A happy 90th birthday it was indeed

One impetus for our trip to Germany in April was because Susanne's paternal grandfather was turning 90. His wife passed away around a year ago, and it's been a time of transition for him. He didn't want a big party but we spent several days visiting--going for walks and enjoying the gorgeous weather, and had a nice dinner in town.

I think that the pictures here will attest to the fact that Opa was delighted to see his us (and in particular, his great-grandsons.) Clearly the feeling was mutual! Happy Birthday Opa!

Still going and going and going...

Wonderful two week trip to Germany - check

Arrive back home as family members fly in for Benjamin's baptism - check

Have a beautiful baptism ceremony on Sunday (host brunch and shuttle family members from hotel to church to house and back again) - check

Get ready for trip to Chicago for work tomorrow -check

Discover that the flight is actually not tomorrow, it is today in about 3 hours - check

Fortunately lovely niece lives in Chicago and they are delighted I can stay the night with them (cuz, I kinda forgot to get a hotel room for tonight since I thought I was flying tomorrow.) - Check

I am known for this kind of thing. - check

----------

Yes, it's been a VERY BUSY 3 weeks now but now I must stop typing because I have to get on an airplane! Bye! -Monica

Forget Paris in springtime...try Köln

A week ago today, we were able to catch one of the first flights to leave the US for Europe for our long planned trip to Germany. Thank goodness the flight restrictions because of the volcano were lifted. We were pretty anxious about whether we'd really get to go or not. In fact, the day before we flew Su's dad's flight here was cancelled which made us even more nervous.

But we got very lucky and our flight took off as planned. We have had a wonderful time in Germany thus far. We've all had a bit of jet lag but on the bright side, the first night we were here we all slept for more than 10 straight hours. Su slept some on the redeye flight but I did not so she was somewhat more alert than I was. I was sure that one or both of the boys would be up fussing but nope, everyone crashed. Alleluia!

The boys' great grandfather turned 90 yesterday and we had a nice time visiting him and now we are continuing our tour visiting the other 30 some cousins, aunts and uncles who are all equally delighted to see us (well mostly the boys of course!)

My German language skills are still horrible but it does not seem to stop me from talking (in German even :-) The food here is wonderful, the weather cool but lovely and overall on a scale of 1-10 this trip is about an 11.

I'll write more when we return. This German keyboard confuses me!! -M

Oops we did it again...

Got married that is. This time legally. It was very informal and great fun. More later! -M

Guess who is four months old today!

You are correct! The gentleman in red.

To see more cute pictures of our darling Benji (and some guest appearances by his sidekick Danny) click here. You don't have to have a log in or anything. Just click "View Album" then "Play Slide Show". Hasta la vista babies! -Mommy and Mama

We leave Danny and Benji alone downstairs for one short minute....

...and this is what we find. What does it mean? Does he want Benji to put on shoes and play with him? Was he trying to cover him up? I guess we'll never know. Just glad he must have placed them gently. If he hadn't we surely would have heard about it from Benjamin. Kids. Sheeesssss.

Random thoughts for a Thursday

Danny is on the mend we think—the burn cleaning and bandaging is the worst part but he is remarkably resilient.

Benjamin picked today to roll over for the very first time! We all know that kids have lots of milestones as they grow, but there is something very special about that first roll over. It’s as if this little being is saying “enough”! “I’m busting out!” I love it.

We will be leaving soon on a long planned trip to Germany to see Su’s family. The boys’ great grandfather will turn 90 this month and we’d promised we’d bring Danny back when Opa hit the the big Nine Oh. Added bonus point? He’ll get to know adorable little Benji now too.

And finally, before leaving for Germany, Susanne and I will officially “tie our knot” on Monday night. Our pastor will come by the house for dinner and we will become officially married. Maybe our dinner should have “something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue”? Well, maybe not the something too old ;-)

-M

"I want this boo boo to go away"

“Me too baby, me too” I thought as my eyes filled with tears. He was exhausted from crying and fought me as I continued to awkwardly hold him to keep his burned arm under the water in the sink of our hotel bathroom.

It all happened so fast. Yesterday morning at around 7 am we were at a beautiful hotel on the Chesapeake Bay, a place my agency holds a conference every year. This year we decided to make it a “workcation” and Su and the boys came along.

I remember putting the single cup coffee cup into the little machine and letting him stand on our cooler to watch it drip. What was I thinking? That those hotel coffee pots always made tepid coffee so it couldn’t be hot? That at the age of two he would actually listen to me when I told him not to touch anything?

I was turned away from him putting something into a bag. Su was nursing Benji across the room.

His scream was blood curdling. I remember racing to him and pulling is long sleeved shirt off of him. That’s when we realized that the skin on his forearm was coming off too.

Ambulance, ER, Tylenol with codeine, changing the bandage several times, debriding the wound more.

The burn is the most painful kind—a second degree (in his case over most of the top of his forearm below the elbow to the wrist.) Thankfully the joints were spared.  I remember thinking in the ER that I wished he did not suck his thumb. All he wanted to do was to suck his left thumb for relief but as it was the arm that was burned, it was hard to do so without a great deal of pain.

With first degree the skin is not broken and yes it hurts but it gets better with topical remedies. Third degrees are by far the most serious but they actually burn so badly that the nerve endings are destroyed and the permanent damage is horrific. Our hope is that by cooling it under running water for the 20 minutes until the EMTs arrived we avoided that. So he has the second degree. Open, susceptible to infection, in a word—painful. Our job is to keep it clean and prevent infection.

We are on our way in a few minutes to see our pediatrician for follow up. Danny has been a trooper. The pain medication helps I’m sure, but for the most part he’s his usual self except when we have to change the dressing and wash the area before applying a special antibiotic crème, he cries and cries. I would too.
   
We are pretty shaken up too. It all happened in an instant. Hug your babies extra close today friends. We sure are.

