Monday, November 10, 2008

For the good of science...

So even though my hair is getting grayer and my knees are getting snap, crackle and poppier, I would like to give praise to that one part of my anatomy that defies age.

My pesky little chin hairs.

These little critters didn't always live on my chin. But one day I noticed that the curse of my my ancestors had finally come to pass, and so now I've got about 7 little chin hairs that truly defy science.

They are stronger than bars of steel and grow faster than the most invasive type of bamboo.

And they are so, what's the word??? stealthy. No matter how cleanly I pluck them out, they silently push forth onward and outward toward the light.

Damn them all.

When I got my first grey hair when I was 33 years old I remember welcoming it. Lotta good that did me.

So bring it on chin hairs. I'm not scared of you. Apparenly I'm just a little self-conscious about you. (On the bright side they are reddish in color so I tend to notice them before others do.)

And I'm totally considering donating you to science. Anything this strong and resilient has got to be repurposed. Maybe if I let them grow long enough they can braid them together to make a slingshot that will launch things to the moon. For the good of science you know. -Monica


elizabeth (dundee) lampert said...

Many many years ago, when Eric and I were on one of our very first dates, he leaned accross the table and romantically stroked my cheek and then said, "Oh, you have an eyelash that fell out, I'll get it and you can make a wish on it." (or something stupidly sappy like that). He reached for the eyelash and pulled. That eyelash wasn't an eyelash at was attached to my chin! I spent the next 10 minutes trying to cover my embarrassment by hiding in the bathroom at the restaurant. His entire family knows this story and they mocked it even at our wedding. I'll never live it down.

tara said...

DO NOT PLUCK THEM OUT!! this is the warning of a Fitzgerald! DON'T DO IT!!!!! They will never go away..they will just return more plentiful...I have learned from my mom and other aunt...DON'T DO IT! did you ever notice how my mom has a black patch on her skin...plucking..I suggest bleach at the cheapest but otherwise..electrolysis...please..listen to me..I know what I'm talking about! plus I love my god mommy and I don't want to imagine you sitting in front of the SUPER mirror everday trying to rid yourself of the unsightly hair!!! love ya lots!!! listen to me!!!!