Oh where oh where has my big brother gone?

Benji has officially had enough of being an only child. Danny's been at Nana's for six straight days now, and Benji is finally ready for the "Big D" to get home.

His brother has had a FABULOUS time per Susanne who is with him now at Nana's in South Carolina, but she too thinks it may be time to head home. Apparently Danny's conversation with Benji on the phone tonight was along the lines of "it's been really fun at Nana's but it's boring"  (I will add that he's not been bored a moment. It's just that he's missing Benjamin).  We'll have to see how long this "Philadelphia" (City of Brotherly Love) lasts.

I know that I cannot wait to hug and kiss my precious four year old tomorrow night (even though Benji and I have had great fun alone these past few days.)

Can't wait til tomorrow. Love, Mommy

And the Walkin' Man Walks...

Our tiny time traveler...

Well he is sort of tiny. And he did travel for a long time yesterday.

Yes, Danny and his grandmother started their big week-long adventure yesterday by boarding a train in DC at around 10 am that, after a bit of delay, arrived at their destination in South Carolina at around 7 pm. Then they had the hour drive to Nana's house.

He had a blast! He was so excited to talk to us on the phone when they got home and sounded so happy. What was I worried about?

Benji however did not seem to have gotten the memo that our evening "night night" routines were to be easy peasy with Danny gone for a few nights. It's like he drank a few Red Bulls or something. Argh! Maybe tonight will be better? I sure hope.

Anyway, here is a cell phone pic of my our excited traveler minutes before boarding. Oh the places you'll go little Daniel. Oh the places you'll go! Love, your Moms

A family affair...

Presenting my newest cousin and his adorable family together with ours this weekend. As you may recall from some previous blog entries, I got a surpise about a month ago when I got a phone call out of the blue from a man who was trying to track down birth mom after his birth certificate had been unsealed.

Lo and behold, although it was not widely known in the family, my dad's sister had indeed had a child in the 1960s and had given him up for adoption. He's a really nice guy (as is his family) and although we won't see them too often as they don't live nearby, we hope to stay connected. His visit to his birth mom (and to his birth dad whom he also amazingly tracked down) went pretty well.

Welcome cousin! -Monica

Project Goldfish has been a big success...

The Unbearable Lightness of Being (without Danny for awhile)

Well Danny is four and tomorrow is his last day of school. He started as the smallest 3 year old in the bunch and although he's grown, so have all the other munchkins, so he's now one of the smallest 4 year olds in the class.  He's had a wonderful year at school. He can write some letters (he's very good at "D" and "A" now), and counts perfectly in Spanish. He's learned lots of songs and made wonderful friends. He's also developed a strong soccer kick, and has started having an opinion about the clothes he wears.

I've been most pleased with the smiley faces and "great day" notes that his teachers send home just about every day. Our goals this year were to see if he could write his name, dress himself, and not get so frustrated the second he can't figure something out. He's succeeded on all three fronts and we are so proud of him.

What words describe him? Witty, sweet, homebody, book lover, picky eater. Yup. That's him. And about a zillion other words.

So what's with the title of my post? Well, you see, he has about a week off between school ending and summer "camp", so he's taking a little trip with his Nana. They will take an Amtrak train from DC to South Carolina next week, and although Su will be going down later in the week to spend time there and bring him back, I won't see him for seven whole days.

You'd think I'd be rejoicing at no bedtime dilly dallying and the noise level dropping a few decibles. But no. I have a feeling a day without Danny will be like a day without sunshine. Can parents get separation anxiety? Just glad he'll be with his Nana where he'll be very happy and comfortable. But I'm gonna miss him... sigh...

I also think the boys will miss each other. I guess on the bright side, Benji might come to really like this "only child" syndrome that he's never experienced before. Only time will tell. -M

Visting family in Richmond = Great fun for all!

We took a quick trip to visit Su's dad (Pop Pop) and family in Richmond this weekend and as you can see, all the kids had a wonderful time. Let the games begin! -M

I really will blog again...I promise!

Wow. I can't believe I haven't posted in so long. So, where were we in the saga called life?

Well, my long lost cousin I wrote about is going to meet both his birth mother and birth father this weekend. Turns out he's quite the slueth. These two knew each other for a short time in the 1960s but did not stay in touch. He'll be meeting them both seperately and I like to think of this as sort of a fun soap opera. I hope it goes well for all involved!

I don't know if I mentioned that a goldfish we got for Danny on his birthday died about an hour after he got it. Seems there is something called "new fish tank syndrome" or something like that. We got some new stuff to add to our water and it passed some chemical tests so his second fish has been doing well for the past week. Wish us luck. It was no fun for anyone when fish #1 went to "swim with the fishies". On a positive note, both boys love our new fish.

Well, that's just about all I have time for today. I promise to keep up better in the future. Have a great day, and stay cool if you live here in the Northeast! -M

Danny's Awesome 4th Birthday!

