If we had a boy and named him Lucas then...

...I could say in a deep and breathy voice,

"Luke, I am your mother. Darth Mader."

(I must admit I find this somewhat appealing ;-) -Monica

Oh, the name drama (continues)

Happy Monday everybody. We just wanted to thank everyone so much for the wonderful name suggestions for a boy you’ve been throwing our way. I can’t say that we’ve said “eureka” to anything, but we are definitely thinking about some names that hadn’t crossed our minds yet.

I think it also has helped us realized that we have more "requirements" than we thought. For example, we like all the variations of Daniel. Danny, Dan…you get it. For some other names we might like the longer name but not be big fans of the typical nicknames. Like Edward comes to mind. I like Edward, but not such a big fan of Eddy or Ed.

And also the German/Spanish spin. The names George and William both sound really great in Spanish (Jorge and Georg) and German (Guillermo and Wilhelm or Wilfredo) but the names in English don’t really appeal to us.
Oh, and I thought Dashiell sounded really cool until we thought of two boys named Dan and Dash. It was just a little too…too…I don’t know? Like Dine and Dash? Like a Reindeer convention? Nope. We can’t do it.

So the games continue! By the way, Stimey mentioned in a comment an awesome Baby Names site that another favorite blogger of ours runs called Swistle Baby Names. Yes, we love it, and if we get closer to the date without a name we’ll probably write to her for help. But all the tools and ideas she has are very cool.

Anyway, I also wanted to report that Danny seems to be really getting into this “baby thing”. For example, today his nana (Su’s mom) will be coming for a short visit. So we were asking him, “Danny, guess who’s coming today who you love just as much as you love mommy and mama?” His guess? “Baby?” It was SO cute. But then when we reminded him that it was nana, he whooped and cheered. Very cute too.

Last week at his haircut, Su was chatting with a woman with an infant and Danny informed the lady that he had a baby too. He proceeded to try and lift up Su’s shirt for a little show and tell which was pretty funny. But clearly he’s making the connection. Hasta la vista babies! -Monica

Mamas and babies

 

 

Letters

Seriously. Where have all the mailboxes gone? Yesterday I walked for several blocks downtown, certain that there had to be one of my little blue friends somewhere. But no.

I think there are several reasons why they are disappearing. First of all after Sept. 11th, the mailboxes near the area where I work a few blocks from the White House were removed for security purposes. Same reason trash cans and newspaper machines began disappearing.

Then of course, many people started using snail mail less and less as bills got paid online and e-mail greetings and social networking sites began to replace actual cards for many (If you care enough to send the very least, send an e-card right? ;-)

So the postal service hasn't needed as many drop boxes as before. We still have 2 mailboxes which I pass on my way downtown so I'd never really realized the dearth of boxes near work til yesterday.

I wonder what the fate of the postal service will be? It's an interesting business model that for less than a buck I can send a letter all the way to Hawaii or just down the block. Maybe this model will not stand the test of time? I'm sure this is serious cause for debate.

On a related postal note, I read that the postal service decided to get rid of all the clocks in post offices. It served two purposes. They saved tons of money on batteries, and people in line were apparently a little calmer because they couldn't see the time ticking away as they waited their turn on line. Hmmmm??? Maybe that's a whole other issue.

Still. Nothing beats the sight of a handwritten card in your mailbox right? For this reason alone I hope we always have the mail -Monica

And the award for the funniest e-mail of the MANY I've gotten goes to...

This one was entitled "What Happens if Your Dad is a Graphic Designer". Come on! You've got to admit you chortled right? -Monica

P.S. No one seems to know the name of the dad who is responsible for this. But dude, great job!

 

Names, names, everywhere

Oh, if only it were true that we had our baby names picked out. Sure we have a great girls name in mind that we both love, but a boys name? Even though I have a serious number one pick for a boy, the vote is not unanimous (yet).

And it has to be a vote of 2-0 you see.

Here are our requirements. Potential names have to sound good in both German and Spanish (Su's family is German and Su and I both speak Spanish) and also, it has to not be an awful name.

I have found that there are many awful names out there.

And it doesn't help that what were once perfectly acceptable names are forever tarnished now (think Elmo and Bart and Barney). Well, actually all of those names are a bit awful too. See what I mean?

We really liked Daniel, and it fit all of our criteria for our first child, but we don't want to go all "George Formany" on a second boy, so we can't name him Daniel too.

Woe is me. Susanne is, as is typical, very serene about it all. I on the other hand? Not so serene. I see names everywhere. I don't mean to, but I scour the obituaries. The OBITUARIES people! And when movies end and they scroll through a hundred names I say them all to see if one will ring true. Nothing. Newspaper articles, books, blogs, baby name site etc...any and everything can be a desperate possible source of inspiration for me, but so far nothing is.

I'm still working on moving the voting on my number one choice over to unanimous. I've even enlisted Danny's help. I have him saying "baby "insert my favorite name here". Okay, he actually says my favorite name after the word "baby."

But I digress. Suggestions for a good name are welcome. And just so you know, it has to go with one of those Irishy last names such as O'Something, or Fitzsomething or McSomething. Have at it friends! -M

100 Days!

Yes, that’s right. In approximately 100 days Hurricane “What’s His or Her Name” will rock our worlds into a new orbit.

In approximately 100 days we will not sleep for more than 2 or 3 hours at a time for who knows how long into the future.

In approximately 100 days I will get to take a few weeks off of work, and Su will get to take a few months off.

In approximately 100 days we will realize that it’s really not time “off”.

In approximately 100 days I will use the majority of my time away from work dealing with Danny who will have realized that the rules suddenly changed without his permission. He will let us know what he thinks of things quite loudly.

