And They're Off!

UPDATE: As promised, here's a little video of Benji taken on his first day.

Today is a milestone for our family. Both of our boys started school, (Danny kindergarten and Benji pre-school), and as is to be expected, this has conjured up some emotions. We seem to have a good mix of friends with kids of varying ages, so I've been having different conversations about how hard it is to transition--whether sending your "baby" out the door to when they are really young or to start college. I think that the one thing both have in common is that we as parents are asked to trust.

Trust that the school we are sending our children to is safe and engaging. Trust that our child will listen and learn and make good decisions. And trust that we've not sheltered them so much that they are unable to cope and adjust to this thing called real life.

But I also think there is something else that discomfits us even more than this question of trust. It's this question of pain.

What parent in his or her right mind wants to cause their child pain? And yet as we walk out the door of the school or wave goodbye to a bus on that first day, we know that even if they seemed okay, there will come a time in moments, hours or days that they will miss us so much they will ache. Real and actual internal pain. And the only place in the world they will want to be is enveloped in our arms as we cradle them and assure them that everything is going to be okay.

But we won't be with them in that moment. And I kind of hate that.

If we/they are lucky, they will be consoled by teachers or peers or friends, and their pain will start to recede like the ocean's tide.

But for those of us who sent them off, the specter of that pain does not recede far from our psyches. We are the ones anxiously eying the clock on these first days.  Imagining our child trying to navigate a whole new world without, well, us. Ridiculous right?

Both Danny and Benji make us so proud. They are bright and social and funny and I know on some level that they will be just fine. It's just all the other levels I struggle with a bit ;-)

For the record, Danny is starting his 3rd year at a charter school in our neighborhood. He is surrounded by teachers he knows and virtually all of the same classmates he's had. For him it was like "old home week" heading back. He seemed so happy and as we stayed for opening activity, it was clear to see that he was behaving well, confident and listening well to his teachers. Of the two boys he's more introverted in some ways I'd say, so going into this very familiar world was comforting for all of us.

Benji, (whom I'd describe as a bit more extroverted) on the other hand went today for the first time to a school where he knows no one. He's only two so I'm not even sure if he remembers the tour we took a few months ago. It's a lovely pre-school, and he was so sweet meeting his teachers this morning. He was not at all happy to see us say good-bye, and frankly he's the one I'm most anxious about. Maybe I'm projecting a bit though. I went to a new elementary school every year when I was a kid and it was hard to be the new kid. All the other kids where Benji started today have been together already for weeks (or longer). Anyway, I am going to optimistically predict that he will do well. He has pretty darned advanced language skills for being only 32 months old, so maybe we'll try to interview him on camera tonight and make a video of his story of his first day.

I am praying today that both boys have great days and that come tomorrow, both will be excited about returning. If not, that's a battle I don't even want to think about! Hasta la vista. -Monica

Our Summer Vacation (#2)

Day two of our Minnesota adventure took us on a drive from St. Paul up north to Woman Lake.  The highlight of the day was a stop at Paul Bunyan Land in Brainerd. 

27' tall Paul Bunyan himself greeted the boys with a hearty "Hello Danny and Benji!" as we walked in the front gate.  This did NOT go over well, particularly with Benji.  Neither boy could be convinced to sit on Paul's boot for a picture despite his invitation to do so.  As you can see, even getting this picture was a bit of a challenge.

Babe the Blue Ox was definitely less intimidating - thank goodness he didn't bellow "Good Bye!" as we left.

Our Minnesota trip was all the more special because we had been invited by our wonderful neighbors from DC - Melissa & Norman and daughters Josie & Callagh. A week on a lake in northern Minnesota is a long standing family tradition for Melissa's family, and we were so grateful to be invited along.  The whole family has long been raving about how wonderful and relaxing (parents' take on it) and fun (kids' take on it) the trip would be. 

Paul Bunyan Land is part of the annual tradition, so we met up with the family there.  As you can see here, the boys had a fantastic time on the rides with Josie and Callagh.

