Three Simple Steps...

Ahh…children’s television.  We like the PBS and Disney stuff but darn if those tunes don’t get stuck in my head and eventually drive me crazy!

Most likely anyone with preschoolers out there will recognize the "three simple steps" I titled this post. Yes, Secret Agent Oso is a cartoon where a cute bear teaches kids how to do just about anything by breaking it down into three simple steps. Tooth brushing, tying shoes, you name it.

Which always sort of humors me because in essence, as those of us who work in project management or enterprise architecture well know, decomposing anything down into its smallest "atomic" components is how you create work packages in a plan or...oh my gosh...what gobbledygook--just do what Secret Agent Oso says.

Have you ever noticed that kid's TV shows nowadays are all about teaching? None of this Roadrunner and Coyote, drop anvils on each other’s head stuff.

No. Today, Curious George teaches us all about how to measure and think critically. Sid the Science Kid? You guessed it. You can learn all about observations and formulating and then proving your hypothesis.  Imagination Movers is all about solving problems too, and of course Mickey Mouse is about figuring out the best tools to do the job (and practice your counting while you are at it!)

I read once that the Flintstones was an ode to “The Honeymooner” which was Jackie Gleason’s show.  “To the Moon Alice” Ralph would rail, much like Fred did to Wilma on the cartoon. I don’t recall much educational value, but maybe there was.  After all, we learned how to lie and scheme our way out of problems that we ourselves caused, (but never really got away with.)  

So I guess in closing, what I’m getting at is that if those of us who grew up in the ‘60s and ‘70s were influenced by TV and turned out the way we did, how will today’s kids turn out?

I guess if I thought about it hard enough, I could break it down into three simple steps.

Or could I? -M

Stay cool boys. Real cool.

Dumbageddon

Have you ever wondered how "blogging" became a verb? (Okay, a gerund as I wrote it.) But my point is that the word blog came out of the idea of writing a web log.  If it had been an internet log we'd all be tlogging right?  Words are fun!  Like Staycation and Frienemies. Who comes up with this stuff?  I guess all of us do.

In fact, just yesterday day I told Susanne that I was finding the whole debt ceiling debacle to be a clear case of "Dumbageddon". (Need I say who which party in the negotiations epitomizes pure dumbness?)

Well, I guess I'd better sign off an get back to my stupid job. Which I may just start calling djob.  Although if truth be told, I'm grateful that I have my djob. In this economy. Thanks to the dummies leading us to Dumbageddon. -M

Happy Birthdays!

Today is my sister Mary's birthday and tomorrow will be my brother Paul's. I've been thinking about them both a lot the past few days as their birthdays have approached and I hope they both have fantastic days. I don't talk to either of them super often, but we all know that we love each other.

When I called Mary's cell today, I asked if I'd caught her at work, and then felt rather stupid about my question when she reminded me that she had traveled to see her daughter and that she would be at her grandchild's baptism this weekend. You see, I knew that. She'd mentioned on FB how excited she was to be going to see them. And then I realized my problem.

You see, for my whole life, I and my siblings had the most amazing gift. The 411. Access to all information that was important to keep up with. And the source was our mom.

It's been just about 7 months since mom died. And although I didn't think much about the role she played in being our "glue" when she was alive and well, I think about it now.  Even though I spent most of my life living in distant cities, mom and I spoke at least once a week, often more. She loved to keep me (and all of us) up to date on the latest family news (okay, gossip.)  Sometimes she'd forget she'd already told you something but you didn't mind because, hey, you knew she was sharing that same story with at least 7 children, 4 grown up grandchildren and various assorted other relatives.

If mom were healthy and still with us, she'd have made sure I knew where Mary was and most likely would have reminded me to call her. I'd hear the whole story about baby Ellie's baptism and Paulie's birthday too.

My sister Alice who took such wonderful care of mom is sort of taking over mom's 411 role a bit. Maybe I think that because just like mom was always the hub for our many spokes, Alice is now the one that everyone checks in with (especially the brothers who my mom worried most about.)  But Alice has a busy life and can't possibly play the role that mom did, and she does not need to. No one else ever really could anyway..

Mom, if you can hear me typing, I hope you know that you made life fun. And interesting. And I miss you. -M

What I did on my summer vacation...

Danny had a wonderful time visiting his grandmother in South Carolina as you can see from these pics. It does make me wonder though how easy it must be to get a license to captain a boat. Those passengers look far too comfortable to me at the prospect of a four year old taking them on a tour of Lake Marion! -M

A Parade Worth Waiting For!

The Takoma Park 4th of July parade delighted both Danny and Benji. Who doesn't love a parade! -M

The Dog Days indeed...

