So perhaps those of you who already have more than one child can help me out with a theory that I'm incubating. (Pun intended).
My thought is that having one child keeps you busy but at least there are several options that are available for different scenarios if there are two parents in the mix. You kind of negotiate things like “you take Danny food shopping and I’ll take care of this other task”. Or “how about if I blah, blah blah…and you blah, blah, blah.” You know, simple things like that.
But with more than one child to coordinate, I have a sense that things can get exponentially more complicated.
This thought came to me last week when Su and I took Danny to Home Depot to get some wood and stuff to make his loft bed. We needed a truck, but since we hadn’t arranged for anyone to watch Danny (it was a Federal Holiday) we also needed to take him. Our friend with the truck was happy to lend it, but she needed to pick someone up at the airport. So of course we said she could use our car. Then we realized we’d need to figure something else out since there was no way to get a car seat in the truck.
Luck had it that we were able to borrow yet another friend’s car and off we went—me and Danny following Su who was in the pickup on this great adventure!
We bought tons (I want to say literally) of lumber and plywood. We were in a bit of a hurry to get the borrowed car back home when, just as we were ready to head to the check out area, Danny required a diaper change. (Let’s just say it was a stinker).
Not wanting Susanne to be doing any unnecessary lifting etc…my plan had been to push all the heavy stuff to the checkout area, leave him with her to pay while I went to get the truck, then I’d load up the truck and finally walk back our borrowed car with Danny to head back home again in tandem.
But now he was in serious need of a diaper change. I felt stumped. The bathroom was seemingly a mile away and it made no sense for Susanne to deal with Mr. Squirmy Wormy “I HATE getting my diaper changed on those little fold down tables”, so we decided I would take him to the bathroom.
In the meanwhile, (again, we were in a bit of a hurry) Susanne pushed the heavy cart up to the front, paid, and then went out to get the truck (did I mention it was pouring rain outside?) She’s very quick to point out that she is not an invalid. Which I agree is true, but I also really don’t think she needs to be lifting (or even pushing) anything heavy when she's 8 months pregnant when I can do it for her (which she also agrees with to a certain extent, and just a certain extent.)
Long story short, I realized in this moment of “what do we do now?” that with two babies life is going to be more complicated than it is now. I know Danny is almost 2 ½ and can help more and more, but I have a feeling that there will be a lot more discussions and options on the table about who needs to do what and when (and how and where.)
There. Those are my rambling thoughts for the day. Parents of more than one? (or anyone for that matter?) Any insights? -Monica
2 comments:
LOL - I just wrote a huge paragraph of useless advice. The long and short of it is that it's crazy...but like everything, you guys will figure out the rhythm and the rhythm will take a while to figure out.
I always think of us now in teams. Team baby is Kelly and Connor...because of breastfeeding. Team toddler is me and Bailey. I'm not sure that that helps in any way...but it does give me a chuckle every time I imagine us in jerseys that say "Team Baby" and "Team Toddler". And the laugh helps when the juggling gets crazy.
I suspect that I'll learn a lot more about this in the next month or so when I'm juggling both all day! LOL
I think Mikki is right - once you are in the thick of it, you'll figure out a rhythm. The fact that there are TWO of you will make things so much easier - you just have to split the tasks, like Mikki was saying. I've actually found adapting to have two babies easier then adapting to just the one, when Oscar was born, I think because my brain was already wired to think like a parent.
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