During the later days of our trip and especially when we were driving back to St. Paul to go home, Benji would frequently pine for "Bunyan Land! I want to go to Bunyan Land!" in the back seat.

Our Summer Vacation (#1)

I took 238 pictures during our week long vacation in Minnesota and spent quite a bit of time deleting the not so great ones off the camera to fit more and more! (Monica took some of them too.) Now I have a bit of work ahead of me to organize and show off the best ones.  We had several different stops during our travels - St. Paul visiting with Monica's family, Paul Bunyan Land in Brainerd, Kee Nee Moo Sha on Woman Lake in Hackensack, a day at Pine Beach Resort in Nevis, and the trip back to the Twin Cities to fly home. All this to say that this will only be the first installment of several for our vacation photos.

On the day of our arrival we spent the afternoon at the Minnesota Children's Museum in St. Paul with Monica's brother Paul (aka Uncle Pauly) and her niece Janna.  That's Benji driving the two of them on the bus:

Danny spent a few minutes in the dog house pretending to be a dog and then he said to Uncle, "OK, now you be a person!"  He makes a pretty good person, that Uncle!

The construction crane was also a big hit with the boys.  Thanks to Janna's help they were able to lift the I-Beam up onto a truck:

Even Monica (lower left) gave it a try while the boys raced off to other endeavors.

The Curious George room was so fun we had to go there twice! (Yes, thus lots of pictures.)

And this was just the first 2 hours of our vacation! Really! There are more Children's Museum pictures (after all, there was water play and a rooftop garden with a climbing structure, the opportunity to be a turtle, etc, etc) but check back for Our Summer Vacation (#2): Paul Bunyan Land.

We love Nana and Baseball

The boys had a great time at a National's game with their Nana a few weeks ago.  Here's a great picture of the three of them:

Putting Your Hatred Where Your Mouth Is

Dismayed. Disheartened. These are the best two adjectives I can think of to explain how I felt about an hour ago. You see, I had traveled today to a different government building than I usually go to, and after working on a project all morning with a colleague, stopped for lunch. As we approached the Corner Bakery, we both noticed a really long line stretching down the sidewalk. I remember thinking "must be free ice cream or something at the place next door."

So we had lunch and then wandered outside to get to the Metro. The line stretched even farther down the block. Looked like tourists and office workers, all hanging out in the hot sun to get into the place next door. I think I gasped when I turned and saw that the store they were all waiting to enter was Chick-Fil-A.

For those who have not followed the news of late, the owner of Chick-Fil-A, Dan Cathy (yes, his name is really Mr. Cathy!) has been vocal about being against same-sex marriage and has donated tons of money to causes that negatively affect gay people. This caused an uproar. So Mike Huckabee (former president-wannabe) has rallied "the troops" to show their support for Chick-Fil-A by buying food there this week. This story shows what happened yesterday in Louisville.

Where was I? Oh yes. In Arlington, VA. A long line snaked down the sidewalk. No one was being militant. People just stood there waiting. I didn't hear any of their conversations. Nicely dressed. Nicely behaved. But to see this long line stretching down the street, I was struck with such sadness.

Parents standing with their children were teaching them to hate before my very eyes. In this group of office workers and tourists, I recognized no one, and yet recognized them all. That silent group that smiles and nods when I introduce my wife but suddenly seems really busy--too busy to chat. Those folks who KNOW what Jesus said in the bible about homosexuality. (Umm...sorry to steal this one from John Stewart (or was it Stephen Colbert?), but hey, Jesus said not one word.)

As we walked past this quiet (yet apparently oh so hungry) crowd, we came upon a reporter interviewing a  woman. I couldn't help but stop for a moment and hear her tell the camera man oh so earnestly how "this was about freedom of speech, and being on the side of righteousness...". I turned away shaking my head as she continued on and on about "love" and "God" etc...

I wish I could tell you I got my 15 minutes of fame right there. How I insinuated myself into the interview and said a thing or two. I did not.

I got on my train and went back to work.

But this is not over.

-Monica

Life is Good

From some recent Facebook snippets...

