Happy Halloween!

Curious George and The (Little) Man with the Yellow Hat wish you all a very happy Halloween!

Thoughts on being an older parent...

First and foremost, I think being an older parent means at times being mistaken for being a grandparent. This is my least favorite part of being an older mom.


I am definitely more financially secure now than I was when most of my peers were becoming parents, and that makes me feel good.


A friend who also became a new parent in his late 40s told me “no one ever told me it would be this hard”. He then followed that up by saying “and no one ever told me it would be this much fun”. Well said.


I don’t spend a lot of time worrying about this, but statistically, my chances of dying before the boys are grown is higher now than when I was younger. Me no like this thought. (Susanne doesn't either).


I am more tired now than I was when I was younger. I have memories of running around and playing with my nieces years ago—what fun it was I remember. Now I am happy that I have younger friends and relatives who love to run around with our boys. (Point of clarification: I do play a lot with the boys, but find myself eyeing my armchair way too longingly!)


On the bright side, being older means being being wiser (or so I’ve always been told.) Jury is still out on that one I must say.


Let’s see? For me being older means having to wear glasses. And we all know that snatching (and can I say crushing?) glasses is more fun than just about anything in the world to growing babies.


And last but not least, if one of the boys has kids when he’s only 20, I won’t be able to say “oh, no, I can’t be a grandmother yet! I’m only 67!) ;-) -Monica

Drumroll please...

Ten things I’m grateful for:

10. That Danny now asks “Is this a school day?” and if it is, he says “Yeah!” (Better than the September morning sob festivals).

9.  That my mom is improving, and even though these past 2+ months have been a real roller coaster in terms of her health, she’s upbeat and walking with a walker on that darn broken hip. Go mom!

8. That Benji (like his brother) is generally such a happy little guy.

7. That in two weeks I get to move to a new office building that is a 15 minute bike ride from home.

6. That we’ll be in that new building for at least five years (our current building is being renovated). Five years from now puts me at almost the age I could retire. Not that I probably will, but it’s nice to know I COULD. ;-)

5. That we are heading into the cool fall weather and the wonderful holidays that follow.  Benji’s second Christmas is going to be so much fun this year. Being a week old for the first one made it pretty unmemorable for him I'm guessing.

4. That Susanne still puts up with my occasional messiness/forgetfulness/silliness/laziness and anxiousness.  More than just “put up” with these traits, she still seems to actually love AND like me!

3. That we have such a great mix of friends. Old friends, new friends, borrowed friend, blue friends… oh wait. I’ve messed that up again right?

2. That our little boys still think we are the “end all be all”. Spent some time with my wonderful 13 year old niece last weekend and was shocked to learn that not only am I not cool, I’m actually quite embarrassing! ;-)

1. And last but not least, that we have our health, our families, our beautiful boys, our jobs, and each other.  Yes, very grateful indeed.

It's the Most Pumpkinful Time of the Year ;-)

Memory of our trip to Germany this year - Danny and Tante Thea

It's okay?

Time: Yesterday afternoon.

Location: Unloading Danny and his favorite neighbors out of the car after school in front of the house.

Josie and Callagh's mom said, "Bye now. Say...we're going to make some chocolate chip cookies and we'll bring a plate over when they are done."

I said, "Oh don't go to any trouble. I know you've got a lot going on today, so no need to come by if life gets too busy."

Out of the blue, Danny suddenly blurts out "No, no! It's okay Mommy. It's okay. It's okay for Josie and Callagh and their Mama and Dada come to our house and bring cookies."

He was so earnest. We couldn't really tell if it were a question or a statement. (And yes, Melissa and I both burst out laughing).

An hour or so later, Danny answered the knock at the door he'd been waiting for! -Monica

P.S. We love our neighbors!

Again--shock and awe

So why the big shock? Well our little dude just turned 10 months old today. And yes, this tradition of growing older each month still manages to catch us off guard.

You know, for Danny we did one slide show a month until he hit one year and we promised ourselves when Benjamin was born that we would do the same for him. But of course when Danny was a baby he was our only child and the star of virtually every pic we took. With Benji, well, let's just say he doesn't get as much camera time what with Danny mugging for the camera at every opportunity. The reason I say this is that it seems much harder to come up with dozen or so slides for Benji than it ever was for his big brother.

That all being said, without further ado, we offer Benji's ten month slide show.

How very sweet he is! -Monica (and Susanne)

P.S. Sneak peak--

What a difference two years makes...

Danny and his favorite neighbor Callagh shown in 2008 and again in 2010. They are in Pre K together and and I can't help but hum the tune "Sunrise, Sunset" from Fiddler on the Roof, a bit wistfully (yet oh so proudly) as I watch them grow. And yes, I do know that I shouldn't be humming that until they are teenagers or something, but gosh they grow so fast! -M

When Benji wouldn't keep his shoes on...