I have decided that I'm not a big fan of summer. Heat, mosquitos, humidity. Need I go on?

I used to like summers better when I was a kid because, well, I didn't have to go to school in the summer. I didn't dislike school so much, but I just got sick of it. Summers were a healthy break.

But for some reason my employers seem to believe that summers off are not good for the soul. I disagree.

In thinking about this I guess that I'm mostly not liking this summer, because I'm not much liking my job. I guess self-awareness is the first step to solving a problem.

Thank goodness my children bring me such joy. If only I had the summer off to enjoy it more with them. Sigh. -Monica

Oh where oh where has my big brother gone?

Benji has officially had enough of being an only child. Danny's been at Nana's for six straight days now, and Benji is finally ready for the "Big D" to get home.

His brother has had a FABULOUS time per Susanne who is with him now at Nana's in South Carolina, but she too thinks it may be time to head home. Apparently Danny's conversation with Benji on the phone tonight was along the lines of "it's been really fun at Nana's but it's boring"  (I will add that he's not been bored a moment. It's just that he's missing Benjamin).  We'll have to see how long this "Philadelphia" (City of Brotherly Love) lasts.

I know that I cannot wait to hug and kiss my precious four year old tomorrow night (even though Benji and I have had great fun alone these past few days.)

Can't wait til tomorrow. Love, Mommy

And the Walkin' Man Walks...

Our tiny time traveler...

Well he is sort of tiny. And he did travel for a long time yesterday.

Yes, Danny and his grandmother started their big week-long adventure yesterday by boarding a train in DC at around 10 am that, after a bit of delay, arrived at their destination in South Carolina at around 7 pm. Then they had the hour drive to Nana's house.

He had a blast! He was so excited to talk to us on the phone when they got home and sounded so happy. What was I worried about?

Benji however did not seem to have gotten the memo that our evening "night night" routines were to be easy peasy with Danny gone for a few nights. It's like he drank a few Red Bulls or something. Argh! Maybe tonight will be better? I sure hope.

Anyway, here is a cell phone pic of my our excited traveler minutes before boarding. Oh the places you'll go little Daniel. Oh the places you'll go! Love, your Moms

A family affair...

Presenting my newest cousin and his adorable family together with ours this weekend. As you may recall from some previous blog entries, I got a surpise about a month ago when I got a phone call out of the blue from a man who was trying to track down birth mom after his birth certificate had been unsealed.

Lo and behold, although it was not widely known in the family, my dad's sister had indeed had a child in the 1960s and had given him up for adoption. He's a really nice guy (as is his family) and although we won't see them too often as they don't live nearby, we hope to stay connected. His visit to his birth mom (and to his birth dad whom he also amazingly tracked down) went pretty well.

Welcome cousin! -Monica

Project Goldfish has been a big success...

The Unbearable Lightness of Being (without Danny for awhile)

Well Danny is four and tomorrow is his last day of school. He started as the smallest 3 year old in the bunch and although he's grown, so have all the other munchkins, so he's now one of the smallest 4 year olds in the class.  He's had a wonderful year at school. He can write some letters (he's very good at "D" and "A" now), and counts perfectly in Spanish. He's learned lots of songs and made wonderful friends. He's also developed a strong soccer kick, and has started having an opinion about the clothes he wears.

I've been most pleased with the smiley faces and "great day" notes that his teachers send home just about every day. Our goals this year were to see if he could write his name, dress himself, and not get so frustrated the second he can't figure something out. He's succeeded on all three fronts and we are so proud of him.

What words describe him? Witty, sweet, homebody, book lover, picky eater. Yup. That's him. And about a zillion other words.

So what's with the title of my post? Well, you see, he has about a week off between school ending and summer "camp", so he's taking a little trip with his Nana. They will take an Amtrak train from DC to South Carolina next week, and although Su will be going down later in the week to spend time there and bring him back, I won't see him for seven whole days.

You'd think I'd be rejoicing at no bedtime dilly dallying and the noise level dropping a few decibles. But no. I have a feeling a day without Danny will be like a day without sunshine. Can parents get separation anxiety? Just glad he'll be with his Nana where he'll be very happy and comfortable. But I'm gonna miss him... sigh...

I also think the boys will miss each other. I guess on the bright side, Benji might come to really like this "only child" syndrome that he's never experienced before. Only time will tell. -M

Visting family in Richmond = Great fun for all!

We took a quick trip to visit Su's dad (Pop Pop) and family in Richmond this weekend and as you can see, all the kids had a wonderful time. Let the games begin! -M

I really will blog again...I promise!

Wow. I can't believe I haven't posted in so long. So, where were we in the saga called life?