In approximately 100 days Danny will be the proudest and most loving big brother ever (well, most of the time we hope.)

In approximately 100 days Christmas will be upon us and I have absolutely no doubt that it will be THE BEST CHRISTMAS EVER!

-Monica

P.S. Happy Birthday Al, and Happy Anniversary mom. I’m sure dad’s smiling down from heaven at you today—just like every day.

Music, sports? Hmmm? Aw heck. Why not both!

Peas!

Yesterday at church we reached the part of the Lutheran service where we offer each other the sign of peace and Danny completely charmed us by, for the first time ever, shaking hands with someone and saying in the sweetest voice "Peas"! The woman he reached out to was new to our church and standing all alone in front of us. It was just perfect.

Sure he'd been watching us do this every Sunday since he was a little baby, but it was so unexpected. Su and I both explained to the woman that this was the first time he'd ever offered the sign of peace to anyone and she was so touched. I swear she smiled the rest of the service.

When I was a teacher years ago at a Catholic School I remember having a discussion with some 9th graders about their favorite part of the Mass. Mostly the conversation was met with grimaces and groans along the lines of "you're kidding right?" as the kids imagined late Sunday mornings sleeping in instead of being at church.

But one quiet girl told us that her favorite part of the Mass was shaking hands for the sign of peace. When prompted to tell us more about why, I remember her saying "well, for some people it's the only time any one touches them at all."

I was so moved by her comment. I also had gotten to know her mother, and to me it was clear as day that Laura's sincere view of the gift of offering peace came from the strong faith that she absorbed from her mom and family.

I only hope that Su and I as parents can be that kind of light to our son and his little brother or sister to come.

Danny loved all the praise he got for offering his simple gesture of peace. I think he's going to look forward to this part of service from now on. I know his new friend who sits in front of us will too.

Happy Day everybody. -Monica

We will remember

About a block away from the area where the Twin Towers collapsed on September 11, 2001, a giant sycamore tree was uprooted and lay exposed--witness to, and testament to, the terrible power of the blasts. The fallen tree actually shielded nearby St. Paul's Chapel from the falling debris that awful day.

Artist Steven Tobin later cast the roots in bronze to make a sculpture known as the Trinity Root. When Danny and I visited NY in early September we discovered this three-ton memorial. I'd never heard of it before but it's really quite amazing. And haunting. -Monica

That's a kicker!

So at 25 weeks now, Susanne's uterus is roughly the size of a soccer ball according to Dr. Google.

And just last night when I leaned in to see if I could feel the baby moving, I definitely took a shot to the face.

Just thinking about it makes me smile ;-)

-Monica

A Curiosity

So this week I celebrated the 24th anniversary of my 25th birthday. Pretty cool huh? For those of you not accustomed to such wacky math, this means I turned 49. But a cool 49, not an ancient 49. Or so I like to think.

Anyway, I got to thinking about how long it has taken me to figure out some things in life. Oh I'm not talking about serious things like love, and faith and all that. I'm talking about Curious George.

When I was a kid I thought he was hilarious. "Oh George"! What a cutie. But now that I read the same stories to my son I find myself realizing that there is a recurring theme. George messes something up, but then somehow whatever he did turns out to be this great thing, and then everybody congratulates and thanks him.

Is this how I want Danny to see the world? Worse yet, is this how I move through the world? Oh geez. I think it may be. Scary.

Aw what the heck. I still think he's hilarious and even more importantly, Danny does too! Have a great day everybody. -Monica

Such a literal little guy

So Danny was intently trying to turn on our little flashlight yesterday, getting more and more peeved that it wasn't cooperating.

"Bubby, you have to use your thumb" I explained patiently.

Removing one hand from the flashlight he proceeded to pop his thumb into his mouth and smiled at me. So literal our little Daniel.

I love this boy! -M

The boy of summer

I think he's got real potential don't you? Well, we finally got a new modum so we can get online again from home which is great. I took our little guy to New York for the week to visit friends and family and he had a great time.

Danny slept really well. During the night that is. Apparently naps are not allowed on vacation. Yawn. More later. -Monica

Hurry! Post something!

So we have our bundled cable, phone and internet though RC* and for the last week we've had internet, then not had internet, then had internet.

The problem started on August 22nd. Today is August 28th. After scheduling an appointment with the threat of a charge of $49.99 if we had the technician come if the problem were already solved, we cancelled our scheduled appt. for today because we actually had internet access last night. Silly us. We thought that they'd somehow solved our problem from their end. Oh how wrong we were.

Today Su was home with Danny and got a free moment to log on. Nothing.

Crap!

She called the cable company and of course they were so apologetic blah, blah, blah...

Long story short, their customer service did not exceed our expectations. Until they replace the modem (I think in the year 2019 or so?) we can expect intermittent access. Okay. I'm exaggerating. But I'm typing as fast as I can because we won't see them until September 5th and only our higher power knows when "the internets" will smile upon us.

How does that song go? "I fight technology, technology always wins."

Have a great weekend everybody. Please forgive us if we don't get back to you right away in the next week or two. Argh!!!!! -Monica

P.S. We are weighing our options.

It’s true – I don’t help

Oh don’t get me wrong. I’m like to think a very helpful person for the most part, but in one particular area I am no help whatsoever.

You see I’m a hummer. “Hmm, hmm, hmm.” And worse yet, songs get stuck on repeat and even though I don’t even notice, it is apparently noticeable to basically everyone else.

I can remember years ago one of my sisters asking me “who sings that?” and when I happily replied, “Bette Middler”, her response was, “well why don’t we just let her sing it then okay?” Okay, okay. I get it.

