Susanne + Monica = Susanica---Welcome! A bit about us...Monica (the redhead) is sort of hyper, thoughtful and never lacking for ideas. Susanne is calm, brilliant and kind. (Can you tell we wrote these about each other?) We live in DC, and in 2005 we got married (legally in 2010). In 2007 Danny was born, followed by Benjamin in 2009. Here is the story of Susanica & Sons!
Friday, September 22, 2006
You've been what?
Well one day at the cafeteria L's tray wobbled and her glass of milk splashed all over her shirt. Being that she was, again, quite dramatic L. jumped up and in her loudest voice began squealing "I've been milked, I've been milked." Of course she accompanied this by frantically pawing at her now wet t-shirt much to the delight of the whole cafeteria. "L., sit down, shhhhhhh....SHHHHHHSH" Gerri and I tried to calm her down. "What, what?" she demanded to know why we wanted her to be quiet. "I was egged this weekend when we went trick or treating and now look at me---I've been milked, I'VE BEEN MILKED!." I can still hear her voice ;-)
Of course L. also loved to burst into song when ever she was in an elevator--mostly"Love in an Elevator, living it up while I'm going down!" She had no idea what she was singing (or did she?) Ah...memories. Too funny I say! -M
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
We've been linked! We've been linked!
Anyway, later the blog writer decided to do this cool compilation site called Lesbian Families. Su put their link on our page, and I guess since we linked to them, they linked to us. How fun! Gosh, do we have to be wittier now? Or more profound? Or maybe always use spell check? Gosh, what pressure.
Not really. We are delighted. For those of you who follow our saga, we are indeed now in the midst of our second attempt to have a child via artificial insemination. Just yesterday, I thought for some reason it might be interesting to put our sperm donor's number and the name of the cryobank into Google to see if there were any hits. Was that a good idea? I'm just so curious sometimes. What I found was the blog of a lesbian couple who say they are years away from thinking of having kids were just searching around and really liked that this particular donor's profile was a lot like one of the women (same education, hair color, eye color etc...). They listed his number and description in a post. I guess a part of me knows that our child could have 1/2 siblings out there but it's still kind of odd. I'm glad they aren't trying now for some reason.
What I really wondered was if any of the donors themselves ever post their numbers on their own blogs hoping someone will find them. We have an anonymous donor because we definitely like the idea of this child being ours without any triangulation, but who knows? With technology the way it is maybe everyone will know everybody one day.
For my birthday Su got me what I really wanted. My kit to participate in the National Geographic Society's Genographic Project! It's so cool. I had to do a DNA swab and send it in and as soon as they process it I'll be able to use my password to learn more about where the genetic markers I have on my mom's side migrated in the world. There just had to be something before Ireland I'm sure of it!
Alrighty then. I've got to head home now. Wish us good luck--we've got to wait another 13 days or so before we'll know for sure. I've got a good feeling about this! -M
Monday, September 18, 2006
Weekend fun!
Su had a very mysterious bug bite incident this weekend though that I’m afraid I wasn’t very sympathetic to until I saw all the welts. We still don’t know what happened. Bugs just love my Susi those bas$*&@ards!
We are excited to get together with our other “Mamas” from our Maybe Baby class and watch a football game at M & Ks next weekend, and then plan our camping trip (we’ll bring a lot of bug spray!) By the time camping rolls around, Su and I should have some idea as to whether our second try at letting our “adopted” sperm show its stuff was successful. It’s all good.
My thought for the day today has to do with paint rollers. Have you ever tried to wash out a paint roller? It’s darn near impossible to ever get the paint out. No matter how long you rinse it, and no matter how clean it looks, one more squeeze results in only one thing. More paint flowing out. There has got to be a way to use technology to apply this concept to food. Just think! We could feed all the hungry! Wouldn’t that be awesome! Okay, onward and upward! -Monica
P.S. Hey M, best of luck with the new job possibility. That would be AWESOME!
Friday, September 15, 2006
Don't you love cool days and nights?