Baby love

That's what friends are for

Act 1, Scene 1 : Danny playing in sandbox.

Danny - "I saw a kitty cat!"
Mommy - "You did! That's great sweetie? Awwww.... where's the kitty cat now honey? What sounds did he make? Meow, meow? Was he a big kitty or a little kitty?"...on and on ad nauseum.


Act 1, Scene 2 : Danny playing in the sandbox later that day with 5 year old friend.

Danny Danny - "I saw a kitty cat!"
Five year old friend - "Don't worry about it".

Caption this!

*Disclaimer - No infants were injured by the near "head butt" seen in the photo above.

See?

Here come the brides. Again.

Imagine that you had the wedding of your dreams. Virtually everyone you loved was there, and you just floated on cloud nine all day.

The weather was perfect (albeit a bit hot) the music was wonderful, the readings so touching, the toasts so loving, the reception such a great party--perfection. And without a doubt, the spirit of that higher power who brought this love of your life to you was everywhere that day.

Then imagine that this wedding was everything but legal. You were married for all intents and purposes but your marriage was not recognized as legally binding nor acceptable to your church or government.

Well, imagine no more. This was our wedding story that took place on August 6th, 2005. The most beautiful day of our lives. But because we are a gay couple, it did not "count" in our church nor state.

Fast forward 5 years and the times are changing. The church we now belong to has taken bold strides to be a welcoming congregation and after spirited discussions and back and forth with the larger body of that church structure has now said that they will marry us.  And in an amazing turn of events, the progressive city that we live in (which is not a state but a district) has jumped through all kinds of hoops to finally make it possible for gay couples to get legally married.

So later this month my beloved Susanne and I will be legally  married. To be clear, we will not have another wedding. That glorious event in 2005 will always be our wedding day. But in a simple gathering of just us, our little boys and our pastor, we will renew our vows and with a stroke of a pen become legally married.

I don't know which appeals to me more. Letting little Danny and Benji be a part of this monumental step? Knowing that the love Susanne and I share will be more widely accepted to the world around us? Or knowing that I won't have to try and fit into my wedding dress again? ;-)

We'll be sharing the original readings from our 2005 wedding with our pastor as we prepare to legally wed and as much as I loved them all, this is the one that now five years later sort of chokes me up. I think it's the mention of the children we might someday have. I could not then have imagined these beautiful sons that we have been blessed with. For those who don't know the "Blessing of the Hands" I hope you enjoy it as much as we did. -Monica

“These are the hands of your best friend, strong and full of love for you, that are holding yours on your wedding day, as you promise to love each other today, tomorrow, and forever. 

These are the hands that will work alongside yours, as together you build your future. 

These are the hands that will passionately love you and cherish you through the years, and with the slightest touch, will comfort you like no other. 

These are the hands that will hold you when fear or grief fills your mind. 

These are the hands that will countless times wipe the tears from your eyes; tears of sorrow, and tears of joy. 

These are the hands that will tenderly hold your children.

These are the hands that will help you to hold your family as one.

These are the hands that will give you strength when you need it. 

And lastly, these are the hands that even when wrinkled and aged, will still be reaching for yours, still giving you the same unspoken tenderness with just a touch.”

P.S. The words of this reading are so true. Except of course that last part about when we are old and wrinkled. Check back with you in a few years on that! -M

Happy Easter!

ummm...do I look like I work at Trader Joe's in this shirt?

I want to tell you something!

Oh wait. Can't talk quite yet. aaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!

So Proud - Our 10,000th comment just came in!

Yes, we've had our blog since right before Danny was born in 2007 and yesterday we logged our 10,000th comment!

April Fools! Maybe we've had about 100 comments on the blog by now.

But seriously, thank you to those who do drop a note from time to time. Your words always make me smile.  Have a great day everybody (and that's no joke ;-)

-Monica

April Fools!

Aw crap.

Maybe tomorrow.

Must think of clever April Fools idea now. Not sure how that will happen as I can't even think of anything clever to write for a blog post.

Until tomorrow...

Be afraid. Not very afraid. Just a little afraid ;-)

A visit to a petting zoo while visiting Nana

Word to the wise.

Sometimes it's better to just look than to try and pet.

Hi there smiley Benji!

Well that's a relief

You know, I don't have too many aspirations for my children. Just want them to be able to give and receive love, kindness and peace etc... and well, to be healthy.  But there is one other thing that I've always secretly hoped for, and that would be that they'd follow Susanne's lead regarding table manners.

You see, Susanne like most people who originally come from Europe, eats elegantly. Her fork and knife magically dance together on her plate to gracefully make it all look so easy.  She even knows how to lay the silverware in the proper position when she's done at a restaurant to signal that she is finished. Her whole German family is a bunch of elegant eaters if you want to know the truth.

I, on the other hand, am sort of a food shoveler. I think it probably comes from having so many brothers and sisters. You see, I learned to eat fast, using the arm not holding a utensil to protectively guard my plate. (I believe the word is "uncouth"). I never thought much about this as a kid. Seemed to me to be a pretty efficient way to eat in all honestly.  Anyway, as I grew older it occurred to me that I might need to modify this method lest I look like starving hyena. So I began to study others. For example, I soon learned that people often start their meals by putting their napkin on their laps. Hmmmm...interesting.

And I don't think I'd ever noticed as a kid that tables were supposed to be set a certain way. Fortunately my friend Amy M. once gave me some great advice to help me keep this all straight. She taught me that every utensil with 5 letters goes on the right (cuz the word right has 5 letters see) and every utensil with 4 letters goes on the left (cuz the word left has 4 letters.) Try it! Fork, left. Knife, spoon to the right. This little trick has saved me from a lot of embarrassment over the years.

I got to work with some State Department protocol officers a few years ago and it was fascinating have dinner with them often while we traveled and hear stories of how they were trained. Who knew you should tear off one piece of bread at a time off your dinner roll, butter that piece and eat it, before tearing another piece? Eye opening to say the least. 