But you see, my most recent problem with the humming is interconnected to Danny’s recent recuperation. Five days home with a little guy whose “get up and go, just got up and went” made it perfect for a "little" TV viewing.

With lots of free shows on our Video on Demand he settled in quite nicely for some mini marathons of Bob the Builder, Roary the Racecar, Micky Mouse Club House and his absolute favorite—Fireman Sam. Oh who am I kidding. It was not a mini marathon. It was a 26 miler.

The problem is that all of these shows unfortunately have catchy little tunes and I find myself humming them all the time.

Which is bad.

Because now that he’s better, he can’t watch TV all the time.

“BOB, BOB” he cries (which means TV in general), followed by “MOTE, MOTE” (you guessed it—remote).

Once we calm him down and distract him with a book or toys all is well until “something” makes him suddenly cry “BOB, BOB!”

I stop humming mid hum. “What?” Uh oh.

Hmmmm…what to do, what to do…hmmmm….??? Birds do it. Bees do it. Why oh why can't I?

Crackaroni and Cheese please!

Seriously. There must be something in this product that causes children to inhale it.

Danny's a pretty good eater for the most part, but when we went out to lunch yesterday to a place that served Kr*ft Macaroni and Cheese, he almost ingested my arm when it got too close. Geez.

It was good to see him with an appetite. The reason we had lunch out in the middle of what is usually a work day, is that we were back to his pediatrician's office for the second time in 4 days.

Looks like a fever that led to a rash that the doctor thought last week was probably a virus, is most likely a bacteria, and he's got many very nasty scabs to show for it. Our poor boy is now on a broad spectrum antibiotic until the culture comes back later today.

He's very brave. -Monica

Couch potatoes (or perhaps hot peppers?)

We found out Susanne was pregnant with Danny in October of 2006, and one of our favorite things to do at night was to snuggle up on the couch and watch mindless TV. We'd just lounge there chatting excitedly about our little baby inside her, all cuddly and happy during those cold winter and early spring months.

From my vantage point, I could feel the baby growing until it reached a point that there was not enough room for Su, the baby (aka the Dannymeister) AND me to sack out. Or let's just say it got harder and harder for Su to be comfortable in any position so I'd find another chair or whatever.

With this pregnancy beginning in April, I can report that the hot days of June, July and August DO NOT lend themselves to this kind of closeness. We try not to use the AC too much so for the most part cuddling is not in the mix. Oh don't get me wrong--I get my hugs and wonderful moment feeling the baby kicking, every day (even though apparently I am hotter than a furnace).

I will admit I'm looking forward to the fall though. Hmmm may have to acquire a bigger couch. Room enough for me, Su, our little baby inside, and big brother Daniel who always wants in on cuddling! ;-)

-Monica

No he didn't!

So what did your guitar have for breakfast this morning?

Mine had several pieces of whole wheat bagel.

Sigh.

Oh Baby

Well the baby (who really will not be named Bob in spite of Danny's fervent protestations) is doing great according to the results of Su's recent ultrasound. His or her heartbeat is steady at 150 (which leads me to think it's a boy but I've been wrong in life before. ;-)

We got to see organs and limbs and adorable profile (I'm not going to say exactly who the baby's profile looks like, but since I only have one other baby to compare it to, perhaps you can guess?)

We found out he or she is measuring a tiny bit big which may or may not mean that we'll have a big newborn. We were tempted this time to find out the baby's gender but when the moment of truth came, we decided to wait. After all, finding out that our first child was a boy was like "Christmas in May" as I've written about before. This will just be more like "Christmas at Christmastime!"

This weekend we (Susanne) planned out an entire basement reorganization and we are now officially "weekend warriors" (Danny too) until it is done. I told Susanne that this planning seemed an awful lot like nesting but I was assured it was not.

Alrighty then. Back to work I go! -Monica

A face only two mothers could love!

I'm Crumpy!

Oh dear. I liked the name Crumpet for the baby because it was a nice play on the words "Crown and Rump" which I thought was a pretty funny way to measure a developing baby.

But I just read this today on BabyCenter:

"For the first 20 weeks, when a baby's legs are curled up against his torso and hard to measure, measurements are taken from the top of his head to his bottom — the "crown to rump" measurement. After 20 weeks, he's measured from head to toe."

Aw rats. We hit 20 weeks last Friday. So now I have to find some new play on words for "head to toe"?

Well Su is having an ultrasound on Friday. Perhaps once I see the little tyke I'll be inspired to come up with new name. Until then, see you Friday Headytoey. -Mommy

Oat Cheese anyone?

This boy of ours cracks me up. The other day when I made him oatmeal for breakfast, I mixed in some yogurt and I don't remember what else. Something good for him no doubt.

He took one bite, looked at me with a twinkle in his eye and exclaimed "cheese!"

This was very good news indeed. Danny loves cheese. He proceeded to eat his "oat cheese" ravenously, and I patted myself on the back for being perhaps the most clever mom ever.

Until I tried it again the next day and he pushed it away, forcefully yelling "NO, NO!"

Dang! And I was going to patent my new "cheese" too. I even had a tagline..."Eat oat cheese, it's better than goat cheese!"

Sigh. Back to the drawing board. -Monica

Feeling, hot, hot, hot...

DC in August. It's no Paris in springtime. Just the dog days of summer. Ugh... (100 sticky and muggy degrees expected today.) -M

Night Night

At night time Danny likes to hear us read the same stories over and over. They are, in no particular order: Bob the Builder, Thomas the Train, Sesame Street Firehouse and his new favorite, Curious George.