Guess Who LOVED the BEACH?

Have I ever mentioned that I'm an overexaggerator?

Word to the wise. If you persist in telling your three year old that you are going to go to "Yertle the Turtle Beach" for vacation, there may be some MILD disappointment when you arrive at plain old Myrtle Beach.

Only time will tell I guess.

I have a distinct feeling however that I soon may be "Queen of the Mud". -M


P.S. Actually overeggagerate is not a word. It's an exaggeration of the word exaggerate. Oh my...

The Very Curious Case of a Newfound Cousin

As one of my favorite philosophers once said “Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get”. (And yes it is perfectly fine to claim a make believe movie character as a favorite philosopher.)

Anyway where was I? Oh, right.  So last Monday evening, I got a call on my cell when I was at a music class with Su and the boys from the 508 area code.

I immediately took the call because to me the 508 area code means one thing—Boston. And when I get a call from Boston, it usually means one thing. My only living aunt on my dad’s side has had a fall or something at the nursing home where she lives. (My aunt really has no other close relatives left besides me and my siblings and I’m the one who has stayed closest to her).

Well it wasn’t the nursing home calling, but the call did have something to do with my aunt. Seems when Massachusetts changed some laws in the past few years, it became possible for people who had been given up for adoption to get their hands on their birth certificates which before then had been sealed.

I was in shock as the man on the other end asked me if I had any idea how he could locate the name of the birth mother listed on his birth certificate (I have the same last name as my aunt and his internet sleuthing had given him a hunch to call the numbers he found for me.)

The funny thing is that if he’d have called me several years ago, I would not have had any idea what he was talking about. But through a series of events a few years ago,  I had learned that she’d given birth to a boy in the late 1960s whom she’d given up for adoption. Now I was talking to him.

I must admit I was in shock. (He was in more shock though to have found someone who knew how to reach her!)

I’ll make a long story short. He’s a very nice guy that has done very well for himself. He’s got a wonderful family (they have two young kids) and a job with lots of travel and responsibilities. I actually got to meet him face to face the other day for lunch which was great!

And now, in a few hours, for the first time ever, he’s going to talk to his birth mom on the phone.

The nursing home staff has been wonderful. When I called them after learning this shocking news they strategized first before talking to her about it so she'd have the support she needed if this was going to be too overwhelming for her. She’d kept this secret a long time after all. But after saying "wow" she also thought it was really interesting and wants to talk to him and hopefully meet him.

I don’t know if he’ll find all the answers he’s looking for. My aunt is a bit of a “character” and has some mental health issues that make it hard to know how she’ll deal with stuff or even what she’ll say.

But I find myself so rooting for this connection (reconnection) to be a good one for both of them.

More than anything I’m just very grateful that he is healthy and has had a good life. I think that every mom who makes that painful decision to put up her child for adoption wishes for nothing more than that.

And when all is said and done, I know is that my siblings and I feel like we’ve gained some nice new cousins out of all this. Curious case indeed. -M

I'll admit there is some bias here...

In 2007 we met a wonderful couple in a Birth Works class who were due at the same time that we were. In May our little Danny was born, and a few weeks later Jenni and Nelson's adorable Oscar came into the world. They were both cuter than any of our hearts could ever have imagined.

Our families are so fortunate to be very close to this day as Jenni has been our day care provider extraordinaire for the past 3+ years.  Arguably our blogs are filled with a gazillion of photos of every moment of Danny and Oscar's blossoming lives.

Then, as is wont to happen, both of our families were double blessed by the births of second children. Ironically both sons, and not so ironically, perfect! Miles was born in December of 2008 and our Benji almost exactly one year later.

The other day Jenni shared this wonderful photo of these two buddies doing what they do best--just being.

Amazing that is.

I've decided that if I'm ever having a down day I'll come back to this post and look closely at this picture. I find it impossible to keep from grinning ear to ear.

Have a great weekend everybody, and thanks for this great pic Jenni! -Monica

Silly times in a fishbowl "ball pit"

This last photo of Benji's lower half and Danny's upper half cracks me up.  Have a great day! -M

It's All in the Iris of the Beholder...

Random thoughts for a Friday

1. If you were "The Donald" and had all the money in the world, would you wear your hair the way he does?

2. Every night before taking Danny into the boys' room for a "night night" story (where Benji is already sleeping) we review the rules. "No talking to Benji, no touching the crib and no touching Benji."  So last night when I asked what the rules were, without missing a beat Danny replied "No sleeping". Oye.

3. "Troth" means faith or loyalty when pledged in a solemn agreement or undertaking. Just in case you meant to look it up after the Royal Wedding but had not yet gotten to it.

