Friday, August 03, 2007

My Everything

On June 18, 2004 Susanne said "ack!" (This actually meant yes, but I'd surprised her so much that all she could say was "ack" when she realized what was happening.) That was the happiest day of my life.

On August 6, 2005 were married, holding hands as we entered a garden surrounded by just about everyone we loved. I didn't think I could ever feel the way I did that day. So lucky, so blessed, so comfortable and so very loved. Again, I experienced the happiest day of my life.

On May 28, 2007 I walked, completely confused, into an operating room at Washington Hospital Center and saw a little baby to my left being attended to by many people all scurrying about. What was happening? They were going to come get me when they were done prepping Susanne for the C-Section so I could be there when they took our little baby out. It had been a long, long night but Susanne had been so stong and amazing through everything.

I remembered thinking that I must have walked into someone else's operation. Then I saw Susanne on the table looking back at me and I was instantly filled with joy which was instantly followed by fear. I felt frozen in place. "Is it a boy or girl?" Su was asking me.

"I don't know."

"Go see!"

I walked over and still couldn't quite believe that this perfect little baby who was now squawking away was really ours.

"It's a boy", I remember saying. "We have a Daniel!"

I went to sit on a stool by Susanne's head and took her hand. I was so filled with tremendous relief that she was okay. I just wanted to lay my cheek on hers and never be parted from her again, not for even a minute. She'd been through more of an ordeal than I ever could have imagined and all I wanted to do was to be with her. We knew that she was going in for an unplanned section, but apparently it suddenly became an emergency section when the baby's heartrate dropped when they administered the epidural.

As I sat on the stool with her I could see the baby on the other side of the room but she couldn't. He wasn't alone--the nurses were giving him eye drops and weighing him but she didn't know that. I'll never forget how she turned to me with those beautiful brown eyes and asked me so quietly "can you go be with him?" That really made me tear up. By that time they'd swaddled him and when I got up to go to him they instead handed him to me. Together we three sat all together for the first time as a family, as they sewed Su back up.

This was the happiest day of my life. And the scariest. And the best.

Happy Anniversary honey. You are my everything, and Danny and I are so lucky to have you.

So to review:
Would I die for you? YES
Would I walk across hot coals for you? YES

Would I donate my organs to you? YES
Would I get the dirty dishes that you left upstairs? Awwwww...I guess so!


All my love. Forever. -Your Monica

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