Tuesday, January 30, 2007

AAAACHO! (and so on and so on...)

So…this morning the Washington Post’s health section did a big article on sneezing—specifically the anatomy of a sneeze. (If you check out the link be sure to keep clicking “next” to get the full story.) Anyway, it was of interest because a little known fact about my lovely wife is that she is a serial sneezer. It’s EXTREMELY RARE that she will only sneeze once. And the worst part is that since I am so sure that more will follow that I sort of stopped saying “God bless you” or “Gesundheit” any more. Which is fine when we are alone, but makes me feel absolutely like a barbarian when we are with others and they think I haven’t got a bone of compassion in me.

Now I sort of mumble some sound whenever sneeze one happens just to be on the safe side. Fortunately Su isn’t actually sick very often. It’s most likely a little bit of allergies, but man, is she ever a good sneezer! I think the record was 7 consecutive sneezes in 2004.

The article said a sneeze can send 2000-5000 droplets into the air at 70-100 mph. Whoa. No wonder my newspaper looks like a CSI crime scene (only the spatter is clear) if I don’t take some preventative action like grab a tissue in time.

Why do we say “God bless” for sneezes and not other bodily functions? Did you ever think about that? And why is it that when we are babies we are practically coerced into burping. “What a good baby! That’s mama’s little angel!” Such a mixed message that sends. No on in our staff meeting gave me any praise at all when I recently relieved the ache in my tummy. Barbarians! -M

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