Well, my long lost cousin I wrote about is going to meet both his birth mother and birth father this weekend. Turns out he's quite the slueth. These two knew each other for a short time in the 1960s but did not stay in touch. He'll be meeting them both seperately and I like to think of this as sort of a fun soap opera. I hope it goes well for all involved!

I don't know if I mentioned that a goldfish we got for Danny on his birthday died about an hour after he got it. Seems there is something called "new fish tank syndrome" or something like that. We got some new stuff to add to our water and it passed some chemical tests so his second fish has been doing well for the past week. Wish us luck. It was no fun for anyone when fish #1 went to "swim with the fishies". On a positive note, both boys love our new fish.

Well, that's just about all I have time for today. I promise to keep up better in the future. Have a great day, and stay cool if you live here in the Northeast! -M

Danny's Awesome 4th Birthday!

Guess Who LOVED the BEACH?

Have I ever mentioned that I'm an overexaggerator?

Word to the wise. If you persist in telling your three year old that you are going to go to "Yertle the Turtle Beach" for vacation, there may be some MILD disappointment when you arrive at plain old Myrtle Beach.

Only time will tell I guess.

I have a distinct feeling however that I soon may be "Queen of the Mud". -M


P.S. Actually overeggagerate is not a word. It's an exaggeration of the word exaggerate. Oh my...

The Very Curious Case of a Newfound Cousin

As one of my favorite philosophers once said “Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get”. (And yes it is perfectly fine to claim a make believe movie character as a favorite philosopher.)

Anyway where was I? Oh, right.  So last Monday evening, I got a call on my cell when I was at a music class with Su and the boys from the 508 area code.

I immediately took the call because to me the 508 area code means one thing—Boston. And when I get a call from Boston, it usually means one thing. My only living aunt on my dad’s side has had a fall or something at the nursing home where she lives. (My aunt really has no other close relatives left besides me and my siblings and I’m the one who has stayed closest to her).

Well it wasn’t the nursing home calling, but the call did have something to do with my aunt. Seems when Massachusetts changed some laws in the past few years, it became possible for people who had been given up for adoption to get their hands on their birth certificates which before then had been sealed.

I was in shock as the man on the other end asked me if I had any idea how he could locate the name of the birth mother listed on his birth certificate (I have the same last name as my aunt and his internet sleuthing had given him a hunch to call the numbers he found for me.)

The funny thing is that if he’d have called me several years ago, I would not have had any idea what he was talking about. But through a series of events a few years ago,  I had learned that she’d given birth to a boy in the late 1960s whom she’d given up for adoption. Now I was talking to him.

I must admit I was in shock. (He was in more shock though to have found someone who knew how to reach her!)

I’ll make a long story short. He’s a very nice guy that has done very well for himself. He’s got a wonderful family (they have two young kids) and a job with lots of travel and responsibilities. I actually got to meet him face to face the other day for lunch which was great!

And now, in a few hours, for the first time ever, he’s going to talk to his birth mom on the phone.

The nursing home staff has been wonderful. When I called them after learning this shocking news they strategized first before talking to her about it so she'd have the support she needed if this was going to be too overwhelming for her. She’d kept this secret a long time after all. But after saying "wow" she also thought it was really interesting and wants to talk to him and hopefully meet him.

I don’t know if he’ll find all the answers he’s looking for. My aunt is a bit of a “character” and has some mental health issues that make it hard to know how she’ll deal with stuff or even what she’ll say.

But I find myself so rooting for this connection (reconnection) to be a good one for both of them.

More than anything I’m just very grateful that he is healthy and has had a good life. I think that every mom who makes that painful decision to put up her child for adoption wishes for nothing more than that.

And when all is said and done, I know is that my siblings and I feel like we’ve gained some nice new cousins out of all this. Curious case indeed. -M

I'll admit there is some bias here...

In 2007 we met a wonderful couple in a Birth Works class who were due at the same time that we were. In May our little Danny was born, and a few weeks later Jenni and Nelson's adorable Oscar came into the world. They were both cuter than any of our hearts could ever have imagined.

Our families are so fortunate to be very close to this day as Jenni has been our day care provider extraordinaire for the past 3+ years.  Arguably our blogs are filled with a gazillion of photos of every moment of Danny and Oscar's blossoming lives.

Then, as is wont to happen, both of our families were double blessed by the births of second children. Ironically both sons, and not so ironically, perfect! Miles was born in December of 2008 and our Benji almost exactly one year later.

The other day Jenni shared this wonderful photo of these two buddies doing what they do best--just being.

Amazing that is.

I've decided that if I'm ever having a down day I'll come back to this post and look closely at this picture. I find it impossible to keep from grinning ear to ear.

Have a great weekend everybody, and thanks for this great pic Jenni! -Monica