The point of my story? Well even though at age two Danny still tends toward not even using silverware very much at all, he's getting better about it and surprised us about a week ago by grabbing a nearby knife (which I'm sure was on my right) and properly cutting his food just like he's seen Mama Susanne do a million times.

Warms my heart it does. Let's hope he picks up on lots of other stuff the way she does it! Have a great weekend everybody. -Monica

P.S. In the pic above Danny models how to elegantly eat his "eggy". He also loves to make his "eggy". One egg, splash of milk, bit of salt and pepper (all in a large glass bowl) beaten together with a fork (which is his favorite part). Then 1 minute in the microwave. It really is quite good. Try it!

Our happy discovery

You know how people are always finding potato chips and stains on pizza boxes that look like people in the bible and stuff? Well, as we opened up our left over mashed potatoes last night, I couldn't help but notice that we too seemed to be eligible to become a part of this exclusive club.

What to do about it? Quick!! Call the blogosphere!

I guess I should just be happy that this plastic-ware company didn't choose a name like "CRANKY" or "BITTER". Have a great day everybody. I know I'll be glad to! -Monica

Boys will be boys

This photo comes to us courtesy of our dear friend Jenni at Oscarelli. Jenni is Danny's "day mother" (if you translate from the German) and her task every day is to herd cats. I mean...um...to make sure Danny and Oscar don't have too many opportunites to conspire against us. A nobel and apparently very difficult task! Welcome to spring boys! They love being outside. Don't we all! -Monica

Memories, light the corner of my office

I've started a new daily ritual at work. You see, the federal agency where I work is going to completely renovate our historic building, which means that almost everybody has to relocate for several years.

I'm actually pretty happy about it. I get to move to a brand new building that is just about 2 miles from our house (yeah!) . The move is slated to begin around Christmastime and my new ritual involves taking 5 minutes every morning to attack another drawer to recycle, toss or shred stuff I just do not need to keep. I figure if I do a little bit every day it won't be so overwhelming come winter.

But one thing I hadn't counted on was how it would feel to do this every morning. I've ended up discovering a very random collection of stuff (umbrellas, eight year old boxes of raisins, sippy cups?) but it's the note pads and old calendars that really get to me. Because the words there reflect different chunks of my life that now rarely cross my mind.

The perspective can be good. I can remember how stressed I was let's say six years ago about a certain project and now reading the words I don't feel stress at all (heck, I can't even remember some of the stuff that seemed SO IMPORTANT back then). Anyway, this gives me great hope that the things that are so stressful to me today will one day be equally unimportant in my life.

But some things I've read are really poignant to me. Like today I pulled out an old calendar--2002 At a Glance. I guess I relied more on paper calendars than back then than I do now, because there is so much detail in what I wrote. One that really brought me back in time was a little doodly note I scratched out on May 25, 2002.

"Grief is really hard work. You'd think I'd be much thinner now."

My dad had died on May 16th, which is why I wrote the note--losing him was just heartbreaking and I was trying to go on, but it was really hard. The reason this struck me so much is because this is EXACTLY the kind of thing my dad would have said. I miss him so much still, but I also feel some peace in the fact that his goofy way of looking at the world lives on. Not just in me, but in my brothers and sisters and all of us. I'll always regret that he never got to meet Danny and Benji. He would have been in heaven. Wait, I'm pretty sure that's where he is now! (Yes, this is an example of goofy.)

By the way, in case you're wondering, I tossed this calendar out with the rest. I always think of the Indigo Girl's song that says "don't take a picture, remember this in your heart". I just can't keep everything. Well, maybe just a few things... ;-)

Alrighty then. Back to my regularly scheduled work day. Wonder what tomorrow's 5 minutes of cleaning will bring! -M

Down the aisle

I’m very behind in my blogging but I wanted to share a bit about our experience a few weeks ago when Susanne and I applied for our marriage license. March 3rd was the magic day that it became law that we could get married here, and even though we were not among the very first to get in line, early the following week, when our schedule allowed, we trekked on down to the Marriage License Bureau in DC Superior Court.

We submitted all of our paperwork and swore and affirmed "so help us" that we intended to legally marry here in DC.

There were several other couples (mostly gay) who were already waiting in a corridor (or aisle) and the mood was very upbeat. As we stood in a line, a staff member walked down the hall talking to each couple to make sure they had all the right documentation and forms. Right behind us was a group of 3 young people--two men and a woman. At first we weren’t sure who of the group was getting married to each other, but it soon became clear that the woman was just along as a friend. The staff member asked both men if they had ID to show that they were at least 18 and of course I had to comment in a not so soft whisper, “hey, she didn’t ask me if I had ID to prove I was over 18!” For a second she thought I was serious, but she cracked up along with everyone else when she quickly realized that I was JUST KIDDING!

Eventually we were seated in room with couches where we all quietly waited our turn. Benji slept peacefully though it all in his stroller and after about an hour we were all done and headed home with instructions to return in 3 business days to pick up the license.

As I understand it, the bureau usually processes an average of 12 licenses on a given day, but with this new law just going into effect, their workload has increased significantly. Now they are doing something like 12 per hour instead of per day. I read this morning that 700 licenses had been applied for so far in March. To their credit, the staff did a great job handling the crowd.

I returned that Friday as directed, this time to pick up our official license with two year old Danny this time (Su stayed home with Benji because it was so rainy but Danny and I splashed our way over on the Metro). This time the line out in the hallway was much longer, probably 40 couples. I was able to scoot right to the front since I was there to “pick up” which was good because I think those folks were going to be there for several hours.

The mood on this day was even more festive! The staff had figured out they could process people faster if they changed their procedure a bit, so they were out in the waiting area administering the oaths as fast as they could in an attempt to keep up. Although people had been waiting for hours they were cool. In fact it was kind of a party atmosphere. As the clerk called the next couples’ names for the next thing to do, every one whooped and cheered. It’s like they’d all been friends forever!