July 6
Danny telling Susanne all about one of the parents bringing a pet in to show the kids at school, "Mama, it was the biggest snake you never saw!" Indeed.

Guess we'll have to work on the whole never/ever thing, but it was super adorable to overhear.

July 2
I've taught my 2 year old to bellow "it's a scorcher out there!" With feeling. I may have accidentally created a monster, -)

July 2
Looks like it's "Take Your Kid to Work Cuz There is No Electricity at Summer School Day". That's kind of a catchy...

June 25
My boys shower me with gifts every day. Love, affection, humor etc... I just wish they hadn't showered me with their fevers, sore throats and other fun infections that we've spent the past several weeks dealing with. So now they are both on antibiotics for ear infections, and I'm well, I don't know, feeling pretty darn ugh.

June 19
Extricating oneself from a small toddler bed without waking up your (finally sleeping) feverish, demanding, grumpy two year old is not for the lighthearted. Nor in all honesty for anyone weighing more than 50 lbs. (I've attempted this maneuver 3 times in the past 24 hours with varying levels of success.)

June 15
So today I made Benji one of my childhood favorites--peanut butter and jelly on saltines. Except his was sunflower butter and Palmer's All Fiber All Fruit on whole grain saltines. That's progress right?

June 13
We normally use regular band aids, but today I picked up a box of Toy Story ones on sale. Benji was so excited, I was scared for a sec that he was going to purposely give himself an "owie" so we could crack it open right away. ;-)

June 4
"Bujeezus". That thing that gets scared out of you when you sleepily open your eyes to find your two year old staring at you.

Screaming in response is not recommended.

June 3
The boys think I let them watch cartoons on weekend mornings because I love them. But it's really because I love reading the newspaper in peace. And them ;)



Su took a great Instagram pic of the boys when they were finally reunited after a week of being apart while Danny was at Nana's house. Aren't they just the sweetest!



And then we saw the alligators

Last installment of photos from Cypress Gardens: the boys hadn't really been able to see the alligator hiding among the lily pads when we were out on the boat, so we decided to end our day with a short walk along the swamp.  After reading this sign at the entrance to the trail, we knew to keep our eyes open:

We walked out to where I had seen a rather large alligator hiding in the lily pads and using my big lens and with a bit of photo cropping here at home I was able to make the alligator appear:

This next alligator didn't require nearly as much work.  On our way back towards the car he walked right across the path between the boys and myself!  Unfortunately he took me so by surprise that I didn't get a photo of that.  But here he is in the water just moments afterward (hard to tell here, but he's just a baby - maybe 3-4 feet long):

And I found one more baby who thought he was well hidden among these weeds:

And one last photo from Cypress Gardens:

Boys in a Boat

Our next activity at Cypress Gardens after the butter fly house was the swamp boat adventure!  With Nana in the very middle - the middle seat of the middle bench - making sure no one went overboard and Mama in the back paddling, we made our way among the bald cypress trees across the black water of the swamp.  Since I was paddling there aren't too many pics, but here's a few:

Danny was great at spotting the white arrows that marked the path 

- can you spot one on a tree above?

 Benji, Nana & Danny really seemed to enjoy the ride.

  

And here is a difference between my boys in two pictures: Benji, above, spent almost the entire trip hanging over the side of the boat with Nana firmly holding the on to some part of him or his clothing and with his hands splashing in the water.  Danny sat upright, just about as close to Nana as he could get - I think he was a little worried about the potential for meeting up with an alligator.

We did spot a white egret, an osprey, a few turtles and a rather large alligator - however, he was at such a distance that the kids couldn't really see him among the lilly pads. Paddling under bridges was also a lot of fun:

Next up: alligators!

In the Butterfly House

One of the things that we did while at Nana's house in South Carolina this past weekend was visit Cypress Gardens, which was a beautiful place and super fun for the kids.  Our first stop there was the Butterfly House.  Benji was a little impatient to get to the "atta-fy house!!!" as you can see by the pained expression on his face as he is made to pause for this picture on the way to the entrance:

 

The butterflies inside were very beautiful indeed:

 Oh, and there were fascinating bees, too:

Stay tuned for another post...there was much more to see there!

