|Dad, me and mom on vacation in North Carolina in the mid 1990s.|
Like most people who have lost loved ones, I wish I could see them both just one more time. I have just memories and pictures and a few "treasures". Nothing fancy. I have the flag that draped dad's casket. But far more valuable to me somehow is the little Tootsie Roll we found in his bathrobe pocket after he'd died. Oh how he loved those little Tootsie Rolls. The years of chemo for his cancer kept him feeling pretty crappy for the most part, so I'm glad he found some pleasure in his occasional chocolatey treat. I have that "keepsake" in a safe place lest it get accidentally eaten. But I do see it from time to time and I smile. Next month it will be 10 years since Dad died. How is that possible?
From mom, I have her Claddagh ring and some Dublin Crystal candle holders she liked. They too make me smile when I see them. Mom's been gone less than 2 years. Losing her still feels really raw, and some reason I think it always will. Maybe that's how it is with moms and daughters? I don't know.
Mom and Dad, if I really could see you both one more time, much as I think I'd have to come up with something perfect to say, I think what I'd really want to do is to just listen to you (I know, I know--for once right?) Seriously though. We don't have too much video of your voices and I miss the sounds of your Boston and Brooklyn accents. Oh how comforting and soothing they were to me. (I can just hear mom saying "I don't have an accent!)
Happy birthdays dear parents. I hope it's not presumptuous of me to guess that there is most likely very good cake in heaven. Love you, and miss you. -Monica