When my name was called and a clerk handed me our license I turned around to calls of “you go girl” and stuff like that. I took a little bow and said "now Danny's other mom and I can be legally married" and everyone clapped and cheered even louder (especially Danny who thought this was great fun!)

I didn’t expect to feel some of the feelings I felt going through this process so far. Sitting next to Susanne in that courthouse the first day we went I felt a sense of happiness and, I think a sense of victory or something. I guess I felt like we’d “won” because we could now be legally married, and I will admit that as I looked at Susanne sitting next to me I also felt like I’d “won” because she is simply the best. I am very blessed. And on the day I went back to pick up the license I felt a real sense of camaraderie with an amazing community of people. A community I am proud to be a part of! -Monica

Bad blogger! Bad blogger!

Apologies to the handful of folk out there who enjoy regular updates. I was away on travel for work for about a week and wasn't able to blog. Promise to be better. Once I wade though several million e-mails. Hasta la vista! -Monica

Three Months Old Already!

It's hard to believe, but our Benjamin is three months old today!  Unfortunately, the boy owns not a stich of green clothing to wear this St. Patty's Day (ok, maybe something in a light pastel and a size too small), but I think you'll find these pictures of him over the course of this last month are very cute indeed. Here's a sample:

Click here to see the full slideshow & enjoy!

Nana Floats His Boat

Ok , so really Mama is floating the boat, but it was Nana's idea and it sure made him happy!

Hmmmm….Six Degrees of Something

So Susanne and I like to read the same kinds of books. Thrillers, murder mysteries. You get the picture. And two authors we enjoy who write similar kinds of books are Vince Flynn and Brad Thor.

Now I’m one of those wacky sort of people who actually reads all of the acknowledgements that authors put in the back of books, and last night I was very interested to see that Brad Thor in “State of the Union” (which features Navy Seal kinda character Scot Harvath) thanked his friend Washington insider David Vennett for assistance with the novel.

Huh?

You see, a few years ago I noted that Vince Flynn (who writes stuff like Consent to Kill featuring Navy Seal Mitch Rapp) also thanked his Washington insider friend David Vennett for his help.

This would all be just another example of a mind that remembers perfectly random things, except for the fact that I know David Vennett. We both worked for a year on the G-8 Summit that was held on Sea Island in Georgia in 2004. (If you ever read this, hi David!)

The plot thickens.

You see I sort of know Vince Flynn’s family. I was a high school teacher early in my career and taught one of his sisters at the same time he was at a military school across the way (although I must admit I don’t remember meeting Vince).

But in this brave new connected world I would think that my new friends Vince and Brad might need to get some advice from this Washington insider. For example, I could tell them where to get the best deal on Huggies, or how not to pronounce Washington “Warshington”.

The possibilities are endless if you think about it. Maybe I should FB “friend” them.

Or maybe they should “friend” me! I’m waiting gentlemen.

Have a great night everybody! -Monica

I think I need a checklist for my checklist

• Get local police background check done so I can legally adopt Benji.
• Get fingerprints taken so I can send them to the FBI for totally different background check so I can legally adopt Benji.
• Go to Office of Vital Statistics to pick up another certified copy of our Domestic Partnership Certificate so I can use it when I apply for marriage licence to legally marry my wife.
• Go to courthouse with Susanne and apply for a marriage licence so I can legally marry my wife.

Seems like I have to do a lot of things lately so I can be legal. Considering I'm pretty darn law abiding it's a bit overkill, but I do what I'm told. Did I mention that each of these steps include paying money? I honestly feel like I've been a human ATM machine the past few days.

Oh no! I'm whining. I hate whiners. Guess this blog post is done. Have a great day everybody. -Monica

Hi Nana!

Our beautiful Benjamin!

Rule #2376 - A steady stream of sugar results in a steady stream of ARGH!

Hi everybody. Sorry to be so bad about blogging of late. Hope to get back into more of a groove in the days to come. Life's just busy and I can't seem to make it unbusy, but that's okay.

Life is indeed busy but also very good. Benji is 2 1/2 months old now and it's been so awesome to watch him transition from flipsy flopsy little newborn into alert, engaged, smiling boy. We've got to some pics up soon. His grin is to die for. Just as sweet as can be. He especially likes it if you sort of howl like a little wolf at him. He howls right back and smiles up a storm. I had a dream right after he was born that we'd actually named him Wolfgang instead of Benjamin so I've been calling him Wolfie. Danny likes to call him Wolf sometimes too, but Susanne is not really feeling the whole Wolfie thing. Only time will tell if it will stick. All I know is that when we play our little wolf howling game he cracks up. Seems like a sign to me!

Anyway, speaking of sweetness and sugar, this weekend we had a group of friends over who have also recently given birth. It was what Su wanted for her birthday and it was a great idea. The only teeny problem was that two year old Danny was thrilled to help with all the food preparation and EATING. Cookies cut in the shape of baby carriages, chewy whole wheat chocolate chip cookie bars, homemade carrot cake with delicious cream cheese frosting and lots of other assorted yummy foods. We also put out somewhat more nutritious things, but heh, he's two and so during the course of the day he found a way to sample just about every sweet thing he could get his little mitts on.

By Saturday evening he was a bit wound up but did manage to fall asleep after the usual routine. But then he was up at 3, then 3:30 then again at 4:30 am--this time for good.

He was SO TALKATIVE. I told Susanne I think in the period of one hour he used every single word I've ever spoken to him. Just a running narrative of everything he could think of to talk about. He finally ate and egg and toast and I was hopeful that it would act like insulin and level out his clearly toxic level of sugar OD but no. He just kept chatting.

He did crash at naptime. What a relief. Lesson learned for us. I think. No wait, I can't think anymore. My brain is overloaded with toddler words and lack of sleep. Next time? I have no idea.

Onward and upward! -Monica

And I just couldn't wait for him to start talking....

