So...which is it? Are you one of those people who makes a firm decision and confidently hits the "send" or "pay" button or whatever command is in front of you?

Or do you hover over the button and even go as far as to press the mouse firmly but then wait and wait and wait as you review everything again?

And most of the time you then change your mind and slide that mouse away from that button until you've had more time to think?

Well, I'm one of those quick clickers. In fact, until I met Susanne, I didn't even know you could click without letting go and change your mind.

This topic came up for some reason last night and I mentioned that I was glad she was so deliberate. After all, she picked me to spend the rest of her life with, so I thought it stood to reason that it was a very good thing that she was absolutely sure.

She of course doesn't feel my same gladness. After all, I picked her with confidence and speed.

Seems to have worked out for both of us ;-)

-Monica

Ummm....can I go to bed now?

Little Benji was enjoying our dinner time chatting until he just couldn't keep his little head up any more.

He and his big brother sure do make us smile. Speaking of Danny, he is doing great. Doesn't seem to be affected as far as we can tell by the accident in the orchard I posted about the other day. Yet another thing to make us smile.

Big time. -M

Danny's first field trip -- all that we hoped for and unfortunately more...

Yesterday was Danny’s first field trip. He and about 40 other three and four year olds got to ride on a big old school bus to an apple orchard about 45 minutes from school. I was one of the 10 or so parents who came along to help. It was so much fun to watch the kids fill their little plastic bags with apples on such a gorgeous day.

But this magical day was transformed in an instant when suddenly everyone began shouting. 

I keep trying to keep all the details straight in my mind but this is what I remember.

Some of the kids had climbed up onto a Utility Farm Vehicle. It’s basically a tricked out large motorized golf cart. It looked like this one without the roll bars on top.

I was standing a few feet in front of it taking pictures and there were kids all around us just milling about and enjoying their apples.

When the shouting started I turned to see that the cart was now rolling. It was on a slight slope and was slowly rolling down with the kids on it. One of them had accidentally popped the brake.

It happened so fast.

I ran about two steps forward and putting my hands on the hood first, tried to stop it from rolling but I just couldn’t. It was too heavy a machine. By now the other adults were racing over.

I dropped down (or maybe I was pushed down?) and I jammed my foot up against a bar that ran parallel to the front axle and pushed with every ounce of my being.

You see, as I dropped down I realized a child was under the vehicle.

And it was my child.

Danny had been standing between me and the cart and had been pushed down. I had no idea! I could now see in that instant that he was on his back crying and terrified. I  had no idea if he's already been injured or not.

Now I don’t know about any of that superhuman strength stuff. And I don’t know if the others had arrived and we all stopped it or if my jammed up foot had temporarily stopped it.

All I knew was that I could clearly see that the back axle of that Utility Vehicle was much lower than the front. So if Danny hadn’t already been injured, he was going to be very badly injured in milliseconds if the cart kept rolling.

Through the grace of God it came to a stop. Then all of the parents and teachers literally lifted the cart up in the air—maybe 6- 10 inches off the ground. There was some confusion as some thought that I was the one trapped under the vehicle because at least people could see me. I think many were stunned to realize a child was under there.

I remember thinking that we shouldn’t move him if he was injured, but also that we needed to get him out. One parent dropped down and pulled him to the side next to the cart and I crawled over to him.

He got onto my lap and I asked for emergency medical assistance. We didn’t move until the paramedics arrived, and with no visible injuries asked me to just observe him and get him into our doctor if necessary. All I could think the whole time was "thank you Jesus, thank you Jesus".

The other kids had gone on the school bus to a picnic area and we were later able to rejoin the group.

I’m not sure how much more my heart can take, but I realized a few things.

1. For the first time ever I was pretty darn happy I weigh about 180. If that’s what it took to help in any way to stop that vehicle, I am very happy. 

2. Thank God for the other parents and teacher. They were right there and helped in so many ways.

3. I feel such an INCREDIBLE sense of gratefulness to God that Danny was okay. I can’t stop playing over the “what if” scenarios. Burned, mangled… I must stop this. And...

