Friday, April 22, 2011

Happy Easter

We are looking forward to a beautiful Easter here in DC. The forecast calls for warm sunshine and that makes me so happy.

I've been thinking about my Mom as we approach this blessed day.  Mom dying on Christmas Day was sort of "bizarro world" or something for me. After all, on Christmas Day we celebrate the birth of the Christ Child and it's traditionally a day of joy and celebration of new life. I know in many ways that her death was an entry into new life so it should make more sense to me, but it is what it is. I don't know how I can ever know another Christmas without some sense of mourning.

Which brings us to Easter. The three days leading up to Christ's death and then his rising on Easter are much more aligned to the mourning that I mentioned. On some level I know that when Mom was dying, her suffering and pain (and ours to watch her decline) were relatively small in relation to what Christ went through for us. But it still hurts terribly to think about that time.

Mom was a faith filled person though, and so am I. Which makes me sense that the joy of this Easter will feel more intense and beautiful than any I've ever known. I know I'll sense her presence, and feel her spirit rising which is a wonderful feeling.

This Easter too I have the unexpected pleasure of being able to join our Church choir in singing a peice of music that I've loved since I sang it in high school. It's called the Vivaldi Gloria.  I've gone to several rehearsals and something about singing with a choir again is awakening in me a part of my "self" that has been asleep for a long time.

This probably won't make sense, but I keep thinking of "imprinting".  Imprinting is a term that describes how animals decide "who they are".  I think that my early connection to singing in really good choirs through school imprinted in me a real comfort--a sense of fit. I feel so comfortable standing and holding music, breathing correctly, sight reading, listening to blend well, counting measures and following a good conductor 

But when I think about the things I've learned as an adult, I don't feel like those things come to me so automatically. Take Project Management for instance. I am a certified PM and can definitely lead, but I always have to review again how to write a new charter or how to use the tools I'll need. Not with music. It's like second nature.

Makes me want my boys to follow wherever their hearts lead them and give them every opportunity to find their true happiness. Danny already loves music (especially drumming and strumming a guitar) so much. I'm really happy that Su found a fun music class we can all go to for the next few months!

Anyway, I'm sort of rambling now. Sorry. Happy Easter everyone. Hope it's a shiny happy day for you! -Monica

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