Last night.

Mommy to Danny "Baby you are so little."

Danny to Mommy "No mommy. You are SO BIG!"

(And yet I still adore him. Go figure ;-)

What a great day! Su's birthday and this!

From the DC.gov website today March 3, 2010

Marriage License Information
The minimum age for marriage in the District of Columbia is 18 years or 16 years with the consent of a parent or guardian. Proof of age for the applicant's must be shown and may be demonstrated by driver's licenses, birth certificates, passports, or similar official documents. The Marriage License Application fee is $35.00 (this fee will be waived if a Domestic Partnership Certificate registered under D.C. Code §32-702 is presented at the time of application). The Certificate of Marriage fee is $10.00. All fees must be paid by cash or money order (made out to Clerk, D.C. Superior Court) for the license to be issued.

Yes, although we were married 5 years ago in August, as of today we can apply for a marriage license where we live. And what a bonus! Since we already have a Domestic Partnership Certificate we don't have to pay the $35 application fee. It just keeps getting better and better!

We do plan to take advantage of this opportunity to get legally married soon. A big shout out to all who have fought so long for legal marriage and will continue to fight. Thank you! -Monica

Happy Birthday Mama!

This Saturday morning, Danny insisted on making a cake for Mama's upcoming birthday. Since I'm not a "from scratch" kinda baker, I rummaged around and found one cake mix. Angel food.  But we didn't have an angel food kind of pan so we ended up making two regular pans.

Of course he insisted that we make it very special, so we sort of, kind of, made it into a Dinosaur. (One of his favorite books is Danny and the Dinosaur).

Here is the end result. It was fun and surprisingly delicious. Happy Birthday Susanne. Roooaaarrrr!

Hey, I want my week back!

Have you ever had the feeling that life is going by so fast that you just missed it? I can't believe I haven't posted in a week, but I guess things are just so busy. Of course looking back on the past seven days we've had Danny getting over a viral infection, and work has been very stressful of late. (My boss is recovering from a sudden illness which means a lot more stuff got thrown my way--she is s wonderful person and I'm so glad she is doing better).

So I feel like things have been a blur. But you know, no matter how blurry things get, there is nothing like holding a smiling and cooing 2 month old and having a conversation about the joys of Monster Trucks with a two year old to really sharpen your vision. Benjamin and Daniel. What better reasons for not letting any job steal my joy.

Have a great day everybody! -Monica

P.S. Big kudos to Jenni and Nelson for inviting Danny to go to a big Monster Truck event this weekend in Baltimore! Nelson and Jenni's brother took the two boys and legend now has it that it was the event of a lifetime for both Oscar and Danny. Of course they are both only two... ;-)

The definition of irony

When you are online researching the best kind of external hard drive to buy so you never experience a catastrophic loss of everything on your computer, when a malicious virus attacks.

Pop up warnings saying "click here to run your system security" (yeah right) to windows opening up to sites like www.p*rn.come and www.vi@gra.com. How fun.

Internet Explorer was completely shut down but fortunately we could still get into Mozilla Firefox to get some free repair scans (after consulting our computer guru friend--thanks Aleck.)

We did have some infected areas that were dealt with, but we survived relatively unscathed. This time.

We bought and saved to that external hardrive the very next day. You know, I could care less about most of the stuff on our computer. But the babys' pictures. I couldn't bear to lose them! Could you? -M

What am I up to today?

Um...that would be watching Danny's hair grow.

You see, I may have gone just a tad too short on my first attempt at cutting it with our new Kids Shaver. Actually my first attempt at cutting it earlier in the day was not too short, but noooooo I was not satisfied. So about a half hour later I thought I'd give it another shot and really go for it!

On the bright side he is really enjoying how it feels to rub his little head and cracks up when he looks in the mirror. On the not so bright side, I don't feel so good.

His hair grows very fast however. In fact, let me go back and check it again.

No, still the same.

No pictures of him will be posted for an appropriate amount of time. But rest assured he's still beautiful. Just, um, shorn. -Monica

P.S. Su of course came to the rescue and tried her best to do damage control. Thanks honey. I've learned my lesson!

Congratulations XBox!

I've been a long time follower of a blogger who spent more than two years TTC (trying to conceive). XBox, as we call him (cuz he called his blog XBox4NappyRash) and his wife are an Irish couple living in the Netherlands and it's been great fun to follow their journey. Great writing, great wit and great drama. This morning we were thrilled to see that their beloved daughter had arrived! Many congratulations XBox and ET. Yeah!!!!! -Monica and Susanne

Happy two months Benjamin!

It's hard to believe that two whole months have gone by since we were blessed by the arrival of our number two son little Benjamin . Click on this link to see some fun pics from his second month.

We took the boys to our friends' little boy's birthday party on Saturday and they had a blast. Happy First Birthday Grisha! Have a great day everybody! -Monica

Thought for the day

I remember when I was 18 years old being horrified at the thought that in only 12 short years, I'd be 30. Can you imagine? Thirty years old! At the time, 30 years of age seemed pretty much equivalent to death. But now it doesn't seem so old at all. Funny how that works.

Why you may ask would I reflect back on that memory? Well you see, last week, in the mail, I got something from AARP. Yes, the organization formerly known as the American Association of Retired People. When you turn 50 they mail you your AARP card and even though you get all kinds of discounts on stuff, let's face it--you're officially old. It's a very unsettling rite of passage from what I can tell.

Well, the good news is that I'm not 50 yet. I have until September to suffer that indignity. But as I was fading to sleep the other night it suddenly dawned on me that when you are 50 you are only 20 years away from being 30.

And 70.

Maybe someday I'll write "But now it doesn't seem so old at all".

Not likely. -M

Happy Valentine's Day Susanne

 

Cheesy? Yes. Cheap? Yup. 

Fortunately those are the qualities you love most in me! Happy Valentine's Day sweetheart! -Monica

It's a bear! It's a plane! No, it's just Danny having fun!