4. My love for Danny--there are no words to describe it. I’m just so grateful that someone—me, anybody really, was standing right in front of that cart when it began rolling.

He got lots of extra hugs and kisses yesterday. -Monica

 

Oh the tangled web we weave...

Greetings friends. Ah...what a week. First of all I must note that my wife and friends threw me the most awesome surprise birthday party ever on Sunday night.

It was amazing and perfect and since I'm so dim at times I never saw it coming. Thanks you guys. I just can't seem to stop smiling...

That is until Susanne and I get back to the super fun task of getting all of our banking and credit card stuff back in order. As you may recall, last week our house was burglarized so we've taken some pretty major precautions to prevent identity theft including getting new bank and credit card accounts.

Like most people, we have a lot of our regular transactions automated. Oh don't get me wrong, I watch our accounts like a hawk so they say, but even I didn't realized how challenging it would be to basically deconstruct our system of payments and start from scratch.

Some tasks were no brainers. Paychecks must go into new account. Check. Makes you almost feel like you are done. HAH!

All the monthly debits for donations and things like paying for the Washington Post require phone calls. Then you notice little things like your Bill Pays no longer appear on your account (no more college savings for you little boys! Well at least until we can get that straighted out.) Or that your credit card will not allow you to do automated billing on your new cards without filling out lots of forms and then waiting two billing cycles.

Then you realize that your bank information needs to be changed in other places. Savings accounts and Flexible Spending Accounts and federal travel systems in our case.

Ah...this is fun!

Actually it's driving me a bit mad. But I'm doing a pretty good job of hiding my frustration right? ;-) -Monica

The 8th Commandment...

On Wednesday we discovered that our house had been burglarized while we were at work. Maybe I'm naive, but I still find it pretty unfathomable that there are people out there who think it's perfectly fine to steal.

Among the jumble of very powerful emotions I've felt this week, oddly I feel a sense of gratefulness that this was done while we were gone. I shudder to think of a person or people invading our home while we are there with our children.

And as angry as I am about the things that were taken, I'm also strangely grateful about the things the thief or thieves did not take. Because they got into our collection of keys, they basically took anything they wanted out of a a small firepoof safe we used for some very important documents and items--but they did not take everything.

We've gotten great support from our police and neighbors and have taken every precaution we can to prevent this from happening again. But we are hypervigilant as you can imagine.

I hope more than anything that whoever did this is caught and prosectuted to the full extent of the law. Stealing our stuff is one thing. But stealing our peace of mind, and planting seeds of worry and doubt in our toddler is quite another thing entirely.

Maybe I'm just being naive again, but I look forward to our day in court if that day ever comes. -Monica

The talk of the 3rd grade...

At the First Day parade at Danny's school all of the littlest ones got paired up with a big third grader for the procession. Danny's new friend was a delightful little guy who chattered away in Spanish and English. Since parents were encouraged to march too, Su and I were there as well as this little boy's mom.

I was holding Danny's hand while Su balanced holding Benji and snapping photos. Then at one point during the march Ricardo asked if I was Danny's mom. I told him "Sure I am. Actually Danny's got two moms. I'm one of his moms and she's his other mom."

He was a bit confused I could tell. Then as he was asking for clarification, his mom interjected in Spanish that we must have meant that I was Danny's "abuela" or grandmother (doh!) and Su was his mom. "No, actually, we are married to each other". She seemed a bit perplexed but then I explained that since the law had changed in DC we could be legally married. Ah, this made sense. She'd heard enough of the news about gay marriage being legalized to know what we were talking about. Then little Ricardo called out to a few 3rd grade friends to tell them that his little friend had 2 moms. He'd never heard of such a thing. It was fun to watch their little brains try and figure this one out.

Ricardo's mom didn't miss a beat. She asked how long we'd been married and then happily chatted as we walked, even helped carry Benji, and sat with Su and me at the parents' breakfast after the parade. She was lovely.

