So Busted...

So if I’m going to be Susanne sometimes, I really need to remember to BE Susanne. In case that doesn’t make any sense, I’ll explain. You see, sometimes it’s just easier for me to say I’m my wife when dealing with people on the phone. I set up appointments, get results that we are waiting for, deal with the bank, order free credit reports…whatever. It’s just usually convenient for us this way. Our voices sound fairly similar to most people which is a real plus!

So the other day we got a bill from Susanne’s doctor’s office that clearly had some errors on it, and I said I’d call and take care of it. Everything started out just fine. I said my (Susanne’s) name and the billing rep looked up my (her) record. She’d already asked my (Susanne’s) birth date and other identifying info etc… Then as we started discussing the bill, at one point I said something about how a certain charge was for “after Susanne got pregnant and therefore should be covered by insurance” or something to that effect. Now the woman was really confused.

Yes, I was pretty much in the midst of a full-fledged lie you see, and I’m not a very good liar. Ask anyone in my family.

So now the billing rep says,

“Before who got pregnant?” “Aren’t you pregnant?”

I’d reached the proverbial fork in the road. I seriously considered whether I should go on. Tell her all about “my” pregnancy was going. The food aversions, how the baby felt like a brick on my bladder last night…oh what a tangled web we weave. I couldn’t do it. Just couldn’t do it.

“Well…I’ve got to be honest with you. I’m Monica, Susanne’s partner and I just lied and said I was her because I thought it might be easier.”

Silence. (This is when I imagine the shock and chagrin this voice on the phone must be experiencing.)

“Monica, sweetie, your name is on all of Susanne’s records too—you can just be yourself as far as this office is concerned.” Wheww…what a relief! The best part was that we straightened out several billing errors (in our favor of course or I wouldn’t be so excited about it) and now all is well.

Oh, well. Lesson learned. I’ve GOT to plan better. Why, I think I may be experiencing Braxton-Hicks now… ;-)