Grateful

The two blizzards that just poured tons of snow on DC were memorable for a lot of reasons, but for me, I think I'll always reflect back on this time with gratitude. Let me count the ways...

• Wonderful neighbors--visits and team shoveling made it almost fun
• Stores that were busy but well stocked for the most part (and people who acted civilly. Yeah!)
• Power and phones that did not go out
• A gas fireplace in the basement that could be used for heat if we lost our regular heat
• Cable TV that stayed on (not a necessity, but it sure made it more fun)
• Batteries for our radio (we actually had the right size and enough--you know, just in case)
• Four straight days off from work--definitely a world record for snow days for me
• Two of the most gorgeous children in the world to hang out with
• That all of us stayed healthy--hard to imagine what we would have done at some points during all this with pharmacies and doctor's offices being closed and hospitals inaccessible
• And last but not least, Susanne. There is no one I'd rather weather any storm with. 

That's all for now. Time to make pancakes with Danny. You can only promise something like that so many times before you just have to put your money where your mouth is ;-) Have a great day everybody. -M

Update from the snow zone

Well here we are in (what?) day five of the blizzard hostage crisis. Of course part of the fun of being snowed in includes making cookies right? I think Danny has been paying a bit too much attention to those cooking shows Su likes to watch. As you can see, he is a bit "know it ally" in the kitchen like those TV hosts ;-)  On the bright side, the oatmeal cookies did turn out splendidly so we've got lots of sugar to sustain us as we continue to watch the snow fall and blow.

As you may recall, I posted a pic taken Sunday that showed about 2 feet of snow on our back deck. I then totally shoveled the deck and table CLEAR yesterday before today's snowfall, and here is what it looks like now at about 6 pm on Wednesday night . I kid you not.  Another 18" or so we think.

We are doing fine otherwise. Our cable started going out about a half hour ago but now seems fine. We are really hoping our electricity, phones, cable and internet keep working. But wouldn't be surprised if something breaks. It's supposed to snow til later tonight. Onward and upward! -M

P.S. Danny's new favorite game? To announce "I am Monster Truck, Baby is Car!" This right before he tries to crawl over the little guy. Fortunately we are very good at intercepting him!

Yay! Snow!

Our back deck

The National Weather Service is predicting between 10-20 inches of snow tomorrow here in DC. On top of this. Sigh...

Thanks Mr. Plow

Yay.  The plow finally came ... but I guess we're not going anywhere anytime soon.  Our car and our big new pile of snow:

Still Snowed In

Yesterday afternoon our friends Tom and Kristina trekked through our neighborhood to come for a visit.  Here they are:

Kristina took a couple of great photos including this one of our street (approx. 24 hours after the snow had stopped falling) :

 

As you can see, although many of us have started digging out our cars, we're not driving anywhere anytime soon. 

She also got this pic of the four of us.  It is one of the first good ones we've managed to get.  Thanks Kristina!

Live from the Blizzard of 2010 -- 21" and counting....

My number one reason for loving telework

 

The amazing view! (Hi Benjamin!) -Mommy

Bring it on!

Well, they are predicting that in DC we will have the "storm of the century" over the next 24 hours. Danny is excited to make an even bigger snowman than he made here during our December storm (the week Ben was born.) Of course even if he makes a bigger snowman, I'm not sure he could give a bigger hug. ;-)

Have a great weekend everyone! -Monica

Not enough for a snow day, but it sure is pretty

View from out our front window this morning. Yes, that is a sandbox. 

Top ten reasons I'm happy today

10. An unexpected snow storm is falling over Washington, DC that may just continue all night. I still love a good "snow day".

9. Work is going pretty well. That always makes me happy.

8. Baby Benjamin is doing great! He's only been with us six weeks and it's as if he's always been here. How wonderful!

7. Su on maternity leave means wonderful dinners every night. Fortunately she loves to cook and cooks well, so having time to really plan and prepare dinner makes all of us happy.

6. Danny is a CONSTANT source of delight and laughs. Just the things he says and does. We may have to start calling him Larious. Cuz he's so hilarious.

5. Valentine's Day is coming up I am bound and determined to come up with a really romantic idea to celebrate it. It's challenging with two little ones, but it can be done.

4. We just came home from a little gathering with neighbors that was a hodge podge of giggling children and laughing adults. We have fabulous neighbors and I am beyond grateful that we live where we do.

3. Danny has been going to bed like a dream of late (knock on every piece of wood in the world). But as I type this he's peacefully sleeping in his "big boy bed" in the next room and it just feels awesome to know that he is so comfortable and happy there.

2. Now that Ben is here, so much seems "back to normal". Pregnancy has its share of challenges, fears and emotions (for both of us), so now that we can just be us again, is wonderful.  I feel like Susanne and I are "home" again in some way I can't explain. It's great.

1. Last but not least, after figuring out that my mom had a pretty nasty bacterial infection that she's now been treated she is finally on the mend after breaking her hip two weeks ago. Falling and getting badly hurt is just no fun period, but it turns out that mom was under much more stress from this infection than anyone knew. It is the most wonderful sound in the world to hear your mom, who you were afraid might never be well again, sound like her old self.

Truly blessed. Yup. Keep snowing heavens! Keep snowing! -Monica

Glad you asked

It is a really fascinating experience to share that we have just had a baby, because for many people, this news is wonderful, yet a bit confusing. I mean look at us. We are two women. How did we do this?

Our close friends and family of course know exactly what process we went through to have our sons, but others who are not so close, often ask the best questions. Not malicious questions, just curious.

For example, “who’s the father?” Once we explain that the boys have no father but two mothers, often we see the "blank look" so sometimes we share a bit more about how we used donor to conceive our children. Oh no. More wheels figuratively spinning around in people’s head trying to figure out what that really means. And I just know that there are those who end up thinking “well they must have just called up one of those cryobanks and said “hey, send us whatever you got there—any donor will do!” Well that or even more outlandish ideas. How can I say this? Um NO!