I guess I feel happy that our being legally married help it all make sense to someone who had not known any gay parents before. I was happy that little Ricardo seemed interested rather than taken aback by Danny's family. (In fact, earlier in the march we were talking about languages and when he learned Susanne spoke German to Danny sometimes asked for a demo. I think he may now believe that all gay moms speak German! ;-)

We know the principal of Danny's school really well and shared with her a link to the Welcoming Schools Guide put out by the Human Rights Campaign. She was delighted, and in fact mentioned that a teacher was wondering how to do the "family tree" project with a child who has two moms. Well, Danny has a family tree and we are happy to share it, and work to help teachers with any questions they may have.

Anyway, have a great day. Can't wait to hear how the little guys third day of "big boy school" went. So far so great! -Monica

Danny's First Day of School

Wow!  Our boy went to his first day of Pre-Kindergarten at the Elsie Whitlow Stokes Community Freedom Public Charter School (hereafter Stokes!) today.  While he was a little nervous to start, by the end of the day, he happily reported that he LOVED IT!  We were so proud.

At our front door, ready to go!

With his 3rd-grade buddy, Ricardo, in the parade!

Listening to Ms. D in the opening circle.

Learning his first Spanish from Profe Gris.

The boys of summer...

You know, we knew he'd learn German from Susanne and Spanish in school, but one thing we didn't count on was Danny learning Japanese. At least a little. This is all due to a wonderful summer friendship with a little boy name John who has lived his whole life in Japan.

John's dad is a neighbor from down the street who married a very sweet woman from Japan. The whole family has been in the US for the summer and John and Danny have so much fun together. Although John's English has improved tremendously in the months he's been here, often he talks to Danny in Japanese and Danny jabbers away at him in English and it's as if they understand each other.

Actually, I'm pretty sure they do, which is pretty cool. -M

Brothers

I think Benji is starting looking more and more like a blue eyed version of his big brother Danny? What do you think? -M

If you're happy and you know it close your eyes...

Home sweet home (or close enough)

On Saturday, accompanied on the flight by my brother Paul, our mom flew from Denver to the Twin Cities. Her week long trip to visit my sister Mary in early August was rudely interrupted by a fall which resulted in a hip broken in four places.

As you may recall, she had broken a hip in January and finally recovered from that when she had this fall in August. This time it was her other hip.

I never had any idea before how complicated it can be when a loved one gets hurt far from home. Our sister Mary in Denver was physically there for her--it was very stressful, especially when she drove mom from the Regional Hospital where she fell to the rehab/nursing home in Denver about 10 days ago. Our sister Alice is a wonderful public health nurse and coordinated everything with the hospital, the nursing home in Denver and the rehab center in Minnesota.

Our brother Neil was the one driving on the original trip to Denver so he did everything he could, including comforting our teenage niece who was also on the trip and felt awful that she couldn't catch grandma when she started to fall at that rest stop.

Our dear brother Paul who works for the airline took care of all the air transport was so gentle transporting her from seat to wheelchair and vice versa on the long flight home.

I did the best I could--researching and booking hotel rooms right away for the family with her when mom was admitted to the hospital, and I also went to Denver last week to just spend time.

She's not really home yet. She's in a wonderful rehab facility about a mile from where she lives, but since she spent so much time there with the first hip break it almost feels like being home and among friends there.

Mom's seventh grandchild is due in a few months (yeah N&M!) so she's got every reason to work hard to be independent again. She sounded so happy and relieved when we spoke on the phone yesterday. Her time in Denver was not the best and she sounds like a new woman!

Thanks to everyone who offered their thoughts and prayers. And a very special thanks to all of my family who really did a FANTASTIC job. I love you all. -Monica

Mom before any broken hips with Neil and then eight month old Danny. 

(Wow, that's how old Benji is now!)

And away he goes...

Benjamin surprised the heck out of us this weekend by figuring out how to climb up a step. It could be a fluke, but based on the way this guy is exploring his world we doubt it.

This means of course that we'll have to get our baby gates up as soon as possible. I think the thing that makes me feel most proud is that when he tried for a long time to get up the step as I hovered a few steps above him, he really surprised me by figuring out how to go to the railing and use the bars as a tool to help him.

It's like he understands technology or something!