I think that the power of human touch is amazing. I was single for many, many years so I know what it's like to live alone, sleep alone, feel alone. I think I probably had a lot of fears of getting too close to anyone (which most likely was all related to my lack of understanding about my sexual orientation.) But all that changed when I met Susanne. God willing, I can look forward to my sweetie's wonderful embraces every day. Yes, her touch is like music, or magic or maybe mystical, mindblowing....(enough with the alliterations already right!)
Speaking of touch, I remember once when I was teaching high school kids at a Catholic school, one student told me that her favorite part of Mass was the sign of peace. "Why is that?" I asked her. "Well for some people it's the only time all week that anyone touches them." I felt overwhelmed by her insight. I'm guessing she'd heard that said before and I'm also guessing that it was her mom who said it (just knowing her mom.)
Parents are just a tremendous influence on kids. It has been said that our behaviors are "caught" not "taught." I believe that. I hope that when Susanne and I become parents that we can impart good and sweet things on our children. Yeah, we can do that! Ciao bellas! -Monica
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
Time is flying!
We are both so busy at work lately. And we're getting our porch repainted and slogging on with our basement project. A "carpet" guy came by last night and we ordered some great stuff that is green in more ways than one. It's literally green, (sage I'd call it) and it's made from recycled coke bottles. It's virtually impossible to stain or damage. And best of all it's really comfy and soft. Who knew! So we are pleased with that and now have 3 more weekends of work to do before we've scheduled them to come and lay that in. Yeah!!! Alrighty then. Back to work I go. Have a great day y'all! -M
Sunday, September 10, 2006
Thursday, September 07, 2006
Our mamas are SO COOL!
If you haven't yet noticed, we have a few favorite blogs listed on the side of this space. "Maverick Mama" and "Our Little Honey". We try to keep sort of anonymous so I won't say their names, but both are written by friends we met in our Maybe Baby class last spring. One friend is a single soon-to-be mom and the other is written by a woman who is partnered (is that a verb?) who is also pregnant. The thing about both of these blogs is the raw emotion that sort of spews or leaks out of them. In both blogs our authors share parts of themselves and their lives that are very deep and almost primeval I think. There is a lot of courage in their words, and hopefully a lot of catharsis.
Being gay is not easy in this society. Deciding to parent a child in this society is not easy either, but you know what? Too bad. This is our reality. We are blessed to know these friends because when we read their blogs we have the added benefit of "seeing" them and "hearing" them and in some ways viscerally feel their celebrations and their pain. And they do the same for us. So O. and M. and K (and A. and
Our neighbor Melissa gave us a fun gift recently--a box of camping stick matches that are called "Smart Women" matches. On the box it says "Smart Women Light the Way." Keep that in mind will you ladies? Have a wonderful and blessed day. -Monica and Susanne
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
Danny and Benji's First Year
Danny's 1st month
Danny's 2nd month
Danny's Baptism
Danny's 3rd month
Danny's 4th month
Danny's 5th month
Danny's 6th month
Danny's 7th month
Danny's 8th month
Danny's 9th month
Danny's 10th month
Danny's 11th month
Danny's 12th month
Benji's 1st week
Benji's 1st month
Benji's 2nd month
Benji's 3rd month
Benji's 4th month
Benji's 5th month
Benji's 6th month
Benji's 7th month
Benji's 8th month
Benji's 9th month
Benji's 10th month
Benji's 11th month
Benji's 12th month
Monday, September 04, 2006
whose teasing?
Thursday, August 31, 2006
Still waiting...
Interestingly many women who are not particulary paying attention to their bodies actually get pregnant but never know it. Conception occured, but it didn't stick. So they just get their periods as expected and they are none the wiser. So logically if and when we do find out we are pregnant you'd think we'd hold off in telling anyone until much later. Right?

Like when we could hear the heartbeat or something. Hmmm...we could be---mysterious. That's one thing I've never been accused of before!