We mix it up some, and then after about 10 or 15 minutes of reading we turn off the light and "rocky rocky" in the rocking chair. He has his blanket, a drink of water and then he starts to drift off (usually).

If I'm the one putting him to bed, this is the time that I like to recap his day for him, reminding him of all the fun things that happened and also tell him all of the exciting things to come tomorrow. (For example his Nana is coming today and he's very excited.)

The last thing I do before kissing him and laying him down is to tell him that his mama and I love him more than anything. "We're always gonna love you and we're always going to take care of you--I promise" is what I used to say.

Then about a month ago I had this vision of him at age 27, living in our basement yelling "Hey ma, get me a beer will ya? You promised!"

So our new night night mantra is "We're always going to love you and we are always going to be there for you".

Whew. I know I'm sleeping better at night now ;-)

Have a great weekend everybody! -M

Happy Day!

Today Susanne and I celebrate our fourth wedding anniversary, and what a wonderful four years it has been! I wanted to try and convey here the many reason why I love this beautiful woman, but I’m pretty certain that my words could never capture how I truly feel.

So instead, I thought I’d share something from that special day four years ago that reflects our shared interest in peace and justice. Not just for us—for everyone.

Su and I both love the positive intention of this poem by Judy Chicago, so we had different guests at our wedding stand and take turns reading the lines out loud. They all knew when to stand and say their line, but the others in the crowd were taken by surprise. It was very powerful and moving.

And Then

And then all that has divided us will merge

And then compassion will be wedded to power

And then softness will come to a world that is harsh and unkind

And then both men and women will be gentle

And then both women and men will be strong

And then no person will be subject to another's will

And then all will be rich and free and varied

And then the greed of some will give way to the needs of many

And then all will share equally in the Earth's abundance

And then all will care for the sick and the weak and the old

And then all will nourish the young

And then all will cherish life's creatures

And then all will live in harmony with one another and the Earth

And then everywhere will be called Eden once again.

Happy anniversary my love. I do indeed cherish the magic that is you. -Monica

Seriously...

Apparently Danny takes his camping (and his bubbles) very seriously. We had a wonderful time with our neighbors at Matthew's Arm in the Shenandoah this weekend, on Danny's first ever camping trip, and the best part was that he slept like a baby. By that I mean a good baby who didn't wake up once. He must love those cool evenings in the tent wrapped up in his sleep sack.

We broke out one of his birthday presents--this bubble gun--while there and he was delighted. Not too keen on guns as toys for the boy, but this seemed like fun. Although he looks serious in this pic, he spent most of his time laughing and chasing the bubbles!

We'll try and get one more camping trip in this season. Nothing like the great outdoors! Smores. Yummy! -Monica

A very good omen for a dentist

Our search for a pediatric dentist who participates in our health insurance plan has led to a very interesting discovery...

Seriously. How could Danny not love a dentist who has the same first name as his favorite Sesame Street character? We'll let you know more after his first visit next week. Ciao! -Monica

There's no crying in parenthood! (Oh wait...)

Tom Hanks made the line "there's no crying in baseball" famous in the movie a League of Their Own and I thought about it the other night while two year old Danny sat on our porch watching me with the most worried look you can imagine.

You see I was crying and he didn't like it one bit.

We'd been outside saying hi to neighbors when I took Danny's hand to take him home. We said our "bye byes" and walked up the sidewalk towards the house when I felt a horrible pain in my foot. I was barefoot and had stepped on something. At first I thought it was a nettle or a thorn but it hurt so much worse than just a pucture. I saw something hanging off my toe and as I jumped up and down screaming in pain Su got to me and let me know it was a yellow jacket and it was still stinging me. I managed to swat it off, but the pain was really localized although there was nothing that could be seen, it felt like with every heartbeat searing pain would surge at the site of the sting.

I'll make a long story short. Su and our neighbors got me ice and Benadryl and motrin and, clearly I lived. (It took about two days for the ache to go away, but the first several minutes after I was stung were intensly painful.)

I didn't want to worry Danny but it hurt so much I couldn't stop my tears. He'd crawled up onto a chair on our porch and curled up, sucking his thumb and watching me as intently as he'd ever watched anything. After a few minutes I held him and told him I had a boo boo and that everything was going to be okay. He seemed somewhat unconvinced and remained subdued that evening.

But as much as it hurt I am so glad that it was me and not him that got stung. The yellow jacket sting I could bear. Danny in that much pain? I'm not so sure. -M

Something smells delicious!

"What is that wonderful smell?" I called out to Susanne last night as I arrived home a bit late after some delays on the metro.

As I scooped up Danny and came into the kitchen I realized I was starving, and visions of the many wonderful meals we've shared over the years danced in my head.

My bubble was slightly burst when her reply was "well, I'm pre-heating the oven. That wonderful smell is our dirty oven heating up."

"Oh."

The quiche we had later was delicious by the way. But I think there is a new task on our never ending "to do" list.

-Monica

P.S. When a bubble is slightly burst it is still burst ;-)

Just wondering...

Is "insomnia" the same thing as "wakeupbeforethecrackofdawnfordaysonendia"?

Just wondering. -Monica

Danny's Final answer for favorite baby name is...

Of course "Bob" is Danny's final answer for many questions ;-)

-Monica

Quicken - It's not just for accounting anymore

Main Entry:
quick·en

Intransitive verb
Inflected Form(s): quick·ened; quick·en·ing

1: to come to life ; especially : to enter into a phase of active growth and development
2: to reach the stage of gestation at which fetal motion is felt
3: to shine more brightly
4: to become more rapid

So...Su is now feeling the baby moving, and we heard its heartbeat racing along at 140 bpm on Friday. I guess this means that the baby is quickening. (definition #2)

Wow! Everything is just quickening! (definition #3) Is that MY heart I feel quickening? (definition #5)

Go Crumpet, go Crumpet! - Love, Mommy

P.S. Baby love. There's just no accounting for it!