I have a feeling the fun has just begun! Have great week everybody. -Monica

Dare I say what I think?

I hate the periods of time when I have nothing to blog about. I feel like there are so many things going on all the time that it should be easy to find something lighthearted to share, or maybe even make a profound statement.

So I've decided to take a moment to tackle the great "Mosque on Ground Zero" debate. Never mind that I feel strongly on the issue. What I want to say is that it has become clear to me that no matter how strong the arguments--no matter how witty the Comedy Central shows, no matter how much the "talking heads" tell the "truth" as they see it, I am thoroughly convinced that no one will change their mind.

Isn't that a little sad? Maybe I'm wrong, but can anyone out there tell me if you or even one person you know has changed his or her mind?

Funny thing is, most likely you don't know what many of your friends think about this topic because a lot of people just don't want to wade into this. The emotions are too strong. One friend who is a Pastor wrote on Facebook this morning that he thinks he lost 5 or 6 friends because he came out very strongly in support of allowing the Mosque to be built as planned. That is sad to me.

I will say that I feel happy that Susanne and I, as soon as we first heard this story both expressed the exact same opinion about the "wisdom" of a Mosque being built there. We both think it should be a non issue. This being said, my cousin in NY who lost his uncle (other side of the family) as a result of injuries suffered as a firefighter on that horrible autumn day DOES NOT WANT THE MOSQUE BUILT THERE. He believes it is sacrilegious and shameful. I respectfully disagree, but I do respect how he feels.

It all just seems so counterproductive and negative to me. Of course I can't help but come back to the fact that the site of this proposed building is actually two blocks away--some pretty seedy shops are in that area now and that's not considered a sacrilege. But my opinions have not swayed anyone right?

A win-win in a negotiation is when everyone walks away from the table feeling the have gained something and they have been heard and respected. I'll be interested to see how this is resolved. If it is ever resolved. -Monica

Waiting...

1. Waiting for mom to be well enough to fly from Denver to her home in Minnesota. After her fall on August 5th in a town two hours outside of Denver, she's been through surgery, a two hour drive with my sister to a nursing home in Denver, physical therapy and a bout with an mysterious infection that has made it hard to keep food down. Fortunately she is feeling better now after some antibiotics. Saturday is the big day if all goes well when my brother will accompany her on the flight home.  I just know that getting back into familiar territory will cheer her up.  (I went and saw her in Denver last weekend and it was a mix of happiness and worry to see her still so fragile.)

2. Waiting for our next door neighbors to have their baby! Their little boy was due on Monday so technically he is only two days late. But I can't stand the wait. I totally appreciate that both Danny and Benji decided to come out at 38 weeks. Way to go boys!

3. Waiting to take a short vacation to a cool place in Pennsylvania where we'll get to sleep in an actual caboose! Danny has no idea how excited he's going to be when we get there!

4. Waiting for this workday to end which should surprise no one! -M

Guess we are having fun. Cuz time is really flying...

Benjamin is eight months old today which seems impossible. Seriously, it seems like only yesterday that we brought him home while climbing over big mountains of snow. Now he's the one doing all the climbing!

Our little guy is a true delight, and we hope you enjoy his 8 Month Slide Show.-M

When we call him DANIEL, he knows he's in trouble...

I think it would be safe to say that the vast majority of posts about our children are positive and upbeat. We love both Danny and Benji more than anything in the world, so it's pretty easy to wax poetic about the little guys.

But I have to tell you, Danny is getting on our last collective nerve. Apparently "listening" is for losers, and the answer to any question the past for few days has basically been a shrill and diabolical laugh.

So here's how it goes down. He does something he has been repeatedly warned not to. Then he goes into timeout for 3 minutes, is very contrite and apologetic and  I swear, not 2 minutes later does the same exact thing that got him into trouble in the first place. Argh!!! Example, he climbs again on a glass top coffee table, or dings plates on the table with his fork, or so annoyingly, smears whatever food he has on his plate all over his body like he's at some fru fru day spa applying a mud mask. Argh!.

We know. We know. All of the parenting books talk about how kids at this age are testing their boundaries, yada, yada, yada. 