4. When news broke on Sunday night of the Navy Seal raid that got Bin Laden, for some reason I imagined that the president had been sleeping and was awakened with the news. I was shocked later to see that he'd been in the Situation Room and everything. I guess I thought that we'd been looking for Bin Laden for 10 years and that this was bound to happen sooner or later. Didn't realize that this was such a specialized operation.

5. This will be my first Mother's Day without my mom. I could never have imagined last spring that she'd no longer be with us now.  On the other hand, it's her first Mother's Day in heaven. I'm sure it will be heavenly ;-)

6. This is Danny's first Mother's Day as a student. We are interested to see how his pre-K teachers will deal with the two moms thing. Great we think. This cartoon from the New Yorker really hit the nail on the head don't you agree?

7. Has anyone seen my druthers? If only I had my druthers...

Have a great weekend, and Happy Mother's Day indeed to all mothers everywhere! -M

Really Danny? Really?

Almost 4 year old Daniel insisted the other day that he could fit into his 1 year old brother's overalls.  After all, Mickey Mouse is awesome right? About 15 minutes later he let me know that it was time to put on a pair of his own pants. Still cracking me up after all these years ;-) -M

What a difference a day makes...

Benji likes his new haircut. What do you think? ;-)

Happy Easter

We are looking forward to a beautiful Easter here in DC. The forecast calls for warm sunshine and that makes me so happy.

I've been thinking about my Mom as we approach this blessed day.  Mom dying on Christmas Day was sort of "bizarro world" or something for me. After all, on Christmas Day we celebrate the birth of the Christ Child and it's traditionally a day of joy and celebration of new life. I know in many ways that her death was an entry into new life so it should make more sense to me, but it is what it is. I don't know how I can ever know another Christmas without some sense of mourning.

Which brings us to Easter. The three days leading up to Christ's death and then his rising on Easter are much more aligned to the mourning that I mentioned. On some level I know that when Mom was dying, her suffering and pain (and ours to watch her decline) were relatively small in relation to what Christ went through for us. But it still hurts terribly to think about that time.

Mom was a faith filled person though, and so am I. Which makes me sense that the joy of this Easter will feel more intense and beautiful than any I've ever known. I know I'll sense her presence, and feel her spirit rising which is a wonderful feeling.

This Easter too I have the unexpected pleasure of being able to join our Church choir in singing a peice of music that I've loved since I sang it in high school. It's called the Vivaldi Gloria.  I've gone to several rehearsals and something about singing with a choir again is awakening in me a part of my "self" that has been asleep for a long time.

This probably won't make sense, but I keep thinking of "imprinting".  Imprinting is a term that describes how animals decide "who they are".  I think that my early connection to singing in really good choirs through school imprinted in me a real comfort--a sense of fit. I feel so comfortable standing and holding music, breathing correctly, sight reading, listening to blend well, counting measures and following a good conductor 

But when I think about the things I've learned as an adult, I don't feel like those things come to me so automatically. Take Project Management for instance. I am a certified PM and can definitely lead, but I always have to review again how to write a new charter or how to use the tools I'll need. Not with music. It's like second nature.

Makes me want my boys to follow wherever their hearts lead them and give them every opportunity to find their true happiness. Danny already loves music (especially drumming and strumming a guitar) so much. I'm really happy that Su found a fun music class we can all go to for the next few months!

Anyway, I'm sort of rambling now. Sorry. Happy Easter everyone. Hope it's a shiny happy day for you! -Monica

Our Boys of Summer...

Our two little guys love to be outside now whenever they can. And after a long winter, you'd think I'd be equally as enthusiastic about it, but the truth of the matter is, I don't much like being outside. I never really have.

Maybe it's my fair skin and all those painful sunburns I got as a kid. Or maybe it's the flies and mosquitos in the summer and the crunchy sticks and stuff that falls off trees that make it near impossible for me to comfortably go around with bare feet. I don't know. I just know that I appreciate the cool comfort of the house if I have a choice.

But you know what? Knowing how much the boys love it outside, I'm going to figure out how to love it a little more myself.

After all, Danny and Benji adore being out on the tree swing, and in the sandbox, and running up and down the sidewalk with their little friends so much. And I do love sports, so playing catch or kicking a soccer ball or shooting at our little basketball hoop won't kill me. And chatting with our neighbors is always a pleasure.

Our yard out front is small and abuts a circle which is great in terms of having a pretty low volume of traffic, but who am I kidding? Traffic is traffic and when you have a three year old and a free range toddler outside with no fence, you can't really just relax. At least I can't.

I like to believe that as time goes by I won't feel the need to be quite as vigilant--in fact I'm sure it will get easier for me. (Stop snickering now.)

So where does that leave me? Well, outside with the boys when we have fair weather until I have to be "that" mom who makes them finally come in to eat supper and get ready for bed.

Hmmm...or maybe I can be the mom who stays inside and makes supper while Su stays out with them! Why oh why does she have to be the good cook in the family ;-( -Monica