Yes, last week at the zoo we could not keep Benjamin's socks nor shoes on him and it was COLD in Minnesota. So we did the next best thing. Sort of looks like a double snouted elephant calf right! ;-)

Of Mice and, well, Apes...

Being the mom of two little ones, I will admit that I do watch some children's television each week, and if truth be told, I actually love snuggling with the boys as we tune in. We tend to watch public TV and free Video on Demand so I feel pretty contented in the fact that we avoid an overabundance of commercials (aka Satan's siren call).

This all being said, I do have a few questions and thoughts for my fellow children's TV watchers. First of all, why does Micky Mouse insist on asking kids to point to/choose items throughout the show? "Hey hey kids...can you see a clue that Donald is hiding somewhere nearby?" Which I have to say only encourages my very excitable three year old to jump up and point (very literally by touching the TV screen) at whatever Mickey wants--in this case a feather floating around on the screen. So Danny knows he's not supposed to touch the TV but Mickey keeps telling him to. And we all know who has more clout around here. (Darn mouse!)

My second observation of the day goes to the Curious George Show. Do you know that a person actually gets credit for being the voice of George? Seriously. For those unfamiliar, George's speech consists of "uh huh!", "uh uh" and "ooooohhhh". Man what I wouldn't give to get that gig! Do you think the actor gets a royalty with every show? Because they play the same episodes of CG over and over again on all the PBS stations. I totally missed my calling!

And last but not least, this might be a little picky, but if you haven't noticed, Curious George does not have a tail. I think this makes him technically an ape and not a monkey. Mickey on the other hand has quite a long tail, which for those of us who sort of have an aversion to mice, is a little disconcerting.

Just my two cents on some clearly very important subjects! Have a great day everybody! -Monica

We had a ZOOPER time in MN last weekend!

 

Our perfect 10...

Now, I don't think of myself as particularly superstitious, but maybe on some very deep level I am.

So can I just tell you on this 7th day of October 2010 the following trivia?

Ten days from now, in the tenth month of the tenth year of the century, our little Benjamin will turn ten months old!

Okay, okay. It would have been cooler if he actually turned ten on 10/10/10, but we were not having babies back in the year 2000, so this will have to do.

Have a great day everybody! -M

I got the "first Thursday morning" blues

Seriously. What is it with the first Thursday of every month? I am always pretty aware when the first Thurday rolls around as I have a standing meeting of a Federal Council that I report out at. And in the past 6 months it has become increasingly clear that the day is cursed.

I think 5 out of the last 6 months I've had to call in rather than attend in person because of any number of random things. One Thursday we had a flooded basement that I spent hours vaccuming up with a wet vac. Another Thurday I was really sick. Last month on the first Thursday we spent the morning at our bank changing all of our accounts after having our house burglarized the night before.

So I was not shocked when our poor Danny had a rough night last night with his ear aching. Ever since we flew back from seeing my mom who is not doing so well back in Minnesota, all of us have been a bit under the weather. I prepared to get him in to the doc as he's been sick for several days, but it seems a miracle might be occuring. He is feeling better. We ended up sending him to school and I am now leaving my office to travel to another federal building to appear in person.

Of course I won't be shocked when the school calls. Cuz they will right?

Onward and upward I say. -Monica

PS. Update--the meeting happend with nary a call from the school. The times they are a changing! I can feel it in my bones.

Why Oh Why???

Why don't we call a toothbrush a teethbrush? (Or a hairbrush a hairsbrush?)

Why aren't naps mandatory in the workplace?

Why is Smart Popcorn not such a smart choice?

And last but not least:

Why does Danny always need, AT THAT VERY MOMENT, any toy that Benji is holding?

If anyone knows the answer to these questions, you are far wiser than I. -M

When Good Things Happen to Good People...

It’s been nearly three weeks since that day on Danny’s first field trip when an accident happened that could have turned out very badly (but thank goodness didn’t).

The great news is that Danny seems fine both physically and mentally.  I, on the other hand, have been having a harder time I will admit.

I tend to process my feelings by talking and writing about them, so here is a bit of my thinking from an e-mail conversation I had with my friend Amy recently.

“I keep coming back to a fundamental question of the strength of my faith. My son was spared a horrible fate-horrific injuries or even death. So I am beyond grateful. Understandable. My faith is renewed right?

But what if he had suffered terribly or died? I cannot really imagine finding that same renewal of faith. In fact, quite the opposite.

So what kind of a Christian does this make me? A fair weather fan of God? I never thought I could ever doubt all that God has done in my life was anything but his (or her) wise and benevolent plan for me to learn and grow and love him or her more.