I just hope that this is a VERY SHORT phase he's entered into. Suggestions welcome. -Monica

What the h%#! just happened?

Practicing for Halloween perhaps?

Hip Hip No Hurray

In the winter of 2010 my mom fell and broke her left hip. In the months since then, she's worked hard to be able to walk again without assistance and, no pun intended, has made great strides.

Until today that is. She's broken her other hip and will have surgery tomorrow morning. She was returning from a car trip with my brother and niece. They'd driven from Minnesota to Colorado to visit my sister and were just starting their trip back home when she fell after feeling dizzy at a rest stop.

It's so odd. Like dejavu all over again but much more complicated because she is so far from home. We just pray that her surgery tomorrow goes well and that we can get her back home (home to the rehab hospital where she spent so much time last winter to be more specific).

The only thing that has given me any joy since I got the news was when I spoke to her on the phone a few hours later. She's tired and drugged up but she's mom. She laughed when I told her how little Danny just lit up with a big smile when he heard Grandma got to go for a ride in an ambulance.It was nice to hear her laugh.

Please keep my mom, Mary Ellen, in your prayers if you are one for prayers. She's got a long road ahead of her.

2010, I think you can be done soon. -Monica

It's like School's in Now Forever!

It’s now August of 2010. Danny is three years old and this month will start regular school at the Pre-K3 level. With some before and after school care that means he’ll be at school from 7:30 every morning until around 5:45 at night. It’s a great school, but wow. He’ll go there until 2019 when he’ll finish 6th grade as an eleven year old and then just keep on going and going education wise. Junior high, high school, and probably beyond.

I will admit I feel a little shocked that the tiny baby we rocked to sleep as an infant (and who are we kidding, we still rock to sleep) is really starting school. Now. This month.

His grandmother (Nana) is visiting and hadn’t seen him since late May. She couldn’t believe the way he’s changing. His baby face is thinning out. His clever mind is always spinning. And sometimes he complains of aches and pains at night because his body is busting out of his toddler frame .

I like to think he will always be our baby. And sometimes when we least expect it, he is.

Love you baby. I mean, big boy. -Mommy

Pulling (up) the Wool over my eyes...

I've never claimed to be the sharpest tool in the shed, but today I really outdid myself.

While shopping, I picked up a fresh supply of Pull-Ups for Danny. He's doing really well with his potty training, but at nights we find it best to keep him in Pull-Ups mostly because we don't want to have to deal with wet sheets on those couple of nights a week when he doesn't wake up dry.

Anyway, while shopping I noticed that they had "Boys" Pull Ups and "Girls" Pull Ups. Huh, I vaguely wondered whether they had extra absorbent padding in different areas since the exit point for the urine is conceivably different for boys and girl. But no. After careful examination, it became clear to me that only difference was that the the masculine version of the training pants had pictures from Toy Story (and was blue) and the feminine version had some sort of princess (and was, you guessed it, pink).

Seriously? Wow. The socialization starts really young right???? -M

Hi, I'm Monica. Danny's mom.

As I mentioned the other day, Danny has started his two week summer camp down the block and I've taken him and picked him up every day while Susanne has done the same for Benji. (Dividing and conquering is good!)

Anyway, in most of the settings we've been with up until now (ie, friends, church, neighbors) there hasn't been too much need to go into detail about the fact that our boys have two moms, mostly because folks already know our story, or when they meet us for the first time we are all together.

But yesterday I met a mom dropping off her two little ones and she said "Hi, I'm Mary. Jayden and Imani's mom". So, I then said "Hi, I'm Monica. (silently thinking ummm...umm...ummm) Danny's mom."

The hesitation on my part came from the fact that there could be confusion if at a later time Susanne is with Danny and of course mentions that she is Danny's mom too.

I guess my point is, there was no need to explain that Danny has another mom to this parent at that moment.

The funny thing is that for me this is not an issue about "coming out" or "not coming out". It's about context and flow.

Am I making sense? Any thoughts on this anyone??? -Monica

Benji thinks paparazzi Matt is hilarious!