He's a Kindergartner Now!

Today was Danny's last day of PreK.  He is very excited to go to Kindergarten next year, but we'll definitely miss his great teachers, Profe Ilcia and Profe Gris.

Birthday Recap

Clearly it was a very wonderful 5th birthday for Danny!

(and yes, that was a baby praying mantis sitting on his birthday candle at the breakfast table)

Birthday Blast!

Lots more pics to come but Danny's birthday party at the pool was a blast! Our little guy is five. Wow!

Danny and Benji were so happy that their "sisters" made it back from their overseas trip in time to make the party.

Nice shot Miles!

Candy!

Pretty sure he's wishing that it was time to start making the ice cream sundaes!

Little Men at Work

Over the past two weekends we've worked with some of our wonderful neighbors to cut down 3 pickup trucks worth of bamboo. We love having the view of bamboo out our window but over the years without much pruning, we have ended up with an unhealthy mix of brown and dying bamboo mixed in with the live stuff. The two huge snowstorms (Dec. 2009 and Jan. 2010) weighed the branches down terribly and many never recovered. It was time.

Susanne led the charge (the bamboo spans many property lines along our row houses) and Danny and Benji were really interested in the project and both "helped". Benji was particularly proud to wear big over-sized winter gloves so he could be like everyone else. It finally looks better and I for one am glad to be done with it. Between the scratches and the copious amounts of bird "you know what" in the branches,  I'll be glad to look at it all from a distance now rather than up close and personal. Here is a pic or two of the project.

Before the pruning

Danny loading up the truck

Benji, not to be outdone by his older brother.

It may look super pruned but do you have any idea how fast bamboo grows? Well done Susanne and team!

Okay Summer...Bring it On!

Field Trip!

So somehow I once again missed the fact that Danny had a field trip coming up today. Just last night I saw the permission slip in his folder and as usual he begged me to come. At first I told him that I couldn't but then got to feeling guilty. This was his very last trip of the school year and my schedule was fairly free work-wise.

Long story short, I took some time off and next thing you know I was off to Rock Creek Nature Center with 22 happy, active pre-schoolers. A Park Ranger read a story about trees and took us on a nature walk. Then it was off to explore the exhibits. BEES! They had a really cool way to see real bees making honey in their combs. Danny loved it as did all the kids.

Then a picnic lunch and a bunch of running around with impromptu games of "Tag" "Duck, Duck, Goose" and "Simon Says". Then back to school.

Can I just say I love Danny's teachers? Bravo! And how do you have the energy??? ;-) -Monica

Here are the kids "listening" to a tree.

Mr. Park Ranger enthralls the under six set.

Check Out the New Crib (with No Crib!)

This weekend we said goodbye to Benjamin's crib, AND HE SLEPT THROUGH THE NIGHT!

Happy Days here at our house. Here are a few pics of the brothers working together (with help from Mama) on the transformation of their cool room!

As you can tell, our little Super Benji is really excited about this project!

 

 

 

I love that he thought he could really do this all by himself.

In all honesty Danny was none too pleased that all the focus was on Benji, but he got over it and was a big help.

Ah...freedom!

He can't read yet at 29 months but that does not stop him :-)

Birthday Fun with Friends

This weekend Danny was so excited to go to a Taekwondo themed birthday party for his great pal Joakim. The kids had a blast!

The kids say "cheese" while the birthday boy makes a break on the right open a present. Ah yes, 5 year olds!

Danny on a count of three breaks a board at Joakim's party.

The highlight of the session was that the kids got to go up onto a stage and break a board in half. Danny was a little skeptical, but with all his might on a count of three he split that baby. This shot catches him right as he hit it. 

I wish I'd caught a few shots of the seconds after the big hit. What a mix of joy, shock, amazement and pride! Next week Joakim and friends will come together for Danny's 5th birthday party at the pool. 