Gibberishish

Danny likes to tell stories. Huge, interesting and wild stories that have him gesticulating wildly and incorporating sounds of fire trucks and hoses spraying and helicopters. We usually follow along attentively, even though it’s mostly gibberish. He just laughs and laughs!

But his days of gibberish are starting to fade away. Slowly but surely more words are sticking. For example we were in a store the other day and saw a little baby swing. He pointed to it and yelled “Oh! Miles!” For those who don’t know, that’s Jenni’s 8 month old who Danny sees quite a lot of. It was very cute.

Then when I came home yesterday he was very interested in my “wet shoes.” Of course he makes “b” sounds for “w”s often, so he was calling them my “bet shoes”. And in all reality it sounded like he was going on an all about my “butt shoes, butt shoes.” Again, very cute.

Except when it’s not cute. Like the other day when someone made a noise related to digestion (not gonna say who, or from where this noise emanated) and Danny responded by yelling “gas!”

Okay, that actually was cute.

But not as cute as when you are carrying him and he takes your face in both of his hands, smiles so hard that his eyes crinkle almost shut as he gazes into yours, and leans in to give you a sweet kiss. There are no words for that ;-)

Have a great day everybody.

Who's your mommy!

Greetings fellow bloggers. Sorry for being gone for so long, but I just finished my service as a juror--a trial that went from July 6-July 22, so believe me, I'm ready to be done. Maybe some day I'll tell that story, but I actually have something else today that is very exciting to share! A law just went into effect on Saturday that will allow me to be our child's legal parent on the day he or she is born! With now two year old Danny, I had to wait until he was 6 months old to adopt him and although I'm grateful that I was able to adopt, (this is not allowed in all states) I'm even more grateful for this new law here in the District of Columbia.

We’d decided long ago that we wanted our kids to have my last name, but the way the law was before, since there was no “father” listed on Danny’s birth certificate he had to carry the last name of his birth mom. Since we took him overseas to visit relatives when he was just a few months old we had to get him a passport in that name. Which required him to get a social security card in that name. When his name was legally changed when the adoption was final, we had to redo everything. What a hassle! (Don’t even get me started on the problems we had getting his new birth certificate after in the eyes of the law he had two parents—both of us are on his reissued certificate now.)

Also, it made no sense to us that the DC government had to have a social worker visit us three times to do a home study. It wasn’t like he wasn’t going to live there with us even if through some fluke I was not allowed to adopt him right? I think those social services resources can be much better utilized helping families who really need help, and now they can!

Another thing. It cost thousands of dollars for the adoption (most of which we got back as a credit at tax time), but again, I’m Su’s partner. We made every decision together regarding how we would have a family. I’ve been Danny’s mom since before his cells began dividing, and I’m so glad this law is now making this reality for future. Our new baby who is due in December will have two parents on his or her birth certificate from Day One! And the last name that we choose. (Um, that’s mine.)

Anyway, I hope you enjoy what you read below as much as we did when it was in the Washington Post this morning! Have a wonderful day! -Monica

DC Extends Parental Rights for Gays

"Lesbians in the District no longer will need the written consent of their partners to adopt children born to their partners through artificial insemination, under a new law that took effect Saturday.
The name of a consenting spouse or unmarried partner will appear on the child's birth certificate as the legal parent, a status that previously had to be obtained by same-sex parents through a complicated adoption process.

The Domestic Partnership Judicial Determination Parentage Act of 2009 puts the city out front when it comes to children born of same-sex parents, according to the National Center for Lesbian Rights (NCLR), the Gay and Lesbian Activists Alliance of Washington (GLAA) and American University law professor Nancy Polikoff.

"With the enactment of this measure, the District has become the first jurisdiction in the country to enact a statute specifically providing children born through artificial insemination with two legal parents from the beginning even when those parents are a same-sex or different-sex unmarried couple. A similar law goes into effect January 1, 2010, in New Mexico," according to a news release the groups issued today.

"A mother should not have to adopt her own child," said Polikoff, who helped draft the legislation that was shepherded by D.C. Council member Phil Mendelson (D-At Large). "When a heterosexual married couple uses artificial insemination to have a child, the husband does not have to adopt the child born to his wife. He is the child's legal parent automatically. Now the child of a lesbian couple will have the same economic and emotional security accorded the children of heterosexual married couples who use artificial insemination."

Oh Happy Day! -M

Sigh...

Monday will mark day 14 of the "jury duty hostage crisis." Sigh.-Monica

And then the baby...

While at the Children's Museum in Richmond recently, we thought we'd teach Danny a thing or two about where babies come from. Hmmmm... do you think we may have confused him even more than he probably already is? :-)

Aw I'm just kidding. Everyone knows that babies come from storks. Right? -M

Note to self

Next time a summons to go to jury duty comes Monica, and you get one chance to reschedule it any time within 90 days, take a VERY CLOSE look at your calendar before picking a date.

Believe that you WILL be picked to be on a jury.

You see, I was not a believer. I'd been called to report for jury duty a few times in the past and was always sent home the first day. So when this summons came I was pretty certain that history would repeat itself.

Since Su and Danny and I were going to be out of town on the day I was told to report, I rescheduled. I could have picked a date in July or August or September. So I just picked the next Monday. Trial as it turns out can go on for days, even weeks.