Accidental stalker mom here

So today was three year old Danny's very first day of summer "camp". It's a program run by our local park and rec and he's now officially a " Lil Explorer".

We've been talking about it a lot and were actually quite relieved to learn just last night that our 4 year old neighbor, Josie, who is one of Danny's best friends and a veteran Lil Explorer" was going to be at camp today.

I first brought Danny with me to drop Benji off at Jenni's and promised Oscar that I'd bring Danny in to play for a few minutes in the afternoon when it was time for pick up. These two boys are really going to miss spending so much time together.

Anyway, I then drove back toward home and took Danny into the rec center. Lots of kids and breakfast foods and toys to play with. He sat with his friend Josie while I filled out some paperwork and then I took him potty before trying to say goodbye. But alas, he enveloped me with the trembling hug of terror and kept saying "mommy stay too, mommy stay too." Just about broke my heart.

"School" had not started yet, so one of the teachers encouraged me to stay and play for a while. Before long we were surrounded by a gaggle of happy little tots all playing with dinosaurs and toy animals. After around 20 minutes I said to all the kids (including my son) "okay kids, have a fun day a--I'll be back later today." They all waved bye including smiley Danny.  Whew!

So how does this make me a stalker? Well, later in the morning I had to run up to Danny's regular year school to drop of some papers and had to go right by the park and rec since it's a block from our house. I saw several of the kids from the program playing outside with teachers but did not spot Danny's bright red shirt and I got a little nervous. Was he okay? Was he inside crying? So I surreptitiously pulled the car into a the lot and got out. In the distance much to my relief I saw little Danny at the head of a line the teachers were now forming to go back inside. Since he was the tiniest he was first in line (and Josie bless her heart was holding his hand.)

So then I felt silly.

And then I felt panicked.

You see, Danny had turned and I could swear he was looking right at me. In my defense, I was half a football field away, but without missing a beat I dropped down to the ground faster than you could say "aargghhhh!"

I mean, if he saw me it was going to be really bad. Seriously, the crying and begging to go with me would be very bad.

Luckily, he did not see me. In fact after sneaking a quick look I could see that he was listening to his teacher and then leading the parade back into the building.

So proud of him!!! Not so proud of me.

Parenthood. Never a dull moment!  ;-) -Monica

Smile for the camera before it melts...

It's kind of fun when your out of town visitors include an amazing photographer who apologizes profusely for having an inferior camera on hand and still manages to catch some pretty darn realistic shots of every day life.  I think this photo taken by Matt B. on Friday night can be summed up in the following way:

Three year old Danny's thinking, "I can't believe I ate the whole thing".
Baby Benji is thinking, "I'm pretty sure I can fit this whole airplane in my mouth but I'm not sure where to start.
Mommy Monica is thinking, "If I hug the boys any harder I wonder if their eyes and tongues will pop out??
And Mama Susanne is thinking, "Matt, it's 103 degrees out here, maybe we could go for an indoor shot?"

Anyway, thanks Matt and Amy and Alice and Andy for coming by on your trip to DC. It was a blast seeing you, and always remember, our casa es su casa.

Come on cooler weather. Any time now! -M

Oh, you mean I have to engage my brain??? Oh...

This is an IPod. If you turn it sideways, the picture turns sideways too. It's very cool. Susanne got one for Christmas and we love it.

This is a Blackberry. I have one for work and really love it too.

Except for the fact that no matter how many times I turn it sideways to look at the screen it will not turn sideways. And the really sad part is that I keep turning it sideways wondering what in the heck is wrong with my Blackberry. Oh right! It's not the IPod.

On a related note of technical stupidity, now that we are encouraged to use instant messaging at work (before it was verboten) I've fallen into a stupid habit of hitting "enter" at the end of regular e-mails expecting them to run into cyberspace. Can you believe it? My e-mail just sits there, the silly little cursor flashing. It's almost like it's taunting me.

I really need a vacation people. -M

Benjamin on the move...

I got it! I got it! I got it!

I don't got it.

Benjamin is NOT seven months old already! (Or is he?)

