My Susannax

“What is it sweetie?” I asked with alarm. Just last night Su and I were watching Jeopardy when she made a funny “argh” sound and stopped chewing mid-bite (and it was her favorite “Farmer’s Breakfast” which I’d just made with fried potatoes, ham, pickles and eggs.)

“Is it something you smell? A taste? A sound? “Sound” she said. We live in a row house with neighbors who we sometimes here rattling around but never too much. I asked that series of questions because since Su has been pregnant, things definitely smell and taste different and I thought it might just be that.

Now alarmed, I muted the TV and listened intently upstairs to hear if there could be someone in the house. About a million thoughts (all bad) flashed through my mind in a fraction of a second. Next thing I knew though Su was calmly removing a not so tiny bit of egg shell from her mouth. “Egg shell?” I asked with disbelief. “Honey that is not a sound!” Au contraire. Apparently when one bites down real hard on an egg shell it IS a sound (to them at least). Sheeessssh…. Wow, I felt a tremendous sense of relief.

I see now why both Alprazolam and Xanax both appear in Google’s top 10 “What is” searches this year (they are both the same thing by the way. Alprazolam is the generic of Xanax).

Fortunately since I’ve had my Susanne (er Susannax) in my life, I’ve not needed to use my prescription medication very often any more to help me cope with my sometimes painful anxieties. But my mind does like to spin out fabulous scenarios and probably always will. People with anxiety are not terribly bothered by the past, are fabulous at dealing with the present and are terrified of the future. I just have to keep reminding myself that when the future arrives, whatever it brings, I'll be in the present. And I'm fabulous in the present. But I think I'll hold on to my perpetual prescription to Susannax! Ahhh.... -Monica