Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Us and Ours

We had a nice night last night handing out Halloween candy and hanging out with our next door neighbors on the porch (it was a balmy 50 something last night here in DC.) They actually created a fake life-sized coffin for their front yard and even had a shovel menacingly dug into the ground next to it. Very spooky and fun!

Susanne and I were talking about how a year from now, God willing, our baby will be 4 months old! It’s sort of hard to imagine. Another neighbor with a one year old says that now it’s almost impossible to imagine what her life was without her daughter. She’ll think “gee, I remember going to Europe in 1999 but what did we do with JoJo on that trip?” “Doh!” I think we’ll probably feel the same.

I was talking to Su last night about being an expectant mom, but not being the pregnant woman in the relationship. The non-birth mom is basically identified only by the “non” or “not”. Non-birth, non-bio, not pregnant…you get the picture. So yes I’ll have a child in June, but technically I’ll really help Su deliver our child. It may just be semantics but it’s an interesting paradigm all the same. Su argues that in many respects “we” are pregnant. It just depends on how you define pregnant if you think about it. Merriam-Webster says it can mean “rich in significance or implication.” I like that!

I read a story once about 2 gay moms who went shopping shortly after their baby was born. The non-birth mom was holding the baby about 10 steps away from the birth mom and was chatting with someone. The stranger commented on how beautiful the baby was. “How old is she?” “A week old today” said the non-birth mom proudly. “Well you look absolutely wonderful” gushed the stranger. “Why thank you” non-birth mom smiled. As I recall, the birth mom who’d overheard the whole thing and felt weary and bloated was, let’s say, not pleased.

Oh yeah! This two mom thing is going to be fun! Wouldn't it have been funnier though if the stranger had said something like "don't worry dear--you'll get your shape back soon. ;-)

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