Monday, October 30, 2006

Seeing and Hearing

On Friday Su and I visited our fertility doc one last time before starting her prenatal visits with our midwives. Through the wonders of ultrasound and really great audio, we were able to see our baby’s heart clipping along at 136 bpm and also hear the incredibly steady sound of “thump, thump, thump”. It was really something! (I shouldn't have reread Charlotte's Web this summer--all I could think was "Some Heart" and "Terrific!")

On a more serious note, I was thinking a lot about hearts and how amazing it is that they beat without ceasing our entire lives—that is of course until they don’t beat any more. We attended my Aunt Ann’s memorial service this weekend in North Carolina and I thought a lot about hearts. Ann’s family was with her when she passed away, and her daughter Rose who was resting her hand gently on her mom's chest felt it stop. That was a very visceral sign—there was no doubt. For us on Friday seeing and hearing our child’s heart beat was a very visceral sign—again there was no doubt. It’s all very powerful.

Ann’s ashes were scattered yesterday in a harbor near her home. Oh how she loved the water! It was pretty choppy, but we all hung on to the railings and sealed our goodbyes by throwing flowers into the waves. I said a special prayer for my mom who got bumped of of several flights and ended up not traveling--I know that she was praying from Minnesota for her beloved little sister.

Then when we docked and it was time for Su and me to get on the road, I was kissing my relatives goodbye and realized with a start that I was kind of looking for Ann. We were at her house after all--it just seemed odd not to see her any more. God bless you dear Ann. I guess I see that you really are home now. Love, Monica

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