Excuse me while I stop typing now. I've got to get back to the courthouse for Day 6 of my unexpected adventures in being a juror. This all being said, I am happy to do my civic duty. I just made it more inconvenient than it had to be. Have a great day everybody. -M

P.S. Did I mention that I'm running two fairly large events with lots of moving pieces in August? Why didn't I pick September!!!!

Two cute

My two cuties last month in Chicago's Millennium Park. This sculpture is called "The Bean".

Riddle time...

What's smiley and peppy and looking to play?
A boy at 2 a.m. who napped most of the day.

In his defense, he'd had a fever for a few days which made him pretty crabby. So when he napped for nearly 5 hours on Friday and woke up feeling better, we were really happy.

Friday night was a bit of a shock though when he awoke around 2:00 a.m. wanting to be rocked, then wanting to see mama, then not wanting to see mama, then wanting "yum, yum", then wanting to dump out all of his Thomas the Tank Engine tracks, than wanting to play choo choo, then wanting to watch "Bob" (yes the Builder). All in the middle of the night. All as awake as a boy can be.

Every effort I made to try and settle him down was met with "NO" and major squirming and running away from me. He has developed an excellent set of lungs when it comes to yelling "NO".

Su has a cold so she stayed in bed while I tried to figure out what to do. (Well that and she is gestating our second child so she definitely got a pass.) Anyway, I'd like to say that with my keenly honed parental skills I handled this situation with ease. But I'm not sure if begging really fits this category.

When all was said and done, he finally fell asleep in our bed about two hours later, somehow managing to stay perpendicular to us at all times. Amazing. And uncomfortable.

Last night was much better and we are going to now assume that this was a fluke brought on by his illness.

Cuz if this is the new "normal", this is the new "exhausted". -M

Sounds like "Furry Bootie"

Sorry for the lack of posting of late, but I'm in the middle of doing my civic duty this week--I was selected to be a juror for a trial here in DC, and although I can't talk about the case until it's over, I am finding the whole process fascinating. No idea how many days this will go on, but probably won't be posting much until it is. Toodles! -Monica

Happy Independence Day!

Danny in the Windy City

While I was at a conference in June for work, Su and Danny had a great time exploring Chicago. What a fun city! Especially since my niece and her husband and 9 month old live there and were wonderful hosts. We'll definitely be going back. Danny was mesmerized and so were we. -Monica

Getting to "glowy"

Since announcing the news that we are expecting our second child at Christmastime, I haven’t written much about it. Why? Well let’s see? Danny keeps us going 100 mph, we are both extremely busy at work and, maybe after going through the miscarriage last year we are both a bit nervous. I’ve heard this described at “one foot in, one foot out”. You want to be happy and celebrate and be all “glowy” but then a tiny part of your brain keeps telling you to watch out.

On the brighter side, Su is entering her 16th week and we’ll actually start to see more definitive proof soon that baby number two is really planning to join us. We do periodically look at books and other info regarding how the baby is developing as these weeks roll along and, just like when Su was pregnant with Danny, once in a while I’ll see something that really gets me excited. Like today I read that at 15 weeks even though a baby’s eyes are still fused shut they can react to light—if you shined a flashlight on Su’s belly the baby would most likely turn from the light. That seems pretty real right?

I know that little ear buds are already formed so I’m sure he or she is turning away quite often from Danny squawking and other fun sounds ;-) By the way, we’ve decided that while “en utero” to call this baby our Crumpet. It comes from the fact that babies are measured “Crown to Rump” at this stage which always cracks me up.

Don’t worry. I looked up Crumpet to make sure there wasn’t some awful other meaning (besides delicious pancake like treats) and in fact, in Britain it’s said that it’s a nickname for someone who is intelligent and good looking. Whew. The proverbial "smart cookie".

Yup. We are getting a little more excited each day. Today our Crumpet should be about 4 inches long. Here is a pic that shows the development of a baby at 15 weeks. Cool huh?

True story

So this morning at breakfast Danny was acting both cranky and devilish. At one point he was sitting at the table screaming at the top of his lungs for no reason whatsoever.

"AH!"

"AH!"

"AH!"

We tried ignoring him. but we do have a row house and thought it pretty unfair to the neighbors to keep ignoring, so we then tried cajoling and distracting him...you know, everything in the book.

Finally I looked at him and said (perhaps a bit crankily)

"Danny, are we going to have to start paying Jenni double what we pay her to put up with this kind of behavior????"

His face transformed into utter sadness and despair.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" he sobbed and sobbed until I scooped him up and held him tight.

So Jenni, sorry to let you know that Danny seems to not favor this suggestion.

Or maybe he thinks we should pay you TEN TIMES what we pay you now.

God love him.

Sigh. I shouldn't be so hard on our little lamb. He was awakened in the night by loud thunder which really shakes him up. Unfortunately I haven't yet figured out how to stop the thunder. No wonder he woke up on the wrong side of the crib today. Any suggestions on how to help with this fear gentle readers? -Monica

'Nuf Said

Could I feel more tired this morning?

A word of advice to those dedicated to designing good public restrooms.

Supersonic hand dryers like this Dys*n's machine sound pretty much like Beoing 747s taking off, so maybe you could consider installing them as far away from the baby changing stations as possible?

Just a thought. -Monica

P.S. For those of you not familiar with these amazing hand dryers, you'll know what I'm talking about the first time you encounter one. Effective? Absolutely. Loud? Unbelievably!

-M

So sad

Yesterday I worked from home, but decided I needed to run down to my office to get some important papers I wanted to hand deliver to someone at another agency. Once I was done, I got on the Metro and headed home but for some reason I was curious to see some construction that was going on behind our house so I stayed on the Red Line for one extra stop to get a better view. Once I got to Fort Totten I simply got off my outbound train and crossed the platform to catch the inbound train back home.