Yes, actually he is. And it you'd like to see proof of his amazing growth, check out his 7th month slide show.

You know, it's truly an amazing experience to witness a baby progress from being completely powerless and unaware, to being, well, pretty much completely powerful and aware. Perhaps I'm giving Benji too much credit, but dang, this boy is amazing.

Hope you enjoy the slide show as much as we do! -Benji's Mommy and Mama

P.S. Alright already. Here is a sneak peak from the slides!

No laughing, no smiling, and no giggling boys!

Try this on your little ones. Keeping your face as serious as you possibly can, look them in the eye and challenge them to stay serious too. But you have to keep telling them "no laughing, no smiling, and no giggling!" I assure you that your child will crack up, especially when they see you start to laugh a little.

We've been doing this game in our family for years. I believe special credit goes to Joan Lewis's dad if my memory serves me correctly. Have a great day everyone.

And remember. No laughing, no smiling, and NO GIGGLING! -Monica

If a picture is worth a 1000 words, are two pics worth 2000?

In this corner, (on your left) you see Danny having his first taste of bananas in 2007 and in the other corner (on your right) you see Benji having his first taste yesterday. (Oh, and guess who DEMANDS a "mana" for breakfast every day now? Hint: it's not Benjamin!)

Thank you classic TV

So this weekend while flipping through cable, Danny and I caught an episode of Full House. You remember that 1980s classic where Danny Taylor raises his 3 little girls in San Francisco with Uncles Jesse and Joey? It was an early episode when Michelle was pretty small and Danny loved it. So hokey, but so sweet right? Well, we got to talking about the show and our little guy thought it was pretty interesting that Michelle had a dad but no mom.

I didn’t go into the details about how the mom had died, just that their family was the three men and the kids. I could tell this intrigued him.

Then the very next show to come on was the Andy Griffith Show. As Andy and Opie whistled down the path in the opening scene, Danny asked me where the little boy’s mom was. Hmmmm…after some explaining about Aunt Bea, I had a sudden realization that television is filled with non-traditional families.

You got your My Three Sons with grouchy old Uncle Charlie, The Courtship of Eddy’s Father, My Two Dads, the Brady Bunch, Sister Sister with Tia and Tamika, you get my drift. These shows all ran at different times spanning the 1960s through the 1990s.

So thank you Classic TV for making it easier to explain to my children that all families are different. But in the most important ways, (like how we love and nurture and care for each other) we are all the same! -Monica

P.S. And Family Affair! How could I forget Family Affair with Mr. French!

I want apple juice! I want apple juice! I want apple juice!

These dog days of summer have us all a bit cranky around here. Danny really felt like he had scored when he scaled a step ladder and, with much drama, presented this "apple juice" to me. You gotta love a three year old.

He settled for some water with ice. And we settled for putting the canola oil just a little bit higher up in the cabinet.

Did I really complain bitterly about those itsy bitsy blizzards back in February? -M

What ever did I write about before we had kids?

I mean I must have had some deep and witty thoughts right? Maybe I wrote more about how much I love Susanne? Or maybe I commented more on political events and social issues?

This prompted me to take a look back in the archives. Mystery solved. I wrote about our cats. Here is an excerpt from October of 2006:
___________________________

"A few months ago Susanne spotted a fabulous sale at Best Buy on a cool DVD/VHS mini-surround sound system. So this weekend one of the final steps of our basement renovation involved connecting the wires she'd put into the walls and ceiling before we completed the drywalling.

Anyway, we got all of the speakers to work independently but were still trying to get the full "surround sound" of all the speakers together. We realized that we needed to play something that was created in Dolby Surround Sound and one of the few DVDs that we own is Winged Migration. For those who haven't seen it, it's a gorgeous documentary. The reason it's blogworthy experience for us is that we have two cats named Harley and CJ and when those multiple speakers kicked in, you've never seen two more confused cats. The sounds of birds everywhere! Outstanding for us, confounding for them. Next time we'll take pictures! -Monica"
_____________________________

I think I'll stick to writing about our kids. I can't wait to try the surround sound on them with the tinkling music of ice cream trucks everywhere! Have a great weekend everybody. Stay cool! -M

Benji's first day away from home

As I mentioned, this week Su headed back to work and so now she drops Danny and Benji off in the mornings at Jenni's house (at least until Danny starts Pre-K 3 next month.)