Have a great long weekend y'all. We'll keep you posted. (Or will we ;-) -Monica
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
Ah yes, insomnia…
Well perhaps my title in a little misleading. Neither Su nor I have insomnia. But last night while Su was snuffling, sneezing and blowing her nose far away from our air-conditioned (read really dry) room, I awoke unable to sleep. Maybe it was because I was missing the comforting presence of my sweetie. Maybe thoughts of stressful work related things were racing through my mind? (I know, I know, I should know better than to let my thoughts race).Anyway, at around 2:00 am I turned on the TV to----INFOMERCIALS! Oh gosh, I wish I could remember all their names. Something about the food chopper bullet. And then there were the real estate tycoon ones. And of course all the love songs from (choose one: the 50s, 60s, soft rock, country and Shaka Kahn (or maybe it was Elton John?) Fortunately they made me drift off. And even more fortunately Susanne is feeling better today and television at 2:00 am is now a thing of the past! -Mo
Monday, August 28, 2006
Hmmm....we're not paranoid....
Either that, or could it be that they are gay couples who can’t be legally married so are considered to be unrelated?
Honey, I sure hope they enjoyed our trip to Peru. Do you think anyone else got altitude sickness besides me? I hope they got some really nice photos of Machu Picchu too. -Monica
Sunday, August 27, 2006
To blog or not to blog...
We've had a good weekend so far. Working on the basement (our fireplace is really coming along) and seeing some fun friends at a little strawberry shortcake extravaganza yesterday. It was DELICIOUS I might add.So after our sweet treat, we went to a fun get together with friends I've had for years. We all served in the Peace Corps together, and in fact last night we were starting to plan our 20th reunion. Anyway somehow the mention of the word blog came up and one friend asked everyone "who has time to read blogs?" Another one asked "what's a blog again?" Then basically for a few minutes everyone sort of ragged on bloggers, blog readers and concept of blogging in general.
I didn't really say too much, but I was interested because I personally do like to read a few blogs. I always prefer the ones of people I know because I like feeling connected. But I read a blog written by a gay guy in NY that is wonderful. I think he is a great writer and comes up with really interesting things to blog about just about every day. I read one called Dooce that is written by a woman named Heather. It's a bit about the minutia of everyday life raising her kid, but she's funny (I can't believe some of the stuff she comes up with.) Our neighbor down the street has a blog and sometimes I actually learn about stuff happening in our neighborhood by just reading his blog. Another friend had let me know that her college friend was diagnosed with cancer in the spring. So I follow her friend's blog where she writes about her treatment and her feelings. I imagine writing the blog is therapeutic for her, and I know that reading her blog inspires me and helps me continue to send positive thoughts her way. Again, I think blogs are about connection (even if you don't know the person.)
I remember once reading that most people read Dear Abby not to hear how she answers questions, but because everyone loves learning that others have the same issues/problems that they do. Knowing that one is not alone is very powerful.
And, no matter what job I had, I think if I worked with a computer with internet access I'd always find a few minutes each day to read blogs. How long does it take to read a blog entry? An average of 1 minute perhaps? I remember reading a book once called "Orbiting the Giant Hairball". The guy who wrote it says that we all need time to take stuff in, rather than just producing all the time. We lose our creativity so easily when we must produce, produce, produce. Cows will actually produce more milk for you if you'll just let them take a little time to chew on grass and relax rather than trying to milk them 24/7. I can identify with that. My work style is such that I can have 5 different projects open on my desk at the same time, and if I can step away from one of them for a bit, I come back to it refreshed and much more able to improve it.
So I look at blogging, reading blogs etc...as ways to help me use all sides of my brain and keep my creative juices flowing. But blogging takes time too. And when I don't blog very often I sort of feel guilty. I like the nourishment I feel from reading other people's words and I hope that I can do the same for them.