I can’t imagine what else goes on in their confused little heads so sometimes a little more information is in order.

Here is an excerpt from an e-mail I sent to a friend last year who really truly wanted to understand how our family came to be. He encouraged me to share this with others as he found it fascinating, so I’ve decided that now is as good a time as any to share it. Enjoy!
_____________________________________________________

“…Anyway, your questions about our donor are no problem at all. Someday I'll probably even do a post about it because I think it's interesting to others as well. When Su and I first talked about having children, we both were very much leaning towards adopting a child. We'd both worked in Latin America and knew others who'd adopted kids from Guatemala so that seemed sort of logical to us. We signed up for a class at a clinic here in DC called Whitman Walker. The class was called “Maybe Baby” and is for gay people who are trying to learn all about the many options to have a family.

It was one night a week for about 8 weeks and we learned about adoption, alternative insemination, known donor, unknown donors, legal stuff etc... It was fascinating and as a wonderful aside we made some great friends who we are still close to.

By the time we finished the course we both ended up agreeing that there was no reason we couldn't try to have a baby using a donor. Susanne had always figured she'd have children one day—I never did have the “biological clock” thing and also since I’m a lot older than Susanne, she was the logical one to carry any baby we’d try to have. So, we arranged for some medical screening of hormone levels etc... and she was deemed super healthy by the reproductive endrocronologist we went to.

So...then the big decision became whether we would ask someone we knew to donate semen or select an anonymous donor who we'd never know or meet. We both have some awesome male friends who we could have asked, but after much introspection, we feared that any known donor we could choose would, of course, feel connected to our baby. And that was something that was not okay with either of us. Any child she gave birth to would be our baby-no one elses. So we started exploring the various cryobanks around the US.

On those sites you basically can search for donors who fit whatever profile you want. Hair color, ethnicity etc. Then for free you can read a short profile of the person and read a short paragraph they wrote in response to a question like "why did you decide to become a donor." You get to see a lot of details about their age, eye color, blood type etc... on this short profile. It was very interesting how easy it was to kick potential donors out of the mix because they couldn't write well (not that I'm so great a writer but that's not the point.)

Anyway, we decided to select someone with qualities similar to me so our baby would sort of look like both of our sides of the family. We narrowed it down to two and then picked the one that we both agreed seemed "right". We only had a number to identify our donor by.

Then we paid about $15.00 for a long profile with not only his full medical history and school history including GPA and other standardized test scores (like GMAT.) It included his and his entire immediate family's medical history which was great and it turned out they were a very healthy bunch! We then had the option to buy a picture of our donor as a toddler. We didn't do that right away, but later did. He's adorable, and that mop of hair you see on Danny's head? It's the exact same hair except for the color. (You can’t get a picture of an anonymous donor as an adult. This prevents walking down the street and seeing some guy and going “Dude!”)

We also purchased an audio profile of our donor being interviewed. He sounds like a really nice happy person and our plan is to share with Danny everything we have on the donor.

It’s termed “anonymous” because the donor does not want to be found later. One of the best questions we get asked is “what if you kid grows up and dates someone who it turns out is a progeny of that donor?” (They don’t ask it quite like that, but that is what they mean.) Well, the odds of that seem pretty darn small, but I tell them that we purposely chose to use a cryobank from a different state to reduce that possibility. I’m guessing statistically that the odds of that “dating scenario” happening would actually be much higher in an insular small town than in our situation, but who knows? As a friend once told me “mama’s baby, daddy’s maybe. ;-)

We definitely know that we want our children (if we are blessed with another child) to be a full sibling to Danny so when Su was pregnant with Danny we purchased extra vials of "our donor" and put them on ice so to speak (in a facility designed for such a thing.)

There are several way to conceive. “In vitro” is what everyone thinks of which is when the egg and sperm get together in a dish and are then implanted in the woman’s body. This is a method most often used when there are severe fertility problems. We didn’t have a fertility problem. We had a lack of sperm problem until working with the cryobank. So with a doctor’s assistance, the semen we chose was inserted into Su’s uterus at the exact right time during her cycle. It took lots of timing and tracking, and it did not work every time we tried. But when it did work, wahoo!
____________________________________________________________

I wrote all of this before Benjamin was even conceived. Wow! Now we have TWO gorgeous sons!

It's kind of funny that we sort of say we "adopted some sperm" to have Danny and Benji.We know that they have half siblings somewhere out there but are not interested in trying to meet other families on what are called voluntary sibling registries. Perhaps the boys will want to do that when they get older. Totally their call.

Alrighty then. Just felt in the mood to share. –Monica

P.S. I am very grateful to our donor for becoming a donor. Yes, they are paid to do so, but go through very rigorous testing and it can’t be that fun. I just can't imagine my life without my two amazing sons, so again, grateful is the word when I think of most when I think about this.

Our house--early this morning

Danny picks up the remote while watching Sesame Street.

Mama: "Are you going to change the channel?"

D: "Yes, I news."

M: "You're going to watch the news?"

D: "Yes, I love news."

Hah!

Caption This:

Wake me up when the photo shoot is over okay mom?

Our Ben doing what he does best. Relaxing. Ahhhhhh.....

One day Danny will look at this in disbelief

Yes it's true number one son. You fit perfectly on our first step. You are precious. -Mommy

On the home front

Well, I'm back from visiting my mom in MN. It's been a week today since she fell. She ended up with a partial hip replacement (which I think means the whole left side) and as of Saturday moved to a transitional care facility to do physical therapy so she can move around and remain independent. Unfortuately though she has continued to be plauged by nausea, even now after she is off the stronger painkillers. Until she can stay nourished she can't really begin working hard on her PT and, or course she feels very tired and weak. I spent as much time with her in the hospital and the transitional care place as I could, but of course now I am home, thousands of miles away.

