Monday, April 05, 2010

Here come the brides. Again.

Imagine that you had the wedding of your dreams. Virtually everyone you loved was there, and you just floated on cloud nine all day.

The weather was perfect (albeit a bit hot) the music was wonderful, the readings so touching, the toasts so loving, the reception such a great party--perfection. And without a doubt, the spirit of that higher power who brought this love of your life to you was everywhere that day.

Then imagine that this wedding was everything but legal. You were married for all intents and purposes but your marriage was not recognized as legally binding nor acceptable to your church or government.

Well, imagine no more. This was our wedding story that took place on August 6th, 2005. The most beautiful day of our lives. But because we are a gay couple, it did not "count" in our church nor state.

Fast forward 5 years and the times are changing. The church we now belong to has taken bold strides to be a welcoming congregation and after spirited discussions and back and forth with the larger body of that church structure has now said that they will marry us.  And in an amazing turn of events, the progressive city that we live in (which is not a state but a district) has jumped through all kinds of hoops to finally make it possible for gay couples to get legally married.

So later this month my beloved Susanne and I will be legally  married. To be clear, we will not have another wedding. That glorious event in 2005 will always be our wedding day. But in a simple gathering of just us, our little boys and our pastor, we will renew our vows and with a stroke of a pen become legally married.

I don't know which appeals to me more. Letting little Danny and Benji be a part of this monumental step? Knowing that the love Susanne and I share will be more widely accepted to the world around us? Or knowing that I won't have to try and fit into my wedding dress again? ;-)

We'll be sharing the original readings from our 2005 wedding with our pastor as we prepare to legally wed and as much as I loved them all, this is the one that now five years later sort of chokes me up. I think it's the mention of the children we might someday have. I could not then have imagined these beautiful sons that we have been blessed with. For those who don't know the "Blessing of the Hands" I hope you enjoy it as much as we did. -Monica

“These are the hands of your best friend, strong and full of love for you, that are holding yours on your wedding day, as you promise to love each other today, tomorrow, and forever. 

These are the hands that will work alongside yours, as together you build your future. 

These are the hands that will passionately love you and cherish you through the years, and with the slightest touch, will comfort you like no other. 

These are the hands that will hold you when fear or grief fills your mind. 

These are the hands that will countless times wipe the tears from your eyes; tears of sorrow, and tears of joy. 

These are the hands that will tenderly hold your children.

These are the hands that will help you to hold your family as one.

These are the hands that will give you strength when you need it. 

And lastly, these are the hands that even when wrinkled and aged, will still be reaching for yours, still giving you the same unspoken tenderness with just a touch.”

P.S. The words of this reading are so true. Except of course that last part about when we are old and wrinkled. Check back with you in a few years on that! -M


Strawberry said...

Aw, what a lovely picture! I think we're going to do the same ("renew vows") legally this summer on our 4 year wedding anniversary :)

Jenni said...

I think having your boys there will make your "legal" ceremony almost as special as the first one. Congratulations!

Stimey said...

That photo is gorgeous!!

Congratulations! I am really so very happy for you.

Xbox4NappyRash said...