So can you really love God more than you love your dear child who, after all, is a gift from God? And if you don't think that is possible, do you really love God at all? Maybe I'm just too black and white about this all but there it is.

You know I keep thinking back on an experience I had in Peace Corps lo those many years ago. An evangelical group came to the town near where I lived and a young American couple told the story of how their baby had been so sick, but now he was healed. This experience had made them so dizzy with delight, that they were “born again” and dedicating their lives to going to revivals like this to spread the good news.

And yet even then I couldn't stop thinking “but what if your baby had died?" How can you tie all of your faith into that stroke of luck (or divine providence?) that your baby was now thriving and not writhing?

So I think I've had this sort of seed of uncertainty in me for a long time regarding anyone who seemed too zealous. Too "faith-filled" I guess. It just seems so conditional. I know the word evangelize has the word “angel” in the middle and I like to think angels were with Danny and me in that moment. But that's a whole other stream of thought.

I also do understand that this pain that I am every so grateful to have avoided (Danny’s possible agony) is exactly the same pain that God asked his beloved son to suffer for us. I used to think more about Jesus' unbelievably courageous decision to accept his father's will, but today I'm asking "what kind of a parent does that?" So yes. I'm feeling angry at God. Maybe not angry. Confused and troubled.

But I know that God still loves me and my family. I just want to be able to love back in that same way at all times.

What's life without a periodic crisis of faith after all, right? Don't worry, I'll find my peace. Just have to keep thinking about this.”

Amy of course wrote me some wonderful and wise thoughts, and she along with Susanne and others have helped me slowly reframe my thinking. And it is getting better. Slowly but surely. -M

No looking back. Or maybe even forward...

I can just imagine Benji thinking "I have seen the enemy, and the enemy is this railing."

Seemingly to his keen mind, all of these safety measures/features are simply  barriers to his complete and utter freedom.

Not that I'm terrified or anything. Gulp. -Mommy

Dear Blog,

Hi there. How are you? We are doing okay my dear Susanica Blog. You know, I want to apologize for being so out of touch lately. I'm very sorry that I've been ignoring you. I never meant to. Things just got so busy you know...

Seriously t's not you, it's me dear blog. I know you sit out there in cyberspace patiently waiting for the latest news on what's going on. And day after day lately I fail you.

Now, now. I know that you're feeling a bit worried that you heard through the cyber-grapevine that  I post a thing or two on Facebook once in a while, but don't be jealous. Facebook means nothing to me!  After all, years from now when we want to look back on the history of our lives, you're the only one we'll be able to depend on. Facebook is fleeting and the history just disappears in an instant. But you! You're so steady, so stable. Do you have any idea how often I look back to remember what happened when? How Danny hit some milestone in September of '07 and to reread it again years later makes me smile all over again? That's just one of a million examples!

Don't worry dear Blog. I'm ready to recommit to you again today. Because you help us narrate what, at least to my mind, is a grand story. Thanks for hanging in there with me friend.

Love, Monica

Good news. Right?

So my mom's blood work and MRI results all came back as normal. Which is a great relief, but also keeps us wondering just what is going on. She's gotten confused and weaker, her speech patterns have changed and she's just all around moodier.

Of course she's in a very stressful situation. She wants to go home and isn't able to until she can do some things on her own like use the restroom. She had to leave assisted living because she needed much more help then that place was able to provide and is now in a nursing home for the time being.

Suffering a second hip break in one year has been awful. And ironically it's her knee (which has already been replaced once) that gives her the most pain.

We'll see her soon enough. But not soon enough if you know what I mean. -M

MRI

I don't know much about MRI scans. But I believe they allow doctors to look at what's going on inside of the body--stuff like tumors and strokes etc...

Our mom had one this morning and we won't know the results for another day or two. Ten days ago she was doing so well we actually thought she was going to be discharged home after weeks of rehab for her broken hip, but now, it's a whole different ball game.

In a nutshell, she's not doing well. And we are all beyond worried. Let's hope that either the MRI or the other tests ordered Friday give clues to some very treatable problems. Otherwise, well, we just don't know.

All we can do now is wait. -Monica

He's been out now as long as he was in!

Yup. Our little Benjamin is nine months old today! Seems like this nine months has flown by so fast--much faster than the pregnancy (at least in my humble opinion).

As you'll see in this slide show, sometimes he looks like a little baby and sometimes he looks like real a little boy. Mind boggling I must say. We love you little dude. You and that amazing big brother of yours.

Love, Mommy and Mama

P.S. A sneak preview of the show. These were taken on our trip to the Stasburg Railroad in Pennsylvania last month!