It is a great help that my siblings are there--particularly my sister who is a public health nurse who works a lot with families with relatives needing care like mom does. She is a great advocate. I can call and talk to mom, but she tires really quickly and I don't want to bother her. As you can tell, I find it all frustrating and worrisome.

She asked a lot about Danny and Benji when I was with her which was nice. Nothing like little kids to lighten things up right.

For example, the next story I'll tell her will be about dinner last night.

Danny likes to say "not" instead of "don't want". (For instance he'll say "I not get dressed")

So last night as he and Su were both drinking milk with dinner, we moms thought we'd be clever and model the right way to say this.

Monica to Susanne -  "Honey, would you like more milk?"

Susanne -  "No, I don't want more milk"

Monica to Danny - "Sweetie, would you like milk?"

Danny to both moms - "I have milk" (followed by puzzled face then a big grin)

I'm sure you all could hear us both laughing from wherever in the world you read this blog. -Monica

Why it's fun to head home at the end of the day...

Post surgery

Well I'm relieved to report that according to my mom's surgeon, the surgery went "perfectly". I actually just got a call from one of my sisters and she was able to put mom on the line. It was scary to hear her sound so tired, but she says she feels fine, actually can't feel anything. This actually makes sense since she is still under sedation.

Of course all she wanted to do was ask about Danny and Benji and I promised I'd bring some new photos for her when I fly in to see her day after tomorrow.

Whew. I feel very relieved. She's not out of the woods yet, but she just cleared a very big tree. -Monica

Sleep well mom

Today I got the call from one of my sisters that on some level I've always dreaded. I knew right away that something was wrong, so even though she politely asked if it was a good time to talk, I immediately asked her what was wrong.

Mom had taken a fall and unfortunately broke her hip. She'd just finished a "joints in motion" swimming class (good for you mom!) but on her way out to her car in the icy parking lot she fell. She's still pretty surprised that she couldn't just get up after she fell. She remembers feeling a bit dizzy and wondered whether her blood sugars were low and reached out to rest a second on a car. Then she was on the ground. That's never a good thing, and particularly not when you are 78 years old.

Thankfully there were people outside who saw it happen and immediately came to help. This all happened at around 1 pm CST (she is in the Twin Cities). The plan as we understood it was for her to have surgery this evening, but it's been delayed because the on call surgeon got pulled into some other surgery.

So we wait til the morning. My brothers and sisters were with her most of the evening and are heading home now. She is getting continuous pain medication which gives me great comfort. Even better, it gives her great comfort.

So now we wait. I've already booked a flight to get home at the end of the week.

Sleep well tonight mom. Just sleep well. We love you. -all of us

Whoopsie!

Danny got a nice thank you card in the mail for a donation he/we made to Children's Hospital this year during Advent. But as you can see, his thank you card got into a scuffle with a mail sorting machine somewhere along the way.

Nice of the USPS to say they were sorry when it came delivered in the special plastic pouch, but ouch! Thank goodness it wasn't something of more value, like a check or something. But that being said this is probably the worst I've seen after receiving close to a million pieces of mail in my life. Not a bad percentage.

Oh no! Danny's only gotten something like 20 things in the mail in his life. That percentage just jumped mightily! :-)

Embiggen to read the "mea culpa". -M

A whole month of Benjamin!

Caption this.

My vote goes for Ben thinking "Matching PJs. Oh horrors! They are making us wear matching PJs!"

You can actually have fun looking at about 20 or so pics of Benjamin's first month by clicking on "Benji's first month" slide show. He's growing like a weed--we think he's nearing the 10 pound mark (can you say "sleep through the night soon?)

Our Benjamin. He's a bit of a character so he fits in very nicely around here ;-)

Happy first month birthday baby. We love you! -Mommy and Mama

P.S. They are only in matching PJs cuz we got these cute outfits from a dear friends. We don't anticipate too much "matchy matchy" but we'll see ;-)

Who me? Worry?

Yesterday two year old Danny stealthily crept up on his tiny brother, toy screwdriver in hand. Fortunately I was not in the room or I would have had a heart attack. Susanne who was in the room, explained to me later how Danny gently laid the tool into the sleeping baby's hand.

This is a good sign right? -Monica

He's electric!

Every year Danny's grandparents (and great grandfather) get a really cute homemade calendar featuring photos taken the previous year. So now that it's January, 2010, they get to enjoy a look back at Danny in January, 2009. Susanne made some very nice "collage" type images for our annual project, and I've decided it would be fun to post them periodically here too.

Come January 2011, you can expect to see little Benjamin too that's for sure. My mom thought the photo of Danny's hair like this was hysterical. "How'd you do it?" she asked. As I recall we didn't have to do anything. Static electricity just loves the boy ;-) -Monica

If you're thinking about helping with Haiti relief, do it now

Yesterday's earthquake in Haiti couldn't have happened in a worse place. Haiti is one of the poorest countries in the world, and this quake hit only a few miles from Port-au-Prince--the country's capital.
In 1998, after Hurricane Mitch hit, I went to Nicaragua to help with disaster relief. It's heartbreaking to see the results of such devastation, but I learned something while I was there. That is, that everybody wants to help, but they don't know how. Boat loads of clothes and goods were shipped there, many of which were diverted from those who needed them most due to some pretty blatant corruption. And frankly, a lot of goods that people donated were not even needed or helpful.

If you want to help I recommend you donate money. Money that can be intelligently used to purchase goods and services there that will not only help people in need, but will help get the local economy back on track as quickly as possible. Here is a list posted in the NY Times today of organizations that will take donations that will be used immediately in Haiti. We just donated to the Red Cross. If you're thinking of helping please just do it right this second. Agencies can only plan based on what they have available to them. That's where we can all help by making a donation now.

Please keep the people of Haiti in your prayers. I can't imagine the pain, terror and anguish that tens of thousands of people are suffering this very moment. May God grant them peace. And help now. -Monica