I just hope that they don't try to break other things with their new found confidence. ;-)


-Monica

Ten Years

I remember the Lily of the Valley blooming so beautifully along the side of my parent’s house in May of 2002. They were amazingly fragrant and gorgeous as they are every spring, and I can only remember looking at them with a mix of joy and pain. You see, they bloomed on the day we buried our dad.

He’d been sick a long time with cancer, and yet this sudden illness (respiratory problems) still took us by surprise. By some miracle I was actually visiting my family in Minnesota from my home in DC when this happened. I could have had no way of knowing that he would get sick, nor that when he left the house that day he would never return.

It’s funny how intense periods result in memories that can only be described as snapshots that never ever fade. I can still see my sister Alice pulling the car up to the house as close as she could so he wouldn’t have so far too walk—that’s how shaky he was. Mom was really hobbled with a knee replacement too and it was all just so stressful I remember.

Like I said, I don’t think that we knew then that this was it, but maybe on some level we did.  Dad had always taken such care to have all of his papers in order, and yet as we were trying to get him out to the car, we realized that we did not know the passwords to his computer--you know that place where all of his papers were in such perfect order? He was able to tell us eventually, but I can picture him now, just looking at us somewhat confused and so tired.

I won’t list all of the memories that have been washing over me as I've reflected on dad today, but I will share one. After days in the hospital hooked up to so many lines and IVs etc…we moved him to a wonderful hospice. After he’d been transported, and attended to by the loving staff, I cried to see him resting so peacefully in soft blue pajamas--his stubble shaved and his skin so clean and soft. So serene. To me, he looked for everything in the world like a little boy peacefully sleeping.

I will forever be grateful for the loving way that the hospice workers, in big ways and small, helped us to just be with him, and help him to die with dignity and peace on that sad day of May 16, 2002.  I loved my dad very much and will always miss him (mom too now that she has joined him).

The Lily of the Valley bloomed very early on our street this year due to the unseasonably warm weather.  By the time I got out to collect a little bouquet it was too late. They were pretty must past their prime. But you know, that’s okay. They’ll bloom joyfully again next year. Just like my memories of dad will. -Monica

Dad with his one and only. I wonder if his corsage was Lily of the Valley? ;-)

Let's Walk and Roll!

This morning Danny's school sponsored a day where all kids were encouraged to walk or ride something to school. It was pretty fun to be met by cheering teachers, staff, neighbors and friends! They called it Walk and Roll and here are a few pictures of our happy commuter! -M

P.S. We are just glad that he's getting the message now that helmets really are a big deal.

So Sayeth...well, me.

Hello gentle readers. Say...I was just thinking about how both my blogging and my "Facebooking" have devolved into a fairly non-stop look at how hilarious I find my sons.

I don't think that there is anything wrong with that, but I find myself interested, in sort of a clinical way, about how this is not something that everyone does.

I've got friends who have kids just as cute as mine who hardly ever mention them (seriously they have very cute kids!) But they they post about civil rights issues, or political stuff or breaking news--maybe mention when the kids have a birthday or something. I have other friends, again with cutie pies, who track down every inspirational poster they can find to share every day. Then I have friends who do the cryptic posts like "only 10 more days to go", and you have no idea what they are talking about (but when they "reveal" it's hardly ever about their kids). Then there are the friends who love to tell you about their sundry experiences throughout the day. Laundry, going to the gym, whatever.  Not me. Pics and funny stories from life with our boys all the way.

So in my first paragraph I wrote that I thought that my writing had "devolved" once I had kids. But I'm not sure if it's a devolution as much as an evolution. You see, Susanne and I actually had a blog before we had children and when I went back to look, was sort of humored by the fact that I used to write about the antics of our cats. Yes, for those of you who remember Harley and CJ, they used to get all the ink...er keystrokes.

So maybe that's my shtick? I'm an ANTICS WRITER? Well, I guess it all balances out. I love to keep up on the news and politics etc...so I'm glad I have friends who post stuff like that (and that I get to read the paper every day.) And I know of at least a few people who don't seem to mind (dare I say encourage me?) to keep the funny quips coming about D&B.

See, I didn't even mention my kids in this post. Well, maybe just a tiny bit. Until next time! -Monica