Jenni reports that Benji is totally enjoying all of the action at the Casa Oscarelli and it warms our hearts to hear that he's been napping, eating and playing with gusto.

Apparently big brother Danny has been letting Jenni know every time Benji makes a sound--you know, just in case she didn't notice. He takes his responsibilites as "big brother" very seriously ;-)

Our two guys are so cute together, and I think that together with Jenni's two, they are going to be a formidable force for fun.

No need to worry about Benji's voice being drowned out by all the other kids by the way. As you can see from this photo Su snapped last week, he's showing great leadership skills at the ripe old age of 6 months.

Rock on baby boy, rock on! -Mommy

Hope you had a great 4th of July! We sure did!

234 years old??? Really?

I couldn't help but notice that this 4th of July will mark the 234th anniversary of the birth of this nation.

Wow. I was 16 years old when we celebrated the bicentennial 4th of July in 1976. Together with two friends I did a really radical thing--we hitchhiked down old highway 61 in the Twin Cities area to go to a big event on Harriet Island. It was an exciting day of fun and fireworks, except perhaps the most memorable thing to me was that the yellow car that slowed down to pick us up was driven by another friend's dad. And although he took us down there, he also yelled at us a lot. Didn't we know hitchhiking was dangerous? In my defense I was with a very strong 6'6" high school buddy (Mike Jorde are you out there?) so I wasn't feeling too afraid. Ah, those were the days eh?

Yes, I never was very good at being a rebel. Some in my family used to call me "goody two shoes". I wonder if they still do?

But as I was saying, I was just not good at being a heck raiser (see, I can't even say the other "h" word.) Case in point. My senior year in high school, two really good friends talked me into, can you believe it, SKIPPING OUT OF SCHOOL for a few hours. I'm pretty sure I was a nervous wreck the whole time. This brilliant plan got even worse though. We snuck (serpentine like) down to our local McDonalds where MUCH to my dismay, my oldest sister happened to be working a shift.

Yep, she saw me and totally busted me to my parents. And I'd always been goody two shoes remember? Ugh, this was not fun.

In retrospect maybe this is why it took me more than 35 years to figure out and come to grips with the fact that I was gay. Maybe on some deep level I thought that my rebellion just wasn't going to work out for me.

Glad to say, I had nothing to fear. Does this make me a rebel now? Anyway, have a wonderful 4th of July everyone. We sure plan to! -M

If we don't write 'em down we'll forget 'em...

Scenario #1 - A few days ago I was carrying 3 year old Danny somewhere and he leaned in for a big hug before announcing "Mommy, you smell like a princess!" 

How sweet! Or was it. After all, our neighbors have two little girls and when it's time to go to the potty their mom and dad always ask "who's ready for princess time?"

Hmmm... I guess I've never put a lick of thought into what a princess must smell like so I'm just going to take this as a compliment.

Scenario #2 - Some mornings when we are getting ready to head out the door we let the little guys watch Curious George. But some mornings we either forget or don't have time. So yesterday Su is driving Danny over to Jenni's and suddenly out of the blue yells "Mama, wait a minute! I have to watch Curious George!" This kid cracks us up.

But Scenario #3 which happened this morning really tickled us. I'd woken Danny up to explain that I needed to leave a bit early to go to the doctor. Just some routine annual tests. He sleepily gazed at me and wondered aloud "Mommy, are you going to have baby?"

I guess with Susanne's recent romp through pregnancy, Danny internalized that moms who go to the doctor have babies on the way.

We assured him that, no, I was not going to have a baby. But just for fun we asked if we were going to, would he want a boy or a girl.

His choice? A "grill".

Love that boy.

Why am I suddenly craving a cookout??? ;-)

P.S. Next week Su returns to work and Benji will start joining Danny for fun and games with Jenni and company. How did this time fly????