About an hour or so later I got a CNN alert on my blackberry that there had been a train crash in DC on the Metro. What I saw on TV horrified me. A terrible accident between Fort Totten and Takoma Station. 70+ injuries and at least 9 dead. A train struck an idling train at full speed and the striking train basically ended up on top of the last car of the struck train.

You know, I remember that I was in the first car of the train I was riding yesterday and was thinking about how cool it was that there was a window behind the driver so you could see the driver and the track ahead. I thought how Danny would love it and silently filed away that next time we rode the Metro we'd sit in the first car so he could see everything.

Please keep all of the victims in your thoughts and prayers. Just regular people doing regular stuff. Just like all of us every day. -Monica

P.S. Danny keeps saying "choo choo uh oh" whenever he sees the TV or radio. He's so right.

Baby Goggles

Thank you to all who sent us happy notes and comments regarding the news of Su's pregnancy. We are really excited and, just like last time, I propose at least 7 new baby names every day, and Su vetoes them. But the baby has to have some sort of name so I remain optimistic! Actually we do have a few that we both like. It's funny when you have a kid and realize later that you couldn't imagine him or her with any other name. I think Danny is just right for our number one son. It just fits!

Speaking of Danny, he had a great time this weekend visiting his Pop Pop in Richmond and going to two different birthday parties (happy day Amanda and Oscar!) Tomorrow his Nana will fly back from Europe so he's going to be a pretty happy camper.

I had a thought this weekend being around so many families with children. I was watching the parents watching their kids. Of course a huge part of this watchfulness is safety. Wouldn't want to lose them or let an accident happen right? But there is another part of this watchfulness. It's pure pride in that child. Their beauty, grace, intelligence, elegance, strength...whatever you see. Cuz when that kid is yours, you see it all.

I think it's like we all have "baby goggles". And unlike "beer goggles" we never wake up the next day wondering why we ever thought the object of our admiration was so cute.

Baby goggles. A permanent door prize of parenthood. I submit for your inspection Exhibit A. Have a great day everybody! -Monica

Most Wonderful Time of the Year…

Want to know a secret? Of course you do. Who doesn’t want to know a secret?

Ok. Here’s a hint.

What’s light and sweet and makes Su gain weight?

What’d you guess? Angel food cake? Gelato? Pop Rocks?

Well, technically although all are good answers (and are making me hungry) I have a better answer.

A LITTLE BROTHER OR SISTER FOR DANNY!

Yes, we’ve been holding out. We found out in mid April that Su was pregnant, but decided not to tell a soul until we saw the baby’s heartbeat on ultrasound at 6 weeks.

With a huge sigh of relief we immediately called our parents, and over the past few weeks have shared our happy news with a few friends.

Yesterday after visiting our midwife as we come to the end of the first trimester, and hearing the wonderful “thump, thump, thump” (160 bpm) of the baby’s heart, we decided to break our happy news here.

Su has been feeling pretty good—better then she remembers feeling with Danny. In fact it was getting to the point that we were both wondering if there was really a baby in there at all any more since she’s not showing and been feeling pretty goodl. So yesterday’s heartbeat was very exciting for the both of us.

Yes, this Christmas promises to be a great one. Due date Dec. 24th. Ho, ho, ho!!!

-Monica

Just call me Percy

Oh dear.

I never knew this before we had Danny, but apparently when I'm thinking deeply about something, or puzzled, I purse my lips.

I'd never noticed this before because I generally only look in a mirror to see if my hair is deranged or to see if my shirt is stained with toddler goo. I don't look long enough to see my mannerisms.

Recently though, Danny started pursing his lips. I thought it looked pretty silly so I sort of innocently asked Susanne where she thought he'd picked it up from.

“Oh.”

Puuuurrrrrsssseeeee. He's like a little mirror of me. Only way cuter! -Monica

Don't you ever miss the good old days?

Just to be clear. I'm NOT talking about being nostalgic for those good old days when Danny was a baby. I'm talking missing those good old days when I was a baby! How can it only be 2:00 now? Will my "to do" list ever end? -Monica

Found-one hollow leg

And this hollow leg is a perfect size for a two year old. Yes, Danny has been eating us out of house and home for going on two weeks now. I honesly pondered whether he'd eaten more in the past 14 days than he'd consumed in the past two years. Hmmm....I wonder if we'll see a growth spurt? If so, I figure he'll be about 5'6" tall when he gets home from Jenni's tonight ;-)

Sorry for the break in blogging. I had to go to Chicago for a week for work and Su and Danny joined me there. It was a lot of fun. But now I'm trying to get caught up on a zillion things. Ah life!

Have a great day everyone. I'll blog more when I get a chance tomorrow. Oh, and if you haven't been following the adventures of XBoxforNappy (see the bottom link on our sidebar) he and his wife just found out they are pregnant after more than two years of trying. He's a wonderful writer and will be a wonderful dad. Congrats Xbox. You know you really will need to trade in your Xbox for diapers now right? -Monica

File under the heading "huh?"

For a program I am involved in for work we decided to do a registration with the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office. So we did a lot of paperwork and then one day we got an official letter letting us know that it was now registered.

But here's the funny part. In order to maintain the registration for the full 10 years allowable, we have to file a declaration between the fifth and sixth anniversaries of the registration date...more mumbo jumbo...failure to file the required declaration by the end of the grace period will result in cancellation of the registration.

Okay, so in 2014, I have to remember to renew the paperwork. Does anyone out there remember that I have a slight case of the "anxieties"? Will my electronic calendar really send me a reminder like I asked it to?

