Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Free to be!

Susanne and I have been a bit behind in getting Danny’s new name changed in all places, so this morning, with his medical card in hand, I called the member services # of his health insurance company. He is on Su’s insurance instead of mine, so when I placed the call I was again confronted with the dilemma of whether I should call as myself or call as if I were Susanne (remember how good I am at that ;-)

Until we have full marriage rights there are lots of instances where it’s not okay for health care providers to talk to me. Even though we have tons of legal paperwork including medical powers of attorney etc, HIPPA waivers (Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act) the people on the other end of the phone don’t know that.

So I briefly considered being Susanne but I didn’t even have her health insurance numbers with me and I figured I’d sound like an idiot so I took a chance and when asked for my name, gave my own.

“But you won’t find me in your system” I warned the customer service agent. “I’m calling about my son”.

Before he was legally my son saying “my son” always made me feel slightly nervous. As if someone could challenge it. But not any more. That legal adoption decree helped me make that shift. I guess that’s why I feel so strongly that legal marriage for gay couples is so critical. I like the feeling of protection from perceived or real challenges to the validity of my marriage.

Anyway, to make my long story short, the customer service agent, put me on hold, got back on the line, and then addressing me by name gave me all the information Su and I need to get Danny’s name changed. Sometimes it’s the littlest things that make me happy. Have a great day everyone! –M

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