Anyway, those are my thoughts on blogging. I'm off now to partake in another delight--I'm going to read the Sunday paper with my sweetie, cover to cover! -Ciao. -Monica
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
Esperar
Still…if we get good news we may have to name the little one “Jackpot” right? ;-) (Kidding honey! I meant "Yatzee!" ;-)As I mentioned we are in our waiting phase and I was just thinking about the verb wait. In Spanish, the verb is “esperar”. In addition to meaning "to wait" it also means "to hope"—and also to "expect". In fact when a woman is pregnant, in Spanish she is said to be “esperando”. I guess it means she is “expecting” like we’d say in English, but I think “hoping” and “waiting” are mixed in there too. I worked as a health volunteer in Peace Corps in Guatemala and also with some pregnant women who were Cuban migrants in Guantanamo Bay in Cuba (in the 1990s.) Anyway, I always thought it was really neat how they described giving birth to a child as to “dar la luz” which means to “give the light”. I like that. Give the light. Have a great day y’all! -Monica
Working from home
Let me provide an example… we are trying to become rep payee for a particular client so that we will receive her Social Security Disability Income (SSDI) and Supplemental Security Income (SSI) and use it to pay her rent at the Community Residence Facility (CRF) where she lives – stick with me here, those are the only three acronyms I will use, I promise. Let’s call her Ms. X. Ms. X used to live in one CRF and the CRF operator was her payee. The CRF went out of business and Ms. X moved to a new CRF. That’s when we were asked to become the payee. When we first went to the Social Security Administration to apply to become payee, we did not have any documentation that proved that the old CRF closed and that they were not able or willing to continue as payee. Our application was put on hold. Eventually, the old CRF confirmed for Social Security that they would no longer be payee for Ms. X – however, some how this got translated in the Social Security computer system into “Ms. X is dead”. Once Social Security saw this, they returned our payee application to us—dead folks don’t need payees. If Social Security thinks you are dead (or half dead—oddly enough, it is only her SSI record that says she is dead, not her SSDI record), you must go to a Social Security Office with two forms of ID to prove that you are still alive. (I wonder if they take your pulse or something?) Ms. X has done
this. Twice. However, she could go to Social Security ten times with five forms of ID and until someone actually changes the record in the computer she will continue to be dead. And as long as she is dead, we can’t become her payee. Meanwhile, Ms. X is being evicted from her new CRF because she cannot pay the rent. This means that she now needs to move for the second time in three months and there will be a third CRF operator clamoring for money. Let’s just hope that processing a second address change doesn’t crash the whole Social Security system or have some equally dire consequence.So now you see exactly the type of exciting work that keeps me from blogging on a work day. Amazing, no? Guess you have to be me to really appreciate it. Can you appreciate this graphic?
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
A tale of weekend construction
Susanne is feeling pretty much the same as she always does, so we do not have any magical nor mystical signs that the insemination might have worked. We'll still have to wait another 10 days or so to learn more and that's okay. We've both been diving back into books we purchased a while ago on conception etc...which is pretty understandable.
Su's dad came by this weekend to help us with our basement remodeling. Lots of scraping, measuring, hammering etc... By the end of the weekend my back was killing me. Of course ironically my back was killing me not because of the afore-mentioned activities which were mainly done by Su and her dad--my injury was most likely caused by slouching in a camping chair that we have set up in the basement while our couch is packed away elsewhere. You see, my role was to jump up and get the real workers whatever they needed--tools, beverages, safety goggles--you get the picture. The rest of the time I was engrossed in TLC and the Discovery Channel in a rather supine pronated position (don't ask--we have really cheap camping chairs). I will however, take credit for the new little hinged door that now covers our water shut off valve. After I found the wood and (with help) measured it properly, and (with help) sawed it perfectly, and (with help) identified the proper screws that wouldn't go too deep, voila--the door was done!
So my back is still hurting me and I sort of walk like Frankenstein. It's not really a good look for me. The basement is really coming along though which is very exciting. We'll post some pictures of it soon. Alrighty then. I'm off to have a lunch that won't stick to my ribs (or abdomen). Wish me luck! -Monica
Saturday, August 19, 2006
Too cute!
Gosh, I just had to post this adorable picture from last month's wedding which featured my adorable niece Niki and her new husband Marcus. That's what web logs (blogs) are for right? Sharing thoughts, ideas and pics that inspire and delight? And the best part is that next summer Niki's sister Melissa will tie the knot with her sweetheart David. We may have to have an "adorable picture" competition! Have a great weekend everybody! -Monica (and Susanne)
Friday, August 18, 2006
The clock starts ticking----now!
Well what unexpected fun we had this morning! We'd been wondering when the magical day would arrive this month (you know, when the moon would be in the 7th house and Jupiter would align with Mars etc...). Anyway, today turned out to be our day! So to make a long story short, there is a small window of opportunity each month when a woman is really at her peak fertility point. If some "little swimmer" can just get where it is supposed to be, then PRESTO -- 9 months later--well, you get the picture. For those of us who happen to be in sperm-free situations (yes, as lesbians, we are in that category) the next best option is to identify and acquire some sperm. (Does that sound like governmenteze?) So we arranged a few months ago to buy and store the sperm of a donor who met our requirements (oh dear, that definitely sounds like governmenteze) and have just been in a bit of a holding pattern until now.
Anyway, although we thought we had a few more days to wait, our technology told us otherwise. So at 9:45 this morning, Susanne and I chatted for a few minutes with our fertility doctor while he introduced the sperm we'd "adopted" from a sperm bank to Susanne's hopefully receptive self.
Several of our friends have gone through this same process so we sort of knew what to expect, but like most things, you don't really know what it's like until you experience it for yourselves! I guess I just can't explain it well except to say that it is really very special and powerful to make a plan and then take the steps you need to do to bring a child into the world. We can't control what the future holds, but today we got to experience something really sweet and exciting that I know we'll never forget. I was thinking today about how earlier this year we got to see the Southern Cross while visiting Peru. It was a crystal clear night in Aguas Caliente, and Susanne looked up and in the millions of stars saw what I couldn't understand at first. A local gentleman confirmed her hunch. We were seeing the Southern Cross! When she showed me I was so happy! I was thinking about this today for some reason. Susanne always sees the things I can't grasp. She's amazing that way.
Anyway, back to this morning. Susanne had read in the "News of the Weird" (and posted last month) about some study that showed that women were more likely to conceive if a clown humored them immediately after insemination. (The key word above is weird!") Nevertheless, I did try my best to make my sweetie laugh. Susanne (intelligent woman she is!) quickly vetoed my first attempt to use my favorite old standby "why did the cookie go to the hospital? -- it felt crummy!" joke (that was always my niece's favorite!) So I came up with my own. "Why did the pastry wash itself with dandruff shampoo? -- it felt flaky!" I'm not sure if she'll admit it, but Susanne did laugh. Of course she laughs at almost all of my nutty attempts at humor! She's the best!
Well, wish us luck. I'll try not to be anxious or nervous or anything (wait, I can hear her laughing at me from all the way across town!) We'll know if this works out in a couple of weeks. I wish that clock would tick faster!!! All for now. -Monica
Thursday, August 17, 2006
A word is worth how many pictures?
Hmmm… I was just thinking about the word “uninspired” that I used in the first paragraph. There must be something in that word that has to do with spirit or breath. Don’t you just love words? Like evangelize. I don’t like the thought of evangelizing, but I like that the word “angel” is in the middle of it. I sometimes think of a song I know about “angels unaware.” It’s basically reminding us that we should always see the holy in those we meet because “whatsoever you do to the least of my brother you do unto me.” I’ve always liked that concept. I just think that maybe we should switch it around and try to be “angels aware” to those who we love. Just try to be a blessing to at least one person every day. I like to think I do this, but I don’t always succeed. But then I just try again, so I guess my intention is the important thing here. I like it when people pray for me or bless me and I definitely like to do the same for others. Amen, end of sermon! ;-)
Anyway, what is my favorite word? I guess it would have to be “murmur”. It’s just sort of perfect right? So now since I have to finish up some work I’m going to murmur a soft goodbye…. goodbye…. -Monica
Tuesday, August 15, 2006
The daily grind...
Let's see? What else is new? Work is busy for both of us. Our neighbor who works for CARE and who has been in Lebanon the past 3 weeks is due to return tomorrow which is fantastic news. We really hope and pray that this war (and all wars) stop and stay stopped.
What else...I've been having some success with my first ever attempt at Weight Watchers. I've gone from one hundred and something to one hundred and something less! About 8 pounds off in 5 weeks which I'm very happy about.
Not much else to report right now. Our cats still love our new furniture (particularly the arms of our recliner) and so we've been practicing nicely squirting them with a small water bottle when they start their claw-extended stretching. Alrighty then. Back to the old grind. I wonder if you start a new job if you get to call it the "new grind" for a period of time? Have a great day everyone (where every you're logging in from!) -Monica