Maybe I'll tie a little string around my finger. For the next five years. Hmmmm???? Maybe not. -Monica

Two year old stand up comedy...

Seriously. I'm working from home today and Danny and I were looking through the our recent pictures to select one to post, and when he saw this one he could no stop laughing. I think maybe it's because both he and the duck have bills. ;-) Come to think of it, that is pretty funny. (He is still laughing by the way!)

And I was especially pleased that he said pointed to Susanne's pic and said "mama" and to himself and said "me". Maybe the callling me "me" phase is over? Sure hope so. -Monica

I guess it is all about me…

So Danny has listened for months and months to the both of us saying “this is mama” and “this is mommy”.

But just to make doubly sure he got the difference we’d say it sort of affectedly like, “this is mama” and “this is momMY”.

Which if you think about it sounds exactly like “momMEEE!”

So now guess what his new name for me (mommy) is?

Yup.

Me.

Or rather MEEE!

So when he wants my attention or wants something from me he points my way and says ME.

You have no idea how confusing this can be. Oh Lord. I think I liked it better when I was Mamaca. -Monica

Danny and Oscar keeping it real...

Real fun that is!

Truth and Reality

(For the 4th annual Blogging for LGBT Families Day I'm posting an edit of a something I wrote earlier this year. Have a great day everybody!) -Monica

When we read stories to our two year old son Danny that have a mommy and a daddy in them, we always change the words to say mommy and mama instead. We read this idea in a book on gay parenting (sorry I can’t remember which) and think it makes great sense.

It is possible to find stories that talk about families having two moms or two dads, but they are pretty rare. Todd Parr’s “The Family Book” is a great example, but it’s the exception not the rule. You see, we want Danny to know that that even though our family is not the same as a lot of other kids’ families, it’s valid. It’s is true.

Truth. You may ask, “If you value truth, why would you lie to Danny by saying there are two moms when there are not? Isn’t he going to realize that you’ve been lying to him when he can read on his own?”

Well, let’s take a look at this concept of truth in our world. Remember the Brady Bunch? What a fun show! (I can only imagine how all those kids out there who had step moms and step dads loved that the Brady’s were all step siblings.)

But let’s peel our onion back a little further shall we? Robert Reed played Mike Brady. The quintessential wonderful father. He was so handsome, so wise. Go on--admit it--you loved him. He was a great dad. But in real life Robert Reed was gay. And closeted. He was not free to live a truthful life, much less portray a character that was true to himself on that show. Can you imagine if they’d done a show about two dads coming together to “form a family—that’s the way they all became the Brady Bunch”? Forget Mike and Carol! Go Mike and Darrell! No, that was not an option then. (Sadly, not even now I don’t think.)

And what about Maurice Sendak? He wrote a children’s story that is generally regarded as a classic of American illustrated children's literature--“Where the Wild Things Are”. Mr. Sendak came out of the closet when his partner of many years died in 2007.

He's been quoted as saying that he didn’t think he would have been a successful author, particularly of children’s stories, if people had known he were gay. So you know that our star of “Where the Wild Things Are”, little Max, did not have two same sex parents. Because even if Mr. Sendak would have loved to have written a story where he and his beloved partner were the parents in that tale, he could not have. "Society" would not have allowed that truth to be told."

So where was I going with this? Oh. Truth and reality. When Danny’s old enough we’ll explain to him why we changed “daddy” to “mama”. I think he'll understand that we wanted him to see that our world is not as "abnormal" as some might think. Quite the contrary actually. In closing I'll say that one thing that always rung true to me was the though that "our values, beliefs and behaviors are "caught" not "taught"." We'd like our son to "catch" an understanding of the world that is inclusive of all. And that's the truth! -Monica

In my dreams...

Our DC area just got something like 8 inches of rain this month and one happy result of this is that we've not had to water our vegetable garden beds at all. Everything is coming in beautifully, and this all got me to thinking that if Mother Nature can intercede like this and virtually eliminate a daily task for us, then mabye we should hope for more.

Like maybe a periodic mighty wind that could blow though the house and put everything back where it should be? And wash and fold the laundry too? I'm just being greedy right? -Monica

Thanks for my Kinderbike Pop Pop!

Danny's grandfather (Su's dad) got Danny a German balance bike for his birthday. It has no pedals so kids learn to run along to get some momentum then sit on their seat and learn to balance and ride.

He's just a tad too short for it yet, but at the rate he's growing he'll be off to the races soon. Of course this means he now has to wear a helmet which he is not crazy about. As you can see in the pic we need to do some more adjusting of the strap so it actually protects him.

As Danny would say "Tatoo Pop Pop." (Thank you Pop Pop.) -Monica

He's just the sweetest little thing!

Yep. Danny's the big "oh two" today. Happy birthday son! Here is a list of a few of our favorite things:

• he still says "OH!" instead of "yes" (it's so feaking adorable.)
• conversely he says "NO" quite clearly ;-)
• when he wakes up he likes to call out "Hi!" Over and over again. Again adorable.
• he loves to be outside. He calls it "bye" because that's what someone ususally says when they go outside.
• speaking of "bye" he likes to call his favorite purple blanky "bye" (or is it "buy" or "by"?) Don't know where that one came from.
• His sippy cup is his "bow" (sort of like bow-wow) We think he's sort of saying bottle.
• Airplanes and helicopters are still "cacas"

And then there are all the real words. Every day it's something new and even though he's not as talkative as some other kids he is extremely communicative. Now he's surprising us by thowing in some German words even though Su always feels like she doesn't speak to him enough in German. Believe me, if something is too hot to eat, it's "heiss".

Happy birthday little Daniel. You make us both so happy and proud